llockandkeyl

[llockandkeyl]

baby girl why are you so ears

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time of year i remind every cane user to get an ice pick so you dont fall and die

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my old man dog isn't great at hopping up on the couch anymore but he CAN do it and he will NOT accept help. it's almost adorable except when he just stands in front of me and barks at me to get out of "his" spot so that i'll stop what i'm doing, get up off the couch, and watch as he spends 5 minutes hyping himself up to jump into my newly vacant seat

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he's very excited about his first night as a jack o lantern

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Unfriendly reminder that while you're busy mourning the loss of your childs old gender, claiming you need to mourn the death of your son/daughter, there's a group of boys/girls/enbies scrambling to take your kid clothes shopping, snatching up the chance to take those "first" experiences from you forever. Your sons first fishing trip is gonna be with his best bros, your daughters first makeover is going to be with her girl friends, your kids first camping trip out as themselves is gonna be with the besties. Good luck getting those bonding experiences back. While you're busy trying to guilt-trip your kid with your weird manufactured parental trauma, there's a whole community ready to take your place as the better family.

Your loss, someone elses gain.

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To be clear, if you don't respect those who use it/its pronouns, you're not sexy, never allowed to cum and also just suck as a person and should do better.

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being butch does not make you dangerous. being butch does not mean you can’t be abused or assaulted. being butch does not give you “masculine” privilege. being butch does not give you inherent power over femmes. being butch does not make you dangerous.

being butch does not make you dangerous.

being butch does not make you dangerous.

IT IS 2023 WHY DO WE STILL THINK THAT BEING BUTCH MAKES SOMEONE DANGEROUS STOP CAPING TO RA/DF/EMS.

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what i've learned from nsfw communities is that transmascs are the horniest ppl alive

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Happy pride everyone!

Prideful cephalopods for my own self indulgence

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when you have chronic pain you just kinda get used to that spot hurting but when a NEW spot that’s not a Hurty spot starts to hurt and it’s like not even that bad but suddenly you can’t do anything cause the Wrong Spot is Hurting

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Things that real life sex has taught me that isn't in porn :

Shaking during sex, no no, not her legs, him. Yeah. It happens to men too, from anticipation and excitement. I only had one partner who used to have that sometimes and the first time it freaked me out lol.

Queefing, that has to happen at least once during sex, I mean, air goes in, sorry but it's gonna have to come out.

Going too deep actually hurts, oh my fucking god lol. IYKYK. Hitting the cervix feels like ... hmmm. Dying. Yeah, death. Like I felt your penis in my actual guts and now I need to throw up because the cramping is horrendous. Thanks, don't do that again. Does the chick in porn not have a cervix or??? I have literally thrown up from this before, it is the most painful thing I have ever experienced during sex, hands down.

That he might lose his boner mid-sex, this one's a big one lol pun intended. And uh, it might not be your fault. Actually most of the time it isn't. And guys, if it does happen, please communicate, it's really not a big deal, at least not for me, Im down to help, and also I can feel it getting softer okay lol don't be lying.

Sometimes it can be painful for the guy too, this one's more common for men who have foreskin, at least in my experience.

That you can get your period mid-sex, oh man. A sad moment for all of us. But here's the thing, when you're orgasming, everything contracts, and your uterus will contract and unfortunately if you were expecting it, welp, here it is. So yeah, it happens. But that's pretty great, personally i'm able to make my period come faster by masturbating over and over, true story (only if its a day or two away).

You can probably orgasm but it's not a given, or taking way longer than you thought. I have ridden dick like my life depended on it because I was felt it annnnnnnnnd it was gone, annnnnd it's back, noooope it's gone.

Related to the last point, looking cute when orgasming, sweetie listen, I look like I ran a marathon and like Im about to die (plus im a smoker, imagine that). So that lady in porn who's like *cute voice* oohh I'm coming! ... idk about you but I don't look cute when im about to cum super hard lol.

Stopping mid-sex because you don't feel like it anymore.

