ladysparklefarts

[ladysparklefarts]

Some Hunter & Crosshair sketches

[ladysparklefarts]

Hi sweety! What do you think about a short prompt of Fem!Reader and Crosshair arguing, leading to a fiery kiss (pre relationship)? Maybe she's got enough of his snark and snaps, but he just grabs and kisses her, wordlessly revealing he's just mocking her because he has a crush on the reader...? Pretty please? I can't get this fantasy out of my head. I need you to write it down, so I can go on with my life! 😅

Aloha!

Oh, I think I like this one 😂

Crosshair x Fem!Reader One-shot - Chicken Legs

Warnings: Strong Language/Swearing/Arguing/Fluff/Slightly Suggestive

____________

Working with the Bad Batch is actually fun, most of the time. You get along well with the guys. With all but one. Crosshair. The Sniper seems to have made it his business to annoy and criticize you. He often gets on your nerves, constantly corrects you, checks things you've done three times and always finds something to complain about. You are all the more annoyed that Hunter has sent you off with Crosshair, of all people, to run some errands. The sergeant says, "You two need to learn to get along. I know how stubborn my brother can be, so you have to be the smarter one. Don't let him get to you. When he realizes that you are no longer interested in his talk, then you won't give him any room to attack. You drive the speeder, Crosshair sits behind you. You had a long discussion about who should drive before you left. "I'm the man, how does it look when I sit behind you?" he grumbles. You glare at him. "Seriously, that's your argument? If anyone ever doubts that we humans were once cavemen, I present you as living proof that some of us have not evolved from that time."

Your little argument goes back and forth, but in the end, you're in the driver's seat. Of course, he can't keep his mouth shut. As soon as you arrive in town and get off the speeder, he grumbles, "You're living proof that women shouldn't drive." Frowning, annoyed, you look at him. "Here we go again... What's so bad about the way I drive?" Crosshair snorts and rolls his eyes. "We don't have that much time. Maybe I should tell you what's right with it, because that list is a lot shorter." You clench your hands into fists, trying to stop yourself with sheer willpower from grabbing his collar and shaking him, "Has anyone ever told you that your toxic masculinity is really annoying?" He smirks. "Yeah, you, several times." You roll your eyes, pull out your data-pad and take a look at the list Hunter gave you. Trying to ignore Crosshair. But he won't be ignored. Cheekily, he takes the pad from your hand. "Hey!"

"Let me do it, if you have the list, we'll forget about half the things", he insists. By now, you're seething with anger. He's been teasing you and making stupid jokes since he got up this morning. "What the hell is your problem? You're not that obnoxious to others, are you?!" Serenely with a smile, he says, "Maybe you are the problem" "Fuck. You." you press out, "Listen up, Chicken Legs, if you don't stop pissing me off, you might wake up one morning with your rifle shoved deep up your bony little ass." He raises his brows in amusement and looks at you. "Well, if that turns you on, I personally find it strange, but to each their own." You raise your finger in anger, already working up another line, when he closes his hand around your finger, and you fall silent abruptly, taken aback. "What-"

His other hand grabs your chin and holds it tight. "Shut up for a moment," he says softly. You stare at him as his face gets closer and closer. Your eyes automatically close as his lips touch yours, warmer and softer than you expected. As the tip of his tongue glides gently over your lower lip, you automatically open your mouth, letting him in. Your tongues collide in a velvety collision. Fireworks go off through your body. Your pulse begins to race, your heart beats faster, your stomach begins to tingle and warmth spreads between your thighs. For a moment your mind is completely turned off, you don't think, you just feel. But as his lips slowly separate from yours and both your and his eyes open again, you kick him in the shins. Thanks to his armor, however, he barely feels it. "First you return the kiss, then you kick me?", he asks, cocking a brow at you. You say softly, "I can't stand you, you can't just kiss me".

He finally lets go of your finger, and you suddenly miss the physical contact with him. You stand there and look up at him somewhat helplessly. "Why are you always teasing me?" you ask, confused. He smirks, "It's given me your attention, hasn't it?" You sigh and say, "There's another way to do it." He nods slowly, with an irresistible smile on his lips, strokes your cheek with his knuckles and says, "Okay. I'm open to suggestions. How can I capture your attention?" You swallow, look at him almost shyly, and say, "Just keep looking at me the way you are right now, and you'll have my attention."

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

@rintheemolion

@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99

@brynhildrmimi @kaliel2310

@misogirl828 @tech-deck

@meshla-madalene

@chxpsi

@thebahdbitch

@nahoney22 @ladykatakuri

@darkangel4121

@ttzamara

@arctrooper69

@padawancat97

@agenteliix

@allsystemsblue

@palliateclaw

@either-madness-or-brilliance

@ortizshinkaroff

@andy-solo1

@hunterssecretrecipe

@heyitsaloy

@greaser-wolf

@extrahotpixels

@hated-by-me

@hunterxcrosshair

@malicemercy

@bebopsworld

@echos-girlfriend

@cpnt616

@dangraccoon

@jediknightjana

@pb-jellybeans

@antishadow2021

@sleepycreativewriter

@starwarsnerd111

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Omega finding random cute animals

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We all like us some good Coruscant Guard whump where they’re abused by the Senate and the ppl and their brothers fighting on the front, but can I get epic blackmailer Fox? The guards are treated like furniture by a lot of the senate; imagine all the secrets and scandals they might here!

Really, let Fox blackmail the Senate into giving him and his brothers (even the jackass ones) rights as sentients. And then let him nap

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Average night on the Marauder

Hunter *tucking Omega in*: Goodnight, sleep tight. Don’t let the bed bugs bite. 

Tech: Technically, there would be no bed bugs. We just cleaned. Why do you think there are bed bugs?

Crosshair: Goodnight. Sleep tight, don’t let the monsters haunt you.

Wrecker: Monsters?

Omega: What monsters?

Echo *sighs*: There are no bed bugs, there are no monsters. Just go to bed. 

Wrecker: But what monsters?

Hunter: No monsters. 

Omega: Just bed bugs. 

Tech: Again, there should be no bed bugs. Have you seen signs of them?

Echo: All of you go to sleep

*Quiet for a minute* 

Wrecker: But why does Batcher always sleep with Crosshair? No fair, I wanna turn

Omega: She sometimes sleeps by me

Wrecker: No fair

Crosshair: She just likes me best

Tech: Technically, it may be because of Crosshair’s unresolved trauma. Dogs tend to know when humans are not alright. Although that may not be a good enough reason because many of us have unresolved issues. 

Hunter: Yes, thank you for calling us out Tech, now go to sleep

 *Quiet for another minute*

Omega: I need some water

Wrecker: I have to use the refresher

Tech: It is too hot in here to sleep. What temperature is the ship set at? This is not the optimal sleeping environment

Hunter: Do not touch the thermostat!

Echo: WOULD YOU GO TO SLEEP ALREADY?

Crosshair: Okay, mom.

[ladysparklefarts]

[ladysparklefarts]

Listen, I’ve been doing this fandom thing for a while (I’m old) and I just wanted to reassure you guys that you don’t have to “leave the fandom” when The Bad Batch ends, and that it certainly isn’t going to evaporate! While some people will move on, many others will continue to participate. Fandoms of this size tend to stick around long after the source material is done, and doubly so with big franchises like Star Wars where the characters are very likely to reappear in other places. Just look at the Clone Wars fandom and how active it still is, for example.

I don’t plan on going anywhere after the finale. This story and these characters are very important to me, and I’m not done playing with them. 💖

[ladysparklefarts]

Just a goofy doodle comic after that last episode

part 2 later?

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I pretend I do not see.

The fuck is it now.

Bitch.

The fuck—

Angy.

Certified shithead™

“First of all, fuck the captain—”

Murder on the brain.

Eat shit and die.

~

Man of few words, but many expressions. XD

[ladysparklefarts]

my favourite thing to do at any given time is reading chuck norris jokes, but inserting obiwan kenobi every time

Obi-Wan Kenobi plays russian roulette with a fully loaded gun and still wins

Obi-wan Kenobi doesn't turn the light on. He turns the dark off

In the Beginning there was nothing ... then Obi-wan Kenobi roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job

If you ask Obi-wan Kenobi what time it is, he always says, 'Two seconds till.' After you ask, 'Two seconds to what?' he roundhouse kicks you in the face

Obi-wan Kenobi does not own a stove, oven or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold

Obi-wan Kenobi does not sleep. He waits

There is no chin behind Obi-wan Kenobi's beard. There is only another fist

Obi-wan Kenobi does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will change the spelling.

Once a cobra bit Obi-wan Kenobi's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died

Death once had a near-Obi-wan Kenobi experience

The only time Obi-wan Kenobi was ever wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake

and my personal favourite

Obi-wan Kenobi destroyed the periodic table, because Obi-wan Kenobi only recognizes the element of surprise

[ladysparklefarts]

Crosshair: I may not have a lot to my name right now, but I do have one thing—

Omega: Friendship?

Echo: The audacity?

Crosshair: Chocolate frogs.

[ladysparklefarts]

star wars: prequels incorrect quotes (2/?)

insp

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[ladysparklefarts]

Fic: A man is not dead while his name is still spoken

1,707 words. Set during Rebels, ft. Captain Rex.

A short story, because I refuse to believe that the clones' story - their mistreatment, abuse, betrayal - was allowed to fade into obscurity, until all that was left was three old men hiding out on Seelos. AO3 link here.

Kallus was waiting for them when the Ghost touched down on Yavin IV.

Or rather, waiting for Rex.

“Mothma and Organa are waiting for you, Conference room four,” Kallus muttered to him, as the rest of the squad began off-boarding procedures and checks.

What for?” Hera demanded. Ever the protector “Rex, you need me to come with?”

But Rex waved her off, running a hand over his bald head. “No, it’s alright,” he sighed. “I think I know what it’s about.”

It’s not like it was a secret. The news had even reached the Outer Rim by now. A scandal like this, news travels fast.

But not many people would know what it means to Rex. Organa was perhaps one of the last few to understand.

As the door slid open to the conference room, Mon Mothma and Bail Organa turned to face Rex with a sorrowful expression he’d become far too familiar with over his long years (metaphorically speaking). He hated it. “Senators,” he greeted.

Bail, only there as a full-sized hologram, smiled at him. “Rex, it’s good to see you,” Bail said, in a gentle tone that only served to put Rex more on edge. He didn’t want to have this conversation.

So he cut straight to the point. “I’ve already heard,” he said, perhaps a bit sharper than intended. “They’re playing it on the news in every port. Riyo – Senator Chuchi’s death. What happened?”

“As far as the public is aware, she died of a heart-attack following a particularly stressful debate in the Senate,” Mon Mothma said. “But, there is cause to suspect foul play was involved.”

Rex nodded. “Of course there is. Can we prove it?”

“It’s unlikely,” Bail said. “The press report was issued by Palpatine’s own office, they won’t allow an autopsy to reveal anything, and any dissidents – I’m sorry, Rex. With Riyo’s death, it’s clearer than ever that we are losing our grip in the Senate.”

For most of his life, Rex’s face had been hidden under his bucket, emotions indecipherable. He still hadn’t quite got the hang of schooling his expression. He took a deep breath, and forced his scowl to fade. It wasn’t their fault. Stars knew Bail did all he could. “I see. I… thank you, for thinking of me.”

“Of course,” Bail said, quickly, one translucent hand reaching forward as if the hologram could comfort him. “I know how close you and Riyo were, in the early days.”

“But, Captain, there is something else,” Mon Mothma cut in.

Intrigued against his better judgement, Rex glanced between the two of them. Bail was no longer quite meeting his gaze, and Mon Mothma had clasped her hands behind her back in that way she did before starting an important speech. “Oh?” Rex asked, hesitant.

“Riyo was a vocal component of our campaigning,” Mon Mothma said. “The most vital spokesperson in the senate, in fact. With her gone, we have, as Bail said, lost our hold in the Senate, and any hope we had of passing de-escalation, de-militarisation, and reparation bills has dropped significantly. In fact, we’re taking steps to withdraw key figures to positions of safety.”

“Including myself,” Bail cut in, with a wry smile. “I will be returning to Alderaan on a more permanent basis.”

“And, unfortunately, it means we’re having to abandon some of our current campaigns, even some of our most long-running ones.” Mon Mothma hesitated again. “Including Senator Chuchi’s Clone Rights bill.”

Rex almost laughed. Was this what they were so concerned about? For all Riyo’s efforts, that bill had died a slow and painful death years ago. “I understand, Senator,” he said, hoping Mon Mothma hadn’t yet spent enough time around soldiers to pick up the ‘no shit sir’ undertone.

But Bail raised a hand, as if to ask Rex to wait a moment. “We aren’t happy with this,” he said. “I, personally, cannot allow Riyo’s work to be dismissed so easily, not when she has probably lost her life because of how much she cared. So we were hoping you would help us take this case to an even more ruthless court.”

Rex frowned at him. What other court? All there was, was the Empire. And it wasn’t like the Rebellion had anywhere near enough funds to provide the pensions Riyo had promised.

Bail smiled. “The court of public opinion,” he clarified.

Mon Mothma took over, as if practiced. “We want to share the clone’s story,” she said. “Your story. It is, perhaps, one of the clearest examples of how underhand, how manipulative, how immoral the Empire and Palpatine himself are. It shows how everyone has been played for fools since before the war even started,” she said, passionate, and Rex remembered that Mon Mothma had been a Separatist. “It shows how none of us had a choice, how so many of us died for nothing. You and your brothers most of all. If you – and any of your brothers – would be able to share your story, it could make a huge impact on how the Empire is perceived. It could sway a lot of people.”

Rex took another steadying breath.

She wasn’t wrong.

“My brothers and I,” Rex said, slowly, parsing through his thoughts as he spoke, “Have spent a long time fighting to get out of the eye of the Empire. They gave us their attention once. It wasn’t good.”

Very few people knew the full truth of what the clones has lost, following Order 66. Mon Mothma and Bail at least knew enough to flinch at Rex’s harsh understatement.

“We understand,” Bail said. “I don’t expect you to come to a decision quickly. Take the time you need.”

“But don’t wait too long, Captain,” Mon Mothma said. “The Empire will make everyone forget Riyo Chuchi soon enough.”

Rex stared at her, unsure whether to resent her callousness, or admire the cold practicality. A solider through-and-through, he was leaning towards the latter.

He didn’t say anything else. He couldn’t, thoughts too full of his history, the chance to share it, and Riyo.

Falling back on muscle memory, he saluted, about-turned, and walked from the room.

**

It was Zeb who found him later. “You’re moping,” he said, nudging Rex to shuffle along the crate he was sat on and make room.

Rex sighed. “I’m old. I’ve seen a lot of shit. Sometimes, it requires moping. I’ve earned a good mope every now and then.”

Zeb chuckled. “Yeah, but no one’s allowed to mope alone. Hera’s orders.”

“I’ll be fine Zeb.”

“I know that. Want to take it up with Hera?”

Rex smiled – for a couple of seconds.

Zeb let him sit a silence for a good long while, the lasat instead paying attention to the bowl of food he’d brought with him. Rice dish, a concerning shade of red.

Most of the food was gone before Zeb spoke again. “You want to talk about it?” he asked, through a full mouth.

An easy dismissal sat on tip of Rex’s tongue, but he hesitated. Bail had said he understood, and he might have meant it with all the genuine goodwill in the galaxy, but he didn’t. He couldn’t.

Rex hesitated, before asking, “If you could tell everyone what happened on Lasan – the massacre, the ion disruptor rifles, how you’ve been persecuted and hunted since – would you do it?”

“Yes,” Zeb said, without hesitation, with an air of finality, and through another full mouth.

“Even if you knew it would put a high-priority target on the back of every lasat who survived?”

Zeb’s fork paused halfway to his mouth. He hesitated, then lowered it back to the bowl, swallowing his current mouthful loudly. “Alright,” he said, voice carefully measured, “that’s a bit of a problem, I’ll give you that. Is this a theoretical exercise?”

Rex shrugged. “Not exactly.”

Zeb fell silent again, food abandoned. “I think,” Zeb said, eventually, “that telling the truth is as much about stopping it happening to other planets, other cultures, as much as it’s about getting justice for me an’ mine. I think any lasat who lives is already suffering enough that another target ain’t gonna make that much of a difference. I think any lasat who’s survived this long, can take care of themselves. And I think I’d owe it to all who came before to have their death mean something, not just to me, but to anyone else who’d listen.”

Having said his piece, Zeb took another mouthful of rice and kept eating.

A few more bites in silence later, Zeb swallowed and asked, “Did that help?”

“Yeah,” Rex said. “Yeah, that helped.”

“Good. Now let’s go get you fed, before Hera hunts us down and skins me for wilful neglect of an elder.”

**

Rex went to Mon Mothma’s office early the next morning.

“I can’t promise you anything,” he said, before she could speak, “I can’t even say how many I’ll be able to contact, let alone how many will agree to it. But I’m going to need a bunch of brand-new encrypted channels, and a really long-range transmitter.”

**

**

“I am CT-7567, Captain Rex of the 501st Legion, CO of Torrent Company.”

“CC-36 36, Commander Wolffe of the 104th Wolfpack Battalion.”

“CT-9901, or Sergeant Hunter, CO of Clone Force 99.”

“I am ARC Trooper Echo, formally of the 501st and Clone Force 99.”

“I served as Sergeant Hound in the Coruscant Guard, this is Grizzer.”

“Commander Bly, CC-5052, of the 327th Star Corps, serving under General Aayla Secura.”

“I am CC-2224, Marshal Commander Cody of the 7th Sky Corps, CO of the 212th Attack Battalion, and Second in Command of the Third Systems Army under General Kenobi.”

“You probably think you know all you need to about us. I doubt many of you look at us favourably, these days, if you see any of us at all. You probably think we were loyal soldiers of the Republic, soldiers of the Empire. Some of you might think we were traitors to the Republic cause, who assisted with the Empire’s takeover of the galaxy. Some of you might even think we betrayed the jedi – and I can’t fault you for that.

“But, here’s some things about us you might not know…”  

[ladysparklefarts]

bring back tumblr ask culture let me. bother you with questions and statements

[ladysparklefarts]

could I have Fives with garnet at night? maybe meets the reader at 79s and saves them from a creepy dude?? if that doesn't vibe with you, make it whatever you want xx

You're Worth It

Summary: You should have known better than to come to the club with your friends, they always ditch you after all. Luckily, a handsome clone comes to your rescue.

Pairing: ARC Trooper Fives x Reader

Word Count: 637

Prompt: Garnet - Protective Love

Warnings: None

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly

A/N: Thank you for your request! I hope this is close to what you wanted~

You need some new friends. The friends that you’ve been running around with since you were all in diapers are not the best friends you could have asked for. By any definition of the word. 

Seeing as they ditched you as soon as they realized that they might hit it off with some of the people here.

Leaving you, all by your lonesome, to get cornered by a man who smells like a walking brewery. 

He’s so drunk, in fact, that you’re not entirely sure what he wants. His words are all slurred together into a jumbled mess of words. Though you’re pretty sure he’s hitting on you.

That, or he’s trying to sell you speeder insurance.

You hold your hands up, trying to keep him from leaning into your personal space, and it’s…not working.

You’d sell your right arm for one of your friends to notice that you’re in need of a rescue. But you can’t even see any of them.

“Ah, there you are!” A strong arm slings around your shoulders and you’re tugged into a broad chest, “Honestly, babe, you can’t just wander off like that.”

You blink, bewildered, at the man standing slightly in front of you. A clone, with a five tattooed on his forehead. He’s handsome, but then, all of the clones are, and has a rakish grin on his face.

“Sorry,” You say automatically, and his grin softens before he tosses a wink in your direction, “I got turned around.” You add.

“Totally understandable, there’s a bunch of people here.” He squeezes you a little tighter, “Excuse us, we need to get back to our table.”

The drunk man slurs something, and apparently your savior speaks drunk, because he doesn’t look the least bit confused.

“You’re very drunk, you should probably go for a walk. Get some fresh air.”

The drunk man rears his fist back as though he’s about to punch the man standing slightly in front of you. And you hazard a glance at the clone, he looks bored, and you feel a little silly for being so worried about him.

The man protecting you, moves slightly and nudges you to the side as the drunk man finally throws his punch, and ends up toppling to the floor. “Um…”

“Come on, leave him be. Someone will come and take care of him.” He ushers you away from the toppled man, and then grins at you, “Fives.”

“Beg pardon?”

“My name. It’s Fives.”

“Oh!” You hurriedly introduce yourself, and his smile widens. He really is very handsome. And apparently you’re a little more out of sorts than you thought because those very words fall from your lips.

Fives’ grin widens, “Thank you. I happen to think you’re stunning too.”

“I’m pretty sure I didn’t use the word stunning.”

“But you meant it though, I can tell.” Fives winks at you, and tugs you onto the dance floor, “Now, because I saved you from that awful drunk man, you should dance with me.”

“Is that right? Is this your payment?”

“Sure. But I’d do it anyway.”

You frown at him thoughtfully, even as you slide your arms around him, allow him to tug you closer, “You could have been hurt. What if he had a weapon?”

“Well, better I got hurt than you.” Fives replies with a small grin.

“No one is worth that!”

“I disagree. You clearly are.”

You’re struck silent by his sincerity, and his grin softens, “Now, let’s dance. And then, maybe, if you’re interested, we can go and get some caf?”

“Are you asking me out on a date?”

“Yeah. I am.”

“Oh.” You blink at him, “...there’s a cafe not far from here that sells the tea that I prefer-” You offer hesitantly.

“Sounds like a plan to me. But first we have to dance.”

[ladysparklefarts]

Once Vader and Palps know that Ahsoka is fulcrum she definitely makes Ezra post space YouTube videos of her dissing Vader for stupid things he did as Anakin that has Palps questioning why he chose Vader

Lord_Vader: This Never Happened. Lord_Vader: Delete This Immediately. jabbathehutt [op]: wow mr vader any1 would think u were anakin skywalker the way ur defending him Lord_Vader: Silence. FulcrumTano: I'm gonna talk abt when anakin got his arm stuck to the ceiling in the citadel next week Lord_Vader: My Dignity Is Already Ruined What More Do You Want From Me Lord_Vader: Please I Am Going To Lose My Job