lavaslamps

[lavaslamps]

lie awake, I sleep awake, I sleep with one hand on my 45, the other ‘round my baby’s waist

[lavaslamps]

wuthering heights, kate bush 

inspired by @gracelands2‘s edit

#flashing tw

[lavaslamps]

holy water vs tumblr tags: a thrilling saga

[lavaslamps]

i think they call that “dramatic irony”

[lavaslamps]

The torment J*hn W*nchester gets is knowing his son fucks and fucks loudly and enthusiastically and he can either deal with knowing Cas or go to hell where he belongs

okay you know what I was previously in the “the only reason John Winchester (derogatory) is in Heaven is so Dean can finally get some proper closure and then he Cas and Jack beat his ass” but you know what you’ve sold me I’m moving to your camp. this is “your son calls me Dadddy too” but elevated. Cas gets to stand there with Dean’s arm wrapped around his waist, pressed up against each other and kissing his cheek, and simply smile at John Winchester, aware that John knows that if he so much as opens his homophobic mouth the Angel that carried Dean out of Hell is going to drag John’s ass back down there so fast it makes his head spin. like yes I fuck your son on the daily “sir.” 

it’s about the Dean recognizing the abuse he suffered and rising above it, no longer giving blind respect to an abusive, small man who did nothing to ever earn it. it’s about no longer living in fear of him, no longer internalizing fear of himself, of being who he is. it’s about John Winchester no longer having the power and control he took by fear and force. it’s about Cas’ words of love being acknowledged by Dean on a soul level, allowing himself to let go of the last shadows of John Winchester’s hateful legacy. that is not who he is. it’s about Cas knowing this and getting to smile pleasantly as he sits in Dean’s lap at the Heaven family bbq. it’s about knowing that this man who used fear to control others is goddamned scared of this ancient celestial being with more power than he could ever fathom, who gives his son gay kisses on the mouth. it’s about Dean, raised (or rather, lack there of) to be the father and the mother, having to be the nurturing caretaker, yet still expected to grow up in Dad’s image; the heterosexual macho ladies man with Dad’s jacket and Dad’s car and Dad’s music. it’s about Dean finally getting to free himself of that and just be. Being fully himself, still having baby and his music but also having his Angel. 

and yes, it’s about the fact that John Winchester has to exist in the reality that Dean is getting piped by the gay Angel on the reg and if he so much as commits the sin of a singular implied homophobic comment he’ll go straight to Hell via the gay Angel express <3

[lavaslamps]

dean + red shirt 

[lavaslamps]

Point of No Return // The Torn-up Road, Richard Siken

[lavaslamps]

I’m praying, okay? Prayer is a sign of faith. This is a good thing, Dean. Cas, you got your ears on? Listen, you know I am not one for praying, cause in my book it’s the same as begging. I need you to hear me. Cas, are you there? Please, man, I need you here. Cas, I hope you can hear me. I hope you can hear me. I hope you can hear me.

[lavaslamps]

blank space……is a cas song

[lavaslamps]

— In the end, I say, I looked at your hands. I wasn’t seeing you   Your body, that’s a word I would not have said. I clung to your hands so that something human might exist in the chaos.

Olivier De Serres - A Single Passion Two Witnesses 

by  Hélène Cixous

[lavaslamps]

you made it

[lavaslamps]

just two dads and their super-baby

[lavaslamps]

ok not to go all jender studies BUT i’m thinking about the performance of gender as a feminine act itself (explored a lot in judith butler’s gender trouble and sandra lipsitz bem’s the lenses of gender) – how social masculinity is often perceived as the NEUTRAL, the normative, the inherent, the universal, all because we live in an androcentric culture. masculinity is something not performed, but fundamental, while femininity is something that is carried out. critical feminist theorist simone beauvoir talks a lot about associating the feminine with the act of appropriating a gender – that men are while women have to become. (although i would like it stated that this isn’t about gender essentialism or determinism, but rather about how society fabricates and implements its pre-prescribed gender binary). and i’m thinking about dean, who does not exist in his gender as being, but rather as a perpetual act of becoming. nothing about dean’s masculinity is neutral – it COULD be, like sam’s is, but it is not. dean’s masculinity is defined by the execution and the accomplishment of the performance itself. it’s a fabrication. a mask. and as such, he has inadvertently put himself in the feminine position: a position which constitutes finding out what you’re supposed to do and then doing that over and over, repetitively, to groom oneself into becoming a pre-established xerox copy of what one’s gender should be. in other words, he’s a painted whore.

[lavaslamps]

SPN Parallels: Dean wiping his eyes with the back of his hand

Dean […] is grumpy and slow to wake up, stretching and creaking and rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands, a waking-up gesture that is so compulsive, so who he is, that it shows up repeatedly, and it makes him look either like he is 6-years-old or, well, like an odalisque.

Rubbing your eyes with the heel of your palms is what cowboys and gunslingers do. A tough gesture, you don’t care if you get a little grime in your eyes if you’re a tough guy. Cliche, but true. I have a hard time imagining Clint Eastwood rubbing his eyes with the backs of his hands. It looks like a child-like “boo-boo” type of gesture. It’s palms-facing-out, which is vulnerable. Look for it from Ackles. It shows up repeatedly. It’s one of those gestures that beautifully undercuts the sincerely tough and bossy and aggressive persona of Dean Winchester.

(Sheila O’Malley)

[lavaslamps]

that post thats like “how do i know dean’s performing masculinity? because sam isn’t” except its “how do i know dean’s in love with castiel? because sam isn’t”

[lavaslamps]

the garden of eden with the fall of man by peter paul rubens and jan brueghel the elder, 1615. / 4.22 lucifer rising / eve overcome with remorse by anna lea merritt, 1885 / 6.20 the man who would be king

[lavaslamps]

SUPERNATURAL The Dark Side of The Moon (2010), Dir. Jeff Woolnough // MY OWN PRIVATE IDAHO (1991), Dir. Gus Van Sant