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lazingonsunday · 2 years

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Sugar (part 16)

Jake & Josh Kiszka x reader

18+ only! Minors do not interact!

Warnings: graphic sexual content, unprotected sex, language, dirty talk, masturbation, alcohol and marijuana use, aggression, upset, and dark themes

“Fuck, Josh…please.” You beg, but for what, you’re not sure.

His hand is braced lightly around your throat, holding you in place with an absence of force. He doesn’t need it, with you draped over top of his trembling body, back flush against his chest as he fucks up into you from below, he has you right where he wants you.

“What, sweet girl?” he breathes, lips pressed against your temple, legs curled up around you to pin you in place. “Tell me what you need.”

“I don’t know.” tears are streaming from your eyes still. Which incidentally, is exactly how you landed here. He’d woken up to you quietly crying. You’d hardly made a sound at all, but he’d heard you anyway. He’d felt the anxious waves of sorrow emanating from your soul, even in his sleep.

“Bad dream.” you’d lied, the truth too horrible to speak. If you say it aloud, you’ll be forced to face it head on. “Just c’mere and make it go away.”

“Tell me.” he repeats, kissing into your tangled hair.

You scramble to clear your head, searching for an answer just as the hotel room door clicks open, framing Jake, with a cardboard carrier bearing styrofoam cups of coffee in one hand, and a wrinkled white sack with a smiling cartoon donut splashed across the front, in the other.

He allows the door to swing closed and abandons the fruits of his morning journey on the corner table. “Well, what do we have here, sugar?” sauntering over, he studies your face intently as his brother never misses a beat. “You know how I hate to be left out.”

“Jake…” you whine, turning your face away to escape his scrutiny, feeling so completely on display as his gaze wanders over your tears.

“Don’t.” Josh calls softly, lovingly admonishing you. He doesn’t want to hear his twin’s name on your tongue right now, he wants his.

“Why’s she crying?” Jake addresses Josh, but keeps his stare trained on you.

“Bad dream.” Josh’s reply is winded and clipped, but it proves he’s blindly accepted your deception as truth, and it breaks your heart.

Is it really that much of a lie, though? This really is a nightmare.

“Aww, pretty girl.” Jake clicks his tongue and crawls onto the bed. Kissing the tracks of your tears. “Poor little love. You okay, baby?”

A nod is all you trust yourself with, but it seems to be enough, and he begins kissing down your jaw only to settle into sucking delicate bursts of warmth along your throat after pushing Josh’s hand out of the way.

“And you thought he could fuck it all away for you? Without me?” he’s teasing, but it brings forth a fresh stream of white hot tears.

“Don’t upset her.” Josh snaps with great irritation when he hears the sighing sob that slips past your lips. His hand snakes around to cover your heart soothingly.

“Not trying to.” Jake assures, sweeping his palms over your cheeks until they’re once again dry.

With Josh moving faster beneath you, the tip of his cock spoiling that beautiful little spot inside you, your head is becoming fuzzy, blanking out just the way you’d hoped it would. Jake is above you, nibbling and suckling at your skin, murmuring gorgeous, dirty, musings…his brother agreeing from below, adding his own sentiments.

You begin a frantic struggle with Jake’s belt, desperate to get your hands on his cock. To lose yourself in both of them. To forget.

“I’ve got it,” Jake’s voice is a rasping shell of what it normally is as he pulls your hand away, guiding your fingers to your slick, swollen clit. “You just baby this pretty cunt for me, sugar.”

Strangely, you shy away, like you haven’t been in much filthier positions with them a hundred times over. Perhaps it’s the emotions you’re trying so hard to stave off…

The drawl of Josh’s voice floats into your consciousness. “Do it, mama…touch yourself.”

His hand has found its way into your hair, clutching at it as though you are the calm in his storm, and maybe you are. Maybe that’s exactly what you all are, to each other.

Doing as you’ve been told, a hitching cry whines out of you when Jake slides two fingers inside your clenching cunt as Josh continues to fuck into you with a perfect rolling rhythm.

You find your ends together…with your fingers circling your throbbing clit, and Josh buried deep inside you. Jake spilling across your stomach with his fist tight around his cock, two fingers tucked up warm inside you where there should be no room left to be had thanks to Josh and his beautiful cock.

The room is humid and warm…stifling in the best way, filled with the sounds of your bodies writhing and curling together, desperate to be even closer.

You feel safe and loved between them. Cherished and protected.

If only you could stay, just like this, a cloud in both of their skies...forever.

Danny whips open the door, glancing around Jake’s dressing room as you pick through a meager selection of snacks. Does his entire rider have to be alcohol? Would it kill him to throw a candy bar or two on the list?

“Have you seen the twins?” he asks, as if you aren’t already involved with a task of your own.

“They’re off in wardrobe or something.” an idea dawns on you and you eye him over your shoulder. “Got anything sweet in your room?”

“Does Disaronno count? I have apple cider too, mix ‘em and it’s like Autumn in a glass, babe.”

“Jesus Christ!” you snap, sinking into a chair, defeated. “You’re all a bunch of alcoholics. Get out, they aren’t in here.”

He does the opposite and slips quietly into the room, soundlessly closing the door. “Alright. What’s going on? What’d they do?”

“Nothing, okay?” you feel badly for being so unkind to him, you just can’t seem to stop. “I just want a fucking candy bar. That’s all. Can you just, I don’t know…just find somewhere else to be?”

Back out the door he goes, and you almost call out to him…you should apologize – but the tears come instead. You work fast to gather yourself, Josh or Jake could come barreling in any second and then you’d be forced to lie about what has you so upset, and you detest being untruthful with them.

Instead, it’s Daniel that reappears, this time bearing a Snickers bar triumphantly. “Vending machine.” he grins, tossing it at you.

“Absolute fucking angel. That’s what you are, Daniel Wagner.” you swoon, as if he’s presented you with something precious.

“It’s both a blessing and a curse. So,” he plops himself down on the loveseat, splaying his long legs out in front of him. “Out with it.”

Your simple reply comes muffled around a mouthful of nougat and peanuts. “No.”

“You know I like you better than them.” he winks, “I’ll take your side.”

“They didn’t do anything.” you sigh, blissfully enjoying the treat you’ve been so badly craving.

“Sam? I’ll kick his scrawny ass, I swear.” he’s trying to make you laugh, but it only serves to make you cry…he’s too sweet for this whole world.

He moves to stand, no doubt ready to fold you into a comforting hug, but you hold a hand up to stop him. “I’m alright. I’m okay. I don’t want them to see me crying…they’ll ask a thousand questions. Josh won’t shut his mouth until he has an answer and I –” you trail off, gulping down a sob.

“Okay, so tell me.” he sounds worried now and with that comes the guilt. He cares so deeply. “At least tell me that you’re okay.”

“I’m late.” blurts out of you before you can think better of it, and you want to melt into the floor and disappear.

His eyes flit to the clock on the wall, “No, we’ve got time. S’like an hour before we go on.”

“No, Danny.” is all you manage to mumble, gaze glued to your shoes.

“Oh.” his back lands against the couch with a muted sound of shock. “Oh….”

“Yeah.” you nod, willing the tears burning in your eyes to go away.

The silence is deafening until, at last, he meekly questions, “Aren’t you guys, like, safe?” Right away, he thinks better of it, “You know what? That’s none of my business…”

“No, it’s fine.” you wave him off, what’s it matter now? “We are…but, you know, nothing’s a hundred percent.”

“Well, can I ask how you’re safe? Because this isn’t exactly a shining endorsement for it, and I’m trying to be a bit of a slut, now that I can.”

He’s trying to make you smile, and he succeeds…a little.

“Have you taken a test?” you shake your head and he latches on to the hope there. “See? There you go, you’re probably worried about nothing.”

“Hi, Danny, have we met?” you deadpan. “I’m the psycho who was in tears a few minutes ago over a candy bar.”

“In your defense, candy bars are fucking phemonenal.” you share a gentle laugh and then he catches your eye. “Which one, do you think?”

Your throat closes up and the room begins to tilt. “I have no idea. Oh my god, that sounds horrible. What the hell is happening? What am I gonna do, Danny? I can’t tell them.”

“Why can’t you tell them?” he argues softly. “You shouldn’t have to carry this all on your shoulders. I mean, if you’re afraid you might lose one if it’s the other’s, you can forget that right now. They both love you more than –”

“That’s the thing…” your tears are coming fast and hard now, streaming down your cheeks to converge and mingle together at your wobbling chin. “Identical, Dan. Remember? There’s no way to know.”

“Fuck…” he pushes his hand up through his bangs and huffs a whooshing puff of air out, as if the wind has been knocked clean out of him. “Okay, first thing’s first…a test. I’ll run out and get you one,” he glances at the clock again. “There’s time.”

“That’s not going to work.” you rasp around the lump aching in your throat. “How would you even get to a pharmacy? And what if somebody sees you?”

“We’re not that famous, babe.” he points out.

“There’s an arena packed floor to ceiling with screaming fans right now that says otherwise…and this entire city will be crawling with them right now. You can’t.”

You’re right and he knows it. “Alright…so what now?”

“Nothing now.” you wipe your face and rise to inspect your makeup in the mirror. You dab around at your eyes, wiping away a smudge of mascara, and then turn to him. “Want me to do your liner?”

“You don’t have to.” he sounds worried and anxious. Well, join the club, buddy.

“Come on.” you pat the chair in front of the mirror. “Let’s doll that pretty face up a little.”

Moments later, as you’re smoking his eye with a tiny brush, he speaks up gently “For what it’s worth, I think you’d make an incredible mama. Just wanted you to know that.”

“Ah, Danny…” he always knows just what to say. “my platonic prince charming.”

“That’s where you were supposed to say that I’d make an incredible uncle, but ya know, whatever.” he blinks up at the ceiling, a silent signal for you to get back to work on his makeup.