Sometimes it takes forever to get a condom or to put it on, relax dude, no one's judging you, I would rather you don't give me an std or a baby so take your time.

There's no shame in asking to put a towel down, fluids, we have those, and we have a lot of those, and sometimes, some of us can unexpectedly squirt, whatever tf that fluid is, it's gonna go everywhere.

That female lubrication can have a different color/texture depending on where she's at in her cycle/if she has an infection.

Sex is smelly.

A lot of us moan louder than we actually want to, to help you out. I have done that before, when bored or when the guy was doing something I didn't really enjoy but he did. Whatever, hey at least I've never faked an orgasm, Im literally not giving you that lol if you suck, you suck sorry. Now ... the reason you prob shouldn't do that is that he's gonna think he's doing something good, when really he isn't. Then he's gonna have sex with someone else, and do the same shit, and she's also not gonna cum. Don't be the reason another lady can't have an orgasm ok.

That trying different positions isn't super glamorous. Some hurt, some don't feel like anything, some are awkward. Just because your bestie swears by reverse cowgirl, doesn't mean it'll work for you.

That it's ok to stop and take a water and snack break, sorry one sec, Im hypoglycemic.

That a lot of the time when you get fucked hard enough, you're shifting, like, quite a bit, and next thing you know you're almost falling off the bed, it's not cute, who cares.

That sex can be awkward, uncomfortable, painful, not enjoyable, and that all of that is normal.

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Reblog if you think global warming is bad and we should house the unhoused and prisons should be abolished and you're my personal cock slut and um kittens shouldn't be kicked.

Basically if you don't reblog then that's kinda fucked up. I can't believe you wanna kick kittens.

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I LOVE TRANS PEOPLE

I LOVE SKINNY TRANS PEOPLE

I LOVE FAT TRANS PEOPLE

I LOVE MUSCULAR TRANS PEOPLE

I LOVE DISABLED TRANS PEOPLE

I LOVE TRANS PEOPLE WHO DON’T OR WANT TO TAKE HORMONES

I LOVE TRANS PEOPLE WHO CAN’T TAKE HORMONES

I LOVE TRANS PEOPLE WHO TAKE HORMONES

I LOVE TRANS PEOPLE WHO HAVE AFFIRMING SURGERIES

I LOVE TRANS PEOPLE WHO DON’T WANT OR NEED AFFIRMING SURGERIES

I LOVE TRANS PEOPLE WHO CAN’T HAVE AFFIRMING SURGERIES

I LOVE TRANS PEOPLE THAT ARE APART OF SYSTEMS

I LOVE NON-HUMAN TRANS PEOPLE

I LOVE TRANS POC (THIS INCLUDES MIXED POC OF COURSE!)

I LOVE TRANS WOMEN

I LOVE TRANS MEN

I LOVE TRANS PEOPLE OUTSIDE THAT BINARY

I LOVE PEOPLE WHO CALL THEMSELVES TRANSEXUAL

I LOVE STRAIGHT TRANS PEOPLE

I LOVE GAY TRANS PEOPLE

I LOVE AROMANTIC SPECTRUM TRANS PEOPLE

I LOVE ASEXUAL SPECTRUM TRANS PEOPLE

I LOVE NEURODIVERGENT TRANS PEOPLE

I LOVE BEING TRANSEXUAL

I LOVE HOW DIFFERENT WE ALL ARE

I LOVE TRANS PEOPLE

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thinking about weird cultural shit around sexuality/swear words/etc etc and how wild it is that i have to teach my phone’s autocorrect to let me say “fuck”. thats a thing i have to do. my phone will go “Nuh-uh, you naughty so-and-so, you can’t say that!” until i tell it enough times that Yes, Actually, I Don’t Mean Ducking and how fucking wild that is. earlier today i had to convince my phone that “hickies” was a word. hickies is too explicit for my phone to include in its default dictionary. but yknow what? it always capitalizes YouTube correctly.

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