lostinathoughtonceagain

[lostinathoughtonceagain]

Friday night

Like sometimes everything I’m tired of

Humans will gross me out

[lostinathoughtonceagain]

I just sometimes get tired of everything

[lostinathoughtonceagain]

tonight was savanahs 18th birthday oarty

hayden had it at his house the poor kid so sober so sweet

people broughta  lot of people they didnt know and the cops came

im so glad i left with trinity and caroline

my gut told me to

savanha dn soohia had to call their parents

my dad wouldve been mad

but also im 18 so cops were fine with me

trinitys room is so cute with the balack lights and i adore her sister brooke with the blue hair 

trinity struggled with an eaing disorder

she wants supporters

she said we could be each others sponsor

[lostinathoughtonceagain]

i feel like i know my mom was judging me

i was triping over my words but thats because i get nervous with her honestly

its all in your head katie

ive been feeling less depressed the last few days

and still 

today i cried because i realized how scary it is to have an eatinf disorder

a a mental disorder

i think its scary that my perspective could be so off from reality

abd even scarier that theres almost a monster possessing me

[lostinathoughtonceagain]

I wish my brain could just memorize what I’m thinking

I live writing and pulling out a phone when you have. Thought or idea sometimes isn’t always the most convenient

I’m down the street from both home

I call it the middle ground

Libbi called me out and asked that I don’t flirt with her boyfriend

How did she know

Am I just a bitch

I recognized I’ve had inapritwte relationships and so tonight I wasn’t “friendly” to him as I had before

She said real best friends are douch bags to the best friends boyfriend”

I could tell

Those little triggers

Flinches

Annoyance possibly

Perhaps anger

I had that with Nathan my first real boyfriend

It just is scary to see

At that age

Thank you Jesus I made it safe

[lostinathoughtonceagain]

Libbie is going crazy

She’s upset

It was when I got the cigarette from him

“Don’t he naive she says”

About the 38 year old who said I was eyeing him

I want him

Libbies

Boyfriend

That’s so bad

I’m the worst friend

I want to kiss him

No

stop

U don’t

Stop

[lostinathoughtonceagain]

I feel and extreme amount of guilt

My family is probably all mad at me

I havnt been connecting with my family

It’s not like they’ve really tried

Michael said it felt like a slap in the face that I was high upstairs instead of hanging with my brothers

I wish I could go back but we were all doing our our thing

Michael dosnt even hardly check in on me and when he does it’s to yell

I’m really embarrassed about my friends

They were such dicks

It’s my fault

I was the one letting them

In

I didn’t feel connected to my family

Is it cuz I brought a friend

I wish I spent longer on gifts

I feel so sad

This is my last Christmas at home

There’s nothing to do about last night I should just start over

[lostinathoughtonceagain]

1. Christmas gifts

2. Car wash inside

3. Clean room

4. Eyelash extensions

5. Kombucha

6. Get frames for gifts and wrap if needed

[lostinathoughtonceagain]

“I mean I am.. and I’d like you to do it”

Going to fashion valley with my dad and Barrett. I’m so tired and I don’t feel well but I am excited to be hanging out with them.

[lostinathoughtonceagain]

Idea:

Order stuff with stuff you don’t like so you have to eat around it and eat slower and don’t divulge

[lostinathoughtonceagain]

Susan

Fun she is

She could use family time

Connor

I realized there’s a high chance of my family saying something triggering so maybe I should invite Susan to something else

I’ll be friends with Susan longer than I’ll be hanging with Connor

So I should bring him while he’s around hahahaha

Boy

So cute

See my family

[lostinathoughtonceagain]

[lostinathoughtonceagain]

[lostinathoughtonceagain]

You tubers

David d makes less because he’s not monetize by YouTube’s guidelines

[lostinathoughtonceagain]

[lostinathoughtonceagain]

“Only if you promise to chill the fuck out” HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

[lostinathoughtonceagain]

I hate being without a vehicle