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Emily Dickinson, from a letter to Abiah Root written c. January 1846

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and i hate to think that there came a time where despair was our new normal and i couldn't be your peace. i hate to think i was supposed to be your home, your safe space, and instead i was the one who started the war.

- dee (accountability)

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you are, so far

the greatest loss of my life

- dee (loml)

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i have loved you from a distance, when that love was reciprocated. and i have loved you while being centimeters from your lips. and now, i still do, from a distance once again. it is not reciprocated. it is not a mutual feeling anymore. but i still do. this love is undying, painful in the most beautiful way possible. and i will continue to do it, i will continue to wish you the best with everything you ever told me you dreamed of, and everything i do not get to know about anymore. because that is what i do. i am good at loving you. whether you are mine or not. a love so strong, i can carry it on for the both of us, forever. here i am, here i remain, loving you with every little string my heart is made.

- dee (chantings of the heart)

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“Your identity should be so secure that when someone walks away from you they don’t take you with them.”

— Unknown

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The silence can be so violent.

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“I will not beg you for your time or try to convince you to choose me, the world is too big and I have too much to offer.”

— Unknown

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I don't regret you but sometimes I wish I had walked away at the start and left things at hello. Because I rearranged my life to fit into yours and that's where I went wrong. Now I have to rearrange my life again and find a new future without you. And that's the hardest part of losing you.

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“Loving me isn’t easy, I have sharp edges, I have missing parts.”

— Donte Collins

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now i am forced to somehow un-love you. as if i never craved your touch, your kiss, or simply your presence across the room. i am forced to pretend this heart is not longing for your return. we are now two strangers who shared a past, and an imaginary future together. i am forced to dry my tears at night and make myself believe this is for the better. my arms no longer have a home. and your absence will forever torment my soul.

- dee (i am forced to forget us)

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I struggle with the fact that at one time I loved you to the point that I sacrificed my own happiness for you and that, at the same time, you did not love me enough to stop me.

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“I don’t trust words anymore. I only trust actions. People can pretend to do a lot without beeing serious about it.”

— Moritz Fer

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Sylvia Plath, from a journal entry featured in "The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath,"

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“I think people spend too much time staring into screens and not enough time drinking wine, tongue kissing, and dancing und the moon.”

— Rachel Wolchin

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funny gofs

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Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979) dir. Werner Herzog