leatraspecalingo

[leatraspecalingo]

She went into the word of the Lord to find the Lord of the word.

[leatraspecalingo]

Kids and their brains

I shipped packages today and upon taking the receipts to pay for the service fee, I realized my cash was short by eight pesos. The officer told me it's fine, he'll take care of it. He said it's just eight pesos anyway. He probably didn't know that it meant the world to me. I smiled behind my face mask, thanked him, and went away rejoicing.

We went to public market, Tatay was driving our old tricycle. Arkin went with us coz he needed to buy old newspapers. He says they're making a volcano experiment tomorrow and he was jumping in excitement! He loves these things.

Arkin can carry stuff for me now, he's turning twelve in three days. He's almost as tall as I am. While waiting inside the tricycle, we had a good conversation. I told him about a villain from a certain mobile game called Five Nights at Freddy's - his name was William Afton. A kid named Maro from kids church told me about it last Sunday when I asked them who their favorite villains are. Maro said William Afton was a serial killer who murdered five kids. Another kid named Ysaac joined the conversation and he was so into it that he even named the five kids!

Maro through my lens. 📸

Anyway, Arkin said there's a rich lore behind William Afton's story and I said that's exactly how Maro described it. When I asked her why she likes William Afton, she answered, "It's a long story. But there's a lore behind it." I couldn't believe my ears. This is how kids speak nowadays. I could talk to them all day!

Our lesson that Sunday was called "That Sounds Suspish." It's about common expressions going around the internet that sound good but are actually false - they contradict Scripture. We looked into a particular expression that goes, "everyone is inherently good." It sounds pleasant but I asked them, do you think it's true? Is it correct? They were divided in their answers but most of them said it's false. I asked why.

Maro answered, "The Bible says we're all sinners..."

When I got home, I asked Arkin the same thing. Do you think it's right? He said no. I asked why. He said, "we all have sinned."

"...for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." Romans 3:23-24

I write about this to remember how encouraged I am to share the gospel to little children. We think our words fall on the ground sometimes but we don't realize that it's achieving something great in the spirit! The Holy Spirit is at work!

"I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring, and my blessing on your descendants." Isaiah 44:3

Me: Our good works can't send us to heaven. Maro: I used to think that way, that I have to do good works to go to heaven. Me: Same… Maro: But we just have to believe in what Jesus did for us on the cross.

Best Resurrection Sunday yet. 🤯 (except for the actual Resurrection Sunday)

[leatraspecalingo]

Books on TV: Black Mirror Season 6 and Ray Bradbury

Today, we have Netflix' Black Mirror. In the 1950s, they had Ray Bradbury.

The remarkable similarity is in their themes of near-future dystopia and the use of media and technology to make commentaries on relevant social issues. Some even say Black Mirror is just Bradbury for non-readers.

This Image is from Think Story’s Youtube Video on the Ending of Black Mirror S06E03.

I find it engaging when books are shown on TV or film not as mere props but as instruments to create some kind of a foreshadow of events. You could just imagine my joy seeing The Illustrated Man in the latest season of Black Mirror. It was in the third episode called 'Beyond the Sea,' where they dropped Easter eggs by including different novels within the story. 

In 'Beyond the Sea,' astronauts Cliff and David are in space to complete a six-year mission. They each have "robot look-alikes" or replicas on Earth that allow them to continue their life with their wives and families back home while they were away.

In The Illustrated Man, there's a short story that's nearly the same. It's called "Marionettes, Inc." One of the characters is Braling, a married man for ten years who wants to escape being a husband. Instead, he wants to seek pleasure and go on a trip. His friend, Smith, who's also married, plans to go with him. Good news for them, there's a company called Marionettes that creates robot replicas. That means they can pursue their plans while the robots stay at home pretending to be them.

All four characters from both "Beyond the Sea" and "Marionettes, Inc." are presented with a choice of whether or not to allow technology to meddle in their lives, especially for something as important as their marriages. One can already assume this will not end very well, but not because technology is in itself evil, because we know it's not.

All to say that both Black Mirror and the works of Ray Bradbury are a reflection of our present more than our future, including how our own humanity plays out in the face of modern technology and how it can adversely affect not only our psyche, but even our personal relationships.

