levsnokov

[levsnokov]

i hate na sa ucc lang ako mapupunta.

nadi-disappoint na naman ako, i feel like a failure.

[levsnokov]

oh, hindi pa nakapasa sa up.

back again.

i simply hate it when my mom comes home pissed and even if she's supposed to be mad at one person, nadadamay kaming lahat.

my brother just so happens to forget to do 4 of his projects and imbis na magalit ako, nagmagandang loob nalang ako and nag print ng mga pics na kelangan niya. nagpunta sa chs para doon magpa-print kasi wala na colored ink printer namin kaso sarado print shops there. and wala rin akong dalang phone at the time so dumeretso ako kina josel. nakakahiya kasi wala man lang akong pasabi sa kaniya but he was kind enough at hindi ako pinagbayad. im very thanful sa kaniya non kasi idk, it made me emotional nung andoon ako.. kasi biruin mo yun, someone's kind enough to do u one thing at the exoense of nothing.

i kept thanking him before i left to drive home. madilim na rin non at the time and i was rushing home para may masimulan na si ian bago siya maabutan ni mama na walamg ginagawa.

i got home and gave the papers and he got to work agad. mama arrived 5 minutes after i did nung una, okay naman siya, parang hindi naman ganun ka-galit. kaso nung nakita na niya si ian, doon na siya sumabog. sinisigawan niya si ian, normal na samin yun. pero smth abt today felt different and nasaktan din ako.

one thing led to another and si mama and papa na nagsasagutan. padabog kasing sinara ni mama yung pinto sa cr tapos hinagis yung timba palabas, naiinip si papa. alam niyang galit si mama pero pwede bang maging mahinahon tayo. sinasabihan kami ni mama na magaling lang kami manira pero ano bang ginagawa niya?

edi pinulot ni papa yung mga timba na hinagis ni mama tapos pabulong na sinabing "kainis naman" tapos bumuntong hininga siya. narinig ni mama.

while eating dinner, nagsasagutan na silang dalawa and it rlly drained me kasi pinapatulan nila isa't-isa. and i worried over ian kasi he has this blank look on his face and it's becoming evident sakin na nagiging normal nalang yung away magulang sa kaniya. napatingin si mama kay ian tapos binalibag sa muka niya yung takip ng baunan niya tapos binaling na naman niya galit niya kay ian and i felt my stomach drop kasi nakita ko reaction ni ian. and i felt so bad, so guilty and so helpless.

nakakahiya, buong apartment complex naririnig yung ingay sa bahay namin. tapos sakin na naman napunta yung galit niya kasi "dinadaganan" daw ng bag ko yung bagong camera and i looked over kung ano sinasabi niya and my bag isnt even directly above the camera bag and just out of fucking nowjere she threw my bag sa sahig, padabog, pagalit. lahat ng gamit ko binato niya, may basag na salamin ko.

doon na ako napuno kasi nung sinubukan kong i-explain na hindi naman, sinisigawan lang niya ako. she wont lsiten and it hurt me a lot kasi i cant even defend myself, laging siya yung tama, kami mali. bawal an raw namin gamitin yung camera, wala daw kaming pake, wala kaming malasakit, wala kaming pagiingat, di kami nagpapahalaga.

so i had to quickly text my cm, si tin, kung owede ba camera niya tom. i was practically begging and i felt so humiliated by it.

that film mattered to me tapos gagaguhin lang ako ng ganon.

iko-compare pa ako kay mark kasi nakita siya ni mama na "tablet" lang ang gamit to film..

my chest hurts so bad and i cant breathe.

[levsnokov]

back again.

i simply hate it when my mom comes home pissed and even if she's supposed to be mad at one person, nadadamay kaming lahat.

my brother just so happens to forget to do 4 of his projects and imbis na magalit ako, nagmagandang loob nalang ako and nag print ng mga pics na kelangan niya. nagpunta sa chs para doon magpa-print kasi wala na colored ink printer namin kaso sarado print shops there. and wala rin akong dalang phone at the time so dumeretso ako kina josel. nakakahiya kasi wala man lang akong pasabi sa kaniya but he was kind enough at hindi ako pinagbayad. im very thanful sa kaniya non kasi idk, it made me emotional nung andoon ako.. kasi biruin mo yun, someone's kind enough to do u one thing at the exoense of nothing.

i kept thanking him before i left to drive home. madilim na rin non at the time and i was rushing home para may masimulan na si ian bago siya maabutan ni mama na walamg ginagawa.

i got home and gave the papers and he got to work agad. mama arrived 5 minutes after i did nung una, okay naman siya, parang hindi naman ganun ka-galit. kaso nung nakita na niya si ian, doon na siya sumabog. sinisigawan niya si ian, normal na samin yun. pero smth abt today felt different and nasaktan din ako.

one thing led to another and si mama and papa na nagsasagutan. padabog kasing sinara ni mama yung pinto sa cr tapos hinagis yung timba palabas, naiinip si papa. alam niyang galit si mama pero pwede bang maging mahinahon tayo. sinasabihan kami ni mama na magaling lang kami manira pero ano bang ginagawa niya?

