but then why am i screaming? why am i shaking? oh, god, was there something that i missed? did i squander my divinity? was happiness within me the whole time?
Jules de Ferrier genuenly makes me so insane because I didn't remember anything that happened past volume 12 until I started my second full re read last month. To say Jules sleeping with GIlbert while he is in that state was a jumpscare it would be understimate it.
This is mainly hate but the only real reasoning i have for that to happen is that it was meant to show Jules becoming evil and just like August or whatever but in a canon point of view it makes no sense because WHAT FAULT DOES GILBERT HAVE? I "understood" his beef with Rosemarine because I am constantly remembering dove of happiness. Cool he was mean to you as a kid and you are fucked up mentally I GET IT I HATE IT BUT AT LEAST YOU TELL ME WHERE ITS COMING FROM WHAT THE FUCK DOES GILBERT HAVE TO DO WITH YOUR FUCKED UP HEADDDDD