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lessirussolvr · 2 days

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Tension | Vivianne Miedema x Lioness!Reader | 18+ MDNI

Where tensions rise on the pitch, and snap something in your girlfriend.

Warnings: smut, 18+ MDNI, strap on use (r receiving)

Woso masterlist | Words: 1.2k

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Tensions were rising on the pitch as the score was stuck at 1-1 for most of the match. Vivianne scored the opening goal for The Netherlands in the fifth minute, and Alessia scored the equalizer only two minutes after. Ever since both teams have been battling.

You had gone head to head with your girlfriend time and time again, and each time you blocked her run, or her shot, you saw the frustration growing on her face.

Viv came running up the flank again, and once more you made the run out wide to stop her from getting through. You slide in and kick the ball out from under her feet, taking her down in the process as she falls over your legs. The tackle was clean and went out of bounds, so it would be a throw-in for The Netherlands. You get up first, and extend your hand to help up your girlfriend. Though she didn’t take it, she pushed your hand away and got up herself.

The fans knew you and Viv as the loving couple, which you were of course. You loved Viv dearly, and loved sharing the life you lived together with the world. With the both of you playing for Arsenal, there were plenty of moments the fans got to see of you on the pitch, and you shared your fair share of offline moments.

However when you were playing against each other, a different side of your relationship was seen. Her being a striker and you being a defender meant it was your job to stop Viv from doing hers, which often came with lots of frustrations like tonight.

You shrugged your shoulders and walked off, eager to continue the match. Daniëlle took the throw-in and threw the ball Viv’s way. It bounced off her chest right to your feet. With one swift move, you nutmeg Viv and run around her to pass the ball to Ella. You knew Viv was not going to like you nutmegging her, but you felt a sense of pride as you had successfully pulled off the move on the Dutch star striker.

On the other side of the pitch, Alessia had managed to send an assist to the far post where Chloe jumped up and changed the ball’s course of direction. The ball was just out of reach for Daphne, and hit the back of the net, along with an eruption of cheers around you in the stadium.

You ran upfield to celebrate with your teammates, tapping both Alessia and Chloe on the head, showing you appreciate their efforts, before running back for the last couple of minutes of the match.

The match ended with a final score of 1-2. You were happy with the score, from the beginning you had known that playing against a top team like The Netherlands was going to be tough, but your team managed to pull through.

You went around the pitch, hugging the Dutch squad, as they had all become your friends since you had started dating Viv. When you got to Viv, the fans might have thought that the frustrations they had seen just mere minutes before would have an effect on this moment, but over the years you had learned to push past it. Viv wrapped her arms around you and pulled you close.

“You're okay?” You whisper into her ear. Though you had not hit her on your slide tackle, you wanted to make sure nothing happened, especially after all the scares with her knee lately.

“Yeah, all good. Don't worry, love.” She reassured you. As you stepped out of her hug, you decided to press your luck.

“What about that nutmeg, eh?” The frustrated look made its way onto her face. You barely missed the way her eyes darkened as she started turning around, but you caught it just before she said, “Just wait until we get home.”

Viv's comment had you frozen in place. The way her eyes darkened and her voice dropped, had your mind spinning, and you couldn’t wait until she would be home again.

Leah walked up to you and swung her arm around your shoulder. “Are you going to come home to an angry Viv tomorrow?.” You have to hold back a smirk as you tell her, “Something like that.”

The next day you hear the front door to your shared home open, and you eagerly get up, not having been able to get Viv’s words out of your mind since she spoke them at the stadium.

The moment she laid her eyes on you, she dropped her bags and coat to the floor. “Bedroom, now.”

Your girlfriend was usually the sweetness herself, and definitely more on the soft loving part of the spectrum. With sex she let you take the lead most of the time, but you knew that tonight was not going to be one of those nights.

“Strip for me and get on the bed.” Your heart started beating faster at the commands she was giving you. This side of your girlfriend was one you didn’t see often, so you listened to her commands, wanting to enjoy every moment of this.

It was honestly ridicules how wet the simple gestures had gotten you already. You knew that as you were undressing that she would notice, but at this point there really was nothing you could do about it anymore.

You felt her eyes on you with every item of clothing that you took off, the look in her eyes was hungry. The air filled with lust and anticipation, as she made her way over to you.

“So wet baby, I haven’t even touched you yet.” Her eyes bore into yours, a smirk playing at her lips, knowing how worked up her single sentence from yesterday had made you.

“Please love, I need you.” She got onto the bed after she had gotten undressed as well, and finally connected your lips. The kiss was rough, but full of passion. That was one thing about Vivanne, no matter how frustrated she was about a situation, her actions would always come from passion.

The room filled with moans and goans as Viv was pumping her stap into you. She was close to giving you your fourth orgasm of the night, having truly taken full control this evening.

“Come one love, you can give me one more. One for each time you blocked me from scoring.” You were too far gone to even comprehend what she was getting at. The only thought on your mind was the immense pleasure that Viv was giving you. Your fifth orgasm of the night was fastly approaching, a few more thrusts from your girlfriend, and she had you falling over the edge again.

After she let you ride out your high, she collapsed into your arms. “I love you.” She whispers into your ear as she pulls out slowly. “Hmm, I love you too.” She peppered soft kisses all over your blissed out face, switching right back to the soft Vivianne Miedema. You lay in each other’s arms, enjoying the moment together after having missed each other for weeks, and knowing that no matter the competition on the field, your love for each other would always be more important than football.

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lessirussolvr · 2 days

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she’s on the run

beautiful girl series part 4 -> pt.1 -> pt.2 -> pt.3

leah williamson x daughter reader, jordan nobbs x daughter reader

this was created whilst i listened to so long, london and florida!!!!

You waited until Leah had fully descended the stairs, waiting patiently until you heard Lia and her talking in the kitchen before you started to creep off of your bed and towards your open window. It was a easy climb, one you’d made hundreds of times, you hardly batted an eyelid as you climbed out of the window, your legs swinging out and over until they hit the tiling of the roof. After that it was a simple jump from the roof too the gravel drive way, your only concern was trying to be as quiet as possible, so instead of jumping as normal, you stepped to the edge of the tiles, being ever so careful to make sure that you didn’t slip and fall. Once you got to the edge you sat down, scooting until your feet were hanging over the edge, turning onto your stomach and sliding down until your feet found one of the tresses on the side.

It was a odd form of rock climbing but with some arm strength and dodgy footing, you managed to eventually get your feet onto the gravel of your moms driveway.

You didn’t look backwards as you tiptoed across the driveway, the only think you focused on was turning your location off before starting to jog away from your mom’s house.

You didn’t know where you were going, you just knew that you needed to get far enough away that your moms friends who crowded all of the surrounding neighbourhoods couldn’t find you, you needed a way out of here.

You didn’t have a lot of options, and the options you did have were shitty, but there wasn’t really any others that would work.

You pulled your phone out of your pocket as you rounded the corner of the block, ducking into the first alleyway that you spotted.

There were a couple of numbers that were options, some better than others, you went with the first one that came to head.

The phone rings out for a few seconds, your fingers jitter against the sides of your plastic case, whether you feel prepared to admit it or not, you’re going through withdrawals, it’s around now that you’re body is accustomed to shooting up, to getting a hit of drugs and right now it’s becoming more obvious by the minute how desperate your body is for that high that your body is used to receiving.

Maya had become the older sister that you never had, she cared about you, she treated you with more care and love then anybody else in your life, there wasn’t really any hesitation in your mind as you pressed down on her contact, the ringing noise being the only thing to register in your mind.

It rang out for a while, before your phone went silent for a few seconds.

Originally, you thought that it had rung out, but then there was a groan and something else from the other side of the phone.

“Babygirl?”

You don’t know where the nickname had come from, but along the way it had just become the way that Maya had chosen to address you.

“Hey, I need your help, where are you?”

You heard some rustling, and then Maya’s voice.

“I’m still at Matt’s house, what’s happened?”

Fuck. Fuck.

Matt was a problem, but he was one of the only people who could solve your main problem right now, that was all that was at the forefront of your mind.

“Mom found out about the drugs, she took them off me. I’m crashing, can you come get me?”

More rustling, then someone talking in the background.

“Fuck, kid. I’m gonna come get you alright, we’ll get you to Matt’s house and he’ll look out for you, it’s gonna be okay, we’ll look after you, I always look out for my girls.”

More rustling, accompanied by more background talk.

“Just send me your location alright, I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

You nod your head, taking in the information and finding that your hands and body seem to relax with the knowledge that there is a resolution coming.

“Okay, okay, thank you, thank you, I love you.”

Maya’s like you, or at least you try to tell yourself that. She’s never had anyone who loved her, she’s all by herself. That’s what you tell yourself, that nobody’s ever loved you, that you’re all alone, she tells you the same. That nobody will love you like a good high, that your all alone, that you always will be. To start with, you thought it was all nonsense, that to her you were just a means of getting money, but after hearing it enough, after realising the truth behind her words, you thought it must be true, she was older than you, she’d seen more of the world than you had.

You stayed hunched over in the alleyway, ignoring the buzzing on your phone that meant your mother had realised you were gone. You felt a pang of compassion in your heart, just briefly. You didn’t want to worry her, you didn’t want to think about the anguish that would have crossed Leah’s face when she’d returned to your bedroom to find it empty, even worse if it was Jordan.

Consciously, you didn’t care, not really, all you cared about was the fucking high that you were missing out on. But the eight year old version of you, somewhere in the lowest pit of your heart felt horrifically bad.

It took fifteen minutes of you being hunched against a brick wall, hiding from the view of the street, shaking and shivering before you were hit with the light of headlights, coming from the end of the alleyway.

You stayed hidden, just in case it was your mother or somebody else, staying crouched down behind a bin.

“Babygirl, let’s go.”

You stood up properly, your body straightening out and beginning to walk towards the far to bright white lights.

You sat down in the passenger seat, closing the door behind you as swiftly as possible.

Maya captured you in a hug before you could do anything, her arms wrapping around your neck and torso.

“I’m so proud of you, you’re in good care, I’ll look out for you, me and Matt and the girls, you’re in good company.”

You nodded your head against her shoulder, slowly pulling yourself from her embrace.

Her pupils were dilated, your brain didn’t consider the danger behind her being high, more jealous that she was riding on a happy cloud that you were craving to be on.

The drive felt longer than it should have, your phone buzzed relentlessly the whole way there, it took everything in you not to look down and block the numbers that you knew were ringing, but you didn’t have it in you.

You didn’t like the feeling that hit your gut when you rolled up to the same house that you’d stumbled out of a couple nights ago, you loved Maya, you loved drugs, what you didn’t love was the overwhelming fear that you felt at having to face the same man who had done those horrible things to you days ago. Maya must have noticed, or seen something was up with you.

“Something wrong, darlin?”

She was 23, closer to your Mom’s age then yours, she cared about you.

“Matt, he didn’t want money for the drugs, he wanted something else.”

You expected, or you hoped that Maya would be shocked, but she wasn’t, not in the slightest.

“I think you’ll find babygirl that your body is the most powerful form of payment, men will do anything for a woman’s body, it’s good you learn that young. Matt provides a lot, drugs, care, a house, give him what he wants and he’ll treat you well.”

You stuttered on your words.

“W-what if I don’t want it?”

Maya put her hand on your cheek, squeezing firm enough to make it sting slightly.

“There is no such thing as not wanting it. We’re primal, we crave to be touched and wanted, he’s just teaching you that. It’s an eye for an eye. You get your high, he gets what he wants. It works out for everyone. He’s just trying to keep you safe, just trying to make you feel loved, it’s the only kind of love there is.”

In your core, in your brain, you know it’s untrue, Maya believes in what she’s saying though, or at least she appears to.

“Now c’mon, let’s get you upstairs, get you some artificial assistance.”

She pats you on the shoulder, before opening up the door on her side of the car and stepping out. You let go of the breath that you’d been holding in. Maya is like your big sister, she cares about you, she would never intentionally hurt you, she’s the only person who really gives a shit about you.

You open the car door without much more hesitation, having convinced yourself that she’s right, and more that once you shoot up that your brain will quiet down and all of your doubts will be silenced.

Maya leads you into the house, it’s a lot emptier than it was the other day, a lot less people sprinkled across all of the surfaces, instead there are a few girls and Matt, who’s right in the middle of all of them.

“Pretty girl, didn’t think I’d see you back so soon.”

He’s voice is drawling, slightly tilted.

You didn’t have anything to say that wouldn’t come off as rude, so you simply smiled at him, as well as you could considering the bile that was in your stomach just at the thought of the man in front of you.

“She got kicked out, needed some place to go, I told her there is always room for her here.”

Matt nodded and smiled, his hands were all over the women around him, you tried your hardest to keepy your eyes on his face and not the company he was keeping.

“Of course, I look out for my girls. You craving pretty girl? You need something?”

You nodded your head, hopefully, you were desperate, the emotional nature of what you’d just been through with your mother enough to be slowly pushing you towards the edge.

“Maya take her upstairs, the speed is in my bedside draw, I’ll be up in a bit.”

Maya smiled and nodded, grabbing you by the shoulder and pushing you towards the same stairs you’d stumbled down just a few days ago.

You tried not to feel completely daunted as you were tugged upstairs, your shaky legs carrying you the distance to the bedroom that you’d been in less than twenty for hours ago.

It was the same position, same place, same everything.

It was hard not to feel completely terrified.

Maya led you over to the bed, sitting you down whilst she rustled in the bedside table.

It was silent, calm, as peaceful as you could feel in your current situation, until your phone started buzzing again.

“Answer it, let them know you’re fine.”

You looked ay Maya like she was crazy, she sure seemed it.

“Excuse me?”

Maya looked up from her spot rustling through the drawer.

“They’ll leave you alone if you answer, let them know you’re fine and not dead in a ditch somewhere.”

You gulped, pulling your phone out of your pant pocket and looking at the flashing contact of your mom, your finger hesitating over the green button before clicking on it.

“Bubba? Bubba? Jord, she answered, I’ve got her.”

The exhale of relief that you heard leave your mom’s lips was one of pure happiness.

“Mom, please don’t ahte me, please don’t hate me.”

You could always deal with the thought or realisation that your mom didn’t love you, but having her hate you, it would do things to you that you couldn’t handle.

“Bubba where are you? I don’t hate you, I could never hate you, I love you so much bubba. Just let me know where you are, we’ll come get you, we’ll sort this out.”

Your mom sounded more desperate than you’d ever heard her.

“I’m okay mom, I’m okay, I’m safe.”

Another exhale of relief.

“Look bubba, all your aunties are out looking for you, me and Jord have been worried sick, just let me know where you are, please. I’m so worried about you bubba, look, just come home, we can figure out the drug stuff, me and mama will get you all the help you need, we’ll make it all better, just come home.”

It had been hardly two hours since you’d slipped out of your window, you didn’t want to know how stressed your mom would have gotten had it been six or twelve.

“Mom I know I did wrong, trust me, I know. But you want me to go to rehab, you want me to get better, and trust me I want it, but I can’t do it, please.”

You heard something being dropped and then a button being pressed.

“Chick, listen to me, your mom and I are worried sick, you need to come back home. We’ll sort it all out, we’ll get you the help you need, but you need to come home, just tell us where you are.”

The feeling of the rubber tourniquet being tied to your upper arm and a needle prodding at your vein distracted you slightly.

“Look mom, I’m in good company, I’m safe, I love you both but I can’t do rehab, I can’t do getting better, I’m not ready, I’m not strong enough for that, I’m not like you and mom, I can’t be strong and brave, I can’t tough it out when it gets hard. I just need you to love me from a distance and understand that I’m doing whats best for me.”

Maya looks on proudly, it feels like your saying things to appease her and that makes you feel good, the validation of having her smile at you and nod her head at you, it wasn’t love but it was something close, the closest you felt in a while.

“Bubba, listen to me. You are so strong, everything you’ve been through in your life, it’s nothing in comparison to this. You don’t need the drugs, you don’t. This isn’t you bubba.”

You think that deep down, Leah and Jordan have no idea who you are anymore. The injection into your bloodstream only solidifies those thoughts.

“This is me mom, this is who I am now. I was like you and jord’s perfect little child, your perfect girl but that’s not me anymore. I’m not the same kid, this is me.”

You swore you heard a sob, or sniffle from the other side of the line.

“Bubba, we’ll sort this out, just come back home, please.”

You shook your head, enjoying the feeling of your blood circulating the drugs that had just hit your system.

“I can’t do that mom’s, I love you, and I’m so grateful for you but I can’t come home, I just can’t mom, bye.”

Before either of them could reply to you, you pressed down on the hang up button, throwing your phone to the end of the bed and leaning back, letting the high begin to sink in.

The bed sunk down next to you, Maya’s arm snaking around your waist.

“Good job babygirl, I’m proud of you, you’ve got me, I’ll look out for you, I look out for all of my girls.”

If you were sane, you’d probably ask yourself the question of what kind of person looked out for their people by giving them drugs and subjecting them to sexual assault, but with the drugs running through your veins and the relief starting to hit your brain, you couldn’t find you in it to care.

“Feels good.”

Maya brought your head to her neck, it was warm, happy, nice.

“I know babygirl, feels so good doesn’t it?”

You nod your head, the bliss starting to really get to you, your whole body feeling the affects of it.

Everytime you get high you think it’ll last forever, that the overwhelming numb happiness will last permanently. Every time you shoot up, you think that maybe it’ll all get better, that the feeling you’ve been searching for, will finally set in. It doesn’t though.

You come to the conclusion that it must be a more pure solution, or more concentrated because it’s getting to your head a lot quicker than normal.

You don’t even notice when Matt slips into the room, too busy processing the overwhelming feeling of the drugs rushing through you. It’s good, it feels good, until the bed dips on the other side of you and a hand is on your waist.

Your body is too numb to try and fight back, even if you had the energy or will to, you doubt you’d be strong enough.

There are words being spoken around you, hands all over your body.

You can’t open your eyes, can’t even try to understand what is happening to you.

You bite down on your lip, as your pants are tugged down.

You dissasociate it, disassociate the hands on you, dissasociate the feeling of being violated, enjoy the fact that the mixture of the drugs in your system and pain coming from your lip manage to be enough to distract from the pain being inflicted on you.

It’s primal, it’s an eye for an eye, it’s a form of payment.

Some time during the process, you drift off, whether it’s from the drugs or pain you aren’t sure, you just know that the sweet mixture of the meth seems to be enough.

You wake up with an arm around you, your silently terrified to open your eyes and find out who, but you’re also in pain and a little bit too curious for your own good. You’re grateful that the hands are Maya’s, it’s a small win. Your head is still dazed, it feels good, but you’re itching for something, itching for more.

“Hey babygirl.”

It’s light outside, it has of been a couple of hours and based on the pain between your legs you don’t want to know what’s happened in the couple of hours you’ve been unconscious.

“You feeling a bit better?”

You nod your head, focusing in on the daze and not the itch across your body and the pain your experiencing.

“You’ve been such a good girl for Matt and I, doing exactly how we pleased, we’re so proud of you.”

It’s the kind of praise you’ve been searching for months. Growing up, for your mom’s, you’d always been the perfect child, a pathological people pleaser. You’d always been told you were independent, in the end though it had all just been loneliness. You grew up to quickly, from the moment you were in foster care, passed around like a piece of trash, there was no option but for you to be lonely. Then you moved in with Jordan and Leah, and they had each other, you were still alone. You didn’t allow for yourself to make mistakes, you had a chance with them, if you were anything less than perfect then how could they want you? You were a student, a star athlete, polite, a perfectionist to your core. You took on all of the burden during the breakup, you were there for both of your mom’s through it all, yet you were the one who was always at the brunt of their anger and discontent. You weren’t worthy of their love, not when the perfect child stopped being perfect because of the pressure, because of the self-hatred that had manifested inside of you since the first people to show you love had broken apart, leaving you empty on the inside.

You blamed yourself for a lot of it, Leah and Jordan had been fine before you, it was like as soon as you entered their life it was just a ticking time bomb, you wrecked everything, you were a semi truck that drove through people, pulled everyone and everything in it’s way a part.

Maya knew how it felt, she’d broken people a part, she knew what it felt like to be all alone, she’d taught you that it was okay, that it was okay to be lonely.

She cared about you, she understood you, she wanted you.

“More, need more.”

