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Falling...
You know I was falling for you, So hopelessly. I fell for all your stares, I fell for all your words, I was falling for you. You gave me hope, You gave me thoughts for a future. I was falling for you. You opened my heart to possibilities, You made me vulnerable, I was falling for you & nothing ever came to mind that you wouldn't fall for me. Eli
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Lie
I lied... I had every intention of getting you back, it was never in question. But your loyalty always was... I came back for you, I came back Stronger, Smarter & Wiser. And I came back for you, but like always... you seem to ruin our Happy Ending or should I say mine? I lied, I was always coming back to you...
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Future
Ever looked at someone & seen everything with them? Like as if they were capable of showing you the future. Your Future, your Future together... Seems so far from reality but when we speak & confess our feelings, our future looks closer.
#LovingEli
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Others
Why should I give you My All when you only give me pieces of you Its like every Wall I build you manage to tear it down with your What If's. Like you always do, you wear me down until I comply. I'll comply when you surrender yourself to me. Unlike the others, I don't just want a piece of you, but All of you. Give me all your Fury, your passion & love. Give me those pieces of you, that you are afraid to face alone. You see I am different from the others, Bc I always found your light in the midst of your darkness and I loved it. Eli
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Unknown Lover
Its amazing how much you destroy inside of me with just a bat of your eyes. I Swoon for you... Ever so enticing, with your big brown eyes. You do more to me with them than you'll ever imagine. I get so swepted up into your entoxicating scent. And when my head hits the clouds; I am with you. You've Always been my Favorite Vice... Eli
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Unknown2
It was brief as always, but enough to make me at ease. Its shamfeul how one call can alter my mood. Yet here I am Trying to step out my box & reflect. Reflect on things i've said & done. In the mix of all of this, You come back & I forget... And Shamefully I invoke you.
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Unknown
I'm guilty of missing you & our memories, what can I say. What can I do, its fate. There's just something there something that keeps us apart. So I setle for memories of you, pieces of you... Bc Iam guilty.... Eli
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Afternoon Thoughts
I'm learning now more than ever to pay attention to my inner voice, to align myself with it. Learning to trust her more than ever, allowing her to guide me. Not sure where it will take me but I'm sure it will be rewarding. Gentle even... I'm learning to listen more, and find comfort in knowing I cannt control anything anymore. Just accept what is & what will be, Bc she will guide me... She will guide me back to You. Eli
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Your Favorite
Your Favorite, isn't that what you call me? You say it as if I am sort of flavor to you, is that all I am? Your Favorite... Your pleasure, is all I am to you. You say it like I am yours, yet theres nothing ever behind it. Just your claim over me, your labels for me, your desires for me... Is All I'll ever need... Eli
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I Know...
And That is what I always do, right? You think I'll forget you & the feeling you gave me. And The love we had... I can't, its ingrained into my skin. You see every feeling every thought is always you. Eli
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QuarantineXx Week3
Its been weird lately, You go outside to get some clean air and you end up feeling paranoid. It's like your own thoughts are against you. People are walking around stressed & scared. I guess that is why I blend in, I find myself in constant fear. What should I do? What should I focus on? I can barely keep it together these days, I'm exhausted... I need things to get better... Eli
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Quarantinex Week3
I've managed to wake up farely decent this morning despite my mood. Tussled under the covers, played in my hair waves & let out a sweet yawn. This is my morning, my new mornings... Its strange to wake up & not have any where to go, to start your day. There is just so much time to do more and yet I sit here. I sit here wondering how long this will go on, if I'll lose the lil Den I created... I don't know what to say Eli
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Quarantine XXX I think I've been at home for 2 Weeks now. Its been a Blessing & a Curse. I find myself emotional most of the time, bc of all this uncertainty. Other times I feel at peace, like I am safe in my own Lion's Den. I sit, I contemplate... Not knowing what challanges I'll have to face, its exhausting & draining. You know, I often wonder why I go through so many situations that were meant to break you. Its like anytime I feel like I can breathe again, I get the wind knocked out of me. How do you keep going after each time? How do you muster up the strength? Bc I am running out of strength, my tank is running on empty. And I don't have much to hold onto. Eli
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