karansletters

[karansletters]

Nurchaliza

It's so hard to write about you.

I have captured a shitload of moments these past few days. We were making a lot of memories in our last days together.

The two of us, the rangers, your favorite Kakak.

But I truly can't post - nor repost - anything.

It's hard to imagine that you're not coming back.

I mean, of course you will - but to a different place.

Nothing will ever be the same.

But that's what life is, right? It challenges you to new dynamics. It keeps you in motion so you won't die out of boredom (I'm sorry it's me).

But (so many buts now), this is hard.

In my graduation day, my best friends cried. They're afraid they won't see me again. I said, "I'm definitely still one call away sis whatchu talking about?" , laughing, trying to cheer them up.

Not this time. Everytime I imagine you leaving, it feels as if a rock struck down my throat. I can't say anything about it.

Is it because I used to meet you everyday? Is it because I won't meet you in person (at least) for the next two years? Liza, what makes you so special to me and why can't I stop my tears from coming out of my eyes?

Liza, I thank you for being genuine. I thank you for always trying to cover up other people's bad intentions with your most non-sensible reasons. I thank you for not giving up on me. I thank you for always giving me the space I needed, and to always come back in the perfect time. I thank you for being the amazing figure I could never forget in my life, a figure so bright yet close that I could always look up to. I thank you for trusting me with your early hints on your next big plans. I thank you for your endless love, attention, and care to me.

Heck Liz, I haven't even fully done with realizing that you're someone's wife, I haven't really get to know your husband- and now you're LEAVING me? I thought you're an angel all along 🙄🤧

In case I haven't told you how much I love you, I hope this letter prove it. I hope I don't make you feel that I take you for granted. I hope I never entice any bad feelings to your heart. If you were a diamond in the mud, I'm definitely a bug just laying around nearby. You were always the diamond everyone were looking for, and look at you now, shedding off all those mud!

Geez, you're supposed to be my colleague, why am I getting so emotionally invested now😤

Liza, you are wonderful and your husband is indeed the luckiest man in the world. Please let me subscribe to LizaNews™️ because having you in my life is one of the best class I had in my life.

I love you 4ever. Rais, over my dead body!!

I wish that you will live a better life. A good school, a better state of living. And when you come back, I wish you'll meet a more supporting team, a good career progress, and a job that fits your pure passion in learning and teaching.

I hope I can see you again when I'm in a better form and state of mind, dear everyone's favorite little sister.

🌾💕, KL

[karansletters]

Farisa

Dengan Ka Risa, aku serahkan segalanya. Tidak pernah ada debat apakah ini rasa, atau mengapa ia diadu dengan logika. Semua terasa tepat, melebur saja layaknya manusia.

Dengan Ka Risa, aku berani menutup mata. Karena ia adalah seorang dewi penjaga, walau kadang yang dungu tidak sengaja membuatnya terluka, tapi ia dianugerahi kekuatan cinta. Entah datang dari mana, tapi tak pernah tampak dasarnya.

Dengan Ka Risa, aku percaya. Bahwa cinta bisa jadi buta, cinta bisa menghasilkan banyak rasa, namun cinta itu mulia karena ia bisa terpancar dari dada merasuk siapapun yang ingin menangkapnya.

Ka Risa, percaya atau tidak, bahagiamu adalah bahagiaku juga. Setiap langkah yang Kakak tempuh hanya menunjukkan imaji Risa yang semakin kukuh.

Apapun itu, aku akan setia disini, menanti impian apa yang akan Kakak raih, mendukungmu semampuku.

Selamat atas hari bahagiamu, doa baikku semoga menyertaimu.

[karansletters]

Nabila

2021, Juli 30

I'm honored you reached out when you're submitted to the ICU 147km away from your place.

I want you to know you can trust me and I gladly take the unsaid oath. We will chat you everyday, making sure you're alive and well.

You told us, you told us all about it. How your mom died, how you survived, and how you cried for your mom several days later, forgetting that she passed you by.

You said you keep on getting better you said the doctor will let you out in 3 days you said you forgot if it were 3 days already.

But we took you for granted.

After the big day festivity, I haven't reached out to you since. You haven't replied, and I forgot to nudge.

Until I had to find this out from somebody else. I didn't see this coming, and I hope no one did.

The amount of love you gave, to the beauty of this world, to the warm friends you gathered, is all too unnatural, you may be too good for this world.

I know God has better days for you, insyaAllah in heaven.

[karansletters]

Aqidah

2020, 14 Juni

This is what love feels like. Bear with me.. I spent three tissues already.

Under certain circumstances... I could’ve been there. The only thing stopping me is this virus -and perhaps my parents preventive measures. I could be the first TI friend to hug you as someone’s wife, I could spend the lunch time talking to the amazing woman you called every night, I could spend the whole day not complaining the lack of schedule, cause seeing you smiling is a standalone agenda that can’t be replaced with anything.

You know what happens under any circumstances? You, and how amazing you are.

My dear, Tomorrow’s your wedding day. And I know, your path was always a long, rocky one, but I still can’t figure how come you never showed a sweat? You fight, and you taught the rest of us how to, cause you don’t want your loved ones left behind you. You were always the one who brought me back to my race, no matter how flighty I’ve been in most cases. I don’t know whether it’s your parents’ prayer or mine, but I couldn’t imagine a life without you as my friend.

And you know what? No one’s ever not lucky to have you as their friend. They say you reap what you sow, but they don’t tell you that you could sow that much love to a person. You are a gift to everyone’s who met you, and no one could truly do it like you.

It’s funny. You are the only close friend who didn’t get to read any of my letters. I’ve never finished one for you. It was all so difficult to build, cause no word can ever do justice on how life-changing my life had been since you took me by your hand.

You know what’s also funny? Me saying that I might be burdened with the customary bridal showers, You agreeing yet still said “of course I expect you to throw one for me”. I may get what I want, but that won’t be fair. So I promise I’ll create something when the airs are clear!

Thank you for all the weird days of us riding your motorbike together, of us studying upside down at every D-1s, of us hanging back and forth in each other’s room, of us reminiscing Bandung with less gloom.

You’re so much a part of my life, and it’s time you spark someone else’s for the rest of your life. Til jannah, my sister.

#i didnt cry like this during my brothers help