Imagine a vampire sucked your blood and they didn't even pop a boner. not even half hard. fully flaccid the entire time they sucked your blood. I'd be so humiliated.
the self care industry will sell you face masks and teas and whatnot so i'm here to remind you not to forget the most important self care activity which is masturbation
my mom hung up some clothes of mine on the doorframe and it seriously could not convey more "this guy dresses like a cartoon bully" if it got up and stole a kids lunch money