And if we ever feel bothered while watching Black Mirror or reading Bradbury —  and certainly we will be —  it just shows how these authors and creators have done their job well.

[leatraspecalingo]

Truth in Fiction: Classic Literature

Written on Easter 2023

Before the glory of Jesus’ resurrection which we celebrate today, there was first the scandal on the cross. The faultless man was accused, and he had to die from torture.

'1984' also has themes of pain and torture. George Orwell says that we prove our love for our fellowmen by not betraying each other, especially in the face of suffering, pain, and death.

Suddenly, I was filled with idealism while reading, convinced that I would do the right thing if I were to be put to a test of love and loyalty. But it only took a few chapters for my bubble to burst.

Orwell explains that there’s nothing worse than physical pain, and of physical pain you could only wish of one thing – that it would stop. Even if that means inflicting the pain on another person instead of you having to go through it. In that moment you wouldn’t care a bit what someone else suffers, because all we care about is ourselves.

A bit offensive but it’s true. We are fallen like that.

This magnified for me the love of Jesus when he was hanged on the cross. There, he received the fullness of God’s wrath. What more, the beneficiaries of his sacrifice are the very people who put him in that situation. And yes, the rejection and humiliation from the crowd must have hurt, but my mind keeps going back to what Orwell says about physical pain:

“Never could you wish for an increase of pain. Nothing in the world was so bad as physical pain. In the face of pain, there are no heroes, no heroes…”

No heroes – it means that no man in his right mind would volunteer to take torture in place of another man, especially for a despicable one. But somehow, Jesus did it for all of us.

“Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might probably dare to die. But God demonstrates his own LOVE for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” – Romans 5:7-8

While the pain of being nailed on the cross is beyond imagination, more so Jesus’ love for us that kept him there until he breathed his last.

Love kept him on that cross until he surrendered his Spirit.

How he loved us.

[leatraspecalingo]

Mourning Periods, Corporate Slavery, & Rest

I heard a snippet of an interesting podcast episode by Joyce Pring. She talks about the mourning period after Christmas and New Year celebrations, when the holiday rush subsides, loved ones start to say goodbye and leave, and the world is quiet again. It's when reality slowly and painfully comes back as if it’s been looming around the corner, just bidding its time to remind you of work.

Finally, The Mountain.  A sign that the long travel is about to end and home is near.

After we welcomed 2023 in our little hometown of Arayat, Pampanga, my family and I had a quick trip to Alaminos, Pangasinan. It was a good four-hour drive. We left my late lola’s home very early, around 4 o’clock in the morning. Rain was pouring and it was still dark and quiet – the world was asleep. While I sit silently, my eyes glued to the road ahead, I was thanking the Lord for the unhurried time I was having.

In the past, when I was still employed, I would never have this much time. Even then, if I could join a spontaneous trip like this, my head would be preoccupied by pending work. And so the mourning period, as Joyce Pring calls it, was more intense.

What luxury, to not only have abundant time in your hands, but also peace. Both of which I didn’t fully enjoy in the past.

My year officially started in February at least in terms of my ‘commercial productivity.’ I was in a funk. And yet, I was provided by the Lord. It got me thinking that maybe this is really God’s gift that I am never in a hurry again. That I can take my time, knowing that nothing will crumble or break down, because someone else is in charge, someone far more capable than I am. Perhaps the reason why I feel so guilty about not striving is because that’s not familiar to me. I have gotten so used to putting in all the crazy work in order to live, earn my identity, and enjoy good things.

But God is giving me a special kind of rest. He opened 2023 reminding me that He is the God who saved me from slavery. Took me a while to see that, though. I’ve been unemployed for over a year now and it’s all just starting to make sense.

The good ol’days. Living the 9-to-5 life. It was good while it lasted.

I remember when I was just about to begin with my corporate journey in 2016, a friend of mine remarked, “Uy, congrats. Corporate slave ka na!” Back then, I didn’t understand.

Rest is freedom from labor. A lot of times though, when I ‘rest,’ my physical body is inactive yet my mind is sweating itself. With God, I learned there’s rest on every side. Even without my perpetual striving, I can have peace in my heart that things will work out. I am not in lack, provisions come right on time, and I am not falling behind.

Rest on every side is only truly possible with Jesus – it is unimaginable, almost ridiculous. It goes against a lot of the things I was taught to be true about life and success.