She looked into your eyes and you felt understood, like she knew exactly what you were going through and knew how to patch up and fix all of your problems.

“Alright babygirl, just give me a second and we’ll get you juiced up, huh? You deserve it, you’ve been such a perfect girl for us.”

Maya removed her body from yours, reaching over to the bedside table, rummaging through it the same way she did last night.

Your body was still vibrating with the endorphins, the dopamine was filling your head, replacing everything in you that felt dead and broken, it felt so good, it was the feeling that you craved, the reason that you’d given everything else up, because it made you feel more content and fulfilled then anything else.

You were scared of losing it, scared of losing touch with the feeling that you were relying on.

You craved her praise, craved the drugs, craved the nothingness that came from having everything around you turn into nothing, all of the feelings, all of the struggle, all the pain and suffering turned into dust.

It was what made your life worth living, without the high you didn’t think your life would even remotely worth living for, you had nothing, you had nobody, you were alone.

Maya was quicker with her mannerisms, she knew what she was doing.

You’d never seen her do needles before the last twenty four hours, but you also weren’t that shocked. She had the tracks along her arms, the attitude that seemed like she could. She was the one who’d introduced you to drugs, it had started with a bit of pot, then coke, then heroin, then any pill that you could find and eventually, speed.

You’d been tentative at first, speed was more addictive than any other drug, speed did bad things to a body, methamphetamines were a druggies worst enemy. You’d met cokeheads and some of the most addicted heroin junkies and yet plenty of them had told you that they would never touch meth, that it was too intoxicating.

Meth took control of a persons body, penetrated the system faster than most drugs, meth got into your head, it changed a person for the worse.

You wanted that though, you were seeking for that. You were seeking for something to take control of you, something to change you, something to change the way your brain was wired.

It felt so good, you’d never been into needles either, avoided them like they were the plague, but with the plastic tourniquet strapped onto your arm and the cold point of the needle pressing against your inner arm.

It was the best feeling in the world, the best feeling known to man.

You felt like you were on the peak of Mount Everest, like you were unstoppable.

It was the same feeling you’d once gotten from just being in a room with your moms, the same feeling you’d gotten after a good game of football, the same feeling you’d gotten out of getting a good mark back on a test.

A while ago, a time that you don’t like to think about anymore, it all came naturally. Your body did hunger for that kind of attention because it received it naturally, it didn’t have to worry about when the next burst of serotonin would come. You didn’t have to create your own sensation, like you do now, you didn’t have to put yourself on a constant calendar to keep yourself sane, to make sure that you stayed happy enough to stay alive.

You didn’t think about the fact that you’d shot up a couple of hours ago, that you’re body was only just now learning to absorb intravenous drugs, that you were more dosed up then you had been in your entire life and now you were adding gasoline to the fire inside of you, you didn’t care, all you wanted was for this feeling to keep lasting, for the pain in your stomach from everything that you knew had happened but couldn’t recollect to be numbed by the drugs that you were craving.

You felt alive when the needle pressed into your arm, it made you feel like you were unstoppable, enlightened, like nothing could stop you. It was a strak contrast to how you felt when you were sober, when you were sober, you felt like the weight of the world was resting on your shoulders, that you were responsible for all the people that were around you and if you failed them then you were no better than the little traumatised girl that had been handed to your moms all those years ago.

You tried to ignore the odd chest pain that set in as the drugs mixed in with your blood, or tried your very best at least, it was hard though, when the initial pain started to turn into a skin splitting sensation you tried your best to pay no mind to it.

It was odd, you figured it might be a new effect you were unearthing, needles gave a different high in comparison to your normal, it was understandable that their would be different effects.

For the first time though, in a long time, you weren’t overcome with the near overwhelming relief that normally flooded you, the pain in your chest was to strong, instead of your heart slowing, your pain subsiding and all the thoughts quieting down, it felt like you were going into overdrive, hyperaware of everything that resided inside of you. Your chest was hurting, your heart was beating at a abnormally fast pace and your brain hurt, like it was rattling around inside of your head, bruising the inside of your skull and cracking it into pieces as every second passed.

“Maya, maya.”

It was a croak, yourr eyes being forced open as you took sharp, short breaths.

“You’re okay babygirl, deep breaths, it’ll feel good any minute.”

Except it wasn’t feeling good and it was feeling worse as every second passed. Your skin was prickly, hot and red and burning all over, your heart felt like it was beating faster than it had ever before and everything about how you were feeling felt so inexplicably wrong.

“Not good, not good, not good.”

Maya’s hand was on your face, patting at you like you were a dog, like you were a pet to her.

“Ride it out, you’ve got it babygirl, it’ll pass.”

It wasn’t passing though, it wasn’t, nothing about how you felt was passing at all.

You could feel your control of your body start to fade, you didn’t understand how or why, you didn’t understand what was happening, you knew though that whatever this was, whatever you’d taken or been given, it wasn’t good. It felt like poison inside of you, slowly taking control of every thing inside of you, like something was eating you up from the inside, as every moment surpassed.

You wanted to think that it was going to be fine, that you were just experiencing some kind of heightened high from the buildup in your system, but there was something overwhelmingly odd and wrong about how you felt, it was real, realer than any drugs had made you feel.

Drugs were artificial, and they made you feel artificially happy, or numb, somewhere between those two. Drugs had never made you feel real and tangible, like you were more of a human than anybody else, but right now, you felt more personified then you ever had, like you were so synched with your body that it was too much, too much feelings, too much pain, to much of everything.

You struggled to get out anymore words, between the feeling of your heart beating the speed of light and your chest being too tight for any oxygen to enter your airway.

You supposed she got the message when your body started to shake, your eyes rolling into the back of your skull as your body struggled to cope.

You heard her scream, felt her pick up your body, in blinks of your eyes you made out the staircase, the entryway, Matt in your line of sight.

You get traded into his arms, arms that make you feel tense and uncomfortable, something your body seems to react to because the tremors or seizures, or whatever the fuck your experiecing only worsens.

You blink in and out of consciousness as you’re taken from the house, into the backseat of somebody’s car, Maya and Matt seated in the front, murmuring to each other as you violently shook in the backseat, your consciousness fading as your body became less connected to you.

You weren’t sure where you were going, where drug addicts thought it was a good idea to take a person fucked up out of their minds, you hoped it wasn’t back to your mothers, or rehab, you seriously doubted the latter considering that two addicts themselves were more likely to take you to a fucking graveyard instead of rehab.

You knew neither of them were talking to you, just talking between the two of them, you hoped they were getting you some kind of help, that the two of them would stick by you and find you some help, Maya loved you, Maya was the only person who cared, she would get you help, she would stop this feeling, she would fix it.

You couldn’t see, you couldn’t control your body, you couldn’t feel any sensations across your skin beside the burning created by the lack of oxygen being circulated throughout you. It was like the drugs were slowly infiltrating every part of you, that the veins which mapped out your body underneath your skin were being pumped full of the toxic substance that you’d been so desperate to fill yourself with.

It must have been a bad reaction, or something you’d taken was laced, probably with fentanyl or something that was mixing badly, fentanyl was renowned for being one of the worst things to combine with meth, opioids and stimulants were bad together, it was probably the two forms mixing together inside of you, creating a horrible chemical concoction of reactions inside of you.

You couldn’t keep yourself awake for most of the car ride, there were patches of consciousness, patches where your eyes would open just for them to close once again.

You were awake when the car stopped, not awake enough to catch a glimpse of where you’d stopped at but awake enough to hear the car engine turn still on. The passenger door opened, then footsteps, then the backseat door beside you opened.

Maya picked you up, or at least that’s who you thought had your arms around you, your eyes were forced shut so you didn’t have any confirmation.

A few steps were taken, fast ones, and then she was squatting like she intended to put you down, and then she did.

You didn’t know how or why or where, you just knew that it was cold, there was rain drizzling down on your face, your body was shaking more than ever and you could hear the footsteps getting further and further away from you, then the sound of a car door being opened and shut and the car pulling away.

You were in agony, there was no other way to put it.

You’d been abandoned before, it was nothing new for you, it only reinforced the idea that you were simply incapable of keeping people in your life, nobody wanted you long term, you weren’t made for long term love, you were like a toy to a child. Fun and entertaining for a short amount of time, before you were forgotten and then eventually, thrown away.

You passed out before you could think more about the toy comparison, cold, alone and forgotten.

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lessirussolvr · 2 days

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Cub and Älskling

Mapi Leon x Ingrid Engen x Child!Reader (Cub)

Fridolina Rolfö x Child!Reader (Cub) x Älskling

Summary: You meet Frido's Älskling

The baby is very little.

She's small and cute and is cradled very tightly in Frido's arms.

You stare at her, eyes not moving as she wiggles around. Her eyes are wide as she stares back at you.

You lean closer and her little hand is free of her blankets.

She punches you in the face, right in the nose.

You gasp.

"Mami," You say, turning to look at her," She's so cool!"

Mami laughs in disbelief. "Cool, huh? She just punched you."

"Yeah!" You nod frantically," And I'm bigger than her! She's so cool! Is she your baby Tia Frido?"

Frido shakes her head. "She's my baby sister. I like to call her Älskling."

"Hi, Älskling," You say before gasping again," She smiled at me! Ingrid, did you see? She smiled at me!"

"She must like you, Cub," Ingrid says," You're very likeable."

"I know," You reply," But Mami says babies are difficult sometimes. It's good that she likes me."

You've been waiting for ages to meet Tia Frido's little sister. You weren't at training the day the rest of the team met her.

Ingrid had to send you to nursery that day because it was picture day and Mami really wanted a fancy picture of you.

It made you a little sad to not meet Älskling then but you're happy you can meet her at your house. She keeps looking at you and smiling and you smile back.

She looks really cool and Frido sets her on the floor to explore there. She can't crawl just yet but she can sit up and look around.

She reaches for you and you shuffle closer.

"Careful, cub," Mami says," Remember, Älskling's only little. You must use gentle hands like with Bagheera."

You nod very seriously and get closer again, sitting on your knees. You've got the magic wiggles but you're trying to keep them at bay because you don't want to scare Älskling.

You give her your hand and she wraps a whole hand around one of your fingers. You stare at her, mouth slightly hanging open as she lets go of you.

She grunts, hand curling into a fists as she punches your finger.

You giggle, wiggling a little bit on your knees in excitement.

"She keeps punching me!" You tell no one in particular," She's so cool! Can we keep her, Tia Frido?"

Frido grins triumphantly. "I knew you'd be on my side! But, sadly, she has to go back to Sweden at some point. She lives with my parents. I'd have to kidnap her if she stayed here."

"That's okay," You tell her," You can stay here. Älskling can sleep in my room and you can sleep in bed with Mami and Ingrid!"

Mapi turns pale at that thought.

"I think it would be better if Älskling stayed with her parents, cub."

You flash her a disgruntled look. "Älskling's my new best friend," You say," She can't leave!"

"Don't worry," Frido says," I'll be making sure she comes to visit a lot."

You nod. "Good because she's my new best friend and I want to show her everything."

That sparks an idea in you and you hurry off to your toy crate. You didn't use to have one until Ingrid moved in, took one look at the messy apartment and came back with little crates and storage bins to put things in.

You kind of like your toy crate now because all of them are in the exact same place and you know where to put them when you're done playing - though Ingrid has to remind you a lot to actually put them back in the crate.

You grab a few things you think will interest Älskling like your yellow digger and your magnifying glass. You snatch your løve (lion) from the sofa as well and crowd into Älskling's space again.

She's smiling again and making little giggly sounds as Frido tickles her.

"Here, Älskling," You say, placing your yellow digger next to her. You demonstrate how it moves before showing her the magnifying glass. She seems more interested in that than anything else so you let her hold it.

She's got a very good grip and lifts the toy up to her face before putting it in her mouth. You giggle when she pulls a face at the taste but then sticks it right back into her mouth.

"She's silly," You tell Ingrid," But still fun!"

"You were silly," Ingrid tells you.

"But not now."

She laughs. "But not now."

You keep your distance from Älskling for a little bit, playing by Frido's feet with Bagheera and your digger. You let your magic wiggles all run out before you're up on your feet again and ask the question you've wanted to ask since Frido arrived.

"Can I hold her?"

"Say please, Cub," Ingrid prompts and you correct yourself.

"Can I hold her, please?"

"Of course!" Frido says, tapping the spot next to her," Let's get you comfortable."

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lessirussolvr · 2 days

Text

Abandoned?

Warnings: Injury, serious chest injury, ambulance, hospitals, parental abandonment, mentions of death. A/N: In this fic the most recent international break was friendlies… This was a request from someone on wattpad.

It was the 25th minute when Fox kicked a ball, unfortunately for you it came hurtling towards you and before you could move out of the way it crash into your chest, the sound of the ball connecting with your upper torso reverberated through the stadium as you collapsed to the ground from the force, you immediately grabbed your chest as you rolled around the pitch clearly in agony, medics from both teams were on the pitch before the game was paused, there was no time to waste.

Your chest felt tight, it felt like someone squeezed your heart every time it beat, you could almost feel bubbles ‘pop’ in your chest, and your chest heaved with every breath as you struggled to get air in, whilst also feeling incredible pain every time you sucked in the slightest bit of air.

The stadium was dead silent, it was like there wasn’t a single soul there. And when the ref finally blew the whistle after what felt like hours, the ambo cart immediately raced its way across the pitch to where you laid, surrounded by medics. Sheets were quickly brought onto the pitch and held up around you by various training staff of both teams to provide some protection against the various cameras that surrounded you, an announcement was made informing all media to seize action of cameras however that wouldn’t have stopped the public from trying to get photos.

Leah felt time slow down when you hit the pitch, she felt her body freeze, she was standing there staring at the spot you laid surrounding my medics, and paramedics, she didn’t know what to feel, it was almost like her body had forgotten to feel. All your fellow teammates stood there watching her, not knowing whether they should go over to her or not, however when they saw the sheets being brought out they knew it was bad, it basically never happened. Lucy started to make her way over to their Skipper, Kiera and Georgia followed behind her, knowing Leah needed support in this moment. They watched her fall to her knees as announcement was made, leaning forward, burying her face into the grass, her shoulders shook harshly as sobs wracked her body. A circle was formed around them by the USWNT as they tried to comfort Leah. Leah had absolutely broken down, she didn't know how to feel, she was just hoping, praying for dear life that they weren't resuscitating you behind those sheets. You lived with Leah, spending almost every second of every day with her, she didn't know what would happen, how she would cope if you left her.

Diagonally across the pitch from the circle, stood Lotte, who had her arms around Fox, the American cried into her shoulder, he body shook as her fellow arsenal teammates tried to comfort her, reassuring her that this wasn't her fault and that it would be okay.

A paramedic was running over to the crowd and waved a man down who was brought onto the pitch, he was one of the Trauma Doctors at St Mary’s and just happened to watching the game with his family on his day off, “Update us” he said as he made his way through the sheets with the paramedic, “pulse is thready, bpm of 163, clear respiratory distress, muffled chest sounds, GCS score unattainable,” “c-spine collar,” you were placed into a neck brace, “prep for an on field thoracostomy,” someone said, before your jersey was cut off and the cold air hit your skin as they disinfected the area, “this is going to hurt, stabilise her,” you felt a knife cut into you and you moaned out in pain, before something was stuck in your chest, and an oxygen mask was placed over your face, you felt a pair of hands leave your body, and heard the sound of heavy boots crunch in the wet cool grass, indicating someone was running somewhere.

—

“Ready for transfer,” there was a silence, “on my count, 1,2,3,” your body was held straight as you were tipped on your side, the movement causing you to feel slightly dizzy and you could almost hear bugs in your ears, something hard and cold was placed against your back “and 1,2,3,” you were tipped onto your back again, now lying on the backboard, as the foam blocks were placed next to your head and secured your world started to go a little hazy, as someone readjusted the tube that was stuck in your chest.

“Stay with us y/n,” you tried to open your eyes further but you couldn’t and suddenly everything went black.

________

“And the parents are on their way? Or so I’ve heard,” you faintly heard someone say as they stood outside your room. You had just woken up, and everything was still slightly hazy.

You quickly came to at those words, you eyes widened, and you felt your chest start to get tight again, your heart pounded, you were shaking, your breath was ragged, “I-I don’t want to see them,” you stammered out as you shook your head, and tears started to fall from your eyes, Leah didn’t know ones heart could break so many times in one day but here she was, feeling her heart break for at least the second time. She quickly got up so she could be closer to you, taking your hands in hers, “No baby,” she shook her head, face etched with pain, no matter how much you hated your parents, she knew this was going to hurt. “It’s not them anymore, they, they,” she let out a heavy sigh, “they gave you up, they signed away their rights. When they got the call, they said that it wasn’t their duty to make the decisions or to take care of you, they, they said they didn’t want to be associated with you, they came to the hospital, purely to sign the papers to give away their guardianship,” Leah watched as a range of emotions crossed your face, you couldn’t believe it, yes they had already kicked you out and you barely spoke. But this was different. This was something else. This was complete abandonment, they didn’t want anything to do with you anymore. “I’m sorry baby, I’m so so sorry, I-” Leah was cut off my the loud alarm sounding on the monitor, your panic had caused your heart rate to get to high and your oxygen levels too low, your chest heaved with every breath again, and you could feel it burn as oxygen entered your lungs, but that pain was nothing, nothing could ever compare to the feeling of being disowned legally by your parents. Knowing they travelled all the way to the hospital, just to sign a piece of paper to say they didn't love you anymore.

You had just finished facetiming Kyra, Steph and Caitlin, when you turned your head to face Leah, who was sitting in the chair near your bed, her face seemed serious as she read something on her phone.

“We aren’t playing Bristol City,” she suddenly announced “well obviously,” you rolled your eyes at her, “no like the club isn’t, they forfeited,” “oh,” you paused for a minute, “I want to see Emily,” you blurted out, the thought having been circling your mind for the last however long.

“I don’t think that is the best idea, B-” “But why? It’s not her fault, she did nothing wrong,” “That’s not the reason why bubs, Emily is struggling at the moment, she knows it wasn’t her fault, but she feels like it is, because she kicked the ball, she didn't mean to hit you, but she does feel guilty, she feels like she just shouldn’t have kicked the ball.” You nodded your head, and picked up your phone, scrolling through instagram, when you came across statements from both Arsenal and England.

An update from the England Lionesses: Y/N is in a stable condition, she is awake and talking. Her recovery will be in the hands of her club and we wish her all the best. We ask that out of respect for the players and those involved that no photos or videos taken during/after the incident are shared, these players are people too and deserve privacy. We are thankful for all our fans' support and apologise for the abandonment of the match, all tickets will be refunded.

Arsenal WFC have released a statement: After discussions with our players, staff, Bristol City and the FA we have come to the decision that we will be forfeiting our next fixture in the WSL against Bristol City, we understand what this decision means and how it affects our position in the table however we must keep our players wellbeing at the forefront during this time period and in no way would it be fair or right of us to ask any of our players to play a match in the coming days. The incident involving y/n has affected every single one of our players deeply and we want to be able to take the next few days to focus on their wellbeing and health, something we could not do if we were to have a game. We would like to reassure the public that y/n is in safe hands and is in a stable condition.

As you finished reading the statement from Arsenal you felt your bottom lip start to quiver, you looked over to Leah who was once again looking at her phone, “I’m sorry,” “for what?” she softly asked, “for scaring everyone, I-I didn’t mean to,” you quietly spoke as soft tears fell from your eyes, “hey, hey, none of that, it wasn’t anyone's fault okay, we all just care about you and want to make sure you’re okay,” she reassured you as she moved to sit with you in the bed, “okay” you said as you moved to lean your head back on her shoulder, “I love you so much, we all do, never forget that,”

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lessirussolvr · 2 days

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Rush Pt. 6 | Alexia Putellas x Jenni Hermoso x Leila Ouahabi x Reader

Summary: No summaries, we die like lesbians.

Tags: Polyamory, group sex, voyeurism, fingering, teasing, dom/sub undertones, anal sex, strap sex, face-fucking, cunnilingus, degradation

A/N: Thanks to my sweet angel beans @wileys-russo and @acornsquish <3 I'm so nervous about this. Please be kind.

Read Part One here Read Part Two here Read Part Three here Read Part Four here Read Part Five here

18+ minors and men do not interact

"Good," She breathed, pressing her cock inside and grinning at your sharp gasp. "I want her to see this."

