l0st-in-the-tides

[l0st-in-the-tides]

please don't hate me please don't leave me please please don't leave me please don't hate me

#the fog envelops me #og #unsigned #gone with the tides #tw repetition

[l0st-in-the-tides]

i wish he wouldn't look at me like that, softly, it's weird and uncomfortable and off-putting

i wish i could just be happy that he seemingly doesn't find my presence and/or existence purely annoying, it should be a good thing that he could like me, but it offsets me in such a wildly uncomfortable way and i hate that

i HAVE to double down so fucking hard to not backslide into reading the worse shit please i need to not be in that if i want to focus on getting better and back to working condition

#the fog envelops me #og #unsigned #blood runs dry

[l0st-in-the-tides]

i want to die i want to die i need to die i deserve to die please someone kill me

#the fog envelops me #og #unsigned #tw sui ideation

[l0st-in-the-tides]

mmmmmmm too much too much too many things at once i feel dirty i feel so so small i feel violated i feel sick

#the fog envelops me #og #unsigned #blood runs dry

[l0st-in-the-tides]

i feel disgusting, yet i don't stop

#the fog envelops me #og #unsigned

[l0st-in-the-tides]

i wish i wouldn't get full-body shivers, convulsing, twitching, clamminess from this. the fucking meds don't exactly help that all but jesus christ this makes it so much worse. why is it stuck in my brain the past couple days why why why- i can only use the excuse of it being bc of my reading so much before that's obviously not the main driving force

#the fog envelops me #og #unsigned #blood runs dry

[l0st-in-the-tides]

god fuck i wish id just throw up already

#the fog envelops me #og #unsigned #tw emoto

[l0st-in-the-tides]

there is something deeply fucked up about me

#the fog envelops me #og #unsigned

[l0st-in-the-tides]

mm. thinking about things i wish i wouldn't. wondering if things that happened were normal. trying desperately to not make mental connections to kinks that i sort of have now. fuck this is so awful take it out of my brain please god

#the fog envelops me #og #unsigned #blood runs dry #tw.... idk what to tag exactly. noncon? vague kink to not out myself with specifics?

[l0st-in-the-tides]

jesus christ. RSD got hands.

#the fog envelops me #og #unsigned #gone with the tides

[l0st-in-the-tides]

feeling crazed feeling manic despite the stagnation god help me

#the fog envelops me #og #unsigned

[l0st-in-the-tides]

im so fucking frustrated, i feel stuck in a stagnant state. stagnant progress with feeling better physically, stagnant in motions in many regards, stagnant in ability to move past anything or anyone at all. im so tired of this.

#the fog envelops me #og #unsigned

[l0st-in-the-tides]

why am i a bleeding heart, a hopeless romantic

how fucking stupid.

#the fog envelops me #og #unsigned

[l0st-in-the-tides]

not a single person i like is available and they may never be i need to get a fucking grip

#the fog envelops me #og #unsigned #gone with the tides

[l0st-in-the-tides]

500 posts!

awesome. yippee.

#og #unsigned

[l0st-in-the-tides]

i need to get over this. i can't be with him. she doesn't want a relationship with anyone for a long while. they don't do dating. i need to get over it. i have to get over them.

#the fog envelops me #og #unsigned #gone with the tides

[l0st-in-the-tides]

so hungry but way too tired....

#the fog envelops me #og #unsigned #tw disordered eating