I still feel the grief of a vacation slowly ending, but there’s not much dread unlike in the past. There’s peace in knowing I have time.

[leatraspecalingo]

Humanity Meets Sci-Fi

Did you know? There’s this movement that wanted to take science fiction out of space and put it in our backyard. It’s a more literary, more symbolic, and more psychological take on sci-fi. It’s called New Wave.

New Wave came around 1960s-70s. It decided that sci-fi characters needed to have depth and should be well-rounded personalities. They could have flaws, struggle with depression, battle addiction, and just be lost.

Think Darth Vader. 

New Wave play with form, bringing a much more literary sense of style to science fiction writing, showing that sci-fi isn’t just a means to convey a story but is a thing of beauty itself. It also brought symbolism to science fiction.

New Wave also says that sci-fi does not need to have a strict adherence to science.

Words from JG Ballard, a mainstay of the New Wave movement: “Don’t give a hoot about accuracy!” At least in writing science-y stuff.

Here comes Ray Bradbury. He wasn’t part of the New Wave because he came in well before it. Therefore, he was doing it before it was even a thing.

If you’ve read through The Illustrated Man (probably my favorite Bradbury YET) you’ll find that it’s filled with a bunch of psychological issues. It touches on depression, suicide, stress, and poverty. Its stories address human themes like race, religion, and surprisingly often, family life and parenting. (Specifically "Inside The Veldt" and "The Rocket")

Bradbury’s works were filled with rocket ships and time-travel, distant planets and space aliens, but between those familiar trappings, it was really something more. It was trying to bring in the human and the emotional.

We see this tendency all the way back to what he called his one true science fiction book: Fahrenheit 451, making the argument that there is much to think about, and much to find wonder in, right here on Earth as there is out there in space.

As Pastor Joseph Bonifacio said in a podcast, “It’s not just the sci-fi that makes it work. It’s the humanity within the sci-fi.”

Link to the Youtube Video on New Wave: https://youtu.be/sjNmGzWFvUw

[leatraspecalingo]

A Reread: The Hobbit (There & Back Again)

Moon Phases, Changing Seasons, & Life in the Wilderness

I've had many failed attempts at rereading books, but at last, I made it with The Hobbit! It was a slow business, just like Bilbo and the dwarves’ long, slow, and treacherous adventure. It is nonetheless a wonderful revisit.

Bilbo Baggins is a hobbit, a creature of comfort, usually reluctant to take on new quests. He is content and at peace in his own company, enjoying the predictability and monotony of life at The Hill. But due to some unexpected turn of events, he was plunged into a journey so strange and unfamiliar, and what more, with a bunch of loud and obnoxious dudes that have no regard for personal boundaries whatsoever. 

Suddenly, the homebody was out and about. Suddenly, the lonesome hobbit was a member of a team. They are to reclaim the lost Dwarf Kingdom of Erebor from the fearsome dragon Smaug. 

In the beginning, this crew of thirteen dwarves doubted Bilbo’s courage and ability, to which Gandalf the wise Wizard responds:

“If I say he is a Burglar, a Burglar he is, or will be when the time comes. There is a lot more in him than you guess, and a deal more than he has any idea of himself.” (Chapter 1: An Unexpected Party)

I can’t help but muse on the authority and particularity of Gandalf’s words. He knows that these will be definitive of Bilbo’s future even if nobody else sees it yet, not even Bilbo himself. To call someone as particular as a “burglar” is just beyond me, and it sure was beyond Bilbo. The reason is that there really was nothing in him yet. Eventually, Gandalf's message turns into a self-fulfilling prophecy as the hobbit indeed transforms into a hero in the end.

But their victory didn’t happen without pain or struggle. In fact, it was marked with moments when they almost gave up all hope. Not to mention that it was a lengthy journey of hunger, fatigue, and depression.

“Is there no end to this accursed forest?” - Thorin.

“This is the dreariest and dullest part of all this wretched, tiresome, uncomfortable adventure! I wish I was back in my hobbit-hole by my own warm fireside with the lamp shining!” - Bilbo (Chapter 9: Barrels Out of Bond)

“It was a weary journey, and a quiet and stealthy one. There was no laughter or song or sound of harps, and the pride and hopes which had stirred in their hearts at the singing of old songs by the lake died away to a plodding gloom. (...) They were come to the Desolation of the Dragon, and they were come at the waning of the year.” (Chapter 11: On The Doorstep)

As gloomy and depressing as they sound, these chapters gave me comfort. I found reassurance in the whining and complaining of the company, and I felt so seen in those pages. It seemed like I was the fifteenth member of that crew.

