lesbiangaybeestransform

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i am about to bestow upon you the secret butter technique. i am sorry, but it is french. i am sorry again, this only works with cow butter. i am certain plant based butters wouldn’t work, and alternative animal butters may or may not work

has this ever been you: you have a nicely steamed vegetable, or maybe you want to make the best butter noodles, but you know that if you put butter on those it’ll just melt and you end with kind of greasy noodles or vegetables? don’t you wish it was instead a luscious buttery glaze?

introducing: beurre monté

you will take a small sauce pan, and begin heating it with 1-2 tablespoons of water (use very little water) and bring it to a hard simmer or boil

turn the heat down slightly, and add Butter. how much? however much you dare. (start with 3-4 tablespoons and go from there)

you are going to either whisk Aggressively or you can pick up the saucepan, still holding it over the heat, and swirl aggressively so the butter is skating around the sides of the pan

done correctly, you will have liquid butter that is still emulsified. you have made Butter Sauce. season it with a little salt, and toss whatever you want in it.

if you’re butter splits, i’m sorry. you didn’t agitate it enough to maintain the emulsion, and now you have melted butter.

you can use this knowledge to make other sauces by swapping out the water for another liquid. white wine becomes beurre blanc. red wine is beurre rogue.

you want to CUM? sweat minced shallot in a tiny bit of butter, add white wine and cook it out until it’s reduced by about half. then whisk butter in hard. a few flecks of minced thyme or fennel frond stirred thru, and you eat that with a nice seared fish? or scallop? or even shrimp? wow. you will Nut

your boxed mac and cheese game can also be elevated by cooking your pasta and making a beurre monté first, tossing your pasta in that and adding the cheese packet. wow. hey; you’ll cum

go forth now with this butter secret

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I dislike how clumsy it is to share Twitter threads but here is a portion from a guy I follow (for his trans porn and monster fucking content at that) echoing a sentiment that aces, traumatized people, people with low libido, etc. can fully relate to. The rest is here and it’s absolutely worth the read.

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I think the cruelest thing is life giving me a taste of happiness and fulfillment and then pulling the damn rug out from under me

#yeah i feel that

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If someone ever was sucking my strap I would be able to feel it due to my delusional and hypochondriac nature

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can you share links to some of your posts about sexual morality? the link in your faq wasn't working for me

Hi yes! I recommend wandering through my #sex tag and #premarital sex tag for general stuff.

Maybe also #purity culture and #embodied theology.

(I do want to note that if you go deep far down into some of those tags, you'll find some stuff from, like, 2015 that I don't endorse anymore. I don't think there's anything I'd completely reject, but I used to be more neutral/hand-wavy about sex stuff than I am now. My views have changed over time! So check the timestamps lol)

A few specific posts:

Unlearning fear and shame around sex

What's the Bible "say" about premarital / extramarital sex?

Another post unpacking some purity culture & extramarital sex stuff

Finally, my blog probably isn't the best place to find some solid theology affirming how sex can be holy! Places like Queer Theology delve into that a lot deeper than I do — like this article of theirs about masturbation or this one about unlearning sexual shame.

There's also Nadia Bolz-Weber's work around bodies and shame.

I also remember the episode "Does God Hate My Sex Life?" of the "Lord Have Mercy" podcast being influential for me a few years ago. In it, Crystal Cheatham assigns "homework" — praying while masturbating!

I am only partway through it, but I also recommend the book I Heart Sex Workers for some theology around sex work.

If anyone else has resources exploring sex as sacred / sex-positive theologies, please share!

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Do you think in the omegaverse there’s a new, awful layer to “the talk” that teens get

#genuinely omegaverse can be SO interesting

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Kitten discovering a sunbeam

(via)

#that cat is just. a lil rollypoly #cats #q

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sometimes i just get so fucking tired of the fact that i will always have to defend my existence - my gayness - to people who want to just legislate it away

#is this abt the don't say gay bill? absolutely #i literally don't care what you believe abt homosexuality but you can fuck right off if you think you have the right to silence an entire #group of people just because you don't approve of who they have sex with #get the fuck over yourself! why is it so important that you're willing to violate our rights over it? why won't you just let us EXIST

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I can’t believe I just found out that Tolkien did a Gollum impression and narrated the entire riddle scene! How could I not have known about this?! You can listen to the whole recording here starting at the 30 minute mark. I wish he had narrated the whole book from start to finish! I would give anything to listen to that! 

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when girls like horses we call them ‘horse girls’ and mock them for their bond with giant nightmare leg-finger creatures

but if boys like horses we call them ‘future cowboys’ and ‘rugged outdoors men’

I’m just saying, I’ve met a lot more horse girls than horse boys so when the dystopic breakdown of society hits us, it’s not going to be roving bands of young men on horseback (they don’t know how to ride, they haven’t B O N D ED)

it will be Kelly from elementary school and her band of fifty midwest girls in pink cowgirl boots who have come for your resources

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men i would hold by the scruff of the neck & wash with dawn dish soap in the kitchen sink

#izzy hands.........

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you: horny on main

me, asexual: horny on side

#@ my body i know you're stressed but that is No Excuse

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why do i still have to feel this. why do i still have to hurt like this when it's been seventeen months. some five hundred days. twelve thousand fucking hours. i don't want it. i never wanted it, but it's worse now because i thought i was doing so much better. when i thought that i might be free. but i'm not. that horrible feeling that drove me into three suicide attempts is still there. it's still there. i can hide from it but it will always be there and i hate it. i hate it so much. i want to rip open my chest and tear out my heart. i want to erase every memory of her. i want to cut out every fucking bit of my rotten flesh that still wants her. i want to forget. i want it to never have happened. it would be better if i didn't know what could be. what could be. what could be. i could have been so happy and so safe. i miss that feeling, and i hate that you gave it to me and then ripped it out of my hands. i hate you. i'm still in love with you. i still miss you. i hate the parts of me that still stupidly love you far more than i ever managed to hate you. i hate my foolish weakness. i hate that i'm terrified of love because of what you did to me. i hate that i'm afraid of being alone for the rest of my life because i don't think i'll ever be able to trust someone like i trusted you ever again. i don't want to love you. i don't want this. i just want it to be over. i just want it to stop. i just want to be someone else. someone who never knew you. someone who wouldn't have given their heart away. someone who isn't as stupidly fucking vulnerable as i am. someone whose heart is hard enough not to bleed.

#dwi'n dyheu am chi

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Type these words in the tags and see what comes up:

op

wait

mom

up

really

need

tho

dude

we

#reference for when i actually listen to opera #literally school is almost done couldn't my mental health have waited two weeks before breaking down #it was a really great moment for jon in terms of character arc too #thanks 4 hitting me up m8 #the level of romance here..........op really understands #not sure how trustworthy this is (the wiki article says it needs more citation) but anyway #gosh this scene tho. this scene #poetic fuckn justice my dudes! #seriously though we need legislation that protects and supports women

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aint no condoms in my wallet girl those are ramen noodle flavor packets