Jenni rolled her hips slowly, pressing her hands into the mattress by your waist. By the fifth gentle thrust, you were thinking back. Her hair was darker now, onyx black versus the brown she used to sport. Her left arm was littered with tiny tattoos where you used to stroke bare skin.

Still, when she leaned in to kiss you it felt the same.

You could feel her smile against your lips, her infectious grin limiting just how filthy she could make it. Honestly, if it wasn’t for Leila’s hands squeezing your breasts, you probably would have made it through.

As it were, you broke the kiss to tip your head back against her legs with a breathy moan. Jenni was quick to latch on to your neck, working her way down until she could see how Leila played with you. Her hands cradled your tits, thumbs brushing back and forth over sensitive nipples.

She was all too happy to abandon one, letting Jenni kiss at the soft skin and wrap her lips around your nipple. The striker's hips didn’t stop moving when she swirled her tongue around it, when her teeth teased, nor when she sucked.

“Fuck!” You breathed, tightening around her cock.

Leila’s spare hand moved up. She pushed your hair back, stroking stray strands behind your ears and smoothing over your forehead with her thumb. “Doesn’t she fuck you well, bebé?”

You looked up, meeting Leila’s dark eyes as Jenni sent shivers down your spine. “Uh huh.”

“You’re beautiful. So pretty taking her.” Leila cradled your cheek as Jenni pulled back, pinching at your wet nipple just to hear you gasp.

Jenni grinned down at you, settling on her knees and quickening her pace just a fraction.

You smiled right back, twisting your head to kiss at Leila’s palm. Her thumb tapped your bottom lip, dragging at it as you looked up at her. “Want something in here?”

Rolling your hips against Jenni’s measured thrusts, you were acutely aware of the other set of eyes on you. You knew the sharpness you’d see if you just glanced towards her. The way she’d be watching so closely.

The power of it was heady.

Your grin stretched as you let out a pleasured sighed and nodded up at Leila.

Her thumb toyed with your bottom lip until your tongue snaked out to lick at it. She always let you set the pace, holding still while you kissed the tip before taking it between your lips.

Jenni’s satisfied groan was punctuated by her fingers teasing at your clit again, gentle circles in tandem with her thrusts.

You squirmed, wrapping your legs around her waist to pull her deeper as you sucked Leila’s thumb down to her palm. Her gaze stayed on your hollowed cheeks, bright smile making the sides of her eyes crinkle.

“Fuck, yes,” Jenni growled, speeding up her fingers until you moaned around Leila’s. “Good girl, letting us fill up your holes.”

Leila hummed, watching you suck up and down while her other hand cupped your breast. “The most perfect little slut, aren’t you?” Her fingertips pinched the peak of your nipple until you squirmed. “You like that?”

You nodded, glancing down as Jenni pressed your thighs up until you were spread out for her. “You feel so good on my cock, cari.”

“When Jenni’s done with your pussy, maybe we can show them just how much of a slut you really are,” Leila teased.

Jenni grinned, “How?”

“Yeah, bebé. How?” Leila pulled her thumb from your mouth with a wet pop, spreading the wetness over your lips before humming expectantly.

You giggled, pecking at her fingers, then her hand. All the while your hips rocked against Jenni’s as she filled you over and over.

“No?” Leila purred, stroking along your neck to knead at your shoulders. Her touch was addictive. “So you don’t want them to see how hard you come when I fuck your ass?”

Your cheeks heated as your core clenched tight around the toy, “Maybe.”

“Maybe?” Leila grinned down, letting her hands caress your arms before cradling your face. “Gonna let me inside your tight little hole? Show them who owns it after they’ve both had a turn in your pussy?”

You whined, both at the thought and at the pleasure Jenni gave.

Leila slipped her thumb back between your lips, swearing quietly as you sucked her down. “Does that sound good, bebé? I’ll make sure all your pretty holes get used tonight.”

Jenni settled in your cunt, her fingers on your clit keeping you dancing the line of pleasure.

With a disgruntled noise, you pulled off of Leila’s finger, looking up at the striker.

“Do it. I want to watch now.” Jenni looked over to Leila.

“I’ll need a strap.”

“Alexia, get her a strap.”

There was quiet, just the gentle sighs you let out and the shift as you worked your hips against Jenni’s hand. You turned your head at the same time as she did.

Alexia’s piercing glare was unfairly attractive when she met Jenni’s head on.

“Alexia. Get her a strap. Now.” Jenni repeat, with just the slightest hint of a threat. Her fingers rubbing over your clit made you keen softly.

The captain’s eyes flickered to you. You’d seen that look before, the strength of her backbone when she followed refs around the pitch and argued her case in vibrant Spanglish. “I was still, no? My hands did not move.”

“They didn’t,” Jenni agreed, “so now you can put them to good use and get her a strap.”

Alexia’s brow furrowed, “I was good.”

“Be good again.”

“No! Tu diji-” “Alexia, move.” Jenni hissed, hardening her tone.

Alexia's nostrils flared as her neck jutted. "Eso es-"

"If the next word out of your mouth is in Spanish, you won't touch either of them for the rest of the night."

Alexia rolled her eyes, and you briefly wondered if she had no sense of self-preservation at all. Jenni's cool glare was rivalled only by her own.

It took a long beat of stillness before Alexia shifted. She shuffled, sliding off the bed and over to the suitcase while keeping her pouting aimed at Jenni.

The striker, on the other hand, turned her attention back to you, pulling out slowly. You let out a shuddery breath, squirming a little as the pleasure that had built up bled away.

Jenni leaned down quickly to peck at your lips. “Shh. I’ll make you come after. Put on a good show with Leila for me, sí?”

“Sí,” You smiled back, stroking along the leanness of her torso before she slipped out from between your legs.

Leila pulled your attention with a soft hand tracing your face. “Up bebé.” With a little effort through tired muscles, you sat up and quickly turned around.

She made herself comfortable before letting you slot in beside her, face to face with a pillow under your ear. You reached for her instantly, feeling the tan skin of her neck, her shoulder, her side.

“Hey,” Leila grinned, leaning in to peck your lips sweetly.

“Hi,” You breathed back.

There was no thought to kissing Leila. She was familiar. You met each other pass for pass, hands wandering aimlessly.

The shift was a natural progression. One minute you were sucking along her bottom lip, the next your front was tight against hers. Your legs tangled, entwining until you could press your thigh between her own.

Leila let out the most dizzying groan, cradling your face at the first slow grind of her hips. She was hot and slick, sliding smoothly across your tense muscle.

You could hear Alexia and Jenni’s quiet mutterings, but paid them little mind when Leila pulled back. Her eyes scrunched as the smile spread across her face. She was so pretty up close.

Her hand trailed along your side and down to the curve of your back. She held you tight, keening at the flex of your thigh between hers.

One more peck, then Leila glanced over your shoulder. You watched her happy gaze turn hungry before curiosity got the better of you.

Jenni stood, Alexia knelt, the captain’s head cradled in the striker’s hands, working hollow cheeks up and down the strap. The strap that had just been inside you.

If it were possible, Leila pulled you even closer. Her lips pressed against your jaw before she whispered, “She just can’t get enough of you, can she?”

Part of you didn’t want to look away, but in that moment, the way Leila was grinding herself against you was far more important.

You turned back, holding her a little more firmly against your leg.

After letting out her token loud moan, she breathed a private thing for just the two of you; “You’re so hot with them, bebé. I love watching you.”

“I love you.”

“I love you.” Leila grinned mischievously, “Jenni asked for a show, no?”

“You getting off on my thigh isn’t enough?”

“It’s good, but I thought maybe something else...” Leila’s eyes flickered over your shoulder before she leaned in conspiratorially. “It’s sexy when she’s jealous.”

Nodding, you brushed your nose against hers and tried to ignore the wet noises from across the room. “You’re mean.”

“Not to you.” Leila’s hand shifted, squeezing at your ass before curving towards the inside of your thigh.

“Lei,” You sighed as her fingers nudged up against your cunt.

“Can you take more?”

You were aching for more since Jenni had left you high and dry.

“Where do you want me?” Leila grunted playfully, though you both knew where it was headed. Her fingers swiped through your wetness before pushing up against your second hole. “Here?”

You squirmed, burrowing your head down into her neck and opening your legs a fraction to give her better access. “Want to let me stretch out your ass until it can take my cock?”

Humming, you pressed quick kisses against her skin.

“You sure?”

That time you nodded, grateful for her ever-cautious approach even after months of doing more or less whatever she wanted to your body.

“Want them to see.” You murmured.

“Sí, of course you do, you’re perfect. So perfect for me.” Leila’s wet fingers pressed teasingly at your rim. “Up. On your knees.”

You immediately missed her heat when you pulled your thigh from between her legs. The few seconds it took for you to press up to all-fours were ample time to take in the way Jenni fucked her girlfriend’s face. Her hand was fisted in Alexia’s hair, holding her still while her hips thrust the toy into her mouth.

Jenni glanced up at your movement, meeting your eye with an unfairly attractive grunt.

You could feel Leila shifting her weight behind you. She palmed the soft skin of your ass a few times before spreading it. The sound which left your mouth when she pressed her tongue against your asshole was bordering on humiliating. Your pussy clenched around nothing, aching at the way she teased your rim.

“You’ve been trying new things, zorrita.” Jenni chuckled from across the room, her smirk growing as you whined at the sensation.

Leila hummed against your skin before pulling back to rub a slick finger against it. “She takes it so well, don’t you? You like getting your ass fucked?”

The flush she brought to your cheeks had you squirming.

“That’s what I thought. Let’s show the girls how good you are for me.”

Leila was always gentle when she played with your ass. Her spare hand slipped down to stroke at your clit lightly while her finger loosened up your hole with rocking pressure, never pushing in, just against.

“Lei.” You whined, dropping down to your elbows for a more comfortable position. It also allowed you to turn your head and watch Jenni unclip herself, stepping out her strap before threading a hand back through her girlfriend’s hair. There was a little shuffle, the shift of Jenni’s weight, then the guiding of Alexia’s mouth back between her legs.

Jenni’s head tipped back. She breathed a gentle sigh before her eyes fluttered shut.

The sparks of pleasure from your clit distracted from the way Leila’s fingertip dipped inside. She was efficient, working it deeper and deeper until you could feel her knuckle against your skin. Your pussy tightened with every gentle thrust as she worked, dripping down to where her other hand slid across your clit.

Leila met your whiny sounds with soothing ones of her own, kissing every bit of skin available to her.

By the time she lined a second finger alongside the first, Jenni was letting out the prettiest little grunts. You watched for a while, enjoying the rock of her hips and the wet noises Alexia’s tongue made against her heat. When you felt Leila’s second finger stretching deep, you twisted around to watch.

Leila was quick to meet your gaze, grinning proudly before sitting back on her haunches. “One more. Then I’ll give it to you.”

“Hurry up,” You muttered quietly, “I can take it.”

“I know you can,” A third finger nudged against your hole. “Always ready for me, aren’t you? Especially here?"

Her third finger pulsed gently against your hole while her other fingers slid in and out until it was loose enough to work inside. The stretch was delicious.

You turned to shake the kink out of your back. Jenni was close. You could tell by the rapid buck of her hips and how Alexia groaned her approval. You’d seen her come so many times from close up. With just a little space, you admired much more. The strain of her neck when it tipped back, the tremble which ran through powerful thighs, the silence before she breathed out an impassioned curse.

Leila’s fingers pushed in and out of your ass through the whole thing.

“Now. Lei, I’m ready.” You hummed, not once looking away from Jenni’s come down.

Her grip slackened in Alexia’s hair, stroking back strands before pushing her away completely. Jenni was quick to take a knee, cradling Alexia’s face while she murmured Spanish too softly for you to distinguish.

“So needy.” Leila's soft lips pressed up against your lower back.

You knew she was just teasing, so took the gentle tap of her fingers against your clit with a muffled keen.

She pulled out slowly. “Jen?” Leila called, breaking whatever spell the other two were wrapped up in. “Strap?”

You sat back on your heels, leaning into her heat.

Jenni was slow to move, taking in the image of you together before turning back to her girlfriend. “Give it to her and I'll let you watch.”

Alexia narrowed her eyes, but her breathless pant took the sting out of her attitude. She reached to her side, grabbing one off the floor before Jenni pulled her from stiff knees to standing.

You reached out first, open palmed and relishing in the tiniest slither of power you might have held over her.

“Thanks.” You breathed as she robotically placed it in your hand. Perhaps a kiss would have been more suiting given the circumstances, but Leila’s front pressed up against your back was a gentle reminder of what she wanted. You wanted that too.

Rather than stretch up to peck Alexia, you took the strap from her and turned to Leila instead, twisting in her arms and catching her lips with yours. Perhaps the way you moaned against her was a little theatrical, but it was always easy. You wanted them to see how quickly she could make you fall apart, how much you craved her, how well you fit together.

Just like they did.

In between filthy kisses and desperate keens, you both wrangled the strap against her, ignoring the way the bed dipped and more skin slid against your own.

You could feel Leila’s grin against your lips. She pulled away with a final peck, leaning over to dismantle parts of her pillow mountain and build them into the perfect hump in the middle of the bed for you. You could feel other eyes on you, but the flutter in your stomach meant you didn’t feel quite ready to meet them.

No sooner had Leila finished than she turned and pushed you face-first.

“Lei!” You giggled, shimmying your hips until they were well positioned.

“Comfy, sí?”

Wrapping your arms around a pillow which smelled so distinctly like her, you agreed. “Sí.”

Leila shifted behind, swinging a leg over your own and steadying herself with a hand against your back. Your eyes wandered up to where Jenni had slid in between Alexia and the headboard, then to the handful of toys she unloaded. The striker's hands ran teasingly over her girlfriend’s thighs. You deliberately avoided Alexia’s stare, instead looking straight past her to where Jenni beamed at you.

You broke away first, burrowing your head into the pillow when slick fingers pressed into your hole again. Leila was so careful, checking over and over that you could take her digits with relative ease. Then, the blunt head of her toy pressed against your entrance.

“Don’t be shy, cari. I want to see your face when she fills up your ass.” Jenni snarked from above.

You rolled your eyes, but there was no getting away from the eventuality.

Leila’s lips pressed against your shoulder blade, then the back of your neck. There was a little pressure, but she was too careful to let it open you up properly. “Come on, mi amor,” She murmured against your skin, “Let me see you?”

She was a hard person to say no to.

You peeped out, twisting your body until she could peck your lips.

“In?” She breathed.

You nodded back, arching just the tiniest bit. Leila held your gaze. You knew it was only a matter of time.

Sure enough, the slightest increase in pressure against your asshole had her breaking your eye contact. Leila liked to watch, especially the first time she pushed her cock inside. Her large hand groped at your asscheek, spreading even wider so she could see clearly.

Just the tip first. The stretch beyond that which her fingers had provided.

You liked watching her too. The raise of her eyebrow when your body let her in, the gentle part of her lips when she adjusted and the strap brushed her just right.

“Dios.” Jenni groaned.

Leila pressed deeper, but not by much. Her hands wrapped around your hips, caressing the skin while her cock rocked gently. Usually you loved how slow and measured she was, but that night it drove you mad.

“More.” You grunted, pressing your ass back to heighten the intensity.

“Zorrita.” Alexia said, though there was a distinct lack of venom behind her breathless delivery. Perhaps that had something to do with the faint buzz of a vibrator which broke through the quiet.

You met Leila’s eyes one more time before she pushed forwards, filling you completely. A few more gentle rocks, fucking it open until the fullness didn’t steal your breath away.

You whined at the feeling of her hips pressed against your ass, the way her strap held you stretched around it, the clench of your empty cunt. There was temptation to bury your face into the pillows, but Alexia’s spread legs were more than enough to distract.

“How does it feel having your pretty little ass taking her, cari?” Jenni grinned at you. In one hand, she held a buzzing vibrator to Alexia’s nipple. Her other teased circles against the captain’s heat, so light, you wondered whether she could feel it at all.

Leila was gentle when she pulled out and slid back in with practiced ease. She chuckled at the noise you tried to swallow down. “So shy now. Let me hear you. You’re enjoying this, aren’t you, bebe? You like when I fuck you in the ass?”

The fierce blush spread to your cheeks, but your aching core had you arching your back for her anyway. “Yes.” You breathed out, brow furrowed at the soft rocking.

“In a sentence. Alexia needs to work on her English.” Jenni ordered.

Gulping down your embarrassment, you relaxed your tense muscles into the pillows. “I like when she fucks my ass. She feels so fucking good.”

Leila groaned, wrapping her hands around your hips to fill you again. Her own worked steadily, over and over until there was no stretch to speak of, just the rhythmic shift of her.

“She looks beautiful when she fucks whores like you.” Jenni hummed, switching to press the vibrator against Alexia’s thigh. You could see the thick muscle tense and jerk, but Jenni’s other hand danced along her clit with the same measured strokes. “Can she come like that?” She asked Leila over your head.

“Sometimes.” Leila keened as she leaned down to kiss the skin of your shoulder. “But she'll lose her mind if you touch her pussy. Do you want to?”

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lessirussolvr · 2 days

Text

Holiday

Hardersson x Child!Reader

Jessie Fleming + Niamh Charles x Child!Reader

Part of The Big Adventures Universe

Summary: A day at the pool

Pernille relaxes back on the sunbed, eyes closed in content.

The sun beats down on her and she hums.

"Magda," She says warningly," You better not try to touch me with your wet hands." She opens an eye.

Magda stands in front of her, a guilty look on her face with a hand still outstretched. She's been spending most of her time this morning in the pool, still dripping wet and Pernille appreciates the way droplets of water run down her abs.

"Sorry?" Magda offers up and Pernille rolls her eyes.

"How are the kids?"

Magda spares a look behind her.

Niamh is floating around the pool on a blow-up boat, legs hanging out and feet dragging in the pool. Jessie's in the shallow end with you, playing with your water toys and laughing when you pour water over her.

"They're fine," Magda replies," Can I give you a hug now?"

"Are you still wet?"

"Yes."

"Then, no. Dry off or go back to the kids."

Magda huffs. "Are you sure I can't tempt you to get in the water?"

Pernille closes her eye again, shifting on the sunbed so she's a bit more comfortable. "You said you would look after the kids. I'm not moving."

"Fine."

Magda wades back into the water.

"Are you having fun, princesse?"

You shrug, a pout causing your bottom lip to jut outwards. You point towards the blow-up boat. "Niamh's ignoring us!"

Magda laughs. "Well, we can't have that. Leave it to me."

She swims out to the deeper end, where Niamh is floating away. Upon closer inspection, Niamh isn't ignoring you and Jessie on purpose. She's just fast asleep.

"Niamh," Magda says," Niamh!"

"Huh? Wha-?"

Niamh awakes slowly, blinking a few times to adjust to the sudden light from the sun.

"Come on," Magda cajoles," Up you get. Enough stealing my kid's things."

You're still not completely comfortable in the water yet but you're at that stage where you think it's embarrassing to where your armbands so the floating boat had been Magda and Pernille's compromise.

You weren't allowed in the deep end without your floaties but you didn't want to wear them so the boat was the only way you could get there.

"Five more minutes," Niamh complains.

Magda grins. "Five more seconds."

"Hey! That's so unfair and-"

Niamh doesn't get to finish because Magda tips the boat over and she goes crashing into the water. She surfaces a few moments later, spluttering and pushing her now wet hair out of her face.

You giggle hysterically from the shallow end and Jessie hides her own laughter, though not well enough because Niamh clearly takes offence to it and drags Jessie under the water to wrestle.

"Morsa!" You say, lifting your arms up," Boat, please!"

Magda laughs, plucking you into her arms and placing you in the boat. She pushes you around the deep end for a while as Niamh and Jessie wrestle.

You shriek when Niamh accidentally splashes you and you splash her back, sticking your tongue out at her when she looks at you in betrayal. You splash her again for good measure just as Jessie leaps on her back and dunks her under the water.

You grin in triumph before turning back to look at Morsa. You lift your arms up.

"Want to swim please."

"You'll have to go back to the shallow end," Magda warns you and you frown, puffing out your cheeks in outrage.

"No!" You whine," In the deep end!"

"Then you have to wear your armbands. Do you want me to get them?"

You huff. "No."

"Then no swimming in the deep end."

You think for a moment and Magda can see the cogs turning in your mind as you try to work out how to get what you want. You raise your arms again.

