knightquest

[knightquest]

>APPREHEND THE HORSE!

Shit.

Dumb horse... It's ALWAYS getting up to some nonsense like this! You swear it has a mind of its own. A mind that's much too nefarious and full of mischief! That's what you get for buying off the discount rack instead of top shelf! Not a literal top shelf, it was actually a stable but... It's a metaphor! Alright?

Where'd that nuisance get off to anyway?

...horse?

>SUGGEST

#p. 03 #knightquest #blood

[knightquest]

>Find a sword

Uh.

You DO have a sword. Right?

Of course you do! What knight DOESN'T have a sword? It's just... tucked away somewhere! Right?

>Find the sword

>Find your sword

>FIND YOUR SWORD RIGHT NOW

Surely it's-

You could've sworn...

Okay. It's official. You lost it.

What kind of knight LOSES their sword the DAY they're supposed to go on their first ever quest?! This is awful! Horrendous! You want to crawl back into bed and wallow and cry and-

Wait.

Oh.

>SUGGEST

#p. 02 #knightquest

[knightquest]

>Begin

You are a KNIGHT! And you intend to become one of the BEST there EVER was! The idea of adventure and peril has always captivated you, and today is the day you finally go out on your first QUEST!

But... you need to find one first. So far there have been no real calls to adventure, no swords in stones, no mysterious old men with a prophecy... It looks like you're going to need to jump-start your road to greatness with your own two hands!

You figure that the castle must be the best place to start! The KING of this land must have some monster he needs fought, or maybe an evil advisor that needs to be ousted, or... or maybe even a princess that needs saving!

The name of this castle? Camelot? Nah, that's somewhere up north. This is Castle Shlump. Nowhere near as impressive, but it has a booming manure industry! The ruler of this castle is his eminence King Carmine! He rules with an IRON-FIST because he lost his fleshy one in a tragic pig-related accident. Legends say the little guy is still running around the countryside with the king's bones stuck in his teeth! Cool!

You're going to be the BEST KNIGHT EVER!

What should you do next?

>SUGGEST

#p.01 #knightquest

[knightquest]

Almost time!

[knightquest]

ANNOUNCEMENT!

Starting January 2nd 2024 will begin a little game called Knight Quest! It is an audience-participation game a la Problemsleuth wherein you assist our little knight friend on his quest by either voting on his next move or suggesting a course of action!

Rules: Explicit sexual topics, extreme gore, and anything overtly NSFW are NOT allowed. If your suggestion is not taken, it is NOT personal, I can only take one suggestion per post, after all! Anyone found to be causing problems or acting rudely will be blocked. This is for fun, y'all.

Whenever an action is to be voted on, it will be accompanied with a Tumblr poll set to 1 day. Whenever an action needs a suggestion from you, the audience, simply leave a reply! Do NOT send an ask or a submission through one of my other blogs, I will take suggestions from the reply section of the post ONLY.