You share a soft, sad, laugh together as you lean in to accent his beautiful eyes.

The show has long since come to an end, but the onstage energy is still very much alive amongst the group that has congregated in Sammy’s room.

Tiny throngs of roadies and stagehands are dotted about the space, sharing drinks and conversation, while you watch from the sidelines, perched on a couch, doing your best not to draw attention to the fact that your miserable mind just wants to rest and slip into a deep, dreamless sleep.

“Hey there little red riding hood…” Daniel sidles up beside you, serenading you with a classic, trying his best to make you smile. “You sure are looking good…”

“You’re anything but a big, bad wolf.” you rest your head on his shoulder while he hums the rest of the verse, and watch as Jake and Josh lean in to speak to one another, back and forth, back and forth, like a choreographed dance that they both seem to instinctively know.

“You want to get outta here? Go back to my room for a little while?” he offers sweetly. “We could tell them I want to talk about the break up or some shit.”

“No, no…” you sit up and give his knee a pat. “You kicked ass tonight, you deserve to blow off a little steam. I’m fine, really.” you cross your heart to seal the deal.

He starts to protest, but the twins are abruptly standing before you. They’re so quick and silent sometimes, like sleek cats slinking rapidly in and out of sight.

“Here, sugar.” Jake presents a sweating glass of amber liquid. “You look thirsty.”

Waving him off as nonchalantly as you can, you do your best to sound casual. “I think I’ll pass tonight…I don’t feel like being on the bus all day tomorrow with a hangover.”

“Hmm.” he grunts, taking a long pull on the lowball. “How very lightweight of you, love. That’s not very rock n’ roll.”

“Good thing you’re the one with the band then, I guess.” you wink.

“I suppose so.” he winks back.

A blunt gets handed off to Josh, as a face you don’t catch passes by, and - ever the gentleman - he holds it out to you first.

You recoil as though he’s just offered you a grenade sans pin, and then hurry to recover. “Danny and I just smoked. I’m faded as it is.”

“No you didn’t,” he argues, with a confused shake of his head. “I’ve been watching all night and you haven’t so much as touched…” he trails off, searching your face for answers…while Daniel, sensing a shift, pads off to find Sam.

Josh, still silent with a confused frown, pulls his cell from his pocket to double check the date. The man can’t remember his own phone number, but he knows your cycle like the back of his hand. Mostly because he has the tiniest kink for it that he refuses to admit to.

Jake just looks unbothered, albeit slightly confused, until his twin turns to catch his eye. A wordless exchange takes place, and then Josh is pulling you to your feet, leading you out the door and down the hall to your room, with Jake bringing up the rear.

Lie. That’s what you’re going to do, you decide…because this isn’t real. You’re overreacting! You’re just a little late. No need to concern them. They have bigger fish to fry. Right?

You’re a raging coward, and you know it.

When you’re finally alone, Josh speaks first. “What’s going on, mama?”

Well, his favorite pet name certainly seems fitting to a degree it never has before.

Be cool, be cool, be cool. “What do you mean?”

“Sugar.” Jake sounds firm, boot stomping into the carpet with a muted clip. He’s read it on Josh’s face…something is wrong and he won’t have any of your shit right now.

“What?” Christ, you sound like a teenager trying to weasel her way out of trouble.

“Third week of the month.” Josh steers the three of you back on track. “And yet this morning, nothing. You haven’t had a drop to drink and you lied to get out of smoking. Now, what the fuck is up?”

Jake’s face turns white as a sheet as the realization sets in. “Oh my god…” he drops into a chair, rubs his fingers at his temples as if to will it all away, and then finds your eyes. “Talk to us, sweetheart.”

“There’s nothing to say.” you’re pacing around the room like a cornered wild animal. “Everything is fine.”

Josh, never one to exercise much patience, cuts right down to the thick of it. “What’s happening here, baby? Are you pregnant?”

You wrap your arms around yourself protectively and find the couch when your knees weaken, wincing at the sound of shock that escapes Jake as his brain short circuits.

“I don’t know.”

“Okay.” Josh strides over, bending to look you in the eye. “Okay, let’s all just relax a little and take a few deep breaths, right?”

“Whose is it?” Jake asks, staring off into space and very obviously not thinking.

“Are you serious?” Josh turns his attention to his twin. “She’d have no way of knowing under normal circumstances, nonetheless this…” he waves his hand between the two of them, “Besides, we don’t even know if…”

Josh is stunned into silence and you’re reduced to quivering tears when Jake snatches a decorative bowl from the coffee table and hurls it at the wall. It explodes into pieces, and then, like nothing out of the ordinary at all has occurred, Jake eases back into the chair…his heaving chest the only indicator of his distress.

“What the fuck?” Josh couldn’t look or sound more shocked if Jake’s head just happened to suddenly fall off, you’re sure of it.

“What the fuck?” Jake shouts, jumping to his feet while you flinch away from the scene. “What the fuck, Josh? Really?” He is now in his brother’s face, shoving at his shoulders gently, like he can’t imagine hurting him even in a fury. “I loved her first, you said it yourself…but I let you have her, just like I’ve always let you have fucking everything! And now I have to settle for all this.”

“Fuck you for that!” Josh shoves at his twin with aggression completely unlike himself. “I fucking shared her. I gave you that. I gave you both that. I’ve given everything up for you. Fuckin’ always. Whose dream are we living? Because it sure as shit isn’t mine!”

“Please…” you’re on your feet now, trying to put a little distance between them, sobbing so uncontrollably you feel you might hyperventilate. “Please don’t fight. Please, please, please…” you fall into the word, repeating it like a mantra that might make everything go away.

They watch you, with the concern they feel for you battling with the rage they feel for each other, until they step back in perfect sync, choosing you over their anger. Josh leads you back over to the couch and sinks to his knees once he’s got you seated.

He rests his head in your lap while you struggle to draw in a breath that doesn’t stutter. Jake watches the two of you with something indescribable and palpable radiating from him. Then, with a shake of his head he stares into your eyes.

“I want it to be mine…and I can’t do this anymore, sugar. You have to choose.” he whispers as if the two of you are alone in the room. And then he’s gone.

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lazingonsunday · 2 years

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Sugar (Part 14)

Josh Kiszka x reader

18+ only! Minors do not interact!

Warnings: graphic sexual content, language, dirty talk, oral sex (fem rec), masturbation, etc

*Here’s a little something from Josh’s POV for my lovelies. Jakey had his turn, so it was only fair. Xoxo

He could have given you what you wanted. Josh knew that, and you would have seen it too, if only you had looked long enough, thought hard enough.

It was absurd really, the idea that he might be so impossibly soft; weak as a southern debutante draped across a fainting couch calling out deliriously for smelling salts. That he was incapable of throwing you around a bit. Unable to toss out a degrading name or two, a vulgar order, a slip of his finger where it didn’t belong.

It was never about that, and there was the truth of it all. Jake had always been the protector, intense in temperament and fiercely loyal, he was the one who would step in with his mouth or his fists to secure the safety of those he loved. Josh, the eldest, even if only by a few short minutes, had always been the problem solver. He was the more contemplative of the two, thoughtful and observant, empathetic almost to a fault.

Yes, if there was a puzzle that needed to be fit together, a tangle in need of unraveling, Josh was the one who would sit quietly on the sidelines and figure out a way. He ran along ahead of those he cherished, unseen as he cleared paths through landmines they hadn’t even noticed up ahead.

You are the loveliest landmine of all.

He knows his twin better than he knows himself. Can feel his emotions from miles away, anticipate his thoughts and actions…he understands the way his heart and mind works as if he built him from the ground up himself. Jake is an antique pocket watch and Josh knows every gear and mechanism that makes him tick.

Josh understands you almost as well…if Jake is the other half of his soul, you are his soul mate, so didn’t it always make sense anyway? Right from the start?

When Jake looks at you…

How his gaze trails over your face when you tell a story. The way his eyes light up when you speak directly to him, a nearly childlike wonder dancing there. It doesn’t take a twin to see he adores you; but it does take a twin to feel how deeply his love runs…and Josh certainly feels it. Jake is a river when it comes to you. Calm and still on the surface, a glassy facade that lies and claims ambivalence. Just below, where only his brother can glimpse, the waters rage. Undertows and desperate currents. Rolling, rocky tides that call your name.

For your part, Josh knows you deny yourself what you see as betrayal. He knows you’ve taken whatever affection you hold for his other half and locked it up tight, way down deep in the recesses of your heart. He doubts that even you understand…but he knows.

He sees that you’re a little lighter when Jake is around, how a gentle tension relaxes out of your shoulders. You laugh a bit easier, smile more often. You send electricity into the air when he speaks your name. You’re never more yourself than when you are with both of them, and it baffles him that you appear genuinely blind to it all.

Does it bother Josh? Strangely, almost the opposite. It feels natural…you love him, wouldn’t it be stranger still if you didn’t harbor at least something for Jake? They had always felt more the same than not. If you love Josh, you love Jake…that is how the math has added up in his head his entire life.

So he turns the situation over in his mind for ages. Twists it this way and that like a rubik's cube. Circles around and studies you both, like a predator mapping out the hunt, searching and searching for a way to clear a path.

He loves you more than anything in this world, and to know that there is a place in your heart that longs for something…that will never do. And just a blink below you in his esteem rests his twin, who pines for you painfully. Josh can feel the ache like a physical pang hammering away at his own heart.

You will have what you want. Both you and Jake. Like he always has before, Josh will find a way.

A light in the dark shines one night in bed. Your bodies knotted together as you catch your breath with endearing little puffs of air and soft laughter. He pets the hair away from your dewey forehead and tells you how much he loves you.

“I know that, you know.” you smile. “And I love you, too. But you don’t always have to be so careful with me, baby. I’m not gonna break.”