edi pinulot ni papa yung mga timba na hinagis ni mama tapos pabulong na sinabing "kainis naman" tapos bumuntong hininga siya. narinig ni mama.

while eating dinner, nagsasagutan na silang dalawa and it rlly drained me kasi pinapatulan nila isa't-isa. and i worried over ian kasi he has this blank look on his face and it's becoming evident sakin na nagiging normal nalang yung away magulang sa kaniya. napatingin si mama kay ian tapos binalibag sa muka niya yung takip ng baunan niya tapos binaling na naman niya galit niya kay ian and i felt my stomach drop kasi nakita ko reaction ni ian. and i felt so bad, so guilty and so helpless.

nakakahiya, buong apartment complex naririnig yung ingay sa bahay namin. tapos sakin na naman napunta yung galit niya kasi "dinadaganan" daw ng bag ko yung bagong camera and i looked over kung ano sinasabi niya and my bag isnt even directly above the camera bag and just out of fucking nowjere she threw my bag sa sahig, padabog, pagalit. lahat ng gamit ko binato niya, may basag na salamin ko.

doon na ako napuno kasi nung sinubukan kong i-explain na hindi naman, sinisigawan lang niya ako. she wont lsiten and it hurt me a lot kasi i cant even defend myself, laging siya yung tama, kami mali. bawal an raw namin gamitin yung camera, wala daw kaming pake, wala kaming malasakit, wala kaming pagiingat, di kami nagpapahalaga.

so i had to quickly text my cm, si tin, kung owede ba camera niya tom. i was practically begging and i felt so humiliated by it.

that film mattered to me tapos gagaguhin lang ako ng ganon.

iko-compare pa ako kay mark kasi nakita siya ni mama na "tablet" lang ang gamit to film..

my chest hurts so bad and i cant breathe.

[levsnokov]

biker! choso. biker! choso. biker! choso. biker! choso. biker! choso. biker! choso. biker! choso. biker! choso. biker! choso. biker! choso. biker! choso. biker! choso. biker! choso. biker! choso. biker! choso. biker! choso. biker! choso. biker! choso. biker! choso. biker! choso. biker! choso.

[levsnokov]

[levsnokov]

If you see this on your dashboard, reblog this, NO MATTER WHAT and all your dreams and wishes will come true.

[levsnokov]

[levsnokov]

abt this week.

i've been.. incredibly distant. ni hindi ko nga kayang magsabi ng i love u too. idk, ang weird this week. i gave my best kahit walang-wala na akong motivation. napipilitan nalang ako kasi kailangan and it doesn't feel good. natatawa nalang ako kasi tang ina eto na ba yun?

nung naglayas ako kuno nung friday, i thought okay, maybe this is what i needed. for a while, it worked, i was in a better mood and i had the motivation to do some of my school works. until i fell short na naman.

rehistro, walk cycle, bouncing ball, pt, job int, scrap book, tv prod, trailer, top 3..

top 3, hindi nga ako natuwa nung nalamam kong top 3 ako.. tapos sasabihin pa na "bakit ang baba mo?"

alam mo, nung nilabas yung achievers, i can already hear my relatives say "galing naman ni gaby. bat ikaw top 3 lang?" hindi ako natakot na lalabas na yung rankings, natakot ako na ma-compare, madutdutan na mas magaling kapatid ko sakin. and it hurts so much kasi none of them has the slightesy clue na gusto ko na talaga mawala sa mundong toh. yung pangungutya, pagkukumpara, dagdagan mo pa ng mga tarantadong teachers at tarantadong classmates, it's really doing a number on me.

i wanted comfort, i wanted a hug, words that would assure me na magiging okay din ang lahat, pero nung binibigay na siya sakin, it didn't make me feel good. nung niyakap ako? i didn't return it. when i got asked "r u okay?" i said i'm fine. and it sucks, kasi ano bang gusto kong mangyari? i've become so.. nonchalant, as cringy as that might sound. wala akong pake and it's scary kasi hindi ko alam gaano toh tatagal tapos wala pa akong pinagsasabihan, iba rin talaga ang strong independent woman na yan haha.

ewan ko. nawawalan ako ng gana sa lahat. i think that's a proper way to phrase it.

i wish i was better. i wish i did better.

[levsnokov]

tangina, i thought i was doing so good

[levsnokov]

yes, babe, you’re sick and twisted, will you come back to bed- what? yes, of course you’re evil and irredeemable. now can you please cuddle with me

[levsnokov]

Hannibal E6 T3

I'M SCREAMING, CRYING, DYING

HELP

I'm going to stop watching right now because I know spoilers and I know what happens after this

I'll be happy until tomorrow. In a world of lies

[levsnokov]

u be listenin to music ?

I listen to women

[levsnokov]

[levsnokov]

Sucks that "sleeping together" refers to sex. Sometimes a fella just wants to snooze with a pal.

[levsnokov]

[levsnokov]

what is this web event lmaoooo

[levsnokov]

wanting and needing and yearning and longing and desiring and pining and craving btw. if u even care