kaenanmatsuura

[kaenanmatsuura]

in the age of shrinkflation, Subway execs must be kicking their marketing department down long flights of stairs for their branding choices. Building around their "sandwhich" sizes being 12 and 6 inches respectively instead of going with something like "full" and "half". Can practically guarantee they make the switch in the 3 next three years anyway, and pretty soon after that the sanwhiches will be smaller than (i hold my hands up, gesturing to the thousands of adoring fans, inviting them to say the punchline with me) "My.. Peanut.. Sized.. Penus!"(millions applauding) Goodnight folks. thanks so much folks thats my time no seriously youve been too kind but i really have to go thanks so much thank you no thank you (i am escorted off stage by hot security)

[kaenanmatsuura]

[kaenanmatsuura]

Customer: YOU FOOL DMV: CONFRONTATIONAL Verdict: DENIED

[kaenanmatsuura]

[kaenanmatsuura]

[kaenanmatsuura]

when will it end..... when will we be free......

[kaenanmatsuura]

best description of morgan spurlock's legacy ever

[kaenanmatsuura]

unfortunately a lot of the corny self help advice turns out to be true but the thing is you have to come to those conclusions yourself otherwise it just sounds dismissive and dumb

[kaenanmatsuura]

HOLD THE LINE!! KEEP PUSHING!!!!!

[kaenanmatsuura]

adult hood is just

*buys a half gallon of milk* *uses it all within a few days* *decided to buy a gallon of milk to not run out before next shopping trip* *uses a teaspoon of milk that week and it goes bad somehow* *buys a quart of milk instead so it won’t go bad* *uses it in one day* *buys a quart and a half gallon of milk because the gallon was too much but the half gallon was not enough* *only uses the half gallon* *gives up on milk for a few days in general* *buys a gallon of milk again just to tempt fate* *somehow uses all of it without realizing and then has to eat sad cereal with like the 5 drops of remaining milk*

[kaenanmatsuura]

You can have a lifesize version of one of these, which one are you picking?

#party bus obvi

[kaenanmatsuura]

If you’ve tried to reach out to me in the last 7-8 years and I didn’t get back to you I’m medicated now and I’ll be reaching out to you shortly

[kaenanmatsuura]

WHEN will life give me a girlfriend 🙏

[kaenanmatsuura]

Please purchase eSims for Gazans

[kaenanmatsuura]

man someone set fire to my home

[kaenanmatsuura]

Book Stack Earrings // Elli Creates

[kaenanmatsuura]