"Carry, please."

Magda sighs but picks you up anyway, treading water in the deep end so you still end up getting what you want. You smile at her triumphantly and Magda rolls her eyes.

You know just how to manipulate her into doing what you want.

It's kind of impressive.

You get tired though and your fingers get all pruney so Magda sets you on the ground again and watches you carefully as you make your way back to Pernille.

She grunts when you jump on top of her.

You're all wet and cold and Pernille jolts in shock at the sudden temperature change.

She opens her eyes and looks down at where you've settled your head on her chest.

"You're all wet," She laughs, pushing back your wet hair.

"Was in the pool," You reply, tilting your head up so you can look at her with a big, wide smile.

"I can see that. Did you get bored?"

You nod. "Tired."

Pernille reaches for her phone. "Well, it's nearly time for your afternoon nap."

You were originally resistant to a midday nap while on holiday, wanting nothing more than to just keep going, going, going and enjoy your time but Pernille had been insistent.

You would nap for an hour before lunch so you could have the energy to enjoy the rest of your day. You were happy with it now, especially when you realised that Pernille would sleep next to you in the Big Bed and Magda wouldn't complain at all.

You hum against Pernille's chest.

"Come on," She says," Let's get you all dried off so we can nap."

"What about Morsa and Niamh and Jessie?"

Pernille casts her eyes back towards the pool.

Jessie and Niamh have teamed up against Magda, currently trying to dunk her under the water and take custody of your blow-up boat again.

"They'll be fine."

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lessirussolvr · 2 days

Text

teenage drama II k.cooney-cross x russo!reader ~

(did you miss me cause i missed you) maybe a series 😉 ... but you'll never know? #even pests need love!

23 ★ ~ k.cooney-cross x russo!reader

your sister smirked cheekily as she expertly dribbled the ball past your much smaller legs, slotting it effortlessly in the net a laugh falling from her curled lips as she turned back to see you flinging your head back in defeat.

"lessi please can we play something else? football is so boring!" you groaned, tugging on your sister's arm before she went to collect the ball to play again. "i dare hear those words come out your mouth again! or you'll be banned from movie night, you hear me!" she threatened with a wag of her finger.

the blonde knew just how much you loved movie night, lately it had become one of her many threats to her easily gullible enough sister once she realised how she could manipulate so simply. she didn't really have that kind of power but it was fun for your older sister to feel as high and mighty as her older brothers seemed to be.

your older sister who would make you run around the garden until you both collapsed on the ground in tired smiles, your mother calling out from inside that dinner was ready, the older woman chuckling as she watched you finally catch a breath.

your older sister who would pick your tiny frame off the ground and into her arms as she carried you inside to the table, shaking you out of your sleep as you dozed of in her hold. your older sister who would beg you to join the games night after dinner she had planned for weeks only to fall asleep in your bed the second you dragged her off to your room.

it was safe to say being the youngest russo was easily the most dangerous spot at the table, although your older siblings always argued that the love you recieved as the last grandchild was surely enough to make up for the countless unwanted tackles and jabs you copped from them.

being dubbed as "the nice one" you tried your best to stay out of the russo family wrestling matches, seemingly always the first to attempt breaking your older brothers out of quite literally clashing each others heads together, your older sister only spurring them on as she cheered from beside a worried you.

"go gio go! watch out for his arms you git!" she would squeal moving to jump on top of the sofa quickly out of the way as luca grabbed his younger brother in a headlock, the both of them rolling around all over the floor.

sure you and alessia fought not much differently to your brothers and not much differently to those of your friends, when the older girl would force you to play football with her for hours on end, as she sliced the ball past you almost taking your head with it.

and sure the england forward could make you think twice before telling her your weekend plans to see some of your mates when she would then proceed to show up with her own friends blasting the loudest music you'd ever heard. a shout from her car that "your lift had arrived!" embarrassing you to no end as she cheekily waved you over.

it was not long after that incident that you got your finally your own car three years later and suddenly your lifts from the older blonde were not required, so the blonde had decided you now needed to have a coffee date every sunday to catch up with her younger sister.

although a childhood friend of hers always tagged along and that saved you enough to not have to hear her boastful stories in your ear ever five seconds, though you claimed the older girl hyped herself up just to get on your nerves.

and even if the clumsy girl could be the biggest pain in your ass on a good day, you really did love your her and people would say the two of you would do anything for each other, to the ends of the earth they would say.

but she really could be a pain in your ass.

like right now.

"alessia i know how to be an adult! i don't need you on my ass every five seconds!" you seethed. crossing your arms moodily over your chest, ignoring her offer of a piece of gum and focussing on the cars speeding past.

"helicopter parent you are." you mumbled under your breath, smacking away her attempt to give you a hug with a huff. "i heard that!" she whined, giving you an amused smile as she continued driving home.

you sighed looking out the window, your eyes following the curves and edges of each familiar house as you drove past. "okay i'm sorry. can you forgive me!" she grinned with a pout, gripping your wrist over the console as she dragged out her words.

"fine but only because i owe you a coffee and this will cover the cost." you answered begrudgingly, pinching her arm to let go as the blonde let out a cheer and turned the volume of the music up.

you had never enjoyed football growing up, you knew your interests lay elsewhere from a young age. so whilst your siblings played rough house with each other in the garden, you preferred to spend time on your own. tucked away inside with a book often whilst your mother made dinner, the older woman listening to any and every thought of your for hours on end.

and as your siblings weekends began filling with games and tournaments, you now sat in the crowd still buried in your book, head lifting every so often when you would hear your father's loud cheers. different matches every saturday, travelling to the far ends of the country to support your siblings, but no matter how far you were always there for them.

when your sister had made the move over to states, you'd missed her greatly and if it wasn't for your brothers convincing that you needed to focus on your studies you were confident you would have nearly failed your last exams.

it wasn't long before you finished your final exams that you made the decision to move over to london to start your career in the business world. suddenly things began to become clearer, you knew your path lay elsewhere from your siblings.

your passion for business and entrepreneurship had been a driving force throughout your studies, and the opportunity to start your career in london was too good to pass up.

you'd of course settled in easily to the busy life of living in london, smoothly finding your feet as you were quick to immerse yourself in the fast work environment, joining a large company which offered you the chance to learn from experienced entrepreneurs.

now back to present day, you still hadn't taken your older sisters advice to finally take being part of a footballing family in your stride and you were still adamant that your days of kicking footballs with the blonde in the garden were long behind you.

it was through your company that you were able to secure a job at adidas by leveraging your experience from your previous company and network in the business world.

your reputation for innovative thinking and partnerships caught the attention of adidas' acquisition team, who were seeking fresh individuals for their corporate division. it was only after a series of successful collaborations which drove impactful projects, you were offered a high role within the company.

however things looked a lot different now, your sister had now finally moved back from the states and moved through the ranks to what she described as one of the top teams in europe, her training grounds only a mere fifteen minute drive from your apartment.

but given your new company's strong connections with many football teams, you found yourself collaborating with arsenal, or more familiar to you; your sisters club.

failing to realise how much of a pain your sister still was you had offered to help coordinate an event for the team, told by your marketing director to bring your skills to the table.

"right we're here grumpy pants, do you want my jacket in the back? bloody freezing this morning." she grumbled, zipping up her own jacket as she turned the engine off.

"no i'll be fine thanks." you replied, giving your sister a cheeky smile as you stepped out of the car. you pulled your scarf tighter around your neck and looked around at the different fields.

"you look so funny!" you giggled, tugging on your sisters clothing all branded by her club. "oh shush." she hummed, playfully swatting your hands away with a smile. "you're just as annoying as i remember!" she grinned down at you, the blonde easily a few feet taller than you.

"can't say i don't remember younger you at all!" you said sarcastically. pulling up your phone to show her your lock screen, your background a photo of the two of you in the backseat of the car, probably driving off to one of her games out west.

you laughed all the way into the building, unable to contain yourself when the forward pushed on a so clearly labeled pull door and smashed into the glass, causing her to almost topple over.

"less! are you alright?" you questioned, trying to stifle your laughter as as a red mark appeared on her forehead, your sister with a pout on her face. "oh less." you chuckled, watching as your sisters frown deepened.

you reached out to inspect the mark, still trying not to laugh as much as you wanted to. "stop laughing!" she whined, looking a little embarrassed as she made eye contact with her teammates coming through the entrance. "it was an accident okay! my heads sore now."

"okay sorry, i'm sorry!" you apologised, finally able to suppress your giggles. "do you need ice or something?" you asked, pulling the clumsy girl off the floor. "i'll be alright, come on let's go inside."

"well good morning miss russo times two!" you bumped into lotte as you arrived, all of you entering the building at the same time. "lotts!" you squealed, jumping into the older girls arms as she lifted you off the ground.

"tiny! haven't seen you in ages, how's london treating you then?" she asked. the three of you fell into conversation as if no time had passed since you'd seen your sister's best friend.

"but i won't forget the time you made me pick you and gracie up from the dock, the two of you were completely shit faced!" she laughed, reminding you of the time you and a couple of friends maybe not so accidently drank way too much at a party and drunkenly called lotte to uber you home.

"my learning curve was thinking beer and liquor would mix nicely." you winced, thinking back to the hours after the party that lotte spent holding your hair back as you emptied your stomach. "fun night that was." in hindsight it probably wasn't the best start to your last year at school, but it was an easy excuse to not ever get that drunk again.

"yeah pretty fun night until i was woken up in the middle of the night to you and lotte at my window." your sister grumbled, clearly not as amused by the memory as you and lotte. she shrugged her jacket off up in her locker whilst you sat down on the bench.

"oh don't be a grub. can't forget when you and tooney had big night down in london." you chuckled, referring to the time her and the mancunian came home at four in the morning after having taken their first night out in the city.

"mum's got the patience of a saint." the two of you shared a look at that before bursting into a fit of laughter. pulling yourself up from the bench to grab your sister into a tight hug, your bond ran so deep. "i missed this tiny." she spoke into your hair, not missing beth's smile over your shoulders.

"oi russo who's the new lass?" a girl you recognised from your sisters instagram walked over, as you broke away from the hug. "katie meet my sister, she's here on behalf of adidas for a marketing event." the blonde introduced you as a few more girls floated into the locker room.

"nice to meet ya." she smiled, her accent thick as ever. "likewise." you answered, easily falling into a conversation about what you did at college, the irish girl interested in your role at the company.

lotte and alessia shared a look as they too fell into check as katie sat down with you. you watched as katie grinned over your head, clearly smiling at another teammate as you heard them behind you. "look who finally showed!" she chuckled as three girls entered the room, one of them tucking themself into her side.

you couldn't help but let your eyes draw to the youngest of the three as they put their stuff down, there was something captivating about her energy and you couldn't quite place it. that or the fact that she was easily the closest in age to you and downright the most beautiful girl you had ever seen.

caught in your thoughts, you barely even noticed the look that your sister and lotte shared over your head. "awfully chipper this morning, love." she joked as the girl grumpily rested her head onto katie's shoulder, seemingly not have had a great sleep last night. "not my fault dean was away and steph can't handle the pest on her own." she mumbled tiredly, glaring at a younger girl who you gathered was sitting next to steph who looked equally as tired.

"this is cait, arsenal superstar, australian international and most importantly my girlfriend." katie explained, kissing the top of caitlin's head before a hand pushed her face away. "shut up," caitlin giggled as she pulled herself closer.

"hi i'm caitlin nice to meet you, you're alessia's sister aren't you?" she spoke and you nodded back. "yeah that's me." you smiled, shaking her hand as she extended it. "less hasn't stopped talking about you all week, think she's more excited i'm here than i am," you chuckled.

"only good things i hope!" katie said back as your sister sat back down next to you. "mostly good things." you teased as alessia swatted your arm. "tiny best get a move on before those two show you a washing demo!" lotte said, patting your head hearing you laugh.

"not a pest." the younger girl grinned as she came back, arms firmly crossed as she moved across the room, flicking both katie and caitlin. "such a pest" caitlin groaned, as she winked at you.

"you must be kyra." you deduced, recognising the unmistakable australian accent, your sister having described the girls when you met for coffee earlier this week.

"one and only! you're less' sisters aren't you, been looking forward to meeting you." she smirked and caught off guard you couldn't help but blush at her forwardness, but before your cheeks could redden further you caught katie's eyes as she grinned.

but your attention was quickly elsewhere as kyra pulled steph's bun out of it's elastic before grabbing her in a headlock. "quick take it!" kyra shrieked as steph tried to grab her, her hand brushing yours as she tried to give you the elastic.

the australian so easily drew you in like a moth to a flame as her touch lingered on your hands sending a shiver down your spine as you heard her laugh, you couldn't help but wonder if she had done it intentionally.

you felt your breath get caught in your throat as your cheeks once again reddened and you struggled to stay focussed on what your sister was saying. kyra grasped for help with her attractive smile as steph took her down on the floor, the blonde begging for your help as your connected hands brought you both crashing to the ground.

pulling yourself off the blonde you sat up against the wall, herself with a smug grin as you were left alone on the ground. steph having been fed up and walked off the rest of the girls still conversing after a long two weeks apart.

"well, seems we have made friends with the floor." she giggled and you knocked your arm against her with a smile. "seems so." you agreed, the two of you falling into conversation.

perhaps it was the blondes cheeky smile that lured you towards her, or maybe it was the way she seemed so eager to meet you, or even the way her fingers so easily grazed over your own or the warmth that disappeared with them.

534 notes · View notes

lessirussolvr · 2 days

Text

Duck on a String

Jessie Fleming x Child!Reader

Summary: Jessie isn't at training

Jessie was missing.

Okay, well, that was a bit of an exaggeration. She wasn't missing in the sense that the police had to be called but she was definitely missing from training.

She hadn't texted or let any of the team know why but Emma and the other staff hadn't seemed to mind. Regardless though, it was enough for Magda to drag Pernille and Niamh to Jessie's door despite their complaining.

The curtains are closed so Magda can't nose around through the windows so she knocks on the front door.

There's no answer.

She knocks again.

"Maybe she's not in," Niamh says, shoving her hands into her pockets," Can we leave now? I'm hungry."

Magda knocks again, harder this time.

"She's probably sick," Pernille says," She might be napping, Magda. We don't want to-"

The door creaks open.

Magda expects Jessie. Maybe Jessie in her pyjamas or with major bedhead, all red and feverish.

Instead, she gets you.

You're kneeling on the top of the entrance hall table that Jessie uses to put her keys on. You're absolutely tiny and there's no way you could have unlocked the chain lock without it.

Magda expected a sick Jessie.

Instead she gets a sick you.

You're still sitting on the table with wide eyes. Your cheeks are all red and even from the distance, Magda can feel the fever raging through you.

Despite this, you look absolutely adorable, dressed simply in a little duckling shirt and shorts.

"Er..." Magda's at a loss for words and it's clear that Pernille and Niamh are shocked too.

"Hi, sweetheart," Pernille coos at you," Do we have the right house? Is Jessie Fleming here?"

You wiggle down from the table and Pernille reaches out quickly in case you fall but you seem fine.

"Mama!" You call," Mama!"

Footsteps sound and the door open furthers.

"Duckie!" Jessie scolds," What have I said about opening the door?"

"Sorry," You say before pointing at the girls in front of you," Here for you."

Jessie lays a kiss on your cheek before pushing you further into the house.

You waddle off and Niamh smothers a laugh as you pull a set of wooden ducks on a string after you.

Jessie stands in front of her teammates awkwardly. Unlike you, she's not sick. She looks perfectly fine, if a little nervous.

"What's with the kid?" Niamh asks and Jessie looks unbelievably more awkward.

"That's my Duckie," She says," She's sick."

"That explains nothing."

"I-"

There's a crash sound behind her.

"Mama! Duckies go crash!"

"Do you want to come in?" Jessie asks," It's just..." She jerks a thumb behind her.

"That would be nice, Jessie," Pernille says, guiding everyone inside.

You're sitting in the lounge when they make it inside. Your wooden ducks on a string are now sitting on their sides and you've got the biggest pout known to man on your face.

Jessie sets them right and you're off again, wandering around the room in a circle as you drag your ducks behind you.

"I adopted her," Jessie admits," Do you remember the club did that benefit for kids in foster care? Bought them new clothes and toys? I was holding a duck. She was really excited about it."

"A kid is a big step," Pernille advises, not unkindly.

"I know," Jessie says," But...But I looked at her and just knew. You know?"

"Er...not really no," Magda replies, scratching the back of her head as her eyes track your circular motions," But I trust you, Jess. She seems sweet."

The dopiest smile appears on Jessie's face. "Duckie's great. She so sweet."

You turn your head at the sound of your nickname and wander over. Your ducks come trailing after you and you keep a tight grip on their string.

"Hi, Mama!" You give her a big kiss on the cheek.

"Hi, Duckie." Jessie's still got that silly, dopey smile on her face as you give her another kiss. "Theses are my friends Magda, Pernille and Niamh."

"Hi, Magda, Pernille and Niamh!" You say before looking back at Jessie with the exact same dopey smile that she has. "Mama, my duckies say quack!"

"That's right!" Jessie says," Duckies do say quack!"

You giggle hysterically before breaking into a coughing fit that has Jessie gently rubbing you back.

"All better!" You chirp, swiping your nose with your sleeve before hopping down. You grab Niamh's hand and tug at her until she's standing, walking around with her in circles as you pull along your ducks.

"Duckie's usually shy," Jessie admits," She must like you all."

It doesn't seem like you're shy at all until the hours lag on and you grow tired. The sun has set and Jessie's made dinner for all five of you.

That's when the shyness sets in along with the fatigue that Niamh reckons comes with whatever sick bug you've got.

You don't walk in circles with your ducks on the string and you stay very firmly planted in Jessie's lap as she zips up your fluffy duckling sleepsuit.

You yawn, head slumped against Jessie's collarbone as you stare at the three football players. Mama's running her fingers through your damp hair and you really thought her friends would have been gone by the time that you had finished your bath.

You yawn again as your eyes focus on Magda and Pernille. You don't really want to go up to them but you've been having thoughts about them ever since Magda helped you with your farmyard animals puzzle when Mama was cooking.

You wiggle off Mama's lap and toddle over to them.

You take Pernille's hand and put it into Magda's.

"Love each other," You say in your sleepy haze," Forever. Date."

Magda looks up at Jessie in confusion but her teammate is already cooing over you, lifting you up into her arms. You burrow into them quickly and Jessie places a soft felt duck into your hands.

"I think it's bedtime," Mama says to you," Don't you think so?"

"Duckie go night-night," You agree.

Mama smiles. "That's right. Duckie is going night-night. Can you say goodbye to my friends?"

"Bye-bye."

Mama carries you up to bed after taking your temperature one last time. She rubs your back and gives you kisses before tucking you into your bed with your duckie bedsheets and your duckie pillows.

"Goodnight, duckie."

"Night-night, Mama."

626 notes · View notes

lessirussolvr · 2 days

Text

your moms are here

leah williamson x reader, jordan nobbs x reader, (wobbs as coparents)

part 5 of beautiful girl series pt.1 -> pt.2 -> pt.3 -> pt.4

warnings: if your any bit emotionally unstable this isn’t for u x

You didn’t expect to wake up, let alone wake up warm and in a fraction of the amount of pain you’d been in the last time you’d been conscious enough to feel anything.

Your eyes were still crammed shut, your chest still hurt, your body was still shaking, but you felt better, less like you were dangling on the cliff of life and death, you weren’t sure where you were, or if you were even alive.

Was this they greater beyond?

Was it the warmth of death’s embrace?

You knew it wasn’t, because there was still the dull pain and the tension all over your body. You didn’t believe that life after death was anything, that it was actually some overwhelming cloud of happiness and perfection, but if it did exist, if there was some kind of heaven, this wasn’t it.

You thought about the places you could be, in bed at Matt’s house, in bed at your mom’s house, in bed at some kidnappers house, in bed at rehab.

You quickly eliminated each option, the bed and sheets weren’t the same from your bed or Matt’s, kidnappers didn’t normally concern themselves with comfortability, and in your mind rehab would have more detoxing, screaming, junkies.

Out of pure fear, you tried to crack your eyes open, it wasn’t easy, but with some concentration that made your forehead feel like it was being split open, you managed to slowly crack your right eye open. There was sleep and tears keeping your eyelashes stuck together, which made it far harder then it should have been, the blinding white light directly above your head wasn’t much help either.

