kuhakuwu

[kuhakuwu]

All around me, smoke is heavy

Going down deep, I’m not ready

The only escape is your voice in the rain…

And that’s when you whisper 🎶

#Spotify

[kuhakuwu]

The right people will always stay. The people this year that I’ve met are real ones fr. Cant believe I found myself again.

[kuhakuwu]

The new Odesza album is probably the sexiest thing my ears ever came across. Going through the whole album is just absolutely mind blowing. Blessed.

All my life is by far my favorite song.

[kuhakuwu]

Dealing with depression is rough. It’s so hard to get up and want to do things. To express myself. I wear this like fake smile in front of everyone but the reality is that I’m just so fucking sad. I tried therapy and it helps but idk if it’s honestly for me. Although I’ll continue to push myself to do things I just don’t know if I’ll ever escape or come to terms with my emotions.

#Spotify

[kuhakuwu]

Earlier today I had an anxiety attack. I haven’t told anyone but what I felt was scared and helpless. My body shutdown and I started to profusely shake. I don’t think anyone should go through what happened to me there.

#Spotify

[kuhakuwu]

Sea of voices.

I love this song so much.

There’s just something about this song that has its own push and pull to it. To where it’s almost as if I’m escaping.

#Spotify

[kuhakuwu]

“As our train car derails and rolls into the ocean

I'll be honest I wouldn't miss a thing about these

Cold-hearted towns and the distance between everyone here

And everything.”

#Spotify

[kuhakuwu]

Truth

You can’t expect someone who has no self respect to have any respect for others.

[kuhakuwu]

April 24

Oh, something comforting. Yesterday being the one year anniversary for the album Nurture.

I really have gotten through a lot with this album. I find so many things to relate to within each song. It puts me into a lot of self reflection. To look at myself and say if I’m happy with where I’m at.

My life’s not perfect, the cards that I always get aren’t the best, but I’ve always been trying my hardest. I always put a lot of effort into the things I care about because at the end of the day they mean something so much to me that no one will ever understand. Haku, when you look back on this specific post whenever you’re feeling troubled well tell yourself that you fight for a brighter tomorrow. Don’t give up. You’re not that kind of person. Continue to pursue the things you love because it’s your life and your story. You’re the author of your life. No matter how many times you have to rewrite the pages keep writing. A phenomenal story doesn’t happen overnight. Now go back out there and smile.

[kuhakuwu]

If you have to speculate if someone loves you and wants to be with you, chances are they don’t. It’s not that complicated. Don’t waste moments waiting and wondering. Don’t throw away your time dreaming of someone who doesn’t want you. No one is that amazing, and certainly not someone who would pass you up.

Donna Lynn

[kuhakuwu]

April 19 1:42am

Considering withdrawing from college and just getting a federal job. Definitely have a lot of options available for me. Planning on looking the next couple of months. I don’t believe I can truly focus on college how I want and need to realign my goals with my life. Maybe it’s for the best. I mean at this point what do I know? So many questions for myself that just haven’t been answered. And apparently so many other people just know what’s best for me. Might as well just follow and trust the process? I wonder when I’ll be able to make my own decisions again and get ahold of my life. Obviously overnight isn’t realistic but a question that big seems a bit far off from trying to pinpoint exactly when. Time to take a different approach at life.

[kuhakuwu]

March 11-14

I’ll never get the closure I need but for myself I can be content with where I’m at. Thanks to my friends I’m able to feel my emotions again. Even though it could be just temporary I can for once feel again. The people that care about you the most are willing to take the time out of their day for you. My friends in my small circle fucking rock. And I am now forever Hak. Pronounced as Ha-Ku.

[kuhakuwu]

March 10

Do you ever stop and look back at yourself?

Maybe that’s why I’m so sorry for a lot of things. I’m sorry that I couldn’t realize my own faults sooner before it was too late and as things are now beyond past the point of repair I only have the experiences/memories to take forward with me. As a human I make mistakes and whether those around me forgive me or not is not up to me. And that’s okay to not be forgiven. Not everyone is going to forgive you. It’s just a part of life. Acknowledge the mistakes that you make and really think about what could you have done different. Rewind the scenarios in your head hundreds or even thousands of times. Challenge them all give them the worst outcome. Give them the best outcome. Every single outcome you can think of just try and find what you as a person could have done better. Even if it’s just a slight difference try and keep trying. By doing so you’re growing yourself just a little more than before. At the end of the day I’m human and I’m always going to be forever sorry to the mistakes I’ve done in life. I’m always going to apologize repeatedly because for me it comes behind a sense of care and compassion. Because I’m still trying to learn and sometimes I won’t get it the first, the second, or even the third time. It makes me simply human.

“To make mistakes or be wrong is human. To admit those mistakes shows you have the ability to learn, and are growing wiser.”

― Donald L. Hicks

[kuhakuwu]

March 9

I think one of the most beautiful things in the world is the sound of rainfall outside in the middle of the night.

Just light a candle and hear what the world has to say.

[kuhakuwu]

“i am hard to love.

that, i have always known

but you climbed the barbed wire fences that guarded my heart

and said you were here to stay

i believed you;

that was my mistake

i guess i scared you away;

i was too much for you,

or not enough,

or somewhere in between

but regardless,

the ending remains the same

i am here,

with my lonely, wounded heart

and the shattered remains of every empty promise you made.”

-i am hard to love, but you were easy to lose. c.r.

[kuhakuwu]

We could have been an incredible love story, an anecdote without end, but we perished trying.

[kuhakuwu]

This. I’m just scared cause I don’t know if I’m worth talking to in the end.

“I want to talk to you. Of course I want to talk to you. I’m just not too sure you want to talk to me.”

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