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 climate change

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a relic from the archives, posted for prosperity’s sake.

the rebelious clementines

[6:57:27 PM] [A][U] RITA K VERMILYEA: “Howdy, y’all! Today’s special is gonna be one of mah old time favorites, Clementine Smoothies.” [6:58:13 PM] RessQ: Firebrand’s face formed his signature smile as he eagerly eyed the T.V. [7:00:23 PM] [A][U] RITA K VERMILYEA: The plump celebrity winked at the T. V as she pulled out a bowl full of the fruit. “I hope y’all ready with your handy-dandy cutting knife so we can get to the sweet spot of our little fruity friend’s sweet spot our to do some jucing!” [7:03:05 PM] RessQ: Firebrand felt his pants tighten with anticipation. Seeing the bright orange fruit was enough to get him hot and bothered, but seeing Paula Deen with the fruit made him cum his pants. [7:07:41 PM] [A][U] RITA K VERMILYEA: Paula continued to cut open the clementine, slow and gentle. She looked up at the camera and gave an especially seductive smile towards the audience. She licked her upper lips quickly and before Firebrand could handle it, she was done cutting the sweetness open. “Well, I’m hoping that y’all still with us now, ‘cuz things are about to get real tasty in here!l” She wiggled her hips slightly as she marched across her kitchen and grabbed a bright red juicer. [7:10:43 PM] RessQ: Firebrand practically nodded, nervously prodding his hard member with his fingers. [7:15:02 PM] [A][U] RITA K VERMILYEA: The butterwitch forced the fruit down hard on the plastic tool, causing a large squirt of juice to cover her hand. “Don’t be afraid to get a little dirty in the kitchen, now. Getting messy can be half the fun.” She gleefully exclaimed. [7:15:46 PM | Removed 7:27:51 PM] [A][U] RITA K VERMILYEA: This message has been removed. [7:23:52 PM] RessQ: He lost it. He ripped off his tight fitting jeans and boxers and sprinted to the kitchen. He hauled out a large wooden box filled to the brim with clementines from deep in the pantry. He scooped out what had to be at least two dozen clementines and ran back to the couch, dropping a few on the way. [7:26:58 PM] [A][U] RITA K VERMILYEA: He reached under the couch and yanked out the shiny, metal bucket he had been keeping for such occasions as this and snpped his head back towards the televison. Luckily, his beautiful, buttery temptress was still handling the delectable clementines. A sudden flash of Paula standing in front of him, wearing nothing but the skins of the orange-like fruit came to his mind. “Fuuuuck.” The entity was unable to repress the moan that came out of him. [7:31:22 PM] RessQ: He grabbed one of the clementines and rubbed it against his hard cock, savoring the smooth bumpy texture of the delectable little fruit. He swirled it around his shaft, feeling the little dips in the skin massage him. Firebrand fell to the floor and quickly squatted over the bucket. [7:37:10 PM | Edited 7:38:45 PM] [A][U] RITA K VERMILYEA: His eye locked with Paula’s as he rubbed the fruit up and down his body, letting out a whimper sigh. Her grin only seemed to encourage his self pleasure, even if it was from across the air signals. A renegade clementine squirted it’s sweet juice across her face and she let out a hearty laugh as she rubbed her face clean. “Look’s like I’m getting a real punishment over here!” Firebrand grabbed a second fruit and touched it to his PUCKERING ANUS [7:49:21 PM] RessQ: With one swift movement, he forced the fruit inside of his tight little asspussy, groaning as his anus muscles contracted to conform to the spherical shape. He flexed his muscles, squeezing drops of the clementine’s juice out into the bucket’s bottom. Plop. Plop. Plop. [7:56:08 PM] [A][U] RITA K VERMILYEA: “Oh god, yesss” The Collective member hissed as one of the clementines punched his prostate. His erection was screaming for attention, but not literally because the last time his peen talked to him some crazy shit happened that he’d rather not mention in light of his beautiful woman nearby. There had to have been at least 6 of the fruits burning his insides and all he could think about is how Paula deserved more; he shoved another fruit into his butthole, using the acidic juices and blood as a lube as sorts. [7:58:15 PM] RessQ: “Oh, FUCK! Fucking fuck fuck! Paula baby, this for you!” He screeched. Grabbing 3 clementines at once, he shoved them all in his currently occupied anal crevice and screamed. [8:02:13 PM] [A][U] RITA K VERMILYEA: Firebrand looked up at the televison. She let out a loud “YEEHAW!” as the blender was turned on and his heart fluttered. Oh, if only she could see him now, their love would be one of legends. He squeezed his muscles together to cause a large river of pulpy entrails to flow from his bung. Noa-FIREBRAND bit down on his lip hard to repress the loud hooplas coming from the pure orgasmtic pleasure that was his current situation. The last thing he needed was Observer walking in on him. Because seriously, fuck that guy. [8:04:56 PM] RessQ: He dipped his fingers in some of the frothy orange goop and spread it over his nipples; much like Paula Deen spreads butter on a bagel. He screeched like a dying chicken and twerked his hips to the sweet melody of squelchy sounds and plops. [8:10:53 PM] [A][U] RITA K VERMILYEA: The metal plating begame to cut at his thighs and cause a rush of blood to ooze to the already unholoy mixture that was his throne. “It’s not fucking enough for my lover!” He yelped and forced himself back and forth, making it splash and threaten to spill over. Another clementine- it had to have been at least 10 now- was added to the already overflowing rectum. A single tear came down his face. This was, without a doubt, true love. TO BE CONTINUED

