lovingskeptic

[lovingskeptic]

“At some point you just have to let go of what you thought should happen and live in what is happening.”

— Unknown

[lovingskeptic]

Rules for a Beautiful Life

1. Love yourself and other people.

2. Don’t grow hard and bitter.

3. Decide not to worry.

3. Live a very simple life.

4. Be thankful for the small things.

5. Smile and laugh frequently.

6. Think the best of others.

7. Make your dreams reality.

[lovingskeptic]

I saw someone who I have a weird history withs face pop up on my Instagram feed and immediately started feeling weird and bad and then started feeling even worse in self awareness of not wanting to feel weird and bad and then it occurred to me trying not to have a reaction or a emotion is so unnatural and it's okay to have those feelings of discomfort or uneasyness and it doesn't have to be changed or transformed! I can just feel weird because that's how it makes me feel it doesn't require something changed.

[lovingskeptic]

@ myriadwaveart

[lovingskeptic]

journal entry #2

[lovingskeptic]

[lovingskeptic]

[lovingskeptic]

It's not fair to tolerate discomfort to make someone else comfortable. You're not less deserving of joy, rest and happiness than anyone else. You don't have to prove yourself worthy to have the most basic things in life, and I am sorry someone has made you feel like you should be perfect. You don't have to put up with so much only to prove you're not a burden on others. I hope soon you can let go of all this guilt and shame you have for simply existing. I hope soon you will feel more alive than ever.

[lovingskeptic]

you know what hits me about the “on purpose on purpose im going to love you on purpose” “i’ll take care of you, it’s rotten work, not to me not if it’s you” “im going to love you without a single string attached” “i don’t know where to put it all the love i have for her, i’ll take it” “i walked in love with you with both eyes open choosing to take every step”?

they all have the same desire, they all desire for someone to Want it, for love to not be an accident or something that happens without recognising it, they all have the overtones desire of wanting someone to deem you worthy of love, to see you and meet you and know you and Want to love you, to make that choice and stick by it because loving you or being loved by you is something so deeply worth it and fulfilling and moving and powerful that they Want it, in their soul they crave to love and be loved

they’re such varieties of the basic desire to be wanted

they say these things and they mean “love me because i am lovable” not “love me because you find me desirable/you have realised you already do/you want something from me” etc

it’s “love me because i am me and you are aware of that” and it’s something you can just scream to someone when you can’t find another way to say “i am choosing to love you because loving you is something i want to experience no matter the outcome”

love them . On purpose, on Purpose and by choice and intentionally you will Love Them

[lovingskeptic]

you aren’t a bad person for recognising things that are causing more harm than good and distancing yourself from them.

[lovingskeptic]

the line between not going out as an act of self-care and not going out as a symptom of depression is but a gossamer thread

[lovingskeptic]

— James Baldwin, They Can’t Turn Back

[lovingskeptic]

Linda Hogan, from Dark. Sweet.: New & Selected Poems; “Sweetness"

[lovingskeptic]

i aim for sweetness and softness to take over my entire being

[lovingskeptic]

Needed this

[lovingskeptic]

truly the end goal is not "my close friends aren't annoyed by me and it's all in my head, they're my friends and they love me", it's "sometimes I do annoy my close friends, just as the people I love most will also annoy me sometimes, because this is normal, and we will continue to stay friends, and they're not going to want to immediately cut me out of their life if I do something annoying once in a while"

[lovingskeptic]

one of the big concepts I learned in therapy that has been fucking revolutionary for me is the concept that sometimes u can just feel feelings and they don't have to mean anything.

like, I can just be sad about something for a little while because it feels cathartic and helpful to let myself be sad, and it doesnt have to mean anything or change how I act or treat people.

like sometimes u just need to feel an emotion in order to process and work through things, and sometimes it just feels good to let urself be sad about a silly or little thing. and then once its out its over, uve experienced it and now it is done so u can move on.

and I dont have to derive greater meaning from it or do anything about it. i was just sad for a few hours and now i feel better and that's all that matters.