love-filled-doll

[love-filled-doll]

nevermind.

god gives his prettiest soldiers substance abuse issues

#it feels fine i guess #music is really good #all my senses are enhanced #but i can't stop thinking about how awful the world is and how badly i've irreparably ruined my life #and every time i close my eyes i see demons and car crashes

[love-filled-doll]

oohhhhhhhhhhhhh this feels nice ~♡♡♡

god gives his prettiest soldiers substance abuse issues

[love-filled-doll]

god gives his prettiest soldiers substance abuse issues

#microdosing on shrooms lets see how fucked up i get!! #I wonder what he'd say if he were here

[love-filled-doll]

need a mf to put up w my theatric bullshit

like listen to me pathetically whine like a damsel in distress so you look at me even for just a second

im such a princess tbh

#MEEEEEEE AS HELL

[love-filled-doll]

To everybody with BPD who’s disorder is not gentle, silent, or socially acceptable but loud, violent, and turns others away from them; you are not a burden, I promise you that you are not a burden. You are not your negative symptoms. They are not a reflection of the person that you are.

We need more recognition for borderlines that cannot control or have a difficult time controlling their rage, borderlines that become violent during an episode, borderlines who use subst4nces, borderlines who have delusions that are not socially acceptable, borderlines who have a difficult time regulating their emotions, borderlines who do not have friends or have a difficult time making them, borderlines who cannot trust others, borderlines who cannot decide or figure out who they are, borderlines who have symptoms which are considered “ugly” by others because an expectation had been put upon us to act a certain way.

BPD can be ugly. BPD can be lonely. BPD can break social expectations. BPD can make you abandon your loved ones or cause them to leave you. BPD can be so delusional that the sufferer is fully convinced within their delusion. BPD can be scary and confusing for the sufferer.

Just because your symptoms are more difficult to handle than another, it does NOT make you unlovable.

[love-filled-doll]

hey (with the intention of cutting you open and living inside you so that we never have to part because you’re my fp and i love you and if you ever abandon me i’ll go insane)

#🧸 #hey <3

[love-filled-doll]

you won't leave me right? you won't leave me ever? you like me and want to spend all of your time with me right? you won't mind if i stalk your every move? you're so interesting to me why wouldn't i want to know everything about you?

#🧸

[love-filled-doll]

I adore you. I love you. You're all I think about. You are the only thing I ever think about. You are all I want.

[love-filled-doll]

you dont understand how badly I need to be the only one. the only one you think of. the only one you look at. the only one whos voice you adore. the only one you miss. you dont need anyone but me and ill fucking gut anyone else who thinks they have a chance with you.

#🧸

[love-filled-doll]

I feel like a bad partner because of my bpd. My episodes are exhausting. I'm exhausting. I can't help I'm broken, but I can help my behavior. I'm so sorry. I know I apologize too much. I'm sorry you have to walk on eggshells. I feel guilt, knowing that a different partner could be easier for you. I feel guilt knowing practically no one will put up with me. Why do you?

[love-filled-doll]

i hate that BPD gives me such a lack of emotional permanence.

you can spend hours describing the ways in which you care about me, yet the moment you stop my brain will immediately decide you hate me and are destined to leave me.

#[2 minutes after he tells me he loves me] Huh i wonder if he still loves me. He probably doesnt. I should kill myself over this information

[love-filled-doll]

Please love me. I need your love above all else.

#🧸

[love-filled-doll]

*doesn't interact with people* how come I have no friends :((( how is that possible :(((( why aren't people fighting over being friends with me :((

[love-filled-doll]

I can't just be your favorite, my love. I need to be the only. Nobody else gets to see you the way i do, adore you the way i do, or touch you the way i do. You're mine, only mine. If they lay one finger against you, ill cut off their fucking hand.

#🧸

[love-filled-doll]

I'm not given attention and suddenly I'm on the floor wailing like I'm about to die

[love-filled-doll]

keep me around, won't you? god, i'd do anything for you. all you have to do is tell me what you want and i'll do it. anything.

#🧸

[love-filled-doll]

NPD culture is wishing so badly people crushed on you? I always instantly assume if someone talks about a crush, it has to be me, knowing damn well no one will ever like me in that way. I don't know why I do it, knowing it isn't me, and then I end up setting myself up for disappointment. I assume I'm so amazing and leave such a big mark on people when it's quite the opposite.

I wish I wasn't so unlikable. I don't think anyone I've met (that I actually found important) has ever liked me like that. I think I'm having a crash over this too, which makes me feel so stupid.

.