You took back what you thought, everything hurt.

From your toenails to the follicles on top of your head, it felt like every single nerve in your body was being plucked and split in half.

Your whole body curled itself up into a ball, it made the shaking a little bit less like your body was being exorcised.

You realised very quickly as your eye became accustomed to the light around you that you were in the last place you possibly wanted to be.

You should have clocked on to it, based on the persistent beeping noise coming from above you and the cords that were connected to your arm.

They’d dropped you off out the front of a fucking hospital.

Or someone had found you and called a ambulance.

Or your moms had taken you to the hospital.

Or you were in some sick twisted dream.

With the rest of the energy that was left in your body you managed to crack open your other eye, it wasn’t easy, but it helped you feel more aware of your surroundings.

It was a surprisingly quiet hospital, or at least by your standards.

You tried to sit up, but it was no use, your body was completely spent, all of the energy felt like it had been completely pulled from your body.

Withdrawals, maybe.

Or the reaction of the opioid with the stimulant.

Those were your best guesses as to how you’d ended up feeling like death.

You didn’t have to wait long to find out, the curtain which was keeping you contained from the rest of the ER was opened up, a nurse waltzing her way over to your bedside.

You couldn’t help but feel a little bit vulnerable, you could hardly move your body and had a lot less control over it then you would have liked.

“Miss dump and run awakens.”

Dump and run.

You couldn’t decide whether or not you were mad with your friends, on one hand, it was smart of them to drop you off at an er. They had no medical knowledge, they were druggies, they didn’t need a dead body on their hands. On the other hand, they’d left you, deserted you, left you for dead.

The nurse moved to your IV and monitor, looking at the different flashing numbers and writing them down on her clipboard, before she looked down and addressed you properly.

“Had a lot of drugs in your system for such a wee thing like yourself. Your friends were smart to drop you here, you would have been as good as dead with that much meth in your system for any longer. I’ve seen a lot of overdoses in my day, you might just take the cake though, darlin’.”

Overdose?

A fucking overdose?

You’d been doing drugs for months now, meth, a smidge of coke, little bits of molly and LSD, a little sprinkle of heroin, opioids a couple of times, plenty of weed. Not once had you ever overdosed, you’d never seen someone overdose, you’d come to think it was urban myth.

You’d hardly taken anything, two shoot ups within a couple of hours of each other, it wasn’t something you’d done before but it also wasn’t exorbitant or something you hadn’t seen other people do.

“Sorry, an overdose?”

You were still shaking, it was less obvious underneath the shitty hospital blanket that was on top of you, but you were still shaking like a leaf in the wind.

“Yup, think you had more meth in your blood stream then blood. The saline should flush it all out until your guardians get here.”

Guardians?

What?

What the actual fuck was this nightmare that you were stuck in.

“Sorry, my guardians?”

The nurse looked back down at her clipboard.

“Ms Williamson and Ms Nobbs? We’re obligated to call emergency contacts in life threatening circumstances and those were the ones that were on your phone, they should be here soon enough.”

You didn’t care that you couldn’t moved, you needed to leave.

“I want to discharge, now.”

The nurse looked at you like you had gone silly, like you were in a psychiatric ward instead of the emergency one.

“You’re underage, and you’d have to sign a waiver saying that you are aware you’re going against doctors orders, a lot of paperwork, and you’d actually have to be strong enough to walk out of here, which I can promise you is not happening any time soon,”

The nurse pointed to the IV bag.

“There’s still another hour or so left on this, until it’s done that dizzines your experiencing and the weakness isn’t going to pass. You’re frighteningly dehydrated and full of methamphetamines.”

Fuck.

You were so fucking fucked.

“Please, I’ll sign whatever forms, just let me leave, please.”

You didn’t know how you planned to leave, considering you weren’t even mobile enough to roll onto your back to look at the nurse properly, eye to eye.

“You get up and walk to my desk where the papers are and you can leave, how’s that sound, sweetheart?”

You want to yell directly into her face and tell her to let you fucking leave. But you don’t, you have a inch of self-respect that prevents you from doing it.

“Please.”

You’ve never liked to beg, you did enough of it during your youth, begging for your mom to not leave you home alone every night, begging for things to get better, begging for your life to get better, and it had. Jordan and Leah had introduced you to a whole new world, a beautiful world, the kind of world you’d read about as a child, they’d given you anything and everything you’d wanted growing up. You’d become gracious, but promised yourself that you’d never beg in the same way that you always had, but when your life had been turned upside down, you’d reverted back to your old ways.

“I have a daughter of my own, y’know, around your age. If she was in your situation all I would care about is her being okay, that’s whats most important.”

You rolled your eyes, you were certain of one things, your moms would be mad, you were surprised they were coming at all, everyone had deserted you, it felt like you had nobody.

“Can i get something for the pain?”

You were intelligent enough to know that the iv was detoxing you at a rapid rate, whilst it was saving your life, it also meant that you were going to be sent into withdrawals a lot faster then you should have. You weren’t going to get your hands on meth, clearly. So you needed a substitute, luckily, you were currently sitting in a hospital which was filled with every single painkiller known to man.

“Good try honey, a part from the fact that your bloodstream and body couldn’t even handle a tylenol at the minute, I’m also not going to give an addict drugs, just hang in honey, the chest pain and muscle cramps should start to pass soon.”

Just as she was finishing, your eyes darted to the emergency room doors, which were now hanging open as your two moms and Lia walked through the doors.

Jordan was dressed in the same sweats she’d been in all morning, her face was red and puffy, eyes bloodshot and still full of tears.

Leah looked more put together, she had a pair of slacks on and a clean shirt, her eyes were as red as Jordan’s but she appeared to have put on more of a brave face.

Your eyes darted everywhere, looking for some kind of escape, or to stop their fast steps that were slowly getting closer to you with every millisecond that passed.

There was no hope for you.

If the drugs hadn’t killed you then your moms would.

Leah managed to cross into your makeshift room first, her eyes flashing across every inch of your body. You expected her to ask the nurse a question, or yell at you, but she didn’t.

She walked straight to your bedside, your nurse moving out of the way, and without you being aware of what was happening, wrapped her arms around your body.

You didn’t hug your moms a lot anymore.

In the start, when you’d started out with them, it had taken a lot of effort from them to make you trust them with that kind of contact, but eventually, you’d become reliant on their hugs, the shoulder pats, the little motherly touches here and there that you’d never gotten as a kid.

When they’d broken up, the hugs and contact had faded, similarly to the love in the house, it was like everything personal, everything that made Leah’s house a home had been drained.

“You’re okay, thank god you’re okay.”

Leah’s body lingered on your own body long enough for Jordan’s arms to wrap around your body on the other side of you.

You hadn’t been hugged by the both of them in over a year, you felt guilty for wishing that this wouldn’t be a one time thing, that you could have this whenever you wanted. That wasn’t your life though, it wasn’t your reality, it wasn’t reality.

You let yourself relax, you knew you’d regret it when the moment ended, it’d make it that much harder to realise you couldn’t have this, but you let yourself enjoy it whilst you had it.

It lasted longer than you’d thought, it was hard, Jordan hugs were addictive. You didn’t get them a lot anymore, occasionally you’d get a hug from Leah, once every blue moon when she wanted one, but it wasn’t like this. It wasn’t body on body, feelings on feelings, love on love.

You didn’t know if you knew what love felt like anymore, over the years it had been distorted, you were certain that love could only be given to a person in transaction. It’s why you’d tried to be perfect, the perfect kid, the perfect student, the perfect player. You’d given up when Jordan had left, it didn’t matter anymore, there wasn’t enough love to be shared around between you and Leah. Love to you, was a privilege, not something that everyone had extra of. You had to earn love, or at keast that;s how you’d always seen it. You’d never been good enough for your own parents, that’s how you’d ended up with Jordan and Leah, from them you’d always craved that love, the love you’d never gotten and you’d been willing to do anything for it, you still were.

“We love you so much chicky, so much.”

You enjoyed the little murmurs, the little whispers in your ears that were so heartfelt and meaningful that you could feel the tears of your moms dripping down each side of your neck.

All good things come to and end, but it didn’t make it any easier.

Leah, unsurprisingly was the first to turn to your nurse.

“They didn’t tell me anything on the phone, just that we needed to come here, she’s okay?”

Your nurse nodded at your mom.

“Yes ma’am, we’re flushing her out right now. She wants to discharge herself, it’s going against medical advice but she’s free to once she’d done with her iv and she’s regained some strength.”

Jordan sat down on the bed next to you, leaving a big enough gap of space that you could still feel her presence but weren’t pressed up against her, she was listening just intently as Leah to the nurse.

“Flushing her out? Of what?”

Fuck.

You’d never ever, in your life, known Leah to not be inquisitive, she needed and wanted answers to everything, but this was worrying you. There were things you kept a secret for a reason.

“Methamphetamines, she had a pretty high amount circulating in her body. I can get the doctor to come and talk to you about it. Her body had built up a decent tolerance, she took it a lot better than you or I would. Apart from that she’s in fairly good condition, although the doctor did have some concerns about some scratches and bruises that seemed consistent with domestic or sexual abuse.”

You watched, in a series of moments, your mothers face fall more and more as the nurse kept speaking. Leah was pretty good at having a poker face, she had to for her job, she also kept a brave face for life though. You’d hardly seen a break in her resolve since her injury but right now, she was keeping nothing hidden. You felt Jordan’s body go rigid behind you as well, you knew shit was about to get real.

You considered strangling yourself with the blanket on top of you, or drowning yourself in the toilet bowl in the adjacent bathroom. It sounded better than the conversation that was about to occur.

“You’re daughter is very lucky, stupid, but lucky. Her friends ditched her at the front door, if they had of been any later she’d be in far worse condition. She was here just quick enough for us to counteract the drugs and stop them from effecting her mental cognition. Her friends shouldn’t have ditched her, or let her get that far gone, but you should be grateful they were at least smart enough to take her somewhere she could get help. I’m going to go find the doctor, he can talk to you about different option you have, and I’ll leave you guys to talk for a little bit, okay?”

Leah nodded, dumbfoundedly, trying her best to smile at the nurse as she made her way towards the exit of your room, closing the curtains and then the door.

Leah pivoted as soon as she was gone, looking down at you with so much horror and pain that you could feel it in your gut.

“Meth, bubba? You’ve been doing meth?”

The sentence hung in the air for a few seconds, filling up all of the space, you hoped that after a couple of seconds that it would disappear, like it had never been said.

“It’s not a big deal.”

You should have chosen your words more precisely, but you were finding it hard to think with all of the drug haze clouding your head.

“Not a big deal? You told me it was the vape, then it was weed, then it was coke and now iut’s fucking meth? There is nothing not big about that bubba. This isn’t just something you can do for fun, this isn’t okay, this is serious. You could die from this. You almost did. You’re 17. 17 year olds aren’t supposed to die. Why bubba? What made you want to do this, not just to yourself but to your life, to everyone. Do you know how scared your mother and I have been. The whole team has been calling up hospitals and roaming the streets looking for you. We’ve been terrified.”

Guilt was one of the best ways to make a person admit they were wrong, you knew it, you’d watched your moms manipulate each other during the break up the same way. They’d use something against the other until it spiralled into a massive fight which would end with someone sleeping at a teammates house or on the couch.

“I’m sorry, okay? Can we just go home? I want to go home.”

Another poor choice in words apparently by the look on Leah’s face.

“No we can’t just go home, we need to talk about this bubba, you overdosed on meth. You have a tolerance for it, which means you’ve been using it for a while. You have bruises and you’re in a hospital bed unable to move. You’re addicted to a drug that I would have thought you’d have absolutely no interest in. You’ve got a disease bubba, you’ve got an addiction and we’re going to work it out, we’ll fix it.”

Similar to being a control freak, Leah was also a person who wanted to fix everything. No problem was big enough for her, apparently your whole life wasn’t either.

“Mom this isn’t a disease, this isn’t like fucking cancer or something. I made a choice, I have it under control, this is my life. I’m choosing to live it this way.”

Your mom looks like she’s about to lose her shit.

“I understand that you think you have this under control and that you think this is the best way to be living your life but it fucking isn’t. I understand you’re struggling, but this isn’t okay, you’re a kid, you can;t be doing this.”

Worst thing you can tell a addict, you can’t take drugs.

Because yes you most certainly can, it’s a free motherfucking country.

“I understand what I’m doing, it doesn’t make me a bad person or any different from your or mama. You don’t like who i am anymore, not since i quit football and stopped being who you wanted me to be, I’ve changed and you have to accept that, this is me mom, this is who I am.”

Leah looked flabbergasted.

“You want me to just nod my head and accept my daughter is a junkie, right? That’s the permission you are seeking, you aren’t going to get it bubba, this isn’t anywhere near okay. This isn’t you, people change, I change, you’re allowed to be different then how you were a couple of years ago. Drugs isn’t how you change yourself, it’s not how you reinvent yourself. You can’t live your whole fucking life like this because guess what, you’ll end up dead. Addiction is a degenerative disease, it is incurable, it is deadly, it’s no fucking different from cancer and you’ve got it. I understand that, you’ve got an addiction, we’ll figure it out. I am not going to enable you to keep abusing a substance that will kill you. You’ve got a death wish and I won’t sit by and allow it to happen. I thought I was cool, I thought it was good of me to be accepting that you’re a teenager and you were going to do stupud stuff, I let you get away with much more than I should have. I’m sorry, I’m sorry that if I gave you to much space that you felt the need to do this, I’m sorry that I wasn’t a good enough parent to see the warning signs, but I won’t let you kill yourself bubba, not when I can stop it from happening.”

Jordan was still silent, as passive as ever, she’d always taken a backseat, the silent enabler.

“You’ve got no fucking idea what I’m going through, I’m sorry I scared you, but I don’t have to explain my actions to you, you understand nothing about what I’m dealing with.”

The first time you sweared in the presence of Leah and Jordan was your second day with them. You didn’t even know what swearing was, you’d just picked up words that had been said as you’d been growing up. You hadn’t hesitated to throw a ‘fuck’ out when you’d stubbed your foot on the kitchen bench as you’d been pouring yourself a glass of water.

You’d known something was wrong though when you’d turned around to sit back down at the table with Leah and Jordan and both of them looked like they’d seen a ghost.

You’d hardly swore after that, to your core, you were a people pleaser, you didn’t like to be in trouble, right now though it was like everything you’d grown up with was exiting your body. You felt like a monster, like a version of yourself you didn’t know and it was hard, it was really fucking hard. You didn’t want to break down, you were scared that if you were vulnerable you’d be taken advantage of again, the same way that you friends had, so you put up your won shields.

“I don’t need to know what you’re going through to know that this isn’t good. We’ll get you into rehab, we’ll get you clean, we’re here for you, right Jords?”

You could feel Jordan nodding from behind you.

“I’m not going to rehab, fuck no.”

Leah was pacing, it was what she did when she was stressed, it was a clear tell.

“So, I’m just supposed to allow you back into my house, knowing that you’ve been hiding an addiction from me for months, trust that my drug addicted child will stay clean on her own account and be willing to go through withdrawals and not give in to her own addiction. Do you think I don’t love you, is that it? Because right now you’re telling me that I am expected to allow my daughter to use drugs, lethal drugs that almsot killed her, under my roof, allow you to live your life as you want it, and leave you alone. As a person who loves you and has loved your for the past 9 years of your life, are you actually hearing what you are saying?”

Love.

It was a curious thing, your mother thought she loved you, or at least she felt like she did. Ut was funny how to you, you felt the exact opposite way.

“So what you’re doing this to show me you love me or something? Reality check, you haven’t given a fucking shit about me in months, it’s all about Lia, all about your knee. I’m not selfish enough to expect that you can focus on me whilst your recovering but don’t try and act like you’ve been loving and caring about me this whole time when you haven’t.”

Leah sits herself down, she can only handle so long on her feet nowadays.

“Maybe you should coem stay with me, come to rehab in Birmingham. Bubba, your mom is still struggling.”

You’re more than shocked to hear Jordan pipe up, it reignites something else in you.

“No you don’t get to have a fucking say. You left me, you don’t text anymore, you don’t call. I’m only your kid when it’s convenient for you, which is about 10 days every year. You don’t even try with me, you washed your hands of me a year ago and you don’t get to come back now. You gave me up.”

Your sick of being the understanding one, sick of being the one everybody could burden with their problems, sick of being the fucking scapegoat in every situation.

“Look kid, i think you need to have some more respect for your mothers.”

Lia.

Fucking Lia and her audacity and her fucking butting into all of your family problems.

“No you don’t get a fucking say, you move in a couple of months ago to support my mom and all of a sudden your my third fucking parent. You’ve got nothing to do with me, You don’t get to have a say in anything, you aren’t apart of this fucking family.”

Leah looked like she was having about 30 wars with herself inside of her head, like she was struggling to figure out which side of her brain she should side with.

“Bubba, we’ve talked about this, you need to be respectful to Lia.”

You were sick of everybody telling you that you had to respect people, that you had to follow fucking rules. They wondered why you’d spiralled.

“No, fuck this, fuck you, fuck jordan, fuck everything. I made a series of decisions, ones that I am happy with, this is how I am living my life.”

Leah took a deep breath, before turning to face you.

It was hard looking at her eye to eye, you were putting her through a lot right now, and a part of you deep down felt bad about it. You didn’t want to make your mom feel in pain, you didn’t want her to suffer, it was the last thing you wanted. Without her, you’d be as good as nothing, you’d have absolutely nothing. But you were lashing out, you were as frantic as your sore chest and pumping heart would let you be.

“Bubba. You don’t seen what’s wrong. I do, Jordan and I are sitting here talking to a girl that we don’t know. This isn’t our daughter, this isn’t the girl we’ve raised. You’re going to go to rehab, you’re going to detox, you’re going to get properly clean and once you are we’ll have this conversation again, see if you have a different perspective.”

You didn’t want to have this conversation when you were clean, you wanted to have it now.

“No. If you gave a shit about me, like you’re acting to, you wouldn’t have fucking broken up in the first place. You wouldn’t have torn my life apart, you wouldn’t have done this to me. You wouldn’t have stopped cring about me, you wouldn’t have stopped loving me. Let me go, let me leave. You fucking did this to me and if you want to make it up to me you’ll let me leave.”

You saw Leah’s face fall to another level.

“I can’t do that bubba.”

You felt like you were spinning out of control, like you were in a car that had just fallen over a cliff, and you were slowly doing flip after flip as the car catapulted towards the rocks at the bottom.

“Mom, just let me leave, let me go, please mom, let me leave, let me fucking leave.”

Leah just shook her head at you.

“Bubba, I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, it might not ever. I know me and your mom breaking up was hard for you, you didn’t deserve that, and I’m sorry for that, but neither of us could handle keeping you in a household without love, and I know it’s different now, I’m so sorry for that, I wish we could go back. But we can’t, me and your mom don’t love each other more, we can’t just love each other. We love you though, we love you more then anything else. We would both pick you above anybody in the world, you’re our beautiful little girl, you’re our girl. You’ll never not be our daughter. We chose you years ago and we would choose you again today, everyday, for the rest of our lives. No matter what you do.”

There are big tears dripping down your moms face, you’ve seen her cry plenty in your life, Leah Williamson is known to be an emotional person, but not like this, not with this much anguish and pain in her face, never like this.

“You don’t love me, you can’t fucking love me, I’m not like either of you. I break people apart, I’m a catalyst, everywhere I go, I tear people a part, I wreck their lives. I wrecked my parents, I wrecked you guys relationship, I wrecked my own life. I’m a fucking semi-truck that bulldozes through peoples lives, just let me leave and you guys can be happy again.”

Leah takes a double take, her fists are white from how hard they are holding onto the arms of the chair she’s sat in. You’re surprised she doesn’t yell back at you, but instead of meeting your aggression with an equal amount, she composes herself.