[legoombaface]

death grips being in facade means this is canon

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who else can relate

[legoombaface]

Cute things to call your Little Boy

• monkey

• boo

• teddy

• mighty man

• lil' bear

• baby boy

• muffin

• tiger

• sport

• puddin'

• hero

• big boy

• knight in shining armor

• panda

• buckaroo

• jitterbug

• cowboy

• duckie

• hercules

• captain

• boo bear

• prince

• robin hood

• superman

#BUCKAROO

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its 3 am

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zodiac signs and gang memes

aries: vinny face

taurus: cluc cluc chiky

gemini: I Am Very Concerned For My Friend Nightblade

cancer: *MY BOAT COMES SPEEDING THROUGH THE WOODS 60 MPH*

leo: screaming keisuke

virgo: my sad pooping boys

libra: noseshipping

scorpio: corn

sagittarius: memebush

capricorn: bee kid

aquarius: eh llyo

pisces: chrisalex

[legoombaface]

doxxing tumblr user ress

name: ress

location: florida

occupation: probably their bedroom

go get 'em, tumblr

#crazyress

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before i forget again

#noseshipping

[legoombaface]

 i forgot one how could i do this

ever since i was a kid,m you’ve been telling me what to do

alWYAS treating em like a , kid

[legoombaface]

ey ress we got 2 new series to add to our synchtubes

MORE #BadSeriesWatchNight

Included known #BadSeriesWatchNights are:

MyBloodyMirror

Pflemming2004

JerseyJournals

P.S.

It’s not the fact that this is “no longer happening” but the fact that this happened in the first place and you were all so fine with this happening. If you didn’t want to cause a problem then why do such a terrible thing in the first place?

Do you want YOUR series up on this list?

[legoombaface]

tfw i will never be in the gang

hwo will josh ever live without having 3 minors shitposting in his facebook inbox 24/7

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CALL OUT POST!! "The Gang"

Not a boy, not a girl. What are they??? I'll tell you what they are. Dangerous.

Claims to like Kakyoin when they haven't even started Part 2, let alone Part 3

Overuses stickers in Facebook chat

Assossiates with a "Big Penis Archive" Where did they get these big penises? Why are they keeping them in an archive? Suspicious 

Impaled themself on Mussolini's giant man-carrot in order to join comrade Stalin in glorious Soviet afterlife.

Uses DeviantART

Keeps a picture of Ross from Fronds open at all points of the day 

Out Aromantic. If Ress isn't distracted by the allure of dating girls, what are they thinking about? I'll tell you. HOW TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD

Lukas

Cis white male

Have you ever seen 

Agreed with Ress that "Touch" by Daft Punk is a good song.

Promises to turn his webcam on while skyping and never does

It's bedding

Thinks Metal Gear Solid is a bad series but enjoys Jojo's Bizarre Adventure

Actually LIKES video games. What the fuck?

Rita

Has shit taste in jojo's and husbandos

Her ringtone is ripped audio from a BL Game where a guy is getting his cock sucked literally what the fuck rita

Will not shut up about lesbians when watching horror movies

There is no proof she has not fucked a lizard

Used the phrase "he totally fucked him he banged that little mpreg jesus" at one point of her life

My sad pooping boys

Hydrophobia

Not to mention that the "GANG" as they call themselves, which is linked heavily to gang violence and shitty movies, met through a tribetwelve roleplay. Do you know who watches TibreTwelve? NAZIS

Think before you reblog,

#thebusislate #crazyress

[legoombaface]

[legoombaface]

guys

if i ever see any of you in public, the code is

that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything