lothioriien

[lothioriien]

hot evil characters who i want to fix but will make me cry if i actually meet them in real life>>>>>>

[lothioriien]

baldur's gate 3 but make it incredibly cheesy valentines day cards

shoutout to my friends helping out with some of the lines because i was fighting for my life on some of these

[lothioriien]

Artists who know how to draw armors or very detailed clothing are powerful

[lothioriien]

I love your work and saw that your request for baldur's gate 3 was open and was wondering if you can do Astarion x abused? Reader

Basically the reader's father was a narcissist and they or she whichever you prefer. Even though they ran away years ago old habits die hard. They feel the need to take care of everyone else cause that's how they survived for so long and put on a front of being the strong leader they "need". Then maybe they have some sort of nightmare either being dragged back or something feeling the trapped feeling they felt for so long. Maybe Astarion hears them whimpering or something after a hunt and curiosity gets the best of him and ends up comforting them. 

notes: didnt want to get too into what abuse the reader had suffered, so I kept it reasonably vague. hurt/comfort

rating: M (due to themes)

pairing: astarion x reader

Astarion hears the sobbing from the moment he steps foot into camp.

He has exceptional hearing anyway and having just fed his senses are sharpened to a knife-point - he zeroes in on the sound with bat-like perception. Ears twitching as he goes, he tip-toe follows the noise to… 

…your tent.

That is a surprise. He’s not sure that he’s ever been present to you being anything other than… well, joyful. Constantly smiling. Constantly caring. Constantly laughing and reaching out a hand in friendship, the very epitome of what a good leader ought to be. Even in battle you don’t let awful odds get to you, always crying out reassurance from behind your shield as you fend off bloodied spears and vicious claws.

Maybe it is ego that makes Astarion go to your little refuge. He wants to see you shatter, just a bit. Just so he can reassure himself that you aren’t as infallible as you seem; that you are kith like the rest of them, able to err and break.

Or maybe it’s not because of any of that. It is because, despite it all, he has genuinely come to care for you.

Either way when he pulls open the fabric door his heart twinges uncomfortably in his chest.

You sit up in your bedroll, face buried in your hands, ugly tears boiling out from under your palms and soaking the sleeves of your sleep clothes. Your whole body heaves from both the raw emotion and the effort of trying to keep it under control. He’s never seen you so open. 

You look up when you hear the rustle of his arrival. He freezes as the two of you lock eyes. 

“Shit,” is all he can muster, and is it relief he feels when despite everything, you laugh?

“Sorry, did I wake you?” you ask, grabbing a handful of blanket and roughly drying your face with it. An attempt to hide the shame of crumbling.

“No, I was still up - out hunting,” he says, and you nod in acceptance. The two of you remain there for a moment, staring. Astarion is stuck on a threshold, both literally between outside and in, but also one of the soul. He wants to reach out. He wants to withdraw. He doesn’t know what he wants.

Eventually, your soft eyes win him over. He walks in and lets the tent fall closed, sitting down across from you on your bedroll. He feels your feet wiggle aside to make space for him and is struck by the intimacy of what he is doing.

This is unlike him. Stupid, stupid. Don’t reveal too much, don’t leave yourself open to vulnerability. He tries to affect a posture of ease, leaning back on his hands.

“Nightmare?” he asks. You nod again, sighing.

“Sorry, I must look dreadfully silly. I was just thinking about… someone I used to know.”

Astarion winces. Yes. He’s been there, hasn’t he - devoured by the panic of your past catching up with you. 

“You don’t look silly at all. A bit blotchy, perhaps, but not all of us can look beautiful when we cry.”

He flips his hair and that makes you laugh again. The atmosphere in the tent gets a little lighter. He watches the way your hands desperately look for something to occupy them, how they start picking at the loose stitches in any fabric you can find.

“This man. He used to, erm… hurt me. Quite badly, actually.” He hates the way your usually vibrant eyes have dulled. “And I managed to get away - ran away, really - but sometimes… you know. Something reminds me of him and I get dragged down again.”

Damn it all, Astarion finds himself reaching out and covering your hands with one of his. You stop your slow dismantling of your blanket thread-by-thread.

“I understand,” is what he’s able to force out of his suddenly tight throat. He’s mentioned Cazador before, trying to make a joke out of it, pretending it doesn’t bother him now that it’s all in the past - but it does bother him. Scares the life out of him, really, or this facsimile of a life he’s been able to build for himself now he’s free. 

Your fingers slide between his and hold him very tightly. 

The two of you sit in silence.

And then he decides to move properly, shuffling ungraciously so that he can be by your side rather than across from you, his arms wrapping around your body and bringing you close.

Your shoulders hitch a little. Fresh tears warm his shirt, patched dozens of times over because of a man who wouldn’t let him buy anything nice and new.

“I’m fucking tired of being strong. It feels like it’s too much sometimes,” you confess, voice barely louder than a whisper. He tucks his head over yours, your scalp beneath his chin, as if he can shield you from the world like this.