“Bubba, do you know how much I love you, how much your mama and I love you? If you could take all of the words in the english language, it still wouldn’t be enough to describe how much we love you. And if you could gather all of those words together, it still wouldn’t be enough. What we feel for you is everything. I love you more than everything. You don’t pull people a part, you’ve made your mama and I happier than we ever would have been without you. You light up our lives everyday, I know it doesn’t feel like it, but just seeing you everyday is my biggest achievement, it’s the best part of my day. Seeing you grow up to be the person Jord and I raised will forever be the best part of my life. You didn’t tear us apart, if anything you were what kept us together for so long, because being around you made us both so happy, that all of our problems didn’t matter as much. Eventually it was too much though, it had nothing to do with you, it never will, it never did. You’re the light in our life, you are our whole universe. We just want you to be okay, you don’t have to be who you were, people change, but you need to be okay. You’re not okay right now, there isn’t anything wrong with that, it’s okay to not be okay, but me and your mama will find you help if you don’t seek it our yourself. You need to go to rehab, you can’t live your life like this, it isn’t sustainable. Drugs ruin peoples lives. I don’t need to throw stats at you for you to understand the magnitude of drug related deaths, because that’s how this will end, with you dead. You’ve been through so much bubba, you’re so strong, but you don’t always have to be strong, you’re allowed to break down, you’re allowed to have bad days. But drugs isn’t a way to fix that, it’s not a safe coping mechanism, you can’t rely on drugs to solve every problem that you have. You need to get clean. We love you so much, our beautiful girl.”

Everything hurts, your heart, your head, your body. Your eyes and head aren’t clear, it’s like there is a fuzzy haze covering everything, but you believe what Leah is telling you, she’s telling you the honest truth, and you can’t deny that.

524 notes · View notes

lessirussolvr · 2 days

Text

Surgery VI

Mapi Leon x Ingrid Engen x Child!Reader

Summary: Baking when you were Little Cub

"In trouble, again?" Paredes asks as Mapi leaves her meeting," What is it this time? Still the food issue?"

"There's no food issue," Mapi replies with an eye roll.

"If you're struggling with healthy food then-"

"There's no struggling to make healthy food," Mapi interrupts," It's fine. We're fine."

"I'm just saying, Mapi. I know Cub's properly weaned now so if it's difficult then just come over to mine. Lucía will be happy to feed you both."

"It's fine," Mapi insists," We have no nutrition problems in the house."

Paredes looks sceptical but doesn't push anymore as you toddle over, grabbing onto Mapi's legs and giggling as Ingrid tickles your tummy.

You've taken to Ingrid like flies to honey.

Paredes hasn't seen anything quite like it. You're notoriously impulsive and wiggly (she's still trying to convince Mapi to get you checked out by a professional) but you don't mind sitting still in Ingrid's arms.

She's your go-to babysitter now, even edging out Leila while Mapi's busy and you seem to love her.

"Are we still up for later tonight?" Ingrid asks as you duck back and forth between her and Mapi.

Mapi's cheeks turn pink and her voice goes embarrassingly high-pitched. "Of course! Cub's really excited. Aren't you, cub?"

"Makin' cookies 'gain?" You ask.

"If you really want to."

"Yes!"

"I see," Paredes laughs as you and Ingrid run off again," The nutrition problem is you can't say no to your kid. Cookies? Again? How many spare have you got?"

Mapi groans. "Too many. You know what Cub's like. My mama took her to a bakery last time she came to visit and she's obsessed now. I can't bake for shit so I think we've hit up every bakery in the city."

"And Ingrid came to your rescue?"

"I think Cub must have mentioned it because she turned up a few weeks ago with ingredients and they spent an hour baking together. I've never seen Cub so calm."

"And now you have too many to eat by yourself?"

"Way too many."

"Bring them in next time," Paredes laughs, clapping Mapi on the back," At least then the whole team gets the nutrition lecture."

"You know what? I think that's a great idea."

Ingrid follows Mapi's car home, having already bought more ingredients on the way to training so you could get right into the baking as soon as you got home.

The countertops of Mapi's kitchen (and every spare space) is already covered in baked goods, ranging from cookies to cupcakes to fancy bread that there's truly no hope in her eating all by herself, hence the reason she is constantly getting in trouble with the coaching staff.

"Alright," Ingrid says, commanding the room easily when you get distracted by showing Bagheera the lion on your t-shirt," Let's wash our hands please."

You go immediately over to the sink, letting Ingrid pick you up so you can reach while Mapi grabs the stool she keeps in the bathroom so you're tall enough to reach the countertops.

Mapi's in awe as Ingrid so easily gets you to follow her instructions. You're fairly unruly and impulsive at the best of times but you calm right down as Ingrid helps you break an egg into the bowl and stir it in with the rest of the mixture.

"Do you need any help?" Mapi's only really asking out of curtesy.

The first time you had baked with Mapi was also the last time when the cake mixture set on fire in the oven and the glass bowl you had mixed everything shattered.

"Why don't you just sit with Bagheera and look pretty?" Ingrid teases but Mapi feels it go straight through her body and she sits down quickly.

"Ingrid's da boss!" You giggle and Ingrid moves behind you to tie your unruly hair back properly.

"I don't think I'm the boss," She says to you and you shake your head.

"Are! 'Cause Mami's my boss and you tell her what to do! You're Mami's boss!"

Ingrid laughs, scooping out a bit of cookie dough and swiping it across the tip of your nose. "You're so sweet, cub," She says as you go cross eyed looking at the blob on your nose.

"Tha's what Mami says!"

"Well, your Mami is very smart. Now, what cookie-cutter shape are we using today?"

You end up choosing the star cutter and Ingrid helps you cut them all out before she puts them in the oven.

"I've noticed that," Ingrid says as she joins Mapi on the sofa," Doesn't she get bored?"

You're sitting in front of the oven, just staring at the cookies.

"It's normal," Mapi shrugs," You should see her watching the washing machine. It's so cute."

You watch the cookies bake the entire time until Ingrid comes over to get them out. You can't touch them just yet because they're still hot but you're pulled away by Mami making you help her box up the other things you made this week.

"Why?" You ask her.

"Well," She says," I thought it would be nice to give some to the team your snacks."

"But why?"

"Because your Mami really wants to share how proud she is of you," Ingrid jumps in," Your food is so tasty that she wants everyone to taste it too."

You gasp. "Can smash Tia Leila's face with cake!"

You're very determined to do that as you carry the box of cupcakes into the changing room the next day. Mapi and Ingrid lag behind with bags full of boxes.

"What's this?" Alexia asks with a laugh.

"Made bakery food," You say, tearing the top of the tupperware off," Tia Leila! Tia! Cake for you!"

As soon as she ducks down to take it from you, you slam it right into her nose.

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lessirussolvr · 2 days

Text

Don’t Blame Me

After a bad game, Alexia lets her anger get the best of her and blames you for it

you guys wanted angst - here’s angst

You wince internally when Alexia whacks the grass with her hand, the shot she just missed could have been the equaliser Barça had been desperate to get. You can practically see her scolding herself by the way she briefly closes her eyes and pinches her nose, the whistle from the ref announcing the end of the game. Barça lost.

You know how Alexia gets after these games, it’s always one out of two things. She’ll either ask you if she can take you apart and get the frustration out until she feels better, or she’ll want you to join her for a nice relaxing bath and be held by you so she can soak in the comfort you provide. With how important this game was and how pissed off but especially disappointed Alexia seems, you’re pretty sure it will be option number two today.

You’re used to Alexia being quiet on the way home, silent as she ponders the game and thinks about how they all - and specifically she - could have improved. You let her, having long gotten used to her normal routine after a rough match.

The first time you notice something is different - is wrong, is when you both get out of the car and walk towards the house and she almost slams the front door into your face with how quick she enters and moves to shut it again. She’s careless as she slips her shoes off and kicks them to the side, steps hurried as she just leaves her bag where it is and goes to the bedroom. You’re a bit confused for a moment at the sudden anger after she had just looked deflated a few minutes ago and decide to simply unload the bag for now, hoping she’ll have calmed down a notch once you’re done.

After starting the washing machine with her kit and some other things that need to be washed, you grab her electrolytes drink from the kitchen and move towards the bedroom. You make sure to knock, unsure if she might want to be alone for a moment. She doesn’t answer so you go inside, Alexia huddled underneath her blanket with her head barely even sticking out.

“Ale?”

She doesn’t react when you call out, blank stare fixed on the wall as she’s probably recounting the mistake she has made earlier.

“I brought you your drink. You should re- hydrate.”

Still no reaction so you put it on the nightstand and reach out to her, intending on gently moving some of the blonde hair strands out of her face. Her hand suddenly shooting out from underneath the blanket and whacking yours away stops you as you realise that Alexia is in a mood you’ve never really seen before. Even when she gets mad at something she’s usually quite reserved, cussing and gesturing wildly for a moment but then it’s out and she’s fine and ready to accept your comfort. Apparently this isn’t the case for now with how harsh her next words are:

“Just leave.”

You’re honestly a bit miffed by how rudely she said it but bite your tongue, Alexia is certainly not in the mood for any criticism and you know how snappy she can get after a game. Normally not towards you and you’re not happy with her starting that now, though you push that thought to the side.

For your girlfriend, football is everything. It’s the reason she wakes up and eats healthy and exercises and takes care of herself and you know how much pride she takes in being part of Barça and also getting to play for the national team of Spain. So a loss will always hit her hard, specifically because she always feels as if she could have done better.

You’re so certain that this is what’s upsetting her, that you try again to comfort her a bit.

“You still have a second chance to win, it’s not over yet. And it wasn’t your fault, the game just-“

“It wasn’t my fault?” Alexia almost rips the blanket off of her with how fast she gets up, pacing the room now before she angrily whirls towards you again.

“Of course it was my fucking fault, I missed the shot that would have made it 1:1 and given us a chance to end the game in a draw at least.”

You try to reach out, want to comfort her with your touch like you so often do but Alexia steps back and instead raises her arm to point an accusing finger at you.

“I would have been better if you had not distracted me this entire time.”

You’re genuinely confused for a moment, not understanding where the sudden anger is coming from, specifically the anger at you.

“What?”

“If you hadn’t constantly kept me here for longer than necessary every morning, then I would have continued my routine and gone to training early so I can practice my shots on goal.” There’s an intensity in her eyes as she musters the you, the almost disgust she seems to have for you clearly visible. “And now look, I let myself be dragged down by you and this is what happens.”

She scoffs, uncrossing her arms as she moves across the room to the bedroom door, almost seemingly hurrying away from you and you barely hear the last words thrown your way.

“Fucking bullshit all of this.”

You realise quickly that she’s about to go, following her towards the front door where she’s angrily muttering to herself in rapid Spanish while pulling her shoes on before she grabs her keys. The sight of her taking her car keys is enough to make you want to try one last time to solve this without her going, your chest already constricting uncomfortably with the stress at her clear anger with you.

“Please don’t go, can we just talk about this? It’s just one game, you can catc-“

She scoffs again, a frosty look in her eyes as she musters you.

“To you it’s just a game. To me it’s everything. You might be happy not having any aspirations in life beyond going to work and going back home, sitting around on your couch all day. I don’t. I have a responsibility to my other teammates and to the fans and I let all of them down today, simply because you were being so needy. If you hadn’t constantly distracted me and kept my mind somewhere else then I would have been better prepared and we would have beaten them today.”

She shakes her head, covering her eyes with one hand for a moment and the next words are enough to make any protest die on your tongue:

“I should have never gotten together with you.”

With that, she’s gone. The sound of the door slamming shut behind her seems to echo for a moment as you can’t hear anything but your laboured breath and racing heart. Did she just break up with you? Would she even come back? She took her keys, if she’s driving with her car then she might just sleep over at her sister’s house, preparing for the breakup. Or maybe just trying to finally get away from you.

Your legs almost feel mechanic as you move towards the window which is facing towards the front of the house so you can check, over a minute having already passed. Alexia’s car is indeed gone.

Usually when she needs a moment during a fight she assures you that she’ll be right back, that she just has to take a breath for a second. And she’ll only ever go by foot, telling you to call her if you need anything.

She didn’t do any of that today, simply leaving and also using her car to drive. Probably so she can get more distance between you two.

It takes almost another minute of staring at the empty spot where her car usually parks until you realise the whole situation, your brain finally catching up with the ugly words she had thrown at your head.

She blames you. The whole time you had thought she was just struggling with the stress of the game and feeling responsible and that’s why she was so short with you, but no. She just blames you for it.

Your feet are beginning to get cold with how long you’ve been standing motionless in the hallway and only once the tears start to blur your vision do you finally realise that she probably had just broken up with you. Why else would she leave like that, specifically after she had said that she regrets ever getting into this relationship with you.

Since this is Alexia’s house anyway and you’re not officially moved in you know that it’s probably inappropriate for you to stay here any longer. You just have some things of yours scattered here anyway since you two love spending time together every opportunity you get. Or at least you had thought so.

Your thoughts are circling around her words while you start to walk from room to room and grab your stuff. Your toothbrush in the bathroom along with your shampoo, conditioner and shower gel and some skincare, then your charger and your headphones on the living room table. You also get the very few clothes you left at her house, usually preferring to put her stuff on anyway.

Meanwhile you go through every moment these past weeks you two had spent with each other. Had you really stopped her from training? You had never told her to stay in bed or attempted to keep her in any other way. Sure you might have cuddled up to her when she was about to leave but that wasn’t really a conscious choice since you were still mostly asleep during that. And she also could have easily pushed you off if she had really wanted to go. Right?

You also hadn’t stopped her from watching the matches of opponents over and over. Most nights were filled with sitting on the sofa in her arms while she occasionally scribbled something onto the paper. You had never really done anything to keep her from doing that, even though you would have liked to spend some more time together where she wasn’t busy with football.

All in all you wouldn’t say that you had ever been the huge issue and had stood in her way of achieving her goals - but Alexia apparently thought so and that stung. Maybe she had already felt it for quite a while and now the truth had finally slipped out, a thought that made you even sadder. Had she just been annoyed with you this entire time and had hoped that you might go home so she doesn’t have to deal with you?

Whatever it was, she had made pretty clear that you weren’t welcome here anymore, so - eyes still awfully blurry and one shoulder hurting a bit from the weight of all of your things in your handbag - you took the necklace with the little A off of you and placed it onto the kitchen table.

Alexia had gotten it for you only a few weeks after you two had started dating. That had been months ago now and you had never, not once, taken it off. The happy smile on your girlfriend’s face whenever she saw you wearing had been priceless.

You tried not to look around too much while putting on your shoes, not wanting to make yourself even sadder by finalising that this would probably be the last time you had entered her home and apparently also the last time you had seen Alexia.

You only hesitated for a moment before opening the door, stepping through. And with a heavy heart but certain that she would prefer if you were gone, you closed it behind you again, walking back towards your own home.

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lessirussolvr · 2 days

Text

Text or Call? || alexia putellas x reader

prompt: At the 2019 World Cup you meet Alexia, what happens at the 2023 World Cup.

warnings: uswnt!reader, instances of angst but a happy ending

“The United States look to continue their powerful regime and earn a fourth covenant star on their jerseys.”

It was the somewhat mantra of this year’s major tournament, building the pressure to perform well to the highest magnitude. There was an expectation of excellence surrounding the team months leading up to the tournament, with new eyes joining the march nearly every day, boosting the US to new heights.

The 2019 Women’s World Cup had been set and it was imperative that the United States go back-to-back World Champions, you could see the newspapers now as it seemed it was somewhat written in the stars for the United States. The pressure to play well was there, and you couldn’t let down your country on the national stage. The prevailing narrative casted an array of self-doubt and anxieties into you, and you couldn’t deny the lingering thoughts of what-ifs. What if you don’t play well? What if you don’t win?

You’d spent countless years preparing for this opportunity, moving through the USWNT age groups with ease and then battling to make the senior team roster. You’d been playing professional soccer for a couple years right out of college, playing for a few different NWSL teams throughout your career. A few international assignments scattered along the schedule leading up to the World Cup proved you were worthy of such call-up and when the roster was announced, you’d managed to escape with a spot.

The media’s outrage was uncontrollable, claiming other national team members deserved your earned spot more than you, the constant outpour of hatred flooded your social media, it was hard to ignore, just like the dark cloud that casted over you as you landed in France to begin the tournament.

The group stage had gone swimmingly, the United States proved once again why they were a threat and seemingly looked to breeze by competition. The roster was filled with the highest of talent but still you’d managed to find minutes on the pitch, only causing increased negative media. One bad pass or one bad movement made you feel each and every ruthless word that the fans spewed online, it was uneasy to escape the anxious feeling you felt each time you played.

Your national teammates tried to shield you from the hatred online, but you saw it, and throughout select moments of the tournament, you felt yourself desperately trying to prove them wrong, but your head was clouded and your mind was on overdrive, your apparent distractedness was only hurting your game.

With an upcoming knock round game versus Spain, you seeked to play your game, play the game you loved with every fiber in you, play with the seemingly carefree nature that set your game apart from your teammates. The same energy and joy you played with during the NWSL season that had initially brought your name up to Jill, you needed to return to yourself, you needed to play for yourself and not listen to what hundreds of people said behind anonymous screens.

The match against Spain in the midfield looked to be a challenge you welcomed, matched up directly across Alexia Putellas, a woman near your age who had been streamlining a new era of Spain dominance and prolonged success of Liga F’s Barcelona team.

You’d yet had the chance to meet the brunette in person, but seconds before kickoff you couldn’t deny the effortless beautifulness the midfielder had. Her fixed concentration and aura was undeniable, there was something enticing about her that you clearly didn’t have time to ponder on as the whistle blew and the game had begun.

The US managed to strike first but an untimely mistake that Jenni Hermoso quickly countered on and the score was tied 1-1.

A wave of up and downs on both sides left the match up in the air, both sides fighting desperately to move on. You’d spent most of the match marking the vital number 11 for Spain, she moved rapidly down the pitch, excelling at such rate that you questioned if she was human or not, her stamina never withering. Alex had sent you a narrow ball on the route down the right side, forcing an untimely challenge from the Spaniard you’d been eyeing all game. You’d felt every spike of her cleat in your ankle, immediate pain coursing through the bone.

“Lo sien- I am sorry.” She spoke with a clear apologetic tone, crouching down to meet your eyes. Her eyes were piercing up close, an assortment of different brown and hazel tones that fit her perfectly. “Are you okay?”

You’d sent her a swift nod, using her extended arm to help assist you up. Her breathtaking eyes peered down to you ankle, searching for any sort of extra concern. You moved your ankle in circles, the pain dwindled a bit and you were ready to compete again. Alexia let out a breath she wasn’t aware she was holding in, thankful she hadn’t hurt you for her idiotic attempt to stop your path to a goal to put the US back on top.

“All good.” You explain, sending her an appreciative smile for helping you up and jogged backwards a bit to resume play. You’d understood the tackle wasn’t malicious or targeted, she was simply trying to win the game, you couldn’t blame her efforts as you would have done nearly the same.

Throughout the rest of the match, you’d found yourself stationed within close distance of the midfielder, her feet always seemed to attract the ball from her teammates and her vision for the game sent you running yards to continue to track the ball down. She made her passes look effortless, slicing through defenders with ease and her dribbling technique to create space was incredible, you would have been in full awe of the brunette if you weren’t in the middle of a vital match.

Luckily a penalty had been awarded to the United States and the US were now ahead 2-1 and you desperately begged for the final whistle to blow. Your wish came true not much longer and the US moved on to the next stage. Spain gave a valiant effort, exposing the weak parts of the US game which you were sure the opponents were watching. After a brief celebration, your legs seemingly moved without your own account, moving until you were inches away from the Spain number 11, the midfielder that had suffocated your thoughts nearly all game. Before you could really think, your arm peered out and tapped the midfielder on the shoulder.

“Good game.” You told her when she turned to you. “Jersey swap?”

Her once focused eyes now red-rimmed as tears threaten to fall from her eyelashes. It broke your heart in an indescribable way and you’d just nearly met the girl 90 minutes ago, but there was something alluring about her, she was a future powerhouse of women’s football and there was a sort of fascination that bubbled in you about the brunette.

She nodded and quickly discarded her jersey and handed it to you, “Good game as well.”

You couldn’t deny, Alexia Putellas was built by God himself, her features chiseled and muscles defined, you couldn’t help but stare for a few seconds before she put your jersey on, the heat certainly rising to your cheeks placing a warm blush across your face.

“See you around Putellas.” You told her as you walked toward where your team stood in the middle of the pitch conversing with other members of the Spain team.

