"Don't talk to me about your surgery, it's not profitable for the company"
"That string on your back makes you look like a pig. It fits your personality"
"don't carry your stuff up to your chest, it makes you look suspicious"
"you're wearing your apron before you clock in? That's suspicious"
"*dead names and misgenders trans coworkers*" uh it's [name and pronouns] "whatever 🙄"
*day after grandpa's funeral* "*literally first thing she says to me* I'm going to need proof that your grandpa actually passed"
*day after cousin's funeral* "we don't do funerals for cousins, so you're unexcused"
"hey can you work on Monday?" *I have every Monday off so I can help take care of my sister* Sorry, I can't i- "ugh you always use your dad's heart attack to get out of work" ????
"*while parked in the closest spot to the store* you can't park by the lamp post, customers are more important. But [fiance who also works at store] can park by the store"
"you can't work with [fiance who also works at store]" "*also her* [fiance who also works at store] is working, does that make you want to pick up a shift?"
*me cleaning raw meat juice off the counter* "you clean too much, it makes us look bad because you're not standing in front of your register" I'm cleaning raw me- "I dont care. You clean too much"
Some lady asked me if I read a lot. I told her that I listen to audiobooks. apparently that's the wrong answer and I'm the cause of the collapse of society 😂😂😂
Me: *tired of watching Disney Jr shows, but knows it's three kids against one adult* uhh.. okay, fine
My niece: cool! *Turns on Bluey *
Episode: Copycat
Me at the end: this....this is a kids' show???
Next episode: Perfect
Bandit: Look, I'm keen to get it done, but, Chilli, she wants to keep her options open. But I don't know. Do we want any more of these things running around?