Someone else might have gotten their feelings hurt, maybe taken it as criticism come to spoil the afterglow, but Josh has an unrivaled grasp on the human condition. He understands that we are all layered and nuanced in the most intricate of ways. It’s fascinating, really…and rarely meant to be hurtful.

You open up and share with him the details of what you want, and he gives you a hint of a taste…pulls your hair a bit, moves you around with a little more aggression…but he holds back. He has finally sussed out the path.

He doesn’t really want that anyway, he’d much rather coddle and cherish you like the piece of fine art you are in his eyes. So, while a plan finally begins to take shape, that’s exactly what he does. He treats you gently, carefully, allowing the root of desire to grow within you.

When he tiptoes into the subject with Jake, the shift in the air is palpable. He can almost taste the uneasy, frantic need emanating into the atmosphere around his twin. Jake is being handed an opportunity that he can’t quite grasp or believe. He resembles a cornered mouse with a ravenous snake bearing down on him – waiting for the hammer to drop, for the rug to be ripped out from under his feet.

They talk it through, with Jake clearing his throat every few seconds, and running his palms down his thighs, continuously smoothing out invisible wrinkles until Josh leans over and covers his hand with his own. “Relax, Jake…it’s only me.”

With a centering draw of oxygen pulled deep into his lungs, Jake calms and promises to think it over.

Josh has little doubt that he’ll think of much else, but he also has little doubt that he will have to be the one to bring it up again. Jake isn’t going to just waltz in and revisit the subject of sleeping with his brother’s girl.

So, that’s what Josh does. He brings it up again.

Which leads to his brother nodding and disappearing into the house and Josh driving away into the night to spend a few quiet hours in a diner nursing coffee and watching a sad looking waitress with unnaturally red hair bus and serve tables. Occasionally she holds up the coffee pot labeled ‘decaf’, in question, and Josh nods. Such a common, meaningless, interaction…but in those little moments they feel oddly connected in the quiet of the restaurant. Two strangers sharing a seemingly ordinary night.

For a split second Josh wonders what would happen if he told her why he was there. “I’ve cleared out of my place for the night so my twin brother can fuck my girl. It’s not as crazy as it sounds…except yes it is.” The thought alone makes him laugh out loud and the waitress casts a suspicious glance in his direction before apparently deciding he’s harmless after all.

He orders a slice of apple pie with a shy thank you, and then picks aimlessly at it until it feels safe to head back to the house without feeling intrusive.

You’re sleeping with the softest hint of a smile on your lips when he finds you relaxed in peaceful oblivion. He catches the scent of a shower in the air, but nothing else…though he isn’t even sure if the smell of sex would have killed him or simply rolled off his back. He is in uncharted waters, learning to swim. You all are.

When you wake in the morning, Jake has gone. For a moment, you wonder if it was all a dream, but when your thighs brush together, the dull ache between them proves otherwise. You remember lingering in a hot shower after, attempting to process, and sharing a small blunt with Jake in bed before dozing off.

Josh’s side of the bed is empty, and when you sweep your hand across it, longing to feel him, it is cold to the touch. ‘Didn’t he come home last night?’ you worry…but it’s short lived.

“Morning.” his familiar voice floats over from the chair in the corner of the bedroom. You curl around in his direction, snuggling into the sheets.

Butterflies drum about in his stomach with iron wings for a few reasons. One, you’ve always had that effect on Josh. You light him up from the inside out every single time you walk into a room. The sound of your voice is a soothing song, he can’t sleep without thinking about the way you sound when you say I love you.

Two, he doesn’t know what to expect. There is an elephant in the room looming heavily and he hasn’t the first clue how to approach it.

Opting for the observation flitting about most prevalently in his mind, he throws you a soft smile. “You look pretty.”

This is when you’re most beautiful to him; not a drop of make-up in sight, hair a halo of pillow tossed tangles, sleepy, heavy-lidded eyes.

“So do you.” you smile back, stretching your arms up towards the ceiling with a breathy groan.

He takes a sip of his coffee and then nods over at the nightstand so you’ll notice the mug of chamomile waiting there for you. “It’ll get cold, love.”

“Thank you, baby.” you sit up and sip, smiling at the pinch of cinnamon and splash of rum to make it ‘stick to your bones’, just the way you like it…then wrap your hands around the cup, warming them.

Always the first to break the silence, his question comes softly. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” you nod, blinking down at your tea to avoid the intensity of his stare. “Are you?”

“Ah c’mon, mama, you know me…” he flashes you a heart-stopping grin, “right as rain.”

You watch him wordlessly, waiting for him to fill the returned quiet with sound.

True to form, he speaks up. “Seriously though, are you alright? He didn’t hurt you, did he?”

He doesn’t mean it the way it sounds, and instantly, he regrets speaking the words into existence, wishes he could take them back, wishes he hadn’t even thought them. “I didn’t mean that the way it came out. Please don’t ever tell him I asked you that. Last night, when I told him to be careful with you, he looked like I’d stabbed him right through the heart.”

There it is. Jake might as well be in the room with the two of you for as palpable as his presence is. And here is Josh, asking you not to relay this conversation back to his brother later…as if already it’s no longer just the two of you. As if Jake has already stepped up beside his twin, filling a void you weren’t even aware existed.

Here he is, asking you to forget what he said because it would hurt Jake to hear it…ever his brother’s keeper.

“I know how you meant it.” you soothe before he has a chance to get too lost in his head about it. “And no, baby…he didn’t.”

“Did he…” he searches for the right way to voice his thoughts. “Did he give you what you wanted?” An anxious cloud casts over his expression, but in the strangest way…as if he’s upset by the possibility of Jake disappointing you.

"He did." you can't help the wistful smile that plays on your lips and you hate yourself a little for it.

Out of left field, he smiles back "Good. You deserve that. I'm sorry I can't be the one to give it to you."

But there is something else there too, a sparkle in his eye that looks almost…gratified? Like something has worked in his favor…something has gone his way.

Deciding to ignore it – you never could quite figure him out anyway - you hold your arms out and wait until he crawls onto the bed. He rests his coffee and your tea on the nightstand and pulls you into his arms. "You know you’re everything to me, Josh. Everything."

He hums softly to you, stroking your hair. The love this man makes you feel with the smallest of gestures is indescribable…but is it just him this morning? Because you feel different…you want to describe it as whole, but that seems a cruel and shameful thought.

“You’re thinking too much.” He points out, softly stroking his thumb over your forehead to ward away anything but calm.

“I’m an intellectual, Joshua.” You tease, hiding behind gentle humor. “Can’t help it.”

He ignores your half-hearted joke and tilts his head, regarding you curiously "I know how Jake can be. I've overheard more than my fair share over the years. I hope it wasn't too much. I was worried.”

A stab of jealousy sears through your heart. I’ve overheard my fair share over the years. The thought of Jake, with some nameless girl, doing the things he did to you, saying the things he said to you, touching her, kissing her, wanting her…

“Look at you.” Josh’s tone is teasing, he’s seen right through you. “You’d better be glad I don’t share those possessive tendencies of yours, little miss, or I think we’d be having a very different conversation right now.”

“I’m not possessive.” You argue pointlessly, it’s obvious he already has you pinned.

“Jealous, territorial,” he waves a sweeping hand in the air. “Call it what you will, mama.”

He wants to set your mind at ease, wants to tell you that you have nothing to feel hurt over. That none that came before you could so much as peek over the edge of the pedestal Jake has placed you on. Instead, he chooses to keep his brother’s secret.

“I think you’re insane.” you smile, cupping his face to allow your thumbs to brush over his lips. “You both are. What if I had said no?”

A heavy roll of his eyes comes just before a dismissive laugh. “Wasn’t worried about you saying no, love. Not even a little bit.”

“Just because I chose him as my hall pass one night when I was high? That’s an awful lot of eggs to put in one drug-laden basket, baby.”

When his eyes lock with yours, they level you with the truth you see in them. He knows more than he’s ever let on. “No, not just because of that night. I think you know that.”

“Oh.” Articulacy is a skill you are no longer in possession of.

“Yeah…oh.” he smiles down at you and drops a light kiss on your forehead. “You still haven’t answered my question though. Was it too much? Was he still…I don’t know…kind about it?”

First pass, kind seems an absurd choice of a word, but once it settles, it fits just right. He was kind about it. His touch was careful when it needed to be, his words soft when you needed the balance. It dawns on you only now how closely he must have been watching you, how carefully he had to have been monitoring your every move.

“He was kind, Josh.” you lift your head and peck light kisses upon his cheeks and chin. “He took good care of me.”

“What did he do to you that I don’t?” he asks softly, reaching down to wrap your thigh around his waist.

“No,” you protest, running your fingers through his curls. “Now you’re just asking for trouble.”

A surprised laugh lights up his pretty face. “I arranged for my twin brother to fuck you last night, and now I’m asking for trouble? C’mon on, mama.”

You might have laughed along with him if the way he just worded it wasn’t playing over and over in your head like an obscene broken record.

Not much goes unnoticed by Josh when it comes to you, and he falls silent with a brand new heat flashing in his eyes. “You like that, sweet girl? That I let him come up here and fuck you in our bed?”

Your entire body is tensed in effort to control your breathing. “I like hearing you say it. It sounds…wrong.”

“Who says?” he whispers, sucking open mouthed kisses against your neck.

“Probably pretty much everyone.” you giggle with a tiny squeal when he bites into your skin.

“I don’t give a shit. Do you?”

A hum is all you can manage as he begins mouthing his way down your chest.

“Did he make you cum?” he murmurs, nipping into your tightened nipple, fingers ghosting between your legs, curling over your clit slowly.

“Yes.” you confess. This should feel awkward. You should be walking on eggshells. Instead, you’re soaked and dripping all over the sheets and his teasing fingers.