The celebrations rang through the changing room, everyone congratulating one another on a solid performance and another checked off box towards back-to-back world cup wins. The time difference in France had certainly caught up to you and the efforts of the match meant your sore limbs desperately needed relaxation, so you headed back towards the hotel, leaving your national teammates who you knew would be partying until the sun eventually came up the next day. You’d swiftly changed out of your new Spain jersey and settled for a casual grey sweatsuit combo.

Entering the hotel, you made your way towards the elevator, but something, or someone, piqued your interest. The all too familiar girl you’d spent the last 90 minutes chasing around, now sat in the hotel bar. She was dressed in similar clothes as you, nursing a small glass of wine alone. You’d recognized the back of her hair immediately, you’d constantly been behind her most of the match as her speed was unrivaled. Her hair now escaped the bun it had during the game and cascaded along her back. She was beautiful in the bun, but something about her hair down made your heart skip a beat, she was breathtaking, even from the back.

Once again, your legs drove you forward, tiredness forgotten, you were incredibly infatuated in the midfielder and you desperately wanted to know her, understand her. There was something unexplainable about her that you couldn’t pinpoint that drew you in.

“Can I sit?” You asked timidly. The position you know found yourself in was sticky, you didn’t think about the fact that your country had just knocked hers out of the World Cup and there was a high possibility that she wanted nothing to do with you, the brutal obvious thoughts now entered your mind when she didn’t immediately answer.

“I’m sorry, I’ll go.” You told her as you made your way to leave.

“No, stay. You can sit.”

You turn your head at the familiar voice, settling in next to Alexia on the barstool to the right of her.

“You don’t deserve the hate you get online you know.” She spoke, breaking the awkward silence.

“Thank you, and if it’s any consolation, you and your country did play well today.”

She simply nodded in agreeance, taking a slow slip of her red wine. You and Alexia fell into an easy conversation when you asked about her journey, and then when she asked you about yours. The talking flowed effortlessly and you slowly found the girl in front of you coming out of her shell. She was easy to talk to and even after experiencing the loss she did today, she was quite humorous. The laugh that fell from her lips was intoxicating and you slowly found yourself melting around the Spaniard with every passing second.

During one of your national teammates stories where you described an amusing event at training during the group stage, the pads of her fingers briefly stroked your shoulder and even through your sweatshirt, you could feel her electric touch, something was growing between the two of you in that dimly lit hotel bar.

Glancing down at your watch, you realized you’d spent nearly three hours in the bar, talking with Alexia. Your once tiredness completely vanished when you saw the girl, but now the weight of your activities of the day now hitting you like a truck and a small yawn escaped your lips unwillingly.

“You should probably get some sleep.” She whispered. “But here.” She tore off a piece of the napkin that held her wine glass and jotted down her number for you. “Text or call after the tournament, yeah?”

“Of course, Alexia. Thank you for tonight.” You told her as you pulled yourself off the bar stool. “Good night Alexia.”

You moved to leave the bar before you heard her voice again, “Wait.”

As you turned back to the midfielder, she placed a soft kiss on your cheek, “Good night.”

After the World Cup, you’d made good on your promise and texted Alexia, blossoming a friendship with the Spaniard, and then with time, you found yourself in a committed relationship with Alexia. A long-distance relationship that relied heavily on communication, but every chance either of you got to visit, you both did so instantly.

You watched Alexia cement her name in countless record books across Spain and she watched your game develop likewise. A powerhouse couple of sorts in women’s football, and you had fallen madly in love with the midfielder. But eventually, the hundreds of miles caught up to the two of you.

------------

You replay the moment in your head every single day. From the very second you wake up in the morning to the second your eyes close at night, the moment replays in your head like a broken record. Alexia’s voice on the other side of the phone, hundreds of miles away, begging you to not give up on her drilled into your brain.

Every day that passed you thought about forming a line of contact, trying to take back the obvious mistake you’d made. But you had let her down, and the last memory of the Spaniard you had was her voice buzzing in her your head, pleading to give her one more try. The distance between the two of you ultimately became too much and you couldn’t handle it any longer, and you would not let Alexia throw her whole life away to move closer to you, her home was in Barcelona and yours was in the US.

You still smell the traces of her scent on your bedsheets. You still remember her favorite songs, the way she’d sing them out loud in the shower thinking no one’s listening. You still remember the feel of her under your palms, every curve, every line. The Spaniard still infiltrated all of your thoughts, even after you thought you’d gotten over her. You still couldn’t get her out of your mind, even though you knew you were probably long gone from hers.

From then on, you’d thrown yourself full force into your game, working hours a day to perfect your game and make the 2023 World Cup roster. A numbness had settled into you some time after the breakup and it had never left. Your main focus was football, the game that had changed your entire life, and not necessarily because of the sport itself. The game in which you had the highest of highs and low lows, the game that had brought you Alexia, and the game that eventually teared you away from the girl.

You’d watched her struggle to recover from her ACL tear and watched her proudly return back to the pitch like she had never left. You’d kept up with Alexia, peaking into a Barça match every so often, watching her excel on the pitch just like she did four years ago at the World Cup, now just more people appreciated her game and you couldn’t be happier for you her.

The 2023 World Cup had the same intense feeling as the 2019 World Cup, the pressure for the United States to win another star was at a new height and it was up to the squad to win at any cost necessary. You’d cemented yourself as a valuable member of the team and now felt the weight of what was at risk for this tournament.

You knew Alexia was going to be at the tournament, but you tried to force it out of your mind and focus on the task ahead. But there was no way to avoid her, the anxiety that settled into your stomach thinking about the girl was uncontrollable. Your mind was supposed to be focused and ready, but instead you felt numb and blank. Physically you were in Australia, but your mind was elsewhere.

The group stage was all a blur, you’d been simply going through the motions for longer than you could remember, trying to just survive. The media was even more ruthless this tournament, claiming the US had lost their passion for the game and condemned each and every national team member, it was ruthless and you simply couldn’t escape it, but your mind spewed the same things, except your thoughts were focused on the girl who hadn’t left you mind since you broke her heart.

The game against Sweden was an eye-opener, a stalemate match that even after extra time was still even, forcing a penalty shoot-out. Your team swayed together uncontrollably as your heart pounded in your ears, tuning out the crowd and trying to focus on the penalties.

Next up was you. You lined the ball up and did the same penalty kick routine you’d done every single time. You took a deep breath and kicked the ball. The ball cleared the goal post, missing the net entirely, sending the ball into the stands. You had missed the penalty, and Sweden capitalized. You’d let down your country.

Unbeknownst to you, Alexia sat in hotel room watching the match. Her knee bounced anxiously as she tried not to bite her nails, a habit you desperately pleaded for the Spaniard to stop. The match had given her heart palpitations as she shakingly paced around the room when the match came down to penalties. She watched you take yours and miss terribly, and when the camera panned to you, her heart broke in a million little pieces.

Her thumb hovering over your contact, wanting to extend herself to you again, to be a shoulder to cry on, she knew this pain all too well. But luckily, she knew where you would go.

Back at the stadium, the Sweden team celebrated and the USWNT left in despair. You want to scream and cry but you can’t, every time you want to show an emotion, your body shuts down, unable to get the numbness that has surrounded you all tournament out. You needed something to let go, to get rid of this agonizing feeling and aid your despair.

You’d made quick work of packing your belongings in the changing room, and escaped out the door as quickly as you could, getting on the team bus and locking your eyes out the side window, not allowing the tears to fall.

Once back at the hotel, you fell behind your teammates and instead of turning right towards the elevator up to the hotel rooms, you took a left and entered the hotel bar. You’d asked the bartender for something strong, something to forget the last 90 minutes of football.

“I figured I’d find you here.” You knew her voice all too well, it sent a bone chilling shiver down your spine. “Can I sit?”

As you turned towards the girl, even in the softly lit bar, you knew who it was.

“Alexia.” You try to not let your voice betray your feelings because you know Alexia can read you like an open book. Being back in Alexia’s presence was more intoxicating than any drink the bartender could offer you.

“This was a bad idea. I just wanted to…” What did Alexia want to do? In truth she wanted to kiss you, hold you and tell you how special you are and apologize a thousand times for letting the distance get in the way, she wanted to do and say so many things. She noticed your eyes were tired but still had the same fire she saw four years ago.

“Please stay.” You said and reached out to grab her, not caring how desperate you sounded, you couldn’t help it. Alexia, the girl who you had tried to avoid like the plague the second you landed in Australia, stood right in front of you. Her hair was slightly longer and you met her eyes for the first time since the breakup. She sat next to you in silence, she’d never seen you so damaged, so frail.

“How are you… doing?” You asked, swallowing around another lump in your throat, trying to get your thoughts together as you look towards her nervously.

“I’m okay.” She said, sending you a soft smile with the small quirk it always had, the smile that was ingrained in the back of your mind even though you wished it wasn’t.

Your heart thuds in your chest, Alexia was mere inches away from you and you yearned to lean over and kiss her, but you knew you couldn’t. She most likely had moved on and found solace in someone else, someone who wasn’t you.

You try not to look into Alexia’s eyes for too long, because you know that if you lock eyes, Alexia will see just how much you still love her.

“It’s not your fault you know.” She said, but you couldn’t tell if she was speaking about the match or about the past relationship. But nonetheless, you saw the opportunity and took it, and the apology spilled out of you.

“I was scared. I was hurt by the distance and I couldn’t handle it any longer. I tried to get you back but I am so sorry Alexia.” You whisper brokenly, tears streaming down your cheeks gently. You choke on your own cry that builds in your throat, everything bubbling to the surface.

“I am so sorry I ever let you go.” Your voice cracks on the last word, not knowing where this conversation would go from here, but it had to be said.

Before you can say anything more through tears, you feel Alexia stand up, a hand wrapping around your waist and warms lips on your neck. Your eyes close as you cry harder, emotions from the game combining with the unsettled emotions of your breakup all those months ago. Alexia tightened her hold around your waist, pulling you impossibly closer.

You watch as something flashes across Alexia’s face and it takes your heart in a vice grip to see the girl so confused and hurt. It makes you think back to the phone call and if you’d been able to see Alexia’s face when you broke up with her, you didn’t think you’d be alive now.

There were two broken hearts in the room, not just one.

Alexia takes one of your hands, holding it between the two of you, “If you leave again, I will not be able to survive.”

Her words hit you like a train as the impact almost makes you fall over, but you take your combined hands and place them firmly over her heart. You close your eyes and focuses on the heartbeat under your palm.

“I never want to live without you ever again.” You tell her as you hold your breath with the last syllable as you finish. Alexia kisses the small tear rolling down your cheek, The move is gentle and genuine and you reach out and tug Alexia closer.

Alexia lifts your head up to meet her eyes that are also brimming with tears, “I never want to live without you ever again.”

Alexia is giving you the power to reach into her chest and rip her heart right out again, but she is trusting you won’t this time. She leans in once more and kisses your lips, the gesture so familiar as if no time has passed.

Alexia manages the one sentence that she knows doesn’t need much explaining for you to know the meaning, and she weighs on it heavily to anchor the two of you.

“Text or call after the tournament, yeah?” She asked as the corners of her mouth curved into a smile.

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lessirussolvr · 2 days

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Close call | Lia Wälti x Arsenal!Reader

Where your girlfriend falls to the ground with a possible head injury

And ofc a happy birthday to our Wally!

Woso masterlist | Words: 1.1k

-----

“And this is why we always make fun of Wally.” Kyra points the camera to Lia, who proudly lifts up her boots and the blow dryer she’s using on them. “Blow drying her shoes, who even does that?” You watched Lia with nothing but love in your eyes, and are so focussed on your girlfriend’s proud smile, that you don’t notice the camera being in your face. “And here we have her love sick girlfriend.” You look over and are faced with the camera on your face and a smirking Kyra behind it. A blush creeps onto your cheeks as you push your hand in front of the camera.

“Are you done?” You joke as you retreat your hand when you notice that she has stopped filming. Kyra’s annoying little sister act was well known amongst the team and the fans, the vibe had grown on you as did Kyra.

“Yeah, this is perfect.” She says proudly after rewatching what she had just filmed. “Aaaaand posted.” With a shake of your head you sit down in your cubby next to Lia again, sharing a knowing look about the youngsters' antics, and the many comments you would get on your relationship later today.

Before you start your warm up, you and Lia do your little pre-match routine. Lia loved routines, if you couldn’t tell by the blow-drying her boots, and you had started one together when you first started dating. After the handshake you could do with your eyes closed by now, you take her hand in yours and jump over the sideline of the pitch. After your jumping over the line you head your separate ways for your warm ups.

The first half had been rather quiet on your end of the field, you made a few saves here and there from corners, but next to that the ball was mostly on the opposing side of the field. Just before halftime Beth was able to hit the ball to the back of the net. Even though as a goalie you couldn’t really join in on the celebrations, you clapped for Beth and raised your hands to get the crowd to cheer louder.

In the second half it seemed like the opposing team had finally found their footing, as they were advancing more and more on your side of the field, desperately looking for the equalizer.

It was when your team was playing up a little higher, that the ball was intercepted, and their striker had your team rushing back. Steph, who had made her way up the flank was too far out to make it, so Lia made the sprint back.

You positioned yourself a few steps in front of your goal, anticipating the long shot. But the opposing striker was stopped by your girlfriend throwing her full body down in a slide tackle. She hit nothing but the ball, but the striker wasn’t able to stop her run enough to stop her leg from crashing into Lia’s head.

The referee had only noticed the clean tackle, and not Lia being hit in the head and focussed back on the ball. The opposing striker had jumped over Lia, trying to get the shot in after getting blocked the first time.

You tore your eyes off of your girlfriend who was still laying on the ground, and Steph who was running towards her and pointing to her head to signal the referee that the match needed to be stopped, but the referee did not notice yet.

It took every ounce of willpower you had to focus on the player rushing towards you with the ball instead of your girlfriend having a possible head injury, and you hated every millisecond of it.

The striker took her shot, and you managed to catch the ball mid air. You immediately pointed Lia out to the referee, and dropped the ball when she finally blew her whistle. While ripping off your gloves, you ran over to your girlfriend.

Steph was cleaning the pieces of grass that stuck to her forehead off, as she was now laying on her back. You crouched down with her and grasped her hand in yours. “Are you alright?” This had to be one of the scariest moments of your life. Lia on the ground, with her hand massaging the back of her neck, after the hard hit you had witnessed just moments before.

The medics arrived seconds after you did, and you watched with a face full of concern as they did the necessary tests for a head injury.

“She'll be alright.” Steph assured you, before she headed to the sidelines where the rest of the team had gathered for some refreshments, and instructions from the coaching staff. Not you though, you were not going to leave her side until you knew she was doing okay.

When the medics were helping Lia up, your worries finally eased a little bit. The medics went to walk Lia to the side, on orders of the referee to follow the rules, but before Lia let herself get walked to the sidelines, she stopped to hug you. “I’m okay, you can stop worrying.”

You squeeze her tight, needing to feel her close to convince your brain that she was really okay. “Don't ever scare me like that again.” You whisper into her ear, giving her a final squeeze, before letting her walk off to the sidelines.

As you walked back to your goal, you shook out the worries that were still left in your body despite Lia’s reassurances. You watched her closely as the players made their way back to their positions on the field, and had to tear your eyes away when the referee blew the whistle again for play to continue.

Minutes later Lia walked onto the field again, joining back in play. Your eyes stayed on her for most of the remaining minutes of the match, making sure nothing seemed off in her movements. Lia showed no signs of just being kicked in the head though, as she was running around on the field again.

When the final whistle blew, and you managed to hold on to the lead, you made a beeline for lia. You pulled her into a tight hug, lifting her up slightly “I’m so glad you’re okay. That was so scary.”

You hold each other for a moment, before you set her down on the ground again. She smiled at you sweetly, “I’m going to need a lot of cuddles to recover from this.” Your smile grew and you nodded eagerly.

-----

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lessirussolvr · 2 days

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Secret (4) // Alexia Putellas

a/n: final part:)

| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |

When Alexia arrived at home, she thought about the next day, the next week and the following months.

She was ready to fight for you.

And even if there's no chance of ending up together, at least she would have tried.

She wanted you to be hers.

But she also knew that it would take time for you to trust her again.

The two of you had to start over, getting to know each other like when you joined Barcelona.

She was ready to fight for months, even years if that meant being yours someday.

Shy smiles

Alexia started to send you a shy smile each morning when you entered the locker room, her cheeks turning red most of the time when you caught her staring at you.

It was weird at first as you saw the glint in her eyes - she had a plan in mind - but nonetheless you accepted the small acknowledgment from her. It was a nice way to start the day. And you had to admit, catching her staring at you made your heart flutter.

Greetings and good byes

Growing up with the rule: 'everybody gets greeted and a goodbye' you enjoyed it very much when Alexia started to say 'hola' and 'adios'.

But what you even more appreciated was when she greeted you specifically.

Alexia entered the changing room rather late for her standards, most of the girls already getting ready for training.

"good morning" she said to your teammates before walking over to her cubby, passing yours, "hola y/n" she smiled, her cheeks turning red when you looked up at her with wide eyes. You hadn‘t expected that - she talked to you, in a room full of people.

"Hi" you whispered, watching the girl walk away.

Both of you had red cheeks, this simple interaction making your heart race. What was her plan? She hadn‘t approached you properly since the flower incident, was that her way of fighting? What was her way of fighting for you?

She surprised you a second time that day when she came to see you in the physio room.

In training, you had fallen awkwardly on your wrist, resulting in some pain which had to be checked. It wasn’t something tragic, but better safe than sorry.

Running through the tests with the physio, you got interrupted by a knock, Alexia appearing in the door frame, "just wanted to say bye" she smiled, the same shy smile appearing on her face which you‘ve had met many times before.

"So, um, bye?"

You chuckled at her nervousness, "bye"

"Sí, bye!" with that she rushed out, closing the door.

And like that the 'hi' and 'bye' continued for awhile.

Talking

"I‘ve finally finished watching the show, it was awesome" Alexia randomly stated as you walked next to each other towards the pitch, "I really liked how it ended"

"Right?! It was a great plot twist" you knew immediately which show she meant - the one you had recommended.

"Sí, sí. it made so much sense"

you fell easily into the conversation, sharing your opinions about the plot, characters and scenes and continued to do so until training started.

Seeing the two of you talk with one another became a regular occurrence, Ingrid, Mapi and Frido keeping an eye on both of you as they suspected something more soon, not knowing there had been already and Alexia was working on getting back together.

friends

Over the next few months, the two of you became friends, best friends if you were completely honest. and even though, both of you loved the other one more than anything was that an important step in your relationship. You had learned to start over again, getting to know each other like the very first time.

But you couldn’t lie, it was hard at times. Sometimes, it took every inch of self control… for both of you.

It was a hot day, everybody exhausted after the intense training session. most of the girls dropped on the floor, sitting there for a few minutes to calm down while they drank water. Ale was talking to Mapi and Irene while you stood there, drowning half of the water bottle. Your eyes kept glancing at Alexia, the girls shirt rolled up as she every now and then wiped away the sweat from her face.

That‘s when idea popped up in your head. With a few steps you stood in front of the three Spaniards, shielding Alexia from the sun, "just stay like that" she said, smiling, leaning back on her arms.

"Are you hot?" you asked, a mischief smile on your face.

"Are you not?" she replied, her eyes closed as she appreciated the shade.

"Let‘s cool you down then!" you laughed, pouring your water bottle over her. The midfielder gasped, one hand wiping away the water as the girls laughed, Alexia glaring at you, "you better start running" she growled.

And that‘s what you did. You ran over the pitch, Alexia already running after you before you ran into the facility, not knowing where else to go. La reina caught up to you when you entered the locker room, her arms gripping your waist before she pushed you against the wall.

With fear in your eyes, you looked at her, shyly grinning, "cooled you down, didn’t it?"

"Cheeky as always, hm?" she leaned her body against yours, both of you so close that you could feel her breath fanning against your skin.

"You‘re so beautiful" the girl admired, completely lost in your beauty, as your eyes flickered between hers and her lips.

In that moment, both of you wanted to kiss each other, feeling the blood rush through your veins, stomaches full of butterflies - you didn‘t know you were leaning in until Alexia took a step back, "this wouldn’t be right" she whispered as she wanted to kiss you just as much, "and I want to make things right." you closed your eyes for a brief of a moment, inhaling the scent you loved so dearly and enjoying the proximity until it was gone - she was gone.

date?

