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kremlin · 2 hours
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sauce sunday
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kremlin · 1 day
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original url http://www.geocities.com/hopez_of_lifez/
last modified 2007-12-31 07:13:33
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kremlin · 3 days
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kremlin · 3 days
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king of the pool table no matter where i go. lol.
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kremlin · 3 days
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totally blowing it. lol. lol….
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kremlin · 3 days
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kremlin · 4 days
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UNTITLED kremlin
You are a computer professional in some vague capacity. The nature of this is not immediately clear.
You attempt to concentrate and fail, and your mind's correlation between the act of concentrating and the perception of reality diminishes. Your comprehension of the act of concentrating diminishes. You believe, with some uncertainty, the possibility of a task involving time. You roll the dice.
Amongst you are many animated electronic devices sharing a uncomfortably warm and maximally humid room. It is not clear the purpose or function of these devices, but many display numbers consistent with the format of a clock. None of the numbers match exactly, but there are some close enough for you to decide to gamble on a time value equal to an average of the times observed.
You inhale in anticipation of performing the time-decoding process.
Following advancements made some time ago allowing extremely precise synchronization of digital circuits, regardless of network topology between them, many vulnerabilities in software and hardware were discovered. Verifiably precise and uniform measurement of such information, available ubiquitously, was deemed a potential risk to the value of established electronic and programmatic design properties. Provisions were made to eliminate this risk and establish new design properties as well.
The solution was simple. The time of day may be any value at any point in time. The time value displayed on devices in proximity to each other will tend to display equal time values (with some fuzzing). A user wishing to correlate the displayed time value with the actual time must engage in a secure token exchange over the internet, commencing with the submission of a relevant Time License Key Value with corresponding Time Authority. This exchange occurs via HTTP REST over a TLS connection, guaranteeing security and guaranteeing the continued value of more general electronics now immune to the threat of timing attacks. Obtaining a token allows access to an expanded API which includes methods to derive actual time of day -- assuming appropriate license level and cash balance.
You hesitate and lose concentration, wandering away. You find yourself outside looking up, and then down, and then up. You are unable to determine what time it is. You proceed inside. You lift the laptop lid and engage with your computer.
You writhe on the dirt miserably, in extreme pain and confusion unable to comprehend the paradox. Your empty, profusely bleeding and profoundly infected eyesockets would imply the presence of eyeballs at some point. But the darkness you exist in is incompatible with a being capable of eyesight, a being that would consider blindness to be a categorical black darkness. Your blindness avoids even such minimal descriptions. What color does infrared or ultraviolet light appear as to a sighted person? What does a 500KHz tone sound like?
Only several fingers remain on your single remaining limb, your non-dominant arm, now dragging you in an unknown direction for an unclear reason. A deeply dense and fantastically sensitive plane of diverse nerves in your eyesockets engage intimately with the equally detailed and diverse ground below you. At any given moment in time, you are able to enumerate and characterize many dozens of debris particles as they either pierce your face immediately or simply drag and scratch across it depending on hardness and geometry. This soil appears to be highly saline.
You feel unusual as you remember your task. Victor arrives at the airport today and you are to collect him. You see Victor's face in your mind's eye -- your closest friend, your childhood friend -- yes, when? You look towards your computer to answer this question and begin to devise a plan, drawing on your expertise as a likely computer professional or similar.
You log in to the computer locally, and are met with another login page for an online account associated with the vendor of the OS software. You type your twenty four character password incorrectly, and then correctly. You are denied, citing unusual activity. You unholster your telephone, and open a web browser, navigating to your webmail. You log in. You tab out of the browser and switch to 2FA application. You copy the code to further login to webmail. The 2FA authentication app appends a space to the sequence of numbers causing the authentication to fail. You repeat the process, hitting backspace.
You are to view an advertisement. Your phone camera feeds to a neural network model guaranteeing your eyelids stay open and focused throughout the duration. A video begins playing at maximum volume: a nude and terrified woman panics and cowers for 30 seconds, and the video cuts to a black background with white text advertising a subscription service to software able to interpret and execute bytecode. You are awarded for a perceived concentration index sufficiently higher than average and a number of no-cash-value tokens are deposited into an online gambling and sportsbook account simultaneously created for you.
You engage your webmail. A banner appears and shrouds your inbox, peppered with checkboxes laid out asymmetrically. The text visible reads "COOKIES (GDPR)". You select a random number of them and paw at your phone until the banner has disappeared.
Four hundred thirty-three thousand eight hundred and five unread emails. You find the mail relating to the failed login of the OS vendor online account.
"Suspicious activity has been recorded on your account. A login was attempted from an IP address."
You see a photograph of a man in a chair. You recognize this man to be yourself. The photo is taken from outside your window.
You authorize the login. The room is visibly warmer. Every fan on every device whines. You send an IM message to victor. Victor arrives at 8:00.
You arrive at the airport at 7:00 and a figure appears from the doorway promptly at 6:00.
An unbelievably large nude man of impossible proportions undulates and lurches unnaturally. You believe this to be the person you are picking up, but this is not Victor. You do not know anyone named Victor, nor recognize any faces.
The man's perplexingly obese body aligns, pointing his enormous dented durian-like head at you. Two eyeballs of vastly dissimilar shape bounce around meaninglessly out of alignment with each other. An odor indicative of a very urgent medical issue emanates.
"I would like to offer you.." the man heaves "..a once-in-a-lifetime investment opportunity with conditional clauses proportional to your FICO credit score of 530 which has been hard checked."
"Available for purchase immediately -- are warrants guaranteeing premium positions in the line to purchase receipts of ownership for shares of a new company. The company provides financial consultancy and business resources for companies operating in the emerging blockchain market. For the low cost of money, you too can join in on the opportunity of a likely better opportunity for purchasing receipts of ownership mapping to shares for this disruptive new business securitizing blockchain financial instruments."
The man begins to have a seizure.
"Personally, I am long on calls for a leveraged ETF 3x the inverse of the NFT market."
The man freezes and perishes. His body putrefies quickly.
You begin to cry.
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kremlin · 6 days
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recognizing songs by the little bit of silence at the start is such a baller move b
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kremlin · 6 days
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kremlin · 7 days
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kremlin · 8 days
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oh. i get it. C+
happy birthday?
not even close but thank you
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kremlin · 8 days
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happy birthday?
not even close but thank you
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kremlin · 8 days
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starting to develop an attention problem due to Phone Chess. hopefully this passes
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kremlin · 9 days
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please tell me not respecting email list unsubscriptions constitutes a GDPR violation and i can turbo moneyfuck people who dare send me email
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kremlin · 9 days
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GHPC seems fun.
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good morning
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kremlin · 9 days
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Everything 2, Photo by Anthony Hernandez, 2002-04
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kremlin · 9 days
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