After the long period of uncertainty and suffering, Gandalf was back in the picture. They finally heard him speak again after his long absence and silence. 

As they passed through the camp an old man wrapped in a dark cloak, rose from a tent door where he was sitting and came towards them. “Well done! Mr. Baggins!” he said, clapping Bilbo on the back. “There is always more about you than anyone expects!” It was Gandalf. For the first time for many a day Bilbo was really delighted. 

I was brought to tears, for what hope it has sparked in my spirit! You won’t believe how Someone’s mere presence can change everything. And when Gandalf said that things are drawing near toward the end, that there's an end to their agony and misery, I found myself crying. I eventually heaved a sigh of relief.

“All in good time!” said Gandalf. “Things are drawing towards the end now, unless I am mistaken. There is an unpleasant time just in front of you; but keep your heart up! You may come through all right."  (Chapter 16: A Thief in the Night)

The first time I read this, I didn't notice that lunar phases are all over the story. Bilbo is an experienced sky observer. The moon phases are a picture of changing seasons, and seasons end; and I had to be reminded that as God sees fit and by His complete sovereignty, things will draw to a close. 

I woke up late. Arkin, my firstborn, was up really early. And, as if God wanted to remind me again, my son told me he saw the moon at dawn and it was a crescent. He even drew it on his left palm. 

I wish to see the day when my own wilderness season ends. For now, I hold on to the words of Gandalf: “Hold your heart up! You may come through all right.”

Update. I wrote this in May 2022. After over a year, here is God’s message for me in June 2023. “Be glad, rejoice with all your heart. At last your troubles will be over.” Zephaniah 3:14-15  He really is the greatest Author of all.

[leatraspecalingo]

Oversleeping, Broken Glass, and The Rat Race

It’s a Saturday, and this morning was a bit intense, with my youngest child stepping on a tiny shred of broken glass. He was hysterical after seeing a generous amount of blood run down from the wound. There was a long negotiation; it took some time before he decided he can trust his mom not to butcher his foot. After the mini surgery (and super amateur, can I just say), we felt the urge to sleep. That was around 9 in the morning. We woke up at 5 PM. Welcome to our pandemic sleeping schedule.

From left: My eldest (Arkin), my youngest (Zion), and my nephew (Uno).

Several months ago, things would not be like this as I didn’t spend this much time with my children. In fact, they won’t even sleep beside me at night because they weren’t used to it. I was a corporate employee for five years before Covid made me rethink my life. I cannot pin down exactly what the pandemic did to my brain but I know it was good. It was beneficial.

Maybe it was to teach me that life is more than my career.

Or to show me that I needed to pay attention to what actually matters.

That I can just take each day as they come. That I can slow down. 

I’ve been in a hurry all my life, to be honest. And it took a global pandemic to let me know that what I’ve been chasing all these years are stirring me away from what would truly give me joy.

Here’s an excerpt from a book I read while I was on the verge of leaving my corporate job:

“I sometimes think drivers don't know what grass is, or flowers, because they never see them slowly," she said. 

“My uncle drove slowly on a highway once. He drove forty miles an hour and they jailed him for two days. Isn't that funny, and sad, too?”

― Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451

Why does it feel like a jailable offense to let our days pass by ‘foolishly,’ by just sitting still, watching leaves dance to the wind, sipping coffee, or reading a book? Or praying?

I have no answer, but if not for that two-year compulsory reset, I’d still be chasing days at work, desperately waiting for the weekend, dreading the sound of my alarm clock in the morning.

I’d probably miss a lot opportunities for mini surgeries.

“ The land you are entering to take over is not like the land of Egypt, from which you have come, where you planted your seed and irrigated it by foot as in a vegetable garden. But the land you are crossing the Jordan to take possession of is a land of mountains and valleys that drinks rain from heaven. It is a land the Lord your God cares for; the eyes of the Lord your God are continually on it from the beginning of the year to its end.” 

Deuteronomy 11:10-12