At some point, these kind of situations happened more often, almost everyday. Alexia caught herself wanting to and almost calling you 'amor' while you weren‘t driving to your home but in the direction of Alexia‘s house.

It was confusing for the both of you.

You loved each other but somehow it felt like new butterflies discovered the surface. You got to know one another in a different way - in a way that neither of you knew before.

The combination of the new and old butterflies caused a feeling that you never felt before. The old merged with the new and turned out to be strong. very strong.

So strong…

…that you couldn’t go to bed without thinking of Alexia- without imagining your future together.

…that Alexia was now 24/7 in your mind, or maybe even longer.

Per se, it wasn‘t different to the things you felt before but it was definitely more present and more intense. Maybe it was the acknowledgement of you as a person in training, outside of the facility and in general that made everything so special.

Alexia interpreted these situations as a sign. As a sign that now the moment had come - the moment she had been working towards for months. Now was the time to ask you for a second chance. For a date.

"Wait a moment" Alexia called after you as you walked to your car.

You stopped in your tracks, turning around, "yes?" you asked.

Alexia was nervous, you could tell by the way she played with the ring on her finger, her eyes darted around or foot tapping the floor rapidly. "Would- I would- um- I thought- maybe- um" taking her hand, you caressed the back of it with your thumb - it felt so natural.

"Breathe in, breath out"

Alexia followed your instructions, squeezing your hand for her own reassurance and sake.

"Thank you"

"Do you want to try again?" you asked, smiling lovingly.

"Sí" she took a deep breath, "do you want to go on a date with me?"

In trance, you pulled your hand away, stepping back, "I’d like to take you out to the restaurant Frido suggested"

"Take out?"

"Yes- wait no! I mean- eating in the restaurant"

"Like an actual date?" you sounded so surprised that it broke Alexia‘s heart at the way your eyes lit up and the way your smile reached the corner of your eyes.

"Yes, an actual date. Outside of our apartments. Only if you want to, of course"

"I‘d love to" Alexia thought your smile couldn’t get any bigger but oh, she was wrong.

With confidence, she stated, "I‘ll pick you up tomorrow at 7. wear the nicest clothes you have" happily, she pressed a peck to your cheek before skipping over to her car.

You said yes!

chance?

"What’s that?" you asked, confused about the item Ale held in her hand.

"It‘s a notebook" she replied, shuffling with her feet as you stood in front of your door, the girl insisting on walking you home after your date, "i, um, haven‘t been romantic before and i-" nervously she scratched the back of her neck, a habit of her when she got anxious, "I want to be romantic." her cheeks covered in a blush. You raised a brow, even more confused - what was going on..?

She pressed a kiss to your cheek instead of answering your questioning look, hurrying away before you could say anything.

Rushing inside, throwing your shoes somewhere, you quickly got comfortable on the couch. As you opened the little notebook you were met with Alexia‘s handwriting.

20th August

Today, I started. I smiled at her - she returned my smile. My heart fluttered at the sight of her, she‘s so gorgeous and her smile is so incredibly breathtaking. It wasn‘t her There-is-a-puppy!-smile (which is one of my favourites) or the bright wide smile that reaches the corner of her eyes (which I absolutely love) - it was much more than that. For me, it felt like a chance.

28th August

I can‘t help but drool at the sight of her. Especially after a won game. She‘s my Barcelona.

12th September

I said hi and bye today. Bye turned out to be a lot harder because she fell in training and hurt herself. It was very hard for me not to approach her then and there, I was so worried. Her nose scrunched up in pain when her wrist was touched or she tried to move - I hate seeing her in pain.

I hope she doesn’t think I’m weird because I disturbed the physio tests, I just wanted to see her (and of course, say adios).

13th September

I love her.

Entries like that filled the book, every step (and achievement) in her plan was documented and sometimes there were just adoration entries - pages about how pretty you are, what she likes about you, what you love, your character and habits described down to the smallest detail and so much more. It was clear to say that she loved you. And that she regretted everything (pages of explanations, apologies and regret showing that very clearly)

Two entries caught you off guard though, you didn’t know if you wanted to laugh or cry.

1st March

Dear diary - I guess it‘s a diary, isn‘t it? Correct me if I’m wrong..

Anyways.

Dear diary, it‘s almost midnight at the moment and Mapi just left. I had invited mama, alba and Mapi for dinner tonight, I had to talk to them about y/n. I should have done that ages ago but better late than never?

I told them about y/n, that we were a couple, that I kept her a secret, offered Alba money to keep her mouth shut - I told them everything. No, I’m not proud about how I treated the love of my life but they needed to know. I had to talk to someone. I have told mama about her before that already, not everything but she knew enough to know that I fucked up badly. Now, all of them know everything (not that we had sex, a lot of that too - just the.. yeah I think you get the point).

I want inner peace and it‘s already hard enough without her in my life, so that was the least I could to do to come in terms with myself, even though I will never forgive myself or won‘t regret it for the rest of my life.

Mama was not happy with me but I didn’t expect something else. She hadn’t raised me to be an ass and is very disappointed in me. I can’t blame her.

Alba was quiet most of the time, i think she is the one who understands most. My sister was the first and only one who knew about y/n. She saw what an idiot I was and how rude I acted towards the girl I love. I offered her money - how pathetic…

She got under my skin while she flirted with y/n and she knew that. She made me purposely jealous. And I deserved to feel that rage because I let y/n slip out of my hands while I knew that she loved me more than anything.

Mapi stayed here the longest, because I told her about my plan on winning my girl back. I want her. I need her. I don‘t deserve her, I truly don‘t but I can’t stop trying, can I? I‘m in love with her, I’ve never felt something so strong for anyone before. It scares me.

Mapi isn‘t proud of my behavior either because she knows what a ray of sunshine and pure soul y/n is but is willing to help when i need her.

…

22nd April (today’s date)

I‘m sorry for everything. There hasn’t been a day where I’m not regretting letting you walk through that door.

I hate myself for being so scared, selfish and rude but I love you. I love you with all my heart and every inch of my body - that hasn‘t changed.

You are probably surprised about the change of perspective who I’m talking to but I know you are clever, you know I’m talking to you, y/n.

Or questioning why I’m even addressing it to you, but i think, you will know me the best when you read all of my thoughts. It’s hard for me to let my walls down, I know you know that, and I want to give you the chance to see all of me to the time you weren’t my girlfriend and understand the reasons of my actions to- well, everything.

Right now, it‘s an hour before our date and I’m so nervous yet so excited. I want to make things right. I don‘t want to hide you, I want to show the world how incredible and gorgeous you are and how in love I am with you because I am. I think about you all day everyday. It might sound crazy but you are the one for me, I’ve Imagined our wedding multiple times, little y/n‘s running around calling for their mama.

I love you, I really do.

And no matter the outcome of this date, I will always love you, even when we don’t end up together. I promise you to love you from afar and forever so. And if you should ever not have a home - mine will be forever yours. I will always let that door open for you..

Happy ending?

Alexia took you out on multiple dates: the beach, mini golf, the cinema, every romantic place she could think of. She didn‘t hide you and the attention you got from her was making you feel special.

You felt free.

You felt happy.

You fell in love with her all over again.

And you enjoyed every second of it.

The romance you always dreamed of became your reality. It was different than before with her. You both were full of life. It felt natural to hold hands as you walked down the streets, share kisses in the rain, or have a hearty argument in the restaurant over who paid for the meal (spoiler: la reina always won) yet things weren’t official. Alexia had the question resting on her tongue, not sure if it was right to ask you. She wanted to, she really did, but in the back of her mind, she always heard a voice "you‘re not good enough. You‘ve fucked up before. She‘ll never give you another chance" however Alexia wasn‘t the same - she wasn’t scared anymore. She was ready to show everybody how in love she was with you. She couldn‘t care less what the media would say about the two of you being together or what other people think about you.

She just wanted you.

So, she fought against the urge to believe the voice in the back of her head. She was stronger than that.

Your body was leaned against Alexia, her arms snuggled around you as your legs tangled together, her head resting on your shoulder as you watched some netflix show. The atmosphere was quiet and relaxing, the moment seemed perfect.

"I never want to let you walk through that door again, at least not without me holding your hand" she whispered, her grip tightening around your waist, "I’m forever sorry that I ever did, I promise."

Your heart stopped, everything before hadn’t been brought up since her shy smiles - the start of something new - "if you let me, I will show you every day that you‘re not my secret. That you are my girlfriend"

turning in her hold, you looked at her. Had she fought enough? Did she deserve to be forgiven? Will it be the truth that you won’t be her secret?

She showed you.

"Are you asking me to be your girlfriend, la reina?" you asked, smiling, pushing all the negative thoughts away.

She deserved another chance.

"Sí"

It will be the truth.

"Then ask me"

"Will you be my girlfriend?" her heart stopped beating, her hopes high for a positive responds, her nerves at its highest.

"Yes"

Relief washing over her as she heard the answer.

no secret

The girls knew right away that the two of you were a couple as you walked into the locker room with intertwined hands.

In training, Alexia would stay close to you, preferably touching you (an arm around your shoulder, hand resting on the small of you back, etc) and constantly engaging you in a conversation.

"Finally asked her out, hm?" Ingrid teased Alexia as she stood next to Mapi, Ale‘s hand tightening on your waist. While the Norse‘s comment was meant innocently, the three of you froze - Ingrid still didn't know the whole story.

"Yeah, took me a bit to realize that she’s special" Alexia said, eyes finding yours. Her eyes were questions marks - are you alright? was this okay? In responds, you quickly pecked her cheek.

As you turned back to Ingrid and Mapi, you left Ale’s touch, throwing an arm around your best friend, "What about a double date?" you asked excitedly, knowing the Norwegian woman would agree in an instant.

In the background, you heard Mapi groan, playfully shoving your girlfriend, "I’m blaming you for this" as she listened to Ingrid and you planning where you would go. Nonetheless both Spaniards followed you to the changing room like lost puppies, eyes full of hearts as love glowed around them.

It was save to say, that double dates became a regular occurrence.

"Amor? Can we talk about something?" the girl looked up from her dinner plate.

"Don‘t you like it?" you asked, referring to the new recipe you had tried.

"No, it’s delicious" she put down her fork, hand reaching for your free one, "mama invited us for dinner" she said in a gentle voice, "do you want to go? I told her, I want to talk to you about it first before I say yes. In case, you don‘t want to"

"Do you want to go?" you questioned, unsure if she wanted this as much as you did.

"Yes, I’d like you to meet my family officially. As my girlfriend."

This moment showed you that you weren’t her dirty secret anymore - not at all.

"Only if you‘re okay with that, of course" she squeezed your hand, letting you know that you can say 'no' if you weren‘t comfortable "we don‘t need to rush anything" as she wanted to do everything at the pace you set.

You were her first priority.

"Does your mother like wine?" you answered, agreeing to have dinner with her family while you felt the excitement rush through your body.

"My family loves you, amor" Alexia said as the two of you were in the car on your way home from dinner. Her hand rested on your thigh as yours rested on top of hers, "you think so?"

"Sí, claro. You‘re perfect" lifting your hand, she pressed a kiss on the back of it before settling back down, your cheeks turning red.

After awhile of comfortable silence, you broke the tranquil atmosphere "You know, we‘ve never talked about the notebook" you whispered. You didn’t know why the words left your mouth but you couldn’t take them back either. In fact, you wanted to talk about it ever since you had read the pages full of information, thoughts and love yet never had the courage to bring it up. There was no reason to do so, Alexia was your girlfriend, you had read about her build up plan on winning you back, all the things she loved about you and the pages of regret and disappointment.

She knew that this day would come eventually - always wondering when. It had been awhile since she had given you the booklet.

"I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, I just want you to know that I really appreciated- still do the gesture of getting to know you in a way that I didn‘t know before."

She was very grateful that you didn't want to discuss the topic any further as she was still slightly embarrassed about all the feeling she had exposed in that book. But she also knew that the day would come where the both of you would have a very detailed conversation about every written word in there.

"Maybe one day we‘ll have a home where nobody had walked through that door and where you would never have to leave the door open for me." you whispered, smiling softly before looking out of the window at the night sky.

Alexia knew immediately what you were talking about

'I promise you to love you from afar and forever so. And if you should ever not have a home - mine will be forever yours. I will always let that door open for you..'

and what you were implying.

So, with the moon shining, the stars lighting, she promised that one day a shared home would be reality.

"I‘ll let the lights on instead" she chuckled, remembering the multiple times you‘d walked into something in the dark.

Ps. the internet went crazy when Alexia posted a picture dump of you on your first anniversary (finally confirming the rumours)

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lessirussolvr · 2 days

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she's with me || alessia russo x reader ||

alessia gets jealous when you befriend the new arsenal signing.

alessia's jaw was clenched as she watched you run around with the newest signee. you had been at arsenal for years, long enough to be the unofficial leader of the welcoming party. whenever alessia had signed, you had been the first one at the training grounds to let her into your group. it was customary for you to do with anybody who was new, but this time, alessia was taking it personally.

it wasn't your fault, not really. alessia wouldn't have even gotten upset if katie had unhelpfully pointed out your past relationship with the new player. alessia hadn't even known that the two of you had dated at first, but katie apparently knew all about it. in fact, she had told alessia everything that she could just to fuck with the tall blonde.

"less, babe, do you want to come out tonight with the rest of the girls?" you asked. there was a hopeful look on your face. alessia had been in a piss poor mood, especially around the rest of the girls. it was why you had, admittedly, been avoiding her. the two of you hadn't even been spending all of your normal alone time together because of alessia's behavior.

"of course i do, why wouldn't i?" alessia asked you. she seemed distracted, and you noticed how her gaze was still partially on your ex. it was nice to be friends with her again, despite how badly the relationship had ended. you wanted to explain to alessia that you'd never in a million years get back together with the other girl, but you doubted that alessia would have listened to you.

alessia liked to claim that she was above getting jealous, but you knew different. in fact, the more that you thought about alessia's recent behavior and your newly rekindled friendship with arsenal's new girl, you realized that alessia was jealous. she had been jealous, but instead of saying something and communicating, she had decided to throw a big, stupid tantrum.

"well, with the way you've been lately, i wasn't sure. i thought i'd check. if you weren't going to go, i was just gonna let em give me a ride." you knew that it was wrong, but you couldn't help yourself. riling alessia up was just too easy, and it must have been an irish trait to love doing it because you were sure that katie was at the root of this problem. she had been the only one on the team to know just how mad you had been for your ex.

…

"damn, if they get any closer, i think we'll get kicked out." alessia's face set into a frown as she looked over to where leah was pointing. there was a group of girls dancing with you, but alessia's eyes zeroed in on the way that your ex held onto your waist. it was far more tame than how katie was grabbing your body as she ground your ass against her hips, but alessia didn't care.

"i should go get her," alessia said. she tried to get up, only to be held back by sab and lotte. "they'll give someone the wrong idea dancing like that. i don't want anybody to think (y/n) and emily are together."

"emily isn't the problem. foord, go get your girlfriend!" leah called out. with katie being pulled away, alessia's attention was forced onto the only person touching you still. she sat there with leah keeping her down for an agonizingly long time. alessia was glad when the song ended and you came over to the table for a drink break.

"less, baby, are you okay?" you asked as you sat down in her lap. she didn't answer you, instead opting to pull you by your hair into a kiss. she knew just where to grab to get you moaning and whining into her mouth. it was a big show, one that had leah pushing the two of you out of the club. "what was that about? i'll tell katie to tone it down next time."

"better yet, tell that other girl to keep her hands off of you. you're mine now. she had her chance, and she blew it. not my fault that your taste improved with age," alessia said. she had never sounded so cocky before. normally, that sort of thing was a huge turn-off for you, but with alessia, you found yourself loving it.

"calm down, like you said, i'm yours now. you don't have to get aggressive with her, okay?" you placed your hand on alessia's chest as the two of you stood outside. she nodded as she took your hand in hers, but that didn't change the look in her eyes as she looked at you.

alessia looked at you like you were going to be her last meal. the intensity of her gaze didn't falter once on the way home. if anything, it seemed to grow in intensity as the two of you got closer to her place. you thought that alessia's stare was going to melt your clothes off by the time that you were walking through the front door.

"get back to the bedroom, i'll be there in a minute," alessia ordered you. there was a moment when you hesitated, prompting alessia to slap your ass as she turned you towards the hallway. you walked forward, cheeks burning red as you did. alessia followed you in a couple of moments later, dropping a couple of water bottles on the bedside table as she made her way over to you.

"are you going to get the strap?" you asked. alessia shook her head as she started to strip out of her clothing. you swallowed thickly as her body was revealed to you, something that never ceased to amaze you. "fuck, less."

"come here and turn around," alessia ordered. she was being very demanding, which you normally would have had a bit of a problem with. instead, you found yourself almost giddy about the way that she was telling you what to do. "your ass looks amazing in this skirt."

"thank you baby," you told her. she placed a gentle hand on your back, pushing the bottom of your crop top as she did. "you looked hot tonight. i wished you would have danced with me."

"this is much better than a dance, i promise. i'm going to make you feel so good, just relax." alessia placed a kiss to the small of your back. you were sure that she could feel how wet you were if she leaned in a little more, but alessia was careful to keep her distance. "can i touch you? i want to have a taste of what's mine."

"fuck less, you can always touch me," you told her. alessia smiled as she pushed your skirt up completely. she kept you bent over as she moved your thong to the side. the hand that had been on your back had moved down to caress your ass as alessia ran her tongue through your folds.

alessia moaned at the taste of you on her tongue. she lapped at your cunt, just trying to make you as much of a mess as she could. alessia didn't care about making you cum quickly, she wanted to tease you long enough to have you dripping down her face. alessia needed the satisfaction of knowing that she could have you coming completely undone on a whim.

"you taste so good," alessia told you as she brushed her thumb against your clit. "makes me clench my thighs to think about sometimes."

"y-you think about me like that?" you don't know why it surprised you so much to hear that. alessia was definitely not as innocent as leah and beth had you believing, but the idea of her thinking of fucking you spun you for a loop.

"all of the time, but i haven't gotten to touch you like this in a while. you've been running away from me because of your new little friend, but i doubted that she ever had you dripping like this. you're making such a mess on my fingers, one that i can't wait to clean up. i swear that i could cum at just the taste of you," alessia said. each one of her words had your stomach clenching. you were so close, but alessia was constantly giving you just enough not to cum.

"lessi, if i beg, will you let me cum?" you asked her. alessia leaned down and bit your ass cheek, causing you to squeal a little.

"you can cum whenever you want once you tell me that you love me." alessia had never been one to withhold your orgasms like that. the two of you had tried edging, but alessia's resolve had broken the moment she noticed tears forming in the corners of your eyes. you weren't on the verge of tears, but you knew that much more teasing would bring you there.

"i love you, alessia. i love you so much that it hurts me sometimes," you told her. alessia stood up and slid two fingers inside of you, pushing her hips in for a little added force. alessia gave you a couple of straight thrusts before she started to curl her fingers inside of you. "less."

"it's okay, i know baby. let it happen. i'll give you whatever you want after. doesn't that sound nice baby? just relax and cum for me," alessia cooed. her voice was soft, much softer than it had been all night. you felt yourself relax as your alessia seemed to be coming back to you.

your orgasm took your legs out from beneath you, but alessia was there to make sure you didn't faceplant on the mattress. she laid you down on the bed and moved to lay behind you. you felt her open up your legs before she started to clean you up. your body jerked and jolted a little, but alessia kept you pinned down.

"i know you're sensitive, but this is important," alessia reminded you. she took care of you, even if you didn't always it. alessia guided you into a seated position for you to drink one of the waters she had brought up. it had been sitting out of the fridge just enough to be deemed "drinkable" by you.

"you know that i do love you, right? you don't have to hold my orgasms over my head to hear it," you said as you shoved her shoulder. alessia nodded sheepishly, having felt a little guilty about it after the words had left her mouth.

"yeah, i know that you love me, and i love you too. it's just been messing with me pretty bad having your ex here, and katie won't stop reminding me about it. it's infuriating, and everything kind of got away from me," alessia ranted. you pulled her into your arms and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "i'm sorry if i've been a bitch."

"you have, but it's okay. i guess you can't be a total sweetheart all the time," you joked. alessia seemed to be glad that you weren't holding her behavior over the past couple of weeks over her head because now that she was back in your arms properly, she felt a bit ridiculous about being jealous in the first place.

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