“Then don’t be strong. If it feels better, be weak, my dear. I’m the only one here and I promise you that won’t mind.”

You know that, for once, he won’t. Astarion ‘my favourite activity is to judge everyone I meet’  Ancunín is happy to let you lay your soul bare in front of him. So you do, you let yourself force every emotion you’ve ever bottled up leak out of you, in drips at first and then in a full tsunami. You cry so hard that you lose the ability to make sound for a while, silently choking on tears long since overdue.

He holds you all through it. He is not a strong man but his grip is tight, keeping you grounded, and he knows it helps because eventually you go from crying to sobbing to neutral to asleep. You breath evens out into something more controlled and when he moves to look at your face he is relieved your eyes have shut and that you can finally find a little peace. Gods know you deserve it.

You’re the strongest one of them all. He decides that perhaps he wouldn’t mind being there to help you shoulder things, if you need.

He lays down with you, limbs tangled, and drifts off.

taglist: @ghosti02art @sadandanxiouswtf @yeethaw13 @trappedinlimbo15 @infinitely-kate @dhampling @wereallbrokenangels @tilldeathdonugget@hopeful-n-sad

[lothioriien]

[lothioriien]

Halsin, my heart 💚

[lothioriien]

#HE'S SO SAD???? #no listen #this man has NOBODY #his family is dead #the grove was a burden #his homeland is swallowed in shadow #he turned to alcohol in his grief #a grief so palpable that it fused itself to a weapon #he brushes off his trauma in the underdark like it's nothing #BECAUSE HONESTLY? WHEN DOES HE ACTUALLY LET HIMSELF BE VULNERABLE #PROBABLY NEVER #UNTIL NOW #'I've taken many lovers. My heart does not stir lightly.' #sounds a lot like a man using sex to cope #the same way he used alcohol i bet #grief is easily one of the top causes of addiction #and if you let him down here he says 'but i was sure we had a connection...' #case in point: halsin decides in this moment that he will be vulnerable for you #you are not just a lay to him. you are someone worth fighting his own grief for. #he wants to love and be loved no matter how scary it might be #and larian had better give me more options to show him bc i swear to god #if i have to sit here and listen to the 'i only want you, but you can be with whoever!' line one more time WITHOUT the option to tell him that he's all i want too #i will be sad forever #/endrant

[lothioriien]

what a hottie

[lothioriien]

"But perhaps there is more that I want..." "This 'more' that you want. What is it?" "Not what. Who."

Explicit [NSFW]

Just Halsin thinking about Tav late at night, torn between them and being dedicated to give the Shadowcurse his full and undivided attention. Show some restraint, Archdruid!

Not pictured; Tav being exactly the same their own tent. (let's pretend they have one)

In true Halsin tradition, I'll attach a song for vibe. Now SURPRISINGLY, it's not a "sexy song". Could I have used one? Yeah totally. But the bittersweet pining fits this painting really well. And it's present on pretty much every single Halsin playlist I've seen haha (including Dave's)

Say "Night-ie night" and kiss me Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me While I'm alone and blue as can be Dream a little dream of me

Stars fading but I linger on, dear Still craving your kiss I'm longing to linger 'til dawn, dear Just saying this

thank you for coming to my TED talk

[lothioriien]

its smooch time

I love this man, I'd let his hair tickle my face any day.

[lothioriien]

"Wherever you need me."

Halsin isn't someone you connect with darkness or angst. And yet.

Yet; he's one of the few survivors from the battle against Ketheric Thorm and the shadow curse. Can you imagine the feeling of dread as the lands around you is plunged into a cursed darkness, your fellow warriors being taken, mutated, transformed into spectres right in front of you. Like the cinematic with the Harpers, except there's no warning and nobody knows what's going on. Reciting the names of the fallen would take days.

"I was forgetting who I was. But you lifted the fog."

But he soldiers on. A hundred years pass.

Then he meets you.

Mandatory listening;

While the initial sketch was really just a thing I did to relax, when I decided to colour it in I made a conscious decision to paint it in juxtaposition to my first painted portrait of him. Instead of this cocky, glowing, happy, confident vibe, I wanted it vulnerable, quiet, longing, romantic. Like a portrait you'll see in a gallery. Instead of the sun warming his back and giving him a glow, it's his lover that's providing the only light. In this moment he gives up on the responsibility of being a leader and look to them for their wisdom instead.

Then I added the blood and suddenly it was not only quiet, but tragic.

You found him, bloodied and adrift. Your hands, also covered in blood, touch him gently - saves him. In that moment you connect, mind and soul, and he will follow and protect you until such a time you need him no more.

[lothioriien]

I can keep him too, right? 🥺

[lothioriien]

sweetheart it's 3am and I'm posting Halsin covered in honey please save me

prints | high res on patreon

[lothioriien]

[lothioriien]

I painted over my Halsin portrait with his hair down for science and

oh my fucking god

somebody call me an ambulance

[lothioriien]

This man holds my heart just like he holds these ducks

[lothioriien]