justanothertyrsday

[justanothertyrsday]

[justanothertyrsday]

physically in zoom class mentally in rosendal

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[justanothertyrsday]

Druid shrine in North Yorkshire, England

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[justanothertyrsday]

photography by BENEDIKTE RONESS

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Autumn by the Świder River #2 Jesień nad Świdrem #2

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[justanothertyrsday]

The gods have no gender binary or genders that work the same way humans perceive them. Do you gender a storm? A fire? A mountain? A tree? No. So why gender a God?

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I forgot I made this sticker (which is… something, considering I have one of them on my front door), adding it to the files I’m taking to printshop this week

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source

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Sources: 🍄 🍄

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compliment recklessly! say the nice things that come to your head! we've got better things to do than resisting the instinct to be kind!

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Instagram

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list of mundane things that feel like ancient human rituals

cleaning or wipe your bare feet

breaking off a piece of bread and handing it to someone

putting the weight of a basket on your hip or head

eating nuts or berries while hunched over close to the ground

seeing something startling just out of your line of sight and very quickly stepping or leaping on to a larger object to get a better view

cupping your hands into running water to wash your face

the unanimous protection of a baby or child in a public space where women are present

when an elderly woman laughs and grips your forearm tightly

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From Catholicism to Atheism to Paganism... the Struggle

I have been having a hard time lately, falling back on old habits. For the longest time, I believed in nothing, almost aggressively. I was so sure that we died and were worm food. That was it. And of course, I am still not sure what happens. No one is sure, but many people believe something happens, and so that is how they live.

One thing I have always believed is that some things are meant to happen. I mean, some events in my life were so impactful that there must have been a reason. Was it to make me more resilient, to give me some type of lived experience so awful that I might be more compassionate one day? And then I would think about how ridiculous I sounded. Nothing was certain, it couldn’t possibly have been purposeful because no one would be so fucked up as to make this a meaningful life event for some grander purpose.

I would always backpedal, and I would always end up right back in the same place. Between two beliefs!

1. This was meant to happen! There is a lesson in this to take from this experience, and I should hold on to it for the time I will need it in the future.

2. If there was a god, and this was all a part of their “plan”, they would have to be a really fucked up god, and not the kind of god I’d want to believe in.

So much of my life was spent glorifying “rational” thinking in a way where anyone who was religious wasn’t thinking rationally. I had this reflex, this unstoppable reaction that would occur whenever anyone mentioned religious beliefs of any kind. I was so defensive. Everything was of my own doing, and anything I didn’t do personally was all random, outside of my control. I was so sure of it.

But there was always this little voice in my head that said “What if!” I felt like a looney tune, but it was always there. “What if! ... this was all a part of a bigger plan for you? What if the skepticism was on purpose?”

I kept going around in circles. We learned about Predestination in school, in religion class. It sounded crazy to me, but also intriguing. So you’re telling me that everything I do and everything I think is mapped out? My entire life I won’t make one independent decision? Nonