krystalane

[krystalane]

[krystalane]

how I read the most toe-curling, spine-shattering, nerve-wrecking, nastiest smut ever written in this god forsaken app

[krystalane]

“I’m having his baby! No I’m not, but you should see your faces!”

[krystalane]

unemployed bitches at 2:30 on a wednesday

[krystalane]

first thing id do as a skeleton is drink red wine from a goblet and have it spill out everywhere . second thing id do is play my ribs like a xylophone

[krystalane]

i love laying the FUCK down and sleeping

[krystalane]

his premature death and 20 seconds of screen time have bewitched me body and soul

[krystalane]

Ferb’s birthday is on February 29th (leap year day).

[krystalane]

[krystalane]

POV: it's 2004 and you're about to watch a Disney Channel movie

[krystalane]

My cats have this meow that means "please come with me to fix this" after which they'll lead me to the problem in question, usually a empty (or 'empty') food bowl or a closed door they want open. They look at the 'problem', they look back at me, clear message.

What fascinates me is how this illustrates what they percieve as being in the realm of my 'power.' I control the food, I control the door, sure, but my cats love to sit on the balcony in the sun, and it has happened plenty of times that on a rainy day they come get me, go to the balcony and show me... the rain. "Please fix this" they say. "Please get rid of the wet"

"Silly kitty," I say, "I can't control the rain." I then walk into the shower and turn on the rain.

[krystalane]

source

[krystalane]

when I was a little kid at some point I got upset with my parents because I didn't have a crucifix in my bedroom and they did- I was like why do YOU get to be safe from vampires??? you're okay with me getting my blood sucked???? so we took a little trip to the catholic store but the one closest to us was run by a group of nuns that had been moved here from romania. I got a little baby pink cross and this sweet old nun was like 'aww, is this a baptism gift?' and I was like no. I need to be protected from vampires. and she immediately got SO serious and was like 'this is the best one we've got, you'll definitely be safe' and since she was literally from vampire land I was convinced she was like, van helsing. like the whole time my parents had been laughing about how cute my fear was but she literally Knew dracula and was taking my concerns seriously I held this over my parents for so long lmfao

[krystalane]

[krystalane]

[krystalane]

he’s making me ill

[krystalane]

If 2 barbies don’t scissor in the movie it’s not realistic