kiwiparallels

[kiwiparallels]

i hate how docs will run a few tests and be like yeah idk what it is go to this specialist who will run tests and not know what it is either

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There is no shame in loving without abandon. ✌️❤️

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I got a phone call from the police station about my teenage llama this week, telling me some tourists had called them upon seeing a llama crossing the road, who “stopped when she saw us” and “refused to give way” (their complaint in French sounded amazingly traffic-related, “elle n’a pas cédé le passage”…) The policeman told them yeah that’s our Pampe! don’t worry about it she’s living her life, you can try to pet her but she’s shy with strangers… Imagine calling the police about a llama refusing to abide by basic road rules and being told haha that’s our girl! Give her a pat for me! Pampérigouste, you are very annoying and very loved.

I started following that road looking for her, occasionally calling her with my special I Come Bearing Muesli whistle (and it was a lie), and as soon as I got mobile reception I received a text from a neighbour telling me “Ton affreuse est là” (“your horrible one is here”). I turned around to go pick her up, and discovered that he had locked her in the Horny Bull Pen, aka his most securised enclosure. When Pampe escapes to his farm just to be a pest she usually hangs out with his cows until I arrive and he doesn’t mind, so it was a little joke, and it was so funny finding Pampe languishing in a high-security prison. She looked very put out and I told her she absolutely deserved her sentence. Then I opened the gate and I didn’t even need my rope, she was happy to be pardoned and to see Pandolf, and followed us readily, on the road and then through the woods to my farm, it felt so companionable, the three of us walking home together.

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New Crow Time! It’s the Hound Knight. He’s a good boy!!!

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another one

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You know my favorite bits in period dramas are the ones where the heroine is “not like other girls” and chooses not to wear a corset because let’s be real, no inteligent woman in a period drama setting would do that.

And then you can tell it was written by someone without a chest because next thing you know, they’ll be running off across a field or something.

Like girl, you just took off the only breast support you had, and now you’re sprinting across a field?? How is this not an issue??

And then they’re like “I’m a woman of science” but clearly no, because any woman who knows anything about weight distribution wouldn’t choose to fling off their corset whilst still wearing a poofy skirt. Like it’s there for a reason. It distributes the weight and keeps your 50 lbs of skirts from digging into your bare skin. And I cannot stress this strongly enough, IT SUPPORTS THE BUST. WHAT ARE YOU DOING. I’ll make an exception if they’re dressing as a man or have anything gender going on, but otherwise, WHAT ARE YOU DOING??

And then they say it’s because they’re painful or that they’re “instruments of the patriarchy”, except no they fucking weren’t, men wore corsets too, they were literally just bust support and historical corsets didn’t hurt, because they were made to fit your body, and they actually molded to fit it more the more you wore them. I know, I have multiple.

And if you think one couldn’t breathe, yes you could, people wore corset like garments for like 500 years, you think they would wear them if they couldn’t breathe? And no they didn’t lace them tightly except for special occasions and that was only a few people. In fact for most of history, it was physically impossible to lace boned garments any tighter then they were supposed to go because metal eyelets weren’t invented yet. You achieved the small waist look by padding out your hips and maybe your chest and sleeves creating an optical illusion

[kiwiparallels]

This time, tomorrow.

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olive in her favourite spot having a ponder

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Hello, Draco! Is it true that you were caught snogging Harry Potter in a broom closet? 👀

Draco wants everyone to know for the record that these rumors are false and he and Harry are JUST friends 👀

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Me texting a guy from my film club a question about a screen test at one in the morning because I just remembered it and don't want to forget it vs him replying ten minutes later

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[kiwiparallels]

doodles

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ily: i love you

ilysm: i love you so much

hhhnbliiqhwrbowdm: harry, however, had never been less interested in quidditch; he was rapidly becoming obsessed with draco malfoy.

[kiwiparallels]

There's this girl on tiktok that makes videos like "me going to a party in 2010" and it hits me so hard that the 2010s had specific fashion and habits that are SO different from today and so different from the 2000s and it just screams to me "you're old, bitch"

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just boys being in love boys

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You know I'm sympathetic to all this "we need to scare the twitter users away by being ultracringe" (I am always in favor of opportunities to be ultracringe), but I honestly think the twitter users can handle that. What we really need to do is scare the twitter users away with the only thing they're truly not prepared for: multiple paragraphs of reading. Quick, everybody longpost!