keen-on-euphemisms

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Who's your favourite witcher?

#waitaminut #wait a goddamn minute #wait a minute #wait #witcher eskel #tw3

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wish i could go back to eden and give eve a vibrator

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every time i think, i take 10 damage

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i wanna know what everyone’s majors are mutuals i want to know i love you and i’m interested

#journalism and mass communication #and also phylology

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So here is the thing.

I think I have a major crush and apparently its mutual.

And it scares the shit out of me.

All started here, and now the only thing I can think of is writing a bigger post out of it. All feedback is appreciated as my head is a mess.

I met this guy at the party and we clicked immediately. We chatted for a week, and he came for a private lesson - I have one wonderful talent that I'm willing to share sometimes - with me. We ended up having absolutely insane night after the lesson together. And we keep meeting over the course of 3 weeks now.

I never had anything like it. First of, I never thought with the level of my fucked up personality and interests someone actually accept it and like it. Second, sexual chemistry is insane, especially for me as demisexual. And when i say insane, think of the smuttiest fanfic you ever read kind of stuff. And third, this is the first time of me meeting someone this mature in the head - never experienced this level of healthy communication.

I am scared like shit.

At times, I really have to shake my head to remind myself that this is real because the level of doubts that this is not a dream, especially for someone delulu like me, is off the charts. Maybe because, again, the healthy level of communication in all of the areas of our relationship. With my traumatic background it's astonishing to have it at all. I am terrified this is a smartly laid trap even if all the facts speak against it.

And I am terrified of fucking it up. Because I want to keep myself, my authentic self, and at the same time find healthy compromise for being with another person.

He knows of my fears, i told him, and he is willing to take it slow and wait for me to sort my head out. He is family oriented at his age, so he straight out told me that it won't be fuck buddies situation because he has confidence that it can go long way. As he said, the intensity that I feel is the same for him (and by the way, he started this talk, not me). It doesn't scare him, my sheepishness, the only thing that scares him is losing what we started to build now.

And he is leaving country for 4 months because of work. Which at one hand I want, as I need this time, and on the other hand, I already feeling sick of the perspective of not having this person close to me.

I for sure for the first time in my life experience something like this. And if you can give me your support - god knows I need it and will appreciate it.

I'm so fucked you guys. So fucked I'm on the brink of tears.

#personal shit

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I recently had surgery, and at the time I came home, I had both my cat and one of my grandma's cats staying with me.

- Within hours of surgery, I wake up from a nap to my cat gently sniffing at my incisions with great alarm.

- I was not allowed to shower the first day after surgery, and the cats, seeing that The Large Cat is not observing its cleaning ritual, decided I must be gravely disabled and compensated by licking all the exposed skin on my arms, face, and legs.

- I currently have to sleep with a pillow over my abdomen because my cat insists on climbing on top of me and covering my incisions with her body while I sleep (which is very sweet but not exactly comfortable without the pillow). She also lays across me facing my bedroom door, presumably on guard for attackers who may try to harm me while I'm sleeping and injured.

That's love. 🐈‍⬛🐈❤️

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Fontainebleau State Park, Louisiana by Lana Gramlich

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fun fact: Boston Museum of Science calls their evening lecture series “SubSpace”, which would be a totally innocuous math term except for the fact that, to make sure you know these lectures are higher-level and not aimed at their usual audience (kids), they chose to subtitle it “SubSpace: Adult Experiences”

😶

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Sometimes I think how effortlessly for me be a kind person. And in those moments I don't understand how people struggle with that.

Take today, for example. I asked a very close person to me help me out because they knew I was struggling financially. I asked, not a big sum - not by their standards, knowing their purchase history. 1 month rent + bare minimum not to die of hunger. And I got the money. In the end.

But I was interrogated and made feel like shit for asking money in the first place. What's with your work? You know, I told you countless times. What do you plan to do? I again told you. When you'll return it? Fuck it, the sooner the better. And if that doesn't work out how will you repay? Etc, etc, etc.

I'm extremely vulnerable and asking for help. Is it that hard to say - hey, I understand you need money, I'm also struggling financially, so please make sure to return it as soon as you can. Like, how hard is it? Maybe I don't understand something in life? But why when I try to help out my friends and lend them the last of my salary, I do that, and I not only have those friends, but they always repay me in kind?

I feel like I was raped emotionally.

Moral of the story, don't be an asshole and if you can't be kind, at least be fucking honest.

#personal shit

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i forgot all abt this comic until right now. the text is from a tumblr post of a discord message lol

[id is in alt text]

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It puzzles me when people cite LOTR as the standard of “simple” or “predictable” or “black and white” fantasy. Because in my copy, the hero fails. Frodo chooses the Ring, and it’s only Gollum’s own desperation for it that inadvertently saves the day. The fate of the world, this whole blood-soaked war, all the millennia-old machinations of elves and gods, comes down to two addicts squabbling over their Precious, and that is precisely and powerfully Tolkien’s point. 

And then the hero goes home, and finds home a smoking desolation, his neighbors turned on one another, that secondary villain no one finished off having destroyed Frodo’s last oasis not even out of evil so much as spite, and then that villain dies pointlessly, and then his killer dies pointlessly. The hero is left not with a cathartic homecoming, the story come full circle in another party; he is left to pick up the pieces of what was and what shall never be again. 

And it’s not enough. The hero cannot heal, and so departs for the fabled western shores in what remains a blunt and bracing metaphor for death (especially given his aged companions). When Sam tells his family, “Well, I’m back” at the very end, it is an earned triumph, but the very fact that someone making it back qualifies as a triumph tells you what kind of story this is: one that is too honest to allow its characters to claim a clean victory over entropy, let alone evil. 

“I can’t recall the taste of food, nor the sound of water, nor the touch of grass. I’m naked in the dark. There’s nothing–no veil between me and the wheel of fire. I can see him with my waking eyes.”

So where’s this silly shallow hippie fever-dream I’ve heard so much about? It sounds like a much lesser story than the one that actually exists.

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Yasha I don't honestly know what compelled me to draw, just thought, eh, I'm going to draw Yasha today

#critical role #yasha nydoorin