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Heartbreak is an odd experience. At 7am you wish you could snooze your alarm and hide from the sunlight. At 10 you feel unstoppable and like maybe today is the day the heartbreak will ease. At 1pm you鈥檙e crying at your desk silently, hoping no one will notice and at 2 you鈥檙e running to the bathroom because you feel nauseous. At 3 you feel like you can manage. At 5 you鈥檙e exhausted from your heart leading you on this emotional roller coaster and your brain unsuccessfully trying to take back control. Come 8 o鈥檆lock and you鈥檙e squeezing your pillow, howling out to the moon wishing you could feel anything, anything but this.
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you weren鈥檛 mine, but i still loved you.
You weren't mine, but I still loved you. So here it goes, Mattie, I loved you. I know, I know it's crazy to have been in love with someone that was just there when they needed their needs met, but I still loved you. I always wonder if you really thought about me or if I was just some play toy to you? Did I mean anything to you? I鈥檒l never know those answers, and that fucking sucks to think about.
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