kingofthegummybears

[kingofthegummybears]

Twitch Streamer Mary Ann Skuttle AU

She almost exclusively plays video games, tho sometimes she reviews the quality and cuteness of plushies. Sometimes she updates people on her quokki pet's level or how her personal AC Island looks, or her longest running Stardew Farm. (Maru IS her favorite Stardew marriageable NPC because it reminds her of her "loser boyfriend".)

Sometimes she gets her friends to play games with her on stream, or they're just in the background hanging out. Once when a game comes out that Mary Ann is legit excited for (in her own way) everyone gathers in a little watch party in the background with snacks as they settle in for the Marathon stream about to happen.

If she misses some streams she probably tosses out a simple update about her and her friends being on a quest or something similar that she implies is kinda lame. Her watchers KNOW she's an adventurer but there is never any elaboration.

They also know she has a boyfriend but known VERY little about him.

Loser Boyfriend™️ Confirmed Facts

1. Loser

2. His quokki pets gameplay is trash

3. Also an adventurer ig

4. Plays drums sometimes

5. They officially met when she curb-stomped his ass at a sports tryouts and he got mad. (No elaboration)

6. He made her a switch capable of running ROMhacks and mods.

7. Half-orc. The only times they have ever seen him is once or twice when he wordlessly hands her a mango soda from off screen. They have an entire emote of his hand with the soda bottle they spam sometimes. (#bottleboi)

Which is to say when Gorgug shows up in the background of the stream one day, cause Mary Ann rearranged or was streaming from somewhere else temporarily, people start freaking out.

Mary Ann notices but only comments "yeah, that's my loser boyfriend. Don't worry about it."

THAT'S NOT THE ISSUE MARY ANN!!!

THAT'S GORGUG THISTLESPRING, FAMOUS 4X WORLD SAVING RENOWN ADVENTURER BEFORE HE EVEN FINISHED HIGHSCHOOL, THE FIRST EVER BARBIFICER IN THE WORLD, AND GODDAMN FAMOUS ROCK STAR.

YOU CALL HIM YOUR LOSER BOYFRIEND?????

"His quokki pets gameplay is trash."

MA'AM-

[kingofthegummybears]

thistleskuttle nation make some fucking NOISE

[kingofthegummybears]

This post by @recycledraccoon made me laugh real hard so i drew it

[kingofthegummybears]

After some much needed post-battle rest, Gorgug is still left with one mystery to solve. How the hell is he supposed to figure out Mary Ann’s phone number? First, he asks Fig for help since she’s apparently on lime level. She laugh reacts to his message and tells him she has absolutely no clue what Quokki Pets is but she’ll meet him at Basrar’s.

Fig offers to Wanda Childa Mary Ann to try to get more information out of her and Gorgug practically begs her not to. They agree instead to request Adaine’s research expertise. Adaine sends them a bulleted list of Quokki Pets facts including where to find the game. The three of them meet at the Elmville mall to see if Mary Ann actually left her phone number there. Adaine starts mage handing copies of the game over to Fig (disguised as an employee) who opens them to see if there are any notes inside. Gorgug purchases a copy for himself. Maybe actually playing the game could be a good idea (and impress Mary Ann if that’s even possible). 

After being booted from the store, Mary Ann’s number still eluding them, they consider that finding Mary Ann’s profile could help. They enlist their tech genius, so Riz shows up with his equipment ready to go. He hacks into the Quokki Pets message boards and finds a high level user located in Elmville with the name Mangostrawb. Gotta be her. So they look through her posts on the message boards and mostly just find her showing off her Quokkis, leaving scathing comments on non-optimized builds, or occasionally dropping tips for new players. After scrolling through dozens of pages, they’re positive Mangostrawb is Mary Ann but that’s still not exactly helpful.

They finally call it quits for the day and go their separate ways, vowing to keep helping Gorgug get to that bench. Late that night as he’s embarking on his Quokki Pets journey, Gorgug gets a text from an unknown number. He opens it. “you don’t just get quokki pets. they come to you”

Gorgug sighs and puts his crystal down. She's so fucking annoying.

And so hot.

[kingofthegummybears]

there's something so goddamn funny about Mary Ann Scuttle x Gorgug to me. Because they're tropes, right? Everyone in the Fantasy High world is a trope from Riverdale and Breakfast Club and every teen movie except for Mary Ann "Tribute to Real Teenagers" Scuttle.

Something about the ordinary girl who speaks two sentences, only about things she's interested in, approaching Mr. Teenage Rockstar + Superhero, Hannah Montana Clark Kent Mad Scientist teen mashup and asking "do you have a girlfriend 😐"...