“I’m sure you made quite an impression.” he continues to lick and bite at your breasts, speaking around them, watching your face intently. “You’re so pretty when you cum…so fucking beautiful. Bet he’s thinking about it right now. The way you look, the way you sound.”

“Josh, baby, please…” you need more, his fingers are moving much too slowly, and he knows it. “Please, I missed you.”

“Yeah?” he licks his way downward until the tip of his tongue is causing your stomach to cave in with every wet kiss. “Did you miss me when you had my brother between these pretty legs of yours?”

“So much…” you breathe, spreading your thighs further, begging him with your body.

“It turns me on.” he whispers into your inner thigh. “That there’s this part of you I don’t see. That you want things I can’t give you. Makes me feel like I don’t deserve you, and something about that…” he trails off with a low growl and sucks a mark into your hip as if branding you.

You bite down on your lip to stifle a moan as the grip you have on his hair tightens.

“Don’t do that, sweet girl.” he scolds quietly. “Let me hear you, it’s just us.”

“Josh, come on.” Shamelessly, you slide your hands down and attempt to force his mouth to where you so badly need it.

Your little display prompts a soft chuckle “What is it, mama?” he nuzzles the tip of his nose over your clit and then kisses it lightly. When your hips jerk, he laps over the swollen bud, smiling to himself when you whimper with relief. “Oh, that’s what my girl wants, isn’t it?”

You lift up and press yourself against his tongue, rocking back and forth on it with a quick, frantic nod.

He pulls back and licks at an excruciatingly slow clip while you chase him around with your hips, desperately seeking more until he finally drags the flat of his tongue over you perfectly. “Like that? Is that what you need?”

How you love these moments with him. The feverish want, his devotion to you, the security in the knowledge he will take care of you and make you shake apart beneath him.

Reaching down, he grinds the heel of his hand against you with just enough pressure to make you whine. “I can’t wait until you let go on my tongue, in my mouth…can’t wait to taste it.” he moans as though remembering a decadent meal, and then rests his chin on your thigh, gazing up at you.

His stare makes you shiver and smile down at him, temporarily forgetting the frenzied ache he has created between your legs. “You’re beautiful, Josh.”

He reignites it quickly with a flash of a wink. “I’m nothing compared to this angel I’ve got laid out so pretty in my bed.”

He is so wrong. In the warm, golden morning light, he glows. Dust motes dance around him in the sun streaming through the window, creating a glittering crown. His eyes, full of adoration and desire, lock in on your own and steal the air from your lungs. He grins upon hearing your airy gasp, and bats his lashes, making you laugh.

He waits a moment and then begins placing kisses along your hips before sweeping them down over your clit, pecking it as if it were your cheek.

“Did he have a taste of this pretty little sweetheart right here?” he questions, letting his breath fall hot over you. “Hmm? Did he kiss her and treat her right?”

You shake your head and will the needy tears welling in your eyes to go away.

“Well that wasn’t very nice at all, was it, mama?” He suckles your clit delicately and then draws back, speaking against your warm, wet skin. “You love it so much, and you taste so good. He’s an idiot.”

"Please..." your voice quivers with need.

"Please what, love?" He's going to make you ask for it. "What do you want?"

You curl your hands around the back of his head and attempt to pull his mouth to you. He turns and nuzzles his cheek against you instead, soaking it in the process, much to your embarrassment.

"You're so wet, sweet girl." he purrs, nipping at your thigh. "I bet I'll have you there in no time, just a few licks, a little suck or two on your pretty clit…would you like that? You must have missed it last night."

Your fingers twist into his hair and then quickly release and fist the sheets instead— you don't want to pull too hard out of frustration and accidentally hurt him.

"I need it baby," you whine softly, "Please, can I have it?"

“Of course you can, my love…” he hums. “You can have anything you want. You know that, don’t you, baby?”

You claw at the sheets and writhe continuously, you know what he wants to hear. “I know. ‘Cause I’m your girl.”

“That’s right.” he rewards you with a slow lick “‘Cause you're my girl.”

“More.” you beg as your body begins to throb with nearly painful need from head to toe. “Please baby…I need more.”

He nods his head, sending his tongue slipping up and down your clit gently "Keep going. Beg pretty for me." His voice is low in his throat, gravely, sexy as hell. "It's fucking hot."

You fuck up into his mouth harder and pant his name until he looks up into your eyes and replaces his mouth with his thumb on your clit "Right in my mouth, mama. When you’re ready, be a good girl and give it to me."

Before you can answer, he sucks you back in as a groan of pleasure rolls up out of his chest. It's then that you notice him grinding his clothed cock into the mattress.

"Does that feel good?" you ask, aching with lust and your impending orgasm.

"Mmm-hmm," he groans, vibrating a hum into your cunt.

He looks fucking intoxicating. Face flushed pink and stunning… beautiful lips wrapped around your swollen clit, eyes focused unwaveringly on your face, fucking himself against the bed, seemingly unbothered by the possibility of cumming in his pants.

"Come up here, baby." You breathe, hips thrashing wildly when he spreads you apart in response, your clit now completely exposed and on display between the V of his fingers.

"Come on, Josh, I want to cum with you inside me."

"Not this time." His breathing has picked up, cock rolling against the bed with a touch more urgency.

"Please, baby. Don't make me beg anymore." you sound pathetic and spoiled, and he adores every second of it.

In lieu of a verbal response, he raises his hand and slips his pinky into your mouth and then reaches down and inches it into you carefully.

In spite of how wet and worked up you are, it stings enough to make you wince.

Immediately, he retreats and laps his tongue where the tip of his finger has just been, soothingly. He has proven his point, you are still much too sore from Jake's merciless cock pounding and stretching you…and as much as you want him inside you, it isn’t going to happen. Perhaps his brother might fuck you through it. Might brush your tears away, call you a crybaby and tell you to just take it, and perhaps you’d love it. But Josh would never, and you love that too.

"Come on, love," he coaxes, flickering his expert tongue over you faster in tight circles. "I wanna taste it."

You moan, frantically breathing his name and praise that makes no sense, squirming and trembling under his kiss, fucking yourself against his mouth harder.

"Cum with me..." you pant, fighting hard to form the words. You're skating right along that blissful edge. Staring into the glittering void of release. His soft, wet mouth carrying you closer and closer.

He nods and you’re gone, falling apart into pieces that he holds together in his gentle hands. Everything else that has ever existed or will ever exist disappears in that moment, and you want to live and die here, in this secret place where it is only you and your beautiful Josh. Except there is someone missing now, and you can’t stay…not without him.

Josh makes it there too. Driven to his own end by the sounds you can't seem to quiet. Soft moans and gasps, hitches of breath, his name over and over. The way you sound, the way you taste, the way you feel…you are everything. You are a haunting and gorgeous universe that he wants to float endlessly across, completely surrounded by you forever.

Together, and reluctantly, you find your way back.

He looks up at you with a relaxed half smile "Hi."

Your heart stutters. Jake had greeted you the exact same way last night after you had fought your way back to him through a euphoric haze.

It reminds you of the time you found Josh passed out on the couch after a long night of Sam's shitty bartending. He was curled into a small ball with his right hand tucked beneath his chin, left curled loosely (and strangely) around his right wrist. Heading outside for some fresh air and quiet after a chaotic evening with the Kiszka boys, you’d stumbled upon Jake sleeping on a chaise lounge, positioned exactly the same.

Twin moments, even apart. Two souls so deeply connected they often merge into one.

Suddenly, it all makes a little more sense, and you wonder how you didn’t see it before. How right it could all be. How the three of you have likely been traveling down this road all along.

And as you curl into Josh, breathing to the drum of his heart, you remember something his mother once told you. You revisit her words about Josh and his intuitive nature, about the almost sixth sense he’s always had for the needs of others…

About how he always seems to find a way.

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lazingonsunday · 2 years

Text

Sugar (Part 13)

Jake Kiszka x Reader

18+ only! Minors do not interact!

Warnings: graphic sexual content, unprotected sex, angst, masturbation, rough sex, language, dirty talk, mentions of oral sex, etc etc

*This is Jakey’s chapter, my sweets, so it spans over the entire series*

“Have you thought any more about it?”

Jake knows exactly what his twin is asking… he plays dumb anyway. “About what?”

Josh gives him an exasperated glance and then nods in the direction in which you’ve disappeared to give them space to create.

Strumming his fingers over the strings of his guitar, Jake bides his time. He has, in fact, thought about it. And since we’re being honest, he thinks of little else. Although, that’s nothing new, you’re on his mind constantly, but you shouldn’t be, and he loathes himself for it.

When his eyes follow you around a room, he longs to pluck them out of his head in repentance. When his hand twitches, aching to stroke your silken hair, he contemplates cutting it off. You laugh, bell-like and beautiful, and he prays he’ll go deaf. You smile, and he curses the fact that he wasn’t born blind. He shouldn’t love you the way that he does. And he certainly shouldn’t harbor the tiniest seed of resentment towards his own brother, simply for the way you look at him like he hung the moon in your sky…but he does.

And now this—this unorthodox, yet not entirely out of left field, proposal.

Josh has always thought outside the box and disregarded the roles society says he should play. If there is a beaten path, Josh will trudge along beside it, animatedly describing the perks of schlepping through the mud and rocks to anyone who will listen. So, was this a bombshell to Jake? No. Not really.

Moreover, the bond they share is so deeply rooted, even they haven’t discovered its true depth yet. The only time anything has truly been able to separate them was when the stars aligned all those years ago and they split apart. Two halves of one whole, but connected just the same. They floated there in the dark together, buoyant and safe, tangled around one another, growing and changing as their mother’s heartbeat kept time above them. They made their way into this world the same way they still exist in it…together. Apart a mere five minutes before Jake had missed his other half enough to chase after him.

Karen would carefully deposit them on an old patchwork quilt while she attended to one chore or another, and instinctively they would curl up, each seeking the comfort of the other’s touch.

Jake was the first to learn how to crawl out of his crib. Figuring out how to navigate the confining wooden slats before he had even mastered the art of walking. Josh had only needed to watch him twice before he too, could easily escape. After that, their parents regularly discovered them fast asleep on the carpet of their nursery, cuddled up like bugs in a rug.

They have always been inseparable. Sharing thoughts in a way that sometimes unnerved others, but felt inherently normal to them. Exchanging quiet looks that held entire conversations inside them. Friends and belongings, experiences and travel, everything, has always been theirs together. Was this so strange?

For them? No. But Jake is grappling with it for reasons that feel sinister as they tumble about in his mind. God, he wants to. He wants to so badly…but if he gets his arms around you, will he ever be able to let you go? He thinks it might kill him. He suffers as it is, how miserable will his existence be once he’s had you and been forced to give you up?

Josh softly snaps him out of his muddled thoughts. “You’re allowed to say no, you know? This is a lot to ask, even for us.”

A lot. Well, that’s one way to put it.

Jake thought surely his jaw would never leave the floor when, just a week prior, Josh had rather offhandedly asked him to sleep with you.

“I’ve seen the way you look at her, and she wants things I can’t give her.” He’d lamented. “I hate it, but I just can’t do it. You’re the only one I trust.”

There had been details of what you asked for, though Josh looked a bit sick, considering it a betrayal of your trust, even if he was only sharing in order to give you what you needed. The worry was unnecessary, as Jake certainly held no judgment as he shifted around in his chair, uncomfortably hard in his jeans.

And he’s thinking about those details again now, which is what leads to the slow nod of his head that he isn’t even fully aware of until Josh frowns, looking both pleased and forlorn at once.

Jake catches his stare and holds it. “We’re really doing this?”

His brother leans back in his chair, resigned and oddly calm. “If she wants.”

Running a hand over his face, Jake sits his guitar aside. “What if this creates some sort of wedge between us? Or between you and her? I can’t stand the thought of that.”

He is so utterly in love with you, and he would quite literally die for Josh without a blink of hesitation. He isn’t willing to risk your happiness, nor his brother’s, to satiate his own selfish need for you.

“We’re solid.” Josh sounds sure enough of himself that Jake doesn’t argue. “I’m not worried about her and I, and I’m not worried about you and I. Just take care of her, okay? Don’t hurt her.”

Jake has to repress the urge to snap at his brother. He would never hurt you. He hides his outrage well, but Josh senses it nonetheless. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant don’t be-“ he pauses, face twisted as if it pains him to say whatever is coming next. “don’t be too rough with her.”

“Thought that was the point.” Jake can’t help himself.

“Don’t be a smartass. I don’t know how it all plays out. I’m a lover, not a fighter, remember?” Josh flashes his brother a grin.

How they are able to joke while tiptoeing through such a precarious situation shall forever remain a mystery.

With a nod proving he understands, Jake falls silent and Josh rises to his feet.

“I’m gonna head out for a while. I don’t want to overhear…” now it’s his turn to fall silent rather than speak the truth of the matter aloud.

Minutes later, Jake is making his way deeper into the house and closer to you, mustering every ounce of courage surging hot through his veins and calling forth all of his confident fuck god-rockstar energy. He is onstage, he is onstage, he is onstage.

He finds you reading in bed, wearing a tattered Morrison t-shirt. He knows this shirt. He once grabbed it off the floor near the hamper in the bathroom and brought it to his nose, drawing your scent in deeply. It was a particularly shameful moment of pure weakness and he’d been so disgusted with himself he’d made up an excuse about early morning plans, and left.

You’re stunned of course, and adorably confused at first- wide eyed like the prettiest doll…but you give in so easily that it makes him wonder if his devotion isn’t as unrequited as he believes it to be. He’s careful to push that thought aside, though..no good can come of it.

You gift him a revelation that knocks the wind out of his lungs, though he masks it beautifully. You tell him that he is your hall pass above everyone else in the world, diluting your vulnerability by saying it’s because you think of him as Josh, only darker, but he can see the lie in your eyes.

He fucks you, hard and fast, dirty and unrelentingly, because that’s what you want, and he enjoys it very much. Especially when he finds himself introducing you to shadowy bits of yourself you didn’t realize even existed- but in his heart, he makes love to you.

Each time he tosses you around he is confessing the devotion he shouldn’t have. Every filthy phrase a disguised, ‘I love you, I love you, I love you’.

The sounds that spill from your mouth, to him, are more beautiful than any siren’s song legends have ever told of. The touch of your hand, the caress of God herself, for he worships you and would fall to his knees and beg you to tell him that you love him back, even if it was a lie. But that would ruin everything, wouldn’t it?

You’d look at him differently, knowing how deeply rooted you have grown in his heart, in his soul..or worse, never be able to look at him again at all. And he’d lose even this small victory, if there’s even a chance he’ll ever have you this way again. Maybe this is a one time thing. Though the way Josh talked, it wouldn’t be.

You seem to be enjoying yourself just fine, judging by how soaked his cock is, and he’d be happy to fuck you this way until his dying breath.

Jake has always liked to fuck— hard and obscenely. Bruised and bitten, breathing heavily, with a smile on their face and their own cum splashed across their sheets is how he likes to leave them.

But with you? With you he really wants to savor, to memorize you, to take his time and get lost in a made up world for a little while. That is, until he sees it in your eyes, how much you want this, how much you need this. Then he throws it into high gear and fucks you into a metaphorical wall and loves you that way, the only way he can.

Later, he meets you and Josh at a restaurant and basks in your presence for a while, then somehow musters a smile and a wave as you walk out, wobbly legged and desperate to cum, with his brother. On his birthday he is forced to stare at the chair you’ve just vacated. He still feels you there, like a ghost. He goes home, gets himself off in the shower, and then once more in his lonely bed, and forces himself not to cry.

You fuck again, and this time, his composure falters a bit. He grows a little too affectionate a time or two. ‘You’re adorable sometimes, you know that?’ And ‘Oh, sweetheart, you’re so fucking pretty.’ He registers the shock in your gaze, but there’s also a softness there. You like it when he’s sweet to you.

Jake goes down on you for the first time that night, too. Or, rather, you sit on his face, and it ends up being the near death of him. You taste like velvet ambrosia, soft and supple, like cashmere against his lips, love and lust on his tongue. He commits it to memory and drinks you down when you cum, euphoric to have a bit of you inside him.

When you curl yourself around him and refuse to let go, squeezing and clenching your perfect cunt around him to force his hand, because you want him to let go inside you so badly, he truly sees it for the first time- you harbor something deeper in your heart for him as well. It likely isn’t the wild, yearning, love he hides away for you, but there’s something more there. Something.

The next morning, after a surprisingly natural and perfect night with you the focus of both brothers, and a stuttering, but revealing conversation with his twin as you, nestled between them, pretend to sleep, he finally gets his most desperate wish and makes slow, sweet love to you. It’s gentle and calm, and of course, still a little dirty.

You move and sound like poetry beneath him and scattered notes flutter through his mind, writing a thousand nonsensical songs for you. Nothing has ever been more perfectly right to him, this confession of love, both verbal and physical. Later, when he finds himself alone, he allows the tears to come. He weeps with relief and unbridled happiness. He cries until he feels weak and sleepy, his cheeks aching with the smile that refuses to disappear from his gorgeous face.

A few nights later, as you’re all still settling into this new normal, he finds himself alone in the house with you. He suspects Josh has purposely done this to allow you both some time to sink into the domesticity.

You’re relaxing in a warm bath, and he’s tried his hardest to leave you to your solitude, but fuck, he misses you like it’s been a year rather than an hour, and now he’s tapping on the door, feeling homesick for you.

“Sugar?” He sounds stronger than he feels, you make him so very soft.

“Come in, Jakey.” The way you say it, like it’s the most natural thing in the world, reminds him that this is real, this is actually happening…you’re his now too. He can touch you, and hold you, and tell you about his day, and rest his face in the crook of your neck while you sleep, and, and, and…

All those things that were once reserved for Josh are his now too. It doesn’t seem possible. He fears he’ll wake up at any moment. If this is a dream, he’s praying it’s playing out within a coma from which he’ll never wake.

He creeks the door open, and when his eyes land on you, naked and breathtaking, floating calmly in the soaking tub filled with dwindling bubbles, a serene smile on your stunning face, he wants to weep. You are an angel holding a pruney hand out to him. “Come sit?”

He nods and sinks down beside the tub, watching you like you’re his favorite movie.

“You look so pretty right now, sweetheart.” He sounds uncharacteristically shy. “It’s never been a secret, how much you love baths, and I’ve imagined seeing you like this so many times.”

The confession blindsides you in the best way. To know this beautiful man has pined for you as you’ve never allowed yourself to pine for him, raises goosebumps upon your skin even in the warm water. He has made you feel loved beyond measure. You leave all that unsaid, and a delicate smile is your only response.

He smiles back, looking just as gentle, but then there’s that darkened, shadowed cast to his stare, and you know him well enough now to know what’s coming.

“How do you want it, sugar?”

“Hmm?” You sigh, lost in those brooding, menacing eyes.

“I’m about to lift you out of this tub,” his fingers flick a tiny spray of water at you. “And I want to know how you’d like to be fucked. Slow and sweet, or rough and dirty? Should I fuck you like the angel you are to all the world, or like the whore you are only for me?”

“Who says I want to be fucked at all?” You throw him a sultry smile and he rolls his eyes.

“Oh, I don’t know, baby,” his thumb runs soapy circles over your knee. “maybe the way your legs fell open just a tiny bit when I asked. Or maybe these,” he plucks at your tightened nipples, “or maybe it’s just the way you’re breathing,” he looks smug and needy all at once. “I know my girl, sugar. Now tell me how you want it.”

“Come here and give me a kiss while I think about it.”

He still can’t believe this is his new reality, you smiling up at him like a gift, asking him to kiss you with that innocent gaze of yours that makes his chest ache. His eyes narrow, becoming seductive and sexy, as he leans in to give you what you’ve asked for, and then pop open wide with surprise when you curl your fingers around his shirt and yank him down into the tub on top of you.

Water sloshes up over the sides of the tub dramatically, raining down all over the tile floor as he struggles and sputters bath water out of his mouth, with you giggling and pulling him closer all the while. He flags this memory as one he wants to keep forever. If our lives really do flash before our eyes when we die, he’d be happy to erase everything else so this moment could play out over and over on loop until it all goes black.

“You little shit,” he grins down at you, all perfect teeth and glittering eyes, hair dripping and clinging to his pretty face and neck. “My boots are probably ruined, I hope you’re happy.”

“They’ll dry, Jacob,” you grin back at him. “Don’t be such a crybaby.”

“I’ve got your crybaby right here, smart mouth.” He rocks his hips down into you and the soaked denim of his jeans creates a delicious, warm friction against your clit. “Don’t sass me.”

You welcome the feeling, but offer protest. “Okay, but hasn’t anyone ever told you that sex in water isn’t all it’s cracked up to be?”

He continues rolling his hips and nuzzles your nose lightly. “Number one, you pulled me into this tub, remember? Number two, sex in water can absolutely be everything it’s cracked up to be, when it’s done right.”

Your hands are in his hair now, pulling his lips to your neck. “So you’ve fucked in a bathtub before, Jakey?”

He wishes he could say no. He would wipe the slate clean until you were the only name written on the board if he could. Then again, he supposes it doesn’t matter all that much, you’re the only one who has ever meant anything real. You’ve owned his heart since the day he first laid eyes on you.

“Sugar,” he nips at your throat and shirks off his fragile edge. “I’ve fucked everywhere.”

The territorial heat that flashes through your system twists your stomach into a vicious knot and kicks up the drum of your heart. “Shut up.” You realize you’re speaking through gritted teeth and relax your jaw. “I don’t want to know.”

You can feel his smirk against your neck, “Are you jealous, baby?”

“No.” You lie, as he raises his head with a serious, sincere, look in his eye.

“Good, because you shouldn’t be. None of them even compare to you. Not even close. You’re my whole world, baby. You’re my beautiful little sun and I revolve around you.”

“Yeah?” The word trembles out on a shaking exhale as you cup his cheek.

He leans into your touch, feeling much too close to tears for comfort. “Yeah. Now answer my question- how do you want it?”

You curl your leg around his waist and push him closer with the heel of your foot. “You know how I want it, Jakey. Are you gonna give it to me that way, or am I gonna have to beg?”

In a series of rapid-fire movements that barely register to either of you, he’s out of the tub and hauling you to your feet, guiding you as you step out and peeling his sopping wet clothes off after kicking his boots to the floor in a sodden, clunking, heap.

He tosses you up on the counter and the air puffs out of you with an endearing sound that steals his heart further. Your drenched hair runs tiny, glistening rivers down your body and he can’t take his eyes off them. You are more beautiful to him than every sculpture, every painting, every sonnet. Every moment, no matter how idyllic, that has taken place since the beginning of time pales in comparison to you. You aren’t Juliet, you are Shakespeare.

“Sugar…” he calls out softly, if only to remind himself that you’re really here.

You whisper his name back to him for the exact same reason, stares burning together for a moment, and then another. It’s urgent and intense, like you’re trying to catch a glimpse of the thoughts behind the eyes.

The moment lingers until, without warning, he jerks you forward and slots himself between your legs. His mouth, sweet and searching, moves along your neck with a quick laziness. Sucking and kissing, licking and biting, humming softly in content as his teeth graze along the column of your throat. Your head lolls back in bliss and your hand pushes down between the two of you to circle your clit.

He pulls you by the hair until your foreheads meet, his grip squeezing excess water from your locks to trickle down your back. It dribbles its way down your spine and makes you shake.

“Does that feel nice?” His tone is sex defined. “Is my pretty little fuck doll gonna make herself feel good?”

You nod with a choked moan that cuts itself off and evolves into a high pitched sound you don’t recognize as coming from yourself. The effect that pet name has on you has never been lost on him, not from the first time he’d tested it out, wondering just how dirty you really were.

“That’s my good girl,” his hand holds you still by the throat, head tilted back to look down the slope of his nose at you. “Tell me who fucks you. Who really fucks you. Who do you need when your perfect little cunt wants to hurt just a little? Tell me.”

“You, baby,” you sound as if tears might sob out of you any given second and it makes his cock twitch against your inner thigh.

The need to tear you apart, to watch you melt in his arms, to connect with you, is so unbearable that it drowns everything else in the world out. In this moment, together, you are all that exists to him. He is totally pulled under by the need to have you, to consume you and be consumed by you, to fuck you, to love you. He wants to fall into you and never climb out.

Your hand, so silky and gentle, is playing lightly over his cock, sweeping and brushing over the hot, hard pulse of it carefully as you study him. You’re pondering what he could possibly be thinking about. Wondering where he’s gone off to in his head, and whether you’re there with him in his secret world of hidden musings.

His right hand buries its way back into your hair, his left wraps around your neck as you slowly stroke him. “You want that, sugar? You want my cock?”

“Yes…” you gasp, then bite down on your bottom lip to stifle a moan.

“Yeah?” He tightens his grip on you. “Take it then, pretty girl. Put it where you want it.”

You wiggle your hips, scooting forward, and he bites back a smile so you don’t get huffy with him for making affectionate fun of you, and then the feather light touch of your hand on his cock becomes a fist, pumping slowly up and down.

“What about you, though?” your tongue, pink and pretty, sweeps over your lips as a single finger of your free hand slips into yourself. “Do you want this?” That same finger, now glossy and slick, pushes softly into his mouth, stealing his composure.

A sound very close to a whine escapes him. For the sake of his ego, you pretend you haven’t heard it, but he can feel the way it causes your thighs to shiver.

“Yeah, sugar…” he nods, breathing heavily around the digit he’s still half-sucking. “I want that. I always want it.”

“Always?” Now you’re just being a tease with your soft, airy tone, and you both know it.

He leans in closer and takes your bottom lip between his teeth, biting down just enough to create a blissful little sting, and fills you up with one swift thrust of his hips.

The stretch is nothing short of heaven, which is fitting, because the sound it pulls from you reminds him of an angel.

“Hard, Jake,” you beg, clenching around his cock as your nails dig crescent-shaped divots into his shoulders. “Fuck me hard. C’mon…move.”

“Don’t boss me around, goddammit.” he huffs, but his hips begin snapping into you hard and deep. “You know better than that, sugar. Where’s my girl? Hmm? Where’s my good little girl?”

“Right here, Jakey,” you sigh, eyes rolling back with the escalating fire he’s stoking low in your belly. “I’m right here.”

He pulls you in until your cheek is pressed against his chest, and strokes the back of your head soothingly as he continues to fuck into you like a whore whose name he can’t recall.

“You feel so good, pretty girl,” his hand, along with his hips, stutter, when the words cause you to squeeze and flutter around him. “So fucking tight, so warm…you have no idea what you do to me. Fuck!”

You push him away abruptly, and for a moment he thinks he’s hurt you, but you quickly put that fear to rest.

“So let me see what I do to you. Turn me around,” you slide off the counter and yank his hands to your hips. “Bend me over the sink and fuck me from behind. I want to watch you in the mirror.”

His grip becomes ironclad and then releases to send you spinning, he slams his weight into you to stop you where he wants you and then shoves you down over the counter with a flattened hand pressed between your shoulder blades. That same hand glides up and takes you roughly by the hair.

“Spread your legs.” his voice is rasping with want and it elicits a brand new rush of warmth dripping it’s way down your thighs. “Show me how badly you want my cock back inside you where it belongs.”

Your legs part further as you claw at the countertop. “There, now give it back.”

“Give it back?” he taunts, tugging on your hair ruthlessly. “You sound like a bratty little schoolgirl, whining because someone stole her doll. But you’re the doll, aren’t you, sugar? You’re my doll. My dirty, dirty fuck doll, and I will play with you however I want.”

A silent sob is all you can manage, you need him so badly.

He releases your hair and lovingly smoothes it over your shoulder “Now, if you want my cock so badly, what do we say?”

“Please, Jakey…” you barely make a sound, but his heart seizes with love. “Please.”

“There’s my sweet girl.” his praise makes you flush with heat.

Suddenly, you’re filled to the hilt again, and your eyes meet in the mirror as he beautifully bottoms out inside you, looking far too similar to the way he looks when he loses himself to the music onstage. Wonderful, one more thing you won’t be able to watch him do without thinking about sitting on his dick.

He collects himself quickly. “Do I feel good, baby? Is that what you wanted?” He knows the answer to both questions, but fuck if he doesn’t love to hear you say it. You aren’t the only one in the room with an affinity for applause.

Your palm smacks down on the counter, wishing for a sheet to twist into. “So fucking good…move, Jake…please.”

His cock begins a deliciously harsh drag in and out and you drop down onto the sink with a desperate cry of relief, but that won’t do.

“No,” he shakes his head with intent and wraps his hand around your throat, yanking you up until your eyes once again lock in the mirror. “I want you to watch us fuck, sugar. Just like you said, I want you to see what you do to me.”

He bends until his mouth is on your shoulder, biting and licking over the dull ache before moving on to another spot. Each sting of his teeth causes a pulse around his length. “You think I don’t feel that, pretty girl? The way your cunt squeezes around me each time? It’s okay to like it when it hurts a little.”

A swiftly delivered wink in the reflection steals your breath. He is slamming into you so roughly now the air rushes out of your lungs harshly with each thrust, causing a tiny cloud of fog to form on the mirror each time.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck…” you whine incoherently.

“Yeah?” he smirks at you, but his furrowed, tilted brow gives him away.

An audible swallow is your response, and it makes him think of cumming down your throat, which is the absolute last thing he needs right now. He’s worried he’ll cum before he can get you off, though he’d never let on.

Instead, he reaches forward, gaze on yours, and pats your hand. “Touch your pretty cunt while I fuck it, sugar.”

Immediately, you reach down and he makes a soft noise of approval. “That’s my girl, rub your clit for me. Want you to soak my cock pretty. Can you do that, baby? Can you make a little mess right on my cock?”

“Oh my god, Jake…” your eyes are swimming and blurring, but still laser focused on his tortured face. He’s trying so hard to hold on for you.

“Do it, sugar.” he demands with a light crack of his palm against your ass. “Cum on my cock.”

You tighten, vice-like, around him and he’s letting go with you. He couldn’t stop it if he tried, so he doesn’t bother. And when he feels the subtle relaxing of your limbs as your orgasm washes away, he jerks you up and spins you into the wall to fuck you against it, his body pinning you where he wants you, still from behind.

He should be spent, at least for a little while, but his system has other plans and his cock is still hard for you. Only for you. Always for you.

You’re fighting around, trying to twist your shoulders so that you can see his face, but with a clipped, “Stay where I put you.” he holds your face against the cool wall and slides back into you.

You coil tightly around him as he sets a furious pace while you beg and cry for more, heated tears streaming down your face. Nails clawing at the wall, you begin pleading for him to make you cum again as he calls you names like, greedy whore, and his cock slut angel.

His fingers bury into your skin as he tries to touch you everywhere, pressing into the nape of your neck one second, pulling at your hair the next. Wrapping around your throat, reaching down to grip the side of your thigh, darting up to slip into your mouth.

When he reaches around and delivers a whipping smack into your clit, you lose it so thoroughly he has to hold you upright. “You like that, fuck doll?” his words float into your ear like a secret. “You want me to do it again? You want me to make this sweet little clit ache?” he runs slick circles over it until you wail a shaky ‘yes’.

He sends another blow flying into your swollen heat and then drops his head heavily against your shoulder with a pained groan when he feels the warmth of your release pouring down around his cock. “There you go, sugar.” he chokes out as he lets go inside of you again. “That’s my girl. That’s my fucking girl.”

You can hear it hitting the tile at your feet, and if he wasn’t gasping the most beautiful sounds you’ve ever heard, you might care about that a little. You might even be a hint embarrassed, but as it stands, you’ve never felt more uninhibited in your life. This is perfect. Everything about this is fucking perfect.

Once you’ve both found your breath he carries you back over to the counter and gently stows you there without a word. He turns and unplugs the bathtub, and then he’s back, cupping your face in his hands, brushing his lips over yours, whispering to you about how beautiful you are, and how much he loves you, how happy you make him, how whole and content he feels.

Then he’s gone again for a moment, plugging the drain back up and testing the water temperature. Loving you some more while a fresh bath fills.

Lastly, he steps into the tub and holds a hand out to you, sinking in first so that you can fit yourself between his legs and rest your back against his chest.

The bathroom is destroyed. Water and drenched piles of clothes scattered about, but as he runs his thumb down the length of your arm, he pulls you further into your dreamlike state, and none of that matters.

Taglist: @gretasintrees @greta-van-chaos @gardenofgreta @theweightofstardust @celestialfauna @s0livagant @groggyvanfleet @kiszkathecook @shesalrightshesouttasight @brokenbellz @llightmyllovee @doodle417 @kdarling1 @seventieswhore @jake-kiszkas-smirk @weightofdreams-gvf @greta-flanveet-admin @alisonwonderland29 @agirlwithmanytastes @gretavanfleas @gretavangroove @sparrowofthedawn @xserenax-13 @avagvf @joshkiszkas @joshsmama @tbagggvf @obetrolncocktails @tripthelightjaketastic @jakeslovehandles @spicedandicedtea @gretavanflowerpower @jakekiszkasrightnutsack @saoirsemaeve @loofypoofy @heatmyfleet @age-of-nyahh @sammiboo162 @prophetofthedune @gretasmokerising @tripthelight-fanfic @mckenna4 @tripthelightfandomtastic @sarakay-gvf @theweightofjake @dakotadovato @sammysvanfeet @rhythm-of-space @angelkiszka

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lazingonsunday · 2 years

Text

Sugar (part 17)

Jake Kiszka x reader

18+ only! Minors do not interact!

Warnings: graphic sexual content, language, angst, crying, dark themes, digital penetration, etc

The room is too quiet, with only Josh’s soft breath feathering through your hair…you’re so used to both of them beside you. Josh, with his peaceful, lazy slumber, and Jake with his fitful tossing and turning. This is all wrong.

The room is also too dark, Jake always remembers to leave the soft glow of the bathroom light burning for you, so you don’t have to stumble your way through an unfamiliar hotel room night after night. Still, the moonlight allows you to watch his shadow cross the room, dim as a ghost, after you listen to the door whisper open and shut.

Curious as to what his plan is, you feign sleep. Will he crawl into bed and tuck himself around you? Is he simply here to gather his things? Will you have to beg him to stay? Of course, he knows better, he senses your wakefulness and nods his head toward the balcony as he slides the glass door open, silently asking for your company.

Without thought, you follow. Easing the covers back slowly, so as not to wake Josh. You aren’t oblivious to the fact that it needs to be just Jake and yourself for whatever is coming next.

When at last you’re both settled into your respective chairs – you, wrapped in a throw snatched from the foot of the bed on your way out, and Jake quietly tapping his boot with nervous energy. The silence stretches on until he shatters it softly. “I’m sorry I scared you. I shouldn't have thrown whatever it was I threw…I shouldn’t have yelled. I hate myself for the way you looked at me.”

“I know you’re sorry.” you’re both staring out into the night, avoiding the other’s eyes. You scan the city…it’s quiet now, but it will wake soon enough. A frown creases your forehead as you try to imagine venturing out into the reality of it all, now that your world has been upended.

“I meant what I said, sugar.” the sadness in his voice makes your chest ache. “You have to choose. I can’t…” a tiny sob interrupts him, but he swallows it down. “I just can’t anymore.”

“Why, Jake?” your voice is so scarce you hardly recognize it. “We don’t even know anything for sure, yet. You’re overreacting.”

He shakes his head slowly, why won’t he look at you? “It’s not just that, and I think you know it. This was never going to work. I’m not Josh with his blind acceptance bullshit, and I need you to choose.”

You don’t miss a single beat, “Then I chose him.”

He doesn’t miss a beat either as he moves to stand, mute tears stiffening his stance.

“Sit.” you order gently.

For perhaps the first time in his life, he does as he’s told without argument.

“I remember the first time I saw you, you know?” you begin. “Everything about it. I remember what you were wearing. I remember what you were drinking; a martini out of a whiskey glass because martini glasses are ‘top heavy and pretentious’, you told me later. I remember you had a handful of peanuts, but you were plucking them up one at a time instead of shaking them into your mouth like anyone else in the world would have. You babied those peanuts around for ages. I thought it was the strangest thing.”

“So?” he’s trying his best to sound cool and collected…a stiff upper lip, though British he isn’t.

“Shh.” you hush. “I wanted to talk to you. Badly. It was like this magnet in my chest, right where my heart lives, pulling and pulling and pulling. I’ve never felt anything like it before, or since. I needed you, and I didn’t even know you. I felt like I’d missed you for a thousand years, and I was finally home.”

“But you didn’t talk to me, did you?” his voice carries a jaded edge you wish would go away. “I remember that night too…you ended up lost in the charms of my charismatic twin all night long. Apparently, not much has changed.”

“Jake…”

“No!” he snaps, tears straining his voice “You pick him? How could you say that to me? I’d die for you right fucking now if that’s what you wanted. Anything…I’d give you fucking anything…and you choose him?”

“Anything?” you question, staring into his eyes, though they’re so tortured you long to look away. They’re like wishing wells…dark and deep. Endless in their pain. You want to turn and forget the agony living in his gaze, but you can’t leave him alone in his suffering.

“Anything.” he nods urgently, frenetic need radiating into the air around him.

“Then stop, Jake…please,” you beg, reaching out to grope for his fisted hand. “I choose him because he loves me enough not to ask me to choose…he’s not the one forcing me to tell this terrible truth.”

He grabs your fist in his own and you melt into this small concession “What terrible truth?”

“That I love one of you more.” the tears you’ve been blinking away are twisting at your throat relentlessly, rendering you hardly able to so much as whisper.

“Maybe he just doesn’t care as much.” he argues, but there’s nothing behind it, he sees that it’s a ridiculous statement…he’s grasping cruelly at straws.

“That’s a lie and I think you know that better than even I do.” you wait until his gaze finds yours. “He would never ask me to choose because he knows, Jake. He knows.”

“He knows what?” He wants to hear you say it, and you’ve never been more disappointed in him. It seems such a blatant disregard for Josh. For his love for the both of you. For what he’s sacrificed.

You pull your hand away, finally able to drag your eyes away from his. “I won’t say it. Don’t ask me again.”

“Baby,” he’s on his feet now, moving to sink to his knees down in front of you, mirroring his brother’s stance earlier with his head in your lap. “Please, don’t do this to me. I can’t live without you. I can’t...”

“I’m not doing anything!” you snap, harsh and choked. “You are! Why are you doing this? Why are you ruining everything? Can’t we just…” the tears will no longer stand for being contained and the moment one falls, you lose it completely. “Can’t we just go back to the way it was? I know you’re upset, but…”

“Hey…” his hands are smoothing the hair away from your face. “Breathe sugar, c’mon, love…deep breaths. Don’t cry.”

“Don’t cry?” you’re incredulous as you swat his hands away. “Don’t fucking cry? Why, Jake?”

His face turns away, as if he feels ashamed. “Why, what?”

“Oh, now you’re going to play stupid? I don’t think so. Answer me.”

He draws in the deep breath he was asking you to take and sits back, wrapping his arms around his knees as he pulls them to his chest protectively. “Do you know what it’s like to be your afterthought? To never be the one you chose? It’ll always be him.”

“Jake…” you reach for him but he pulls back.

“No. It’s always him. Even as kids. Our parents loved him more–”

“That isn’t true!” you protest.

“Maybe not so much now, but I couldn’t stay in line the way Josh could, he was easier for them. Sammy isn’t the favorite…he just likes to think that. Josh is. Fuck, even Ronnie loves him best. Our friends always liked him more, our friends' parents, teachers, everybody, Josh Josh Josh.”

“Baby, listen…” you try again.

“No you listen.” he speaks quietly, but with an edge he almost never has with you. “Do you know that they called me ‘the other Josh’ in school for a while? Like I didn’t even matter aside from being his twin? And then we’re older, and it’s my band, except it isn’t, because he’s the lead, right? And the frontman owns every gig, every interview…but I’m not supposed to feel shitty about that because he’s giving his shit up for mine, so fuck my feelings.”

You reach out for him again…this time he allows you to pull him in close, and his head drops into your lap once more.

It’s quiet for a stretch and then he offers a sorrowful, “They call us the sun and moon, you know? That’s real sweet and all, but guess who’s the sun, sugar? I can handle being the moon to the rest of the world, but I want to be your sun.”

“The moon is just as important.” It’s a stupid thing to say, this obviously isn’t the point at all. You stroke his hair, wishing you could draw the pain out of his heart. You long to brush it aside for him, to send it floating into the night, lost and forgotten forever.

His palm has found its way to your belly…he touches over it carefully, reverently, and with a softness radiating from him that is nearly visible. “What if there’s a little life in here? Then what? How do you make that work in your head?”

“I haven’t tried to make anything work in my head yet, Jake.” you cover his hand with your own. “Partly because we don’t know anything for sure, but mostly because I’m scared to death for about a thousand different reasons, and you aren’t making anything any easier.”

He sits back in order to look you in the eye. “I know this is where I’m supposed to apologize, but I won’t. I need this from you, sugar. Either way it goes, I need you to choose. And if it’s him, I need you to both understand when I leave, because I can’t go back to the way things were. I can’t go back to watching you love him.”

You’re suddenly angry with him. So angry. “I know I said I’d choose him because he isn’t the one actively breaking my heart with his selfishness, but no. I won’t choose him. I won’t choose at all. If you want a choice, that’s just too damn bad. You want to stay? Good, come to bed. You want to leave? That’s on you, I but won’t help you fuck this up.”

“I love you.” he reaches pleadingly for your hands. “I love you so much. I always have…it’s always been you. Don’t you understand that? Don’t you get it? I’ve never protested much about sharing with him, about always being in the dark while he lived in the sun, because I never cared about anything enough to fight back. I’m fighting back for you.”

“But you don’t have to fight for me!” you argue adamantly. “You already have me, baby…you already have me. Why now?”

“Because, sugar…listen to me,” he takes your face in his hands. “Because I know how this ends. This ends with you dressed in white walking towards him, not me. This ends with you holding a tiny little person that has my eyes, but also his. This ends with you on a porch, gray and wrinkled holding his hand, not mine. He always wins.”

“I’m not a prize.”

“You are the prize, baby.” his thumb strokes over your cheek. “And you said he knows…well I know it too. I want you to say it. Say it for me, sugar…please?”

He sounds so small, like he might vanish into thin air any moment, like he could be a figment of your imagination. “I love you more.” you speak in a hushed tone, barely audible at all.

It’s wrong, and you hate yourself for it, but it’s more true than anything has ever been. There had been a time when you believed you loved Josh on a deeper level, but it was the familiarity that had tipped the scales in his favor. There was also a time when you believed your heart was divided neatly down the middle, but that was just a pretty lie you told yourself. There is something more with Jake, something that feels almost ancient…like the two of you have always been. Two souls finding each other lifetime after lifetime.

The tension seems to seep from his body as you speak the truth into existence, and then, to your shock, he drops his head to your chest and begins to silently weep.

“Say it again.” tears waver his words.

You want to give in, you want to quell his quiet sobbing and wrap him up in your devotion, but it isn’t right. “No. Never again, Jake…we’re not doing this. I love him, too, so much it makes me crazy, and so do you.”

“I don’t care.” his lips have found yours now, breathing his words into your mouth as his tears dampen your cheeks.

Pulling back to see him clearly, you speak his truth for him. “Yes you do. Now, stop this.”

“No…” before you can register what is happening, he’s tugging the blanket away from you and settling himself closer to you. “Choose. Choose me, sugar. Tell me you want me.”

You pull him in closer and nestle your face into the crook of his neck. “I want you.”

There he goes, fluttering his fingers through your hair again, making you shiver with the blissful warmth of being treasured. “Tell me you want only me.”

“I’m not going to lie to you, Jakey…” you guide his mouth to your throat in the hopes that he’ll kiss it. In the hopes that he’ll shut up. In the hopes that he’ll let this die and things will be as they should be come morning.

“Why him?” he whispers, tears still very present in his tone. “Why didn’t you let that magnet in your heart lead the way the night we met? You don’t make any fucking sense.”

Your answer stalls in your melting brain for two reasons. One, his hand is now slipping into your panties, and two, you have no explanation. You’d been drawn to Josh as well, and he had seemed safer, gentler, less likely to break your heart into tiny, aching pieces. Jake had scared you in your overwhelming, visceral, reaction to him. Josh had been a glowing soul, beaming at you with a gorgeous smile. Come say hello… that grin had said, and so you had.

Instead of the response he’s looking for, his fingers dip inside you and draw forth an airy moan as you clench around him…fraught with the need to keep him there, terrified he may never be so close to you again.

“Say it.” he urges, glistening tears streaking down his perfect face as he tucks into that perfect spot, curling, circling and pressing as you relax into the chair, giving yourself over to him.

“No.” You shake your head as it lolls back against the stucco behind you. “Stop asking.”

“Please, sugar…” he’s begging now as your thighs part further for him. “Please, baby…just one more time. Please.”

When your eyes drift open they’re met with his and you find them swimming with a hopeless want. “Say it, baby. Tell me when you cum…tell me, okay? Let me hear it one more time.”

Your hand has dropped down to circle his wrist, hips grinding against his touch as you chase your end. He knows exactly where to touch you, exactly how to touch you…and he has succeeded in unraveling you astonishingly quickly.

“There you go, pretty girl…” he nods, leaning in to sweep his tongue along your bottom lip. “That’s my good girl…I love you baby, I love you so much.”

“Jake…” your entire body is aflame, burning and raging, and he is all you need in this moment. “I’m so close…I’m gonna —”

“Say it!” he repeats the demand over and over, his mouth pressed close to your ear.

Say it say it say it say it…clouds your brain, his voice blurring your thoughts as his hand takes you apart.

“I love you more…” you breathe quietly as you let go and sink into the sweet warmth of release. “I loved you first…I love you more, I always have.”

Coherency begins to return to you as his fingers slow, gently guiding you back to the present, and it registers in your fuzzy mind that you’ve heard a strangled sound behind you. Your eyes dart to Jake’s, only to find him staring over your shoulder with a territorial force you can’t begin to understand.

A moment too late, you look over your shoulder to catch Josh disappearing back inside, leaving your heart to twist so fiercely in your chest you fear you might be suffering through cardiac arrest.

“Oh my god…” you hurry to push Jake away, readying to ask how much he thinks his twin might have heard, but then you catch sight of it…that hint of smug satisfaction in Jake’s eyes.

“You knew he was there…” you gasp, blindsided by his cruelty. “You knew he would hear it.”

He looks away, either unable or unwilling to even attempt a lie.

“How could you, Jakey?” the use of such a familiar nickname seems out of place, since right now you feel like you don’t even know him.

“He needed to know.” he offers quietly.

You briefly think about debating this with him. Of course he didn’t need to know…Jake just wanted it that way…but you abandon that in favor of chasing after Josh and his surely broken heart.

“Sugar, just wait a minute…” Jake slinks back when you push him away and rush to your feet.

You silence his pleas by sliding the door shut as your entire world burns down around you.

“Josh?” you call out softly, only to be met with silence.

Taglist: @gretasintrees @gardenofgreta @greta-van-chaos @theweightofstardust @celestialfauna @s0livagant @groggyvanfleet @seventieswhore @kiszkathecook @brokenbellz @llightmyllovee @doodle417 @jake-kiszkas-smirk @gretasmokerising @tripthelight-fanfic @mckenna4 @tripthelightfandomtastic @sarakay-gvf @theweightofjake @dakotadovato @joshsmama @sammysvanfeet @avagvf @rhythm-of-space @weightofdreams-gvf @imdepressedaf1996 @greta-flanveet-admin @alisonwonderland29 @agirlwithmanytastes @gretavanfleas @gretavangroove @sparrowofthedawn @xserenax-13 @joshkiszkas @tbagggvf @obetrolncocktails @tripthelightjaketastic @jakeslovehandles @loofypoofy @70sgroupielovr @heatmyfleet @age-of-nyahh @sammiboo162 @saoirsemaeve @spicedandicedtea @jakekiszkasleftnutsack @gretavanflowerpower @mywickeddivinity @calumspretty

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