...and he's the one who breaks down saying "she's so hot--" to her Same Grey Sweatshirt Every Day, lives in Animal Crossing, plushie collection vibes? Mr Rockstar caves at the slightest romantic vibe?? That's beautiful, actually. Self-shippers, I'm sorry I ever doubted you, your superhuman bae does want you back -

[kingofthegummybears]

well, partially good news

Honestly I’m so broken up about the rat grinders. I really don’t think they will get revived after all this, and they were still just kids! They were manipulated by adults via their insecurities and anger! They are just a different example of how the teachers of aguefort are failing these children, but things could have been so different.

The kids they use to be, before Porter and Jace, deserve the be mourned just as much as Lucy.

Edit: just because after looking online apparently this is a controversial take and I don’t want anyone to yell at me, the bad kids have every right to kill them. The rat grinders are flawed and would need to change significantly if they did get revived. Especially Kipperlilly, given her track record, really needs help. I’m not saying whether their deaths are wrong or not, or that they should be revived. I know it’s just a show and that it includes violence. Just as characters, I think the rat grinders have a ton of potential and I would have loved to see them develop.

[kingofthegummybears]

wouldn’t be shocked whatsoever, she’s not angry like they are, her getting mad in the most recent ep just feels like normal teen barbarian anger.

i do think the funniest revelation at the end of the season would be that mary anne was never rage crystalled in the first place, she just kinda went along with the vibe

[kingofthegummybears]

have you seen this man's kiss in freecam. he just goes for it. he just grabs it two-fisted by the handful anytime anywhere. are you telling me nobody has anything to say about this.

[kingofthegummybears]

Bhaal: I wonder what my favoritest little breeding stud is up to. Bet it's murder. Heheh... Sceleretas whispers in his ear: ..... Bhaal: .......... He's fucking a corpse? Why, that's just fine! Sceleretas: ..... Bhaal: .... The... same corpse you say.... Sceleretas, regretfully: .... Bhaal: He's eating bread? Well, I suppose that's a normal thing for mortals to do, I... Sceleretas, urgently: .....!! Bhaal: HE'S WHAT!?!?!?

imagine birthing out a big powerful demigod out of your own flesh and sinew, sculpting every piece of his body so he's design-made to be a brutal killing machine with uncontrollable murderous intent and then all you can do is sit back and watch as he goes off and gets romped in the hind by this twink instead

never have kids they'll just break your heart

[kingofthegummybears]

when I was 14 I worked in a grocery store and one day I got to bag Stephen King’s groceries and of course, being the little horror fiction nerd I am I was completely starstruck

I think he thought I was gonna ask for an autograph because I was not even lowkey staring I was full on moon-faced and bouncing and he kept looking over at me hesitantly like aw jeez kid fuck off

anyways I finally managed to squeak out that I was a huge fan and asked for advice on writing, “how do I write as well as you do?” in my horrible thick German accent and broken ass English and he gave me the best writing advice I have ever received

“shit kid, stop worrying about how other people do it and just write your story”

14 years later my wife and I nearly hit him with our car because he was jaywalking

[kingofthegummybears]

i will say also because i am very much in the doctor/river brainspace rn: it is unendingly charming that she spends all of silence in the library telling ten about how perfect and amazing her husband is (and, in fact, consistently does this with literally anyone in her vicinity who either is listening to her or can be forced to do it) and then as soon as her actual husband who actually loves her is in the vicinity she tells him to his face that he should be drop kicked down a flight of stairs and that she’s gonna be the one to do it. that is always and forever my kind of woman

[kingofthegummybears]

[at a zoo]

Astarion: What are they in for?

Gale: This isn't prison, Astarion

Astarion: So they can leave?

Gale: No but-

Astarion, pointing at a meerkat: I bet that one murdered someone

[kingofthegummybears]

'we could be good for each other'

(not really)

[kingofthegummybears]

You don’t even need to watch the whole video, if you watch the first 15 minutes of the video you already have enough proof to completely disregard what was claimed, that’s it. He lays it all out in the open

the kwite situation is so funny like people going “i’m not going to watch the video but im just deciding he must’ve just said “i didn’t do it” and everyone’s just believing him” like no he had footage of the accuser straight up admitting it was a lie in the first 3 mins, thats straight up not the case you stupid fucks

[kingofthegummybears]

I can’t believe how much I miss when I only listen to the audio

someone should give Rick perry a fucking medal for this one

[kingofthegummybears]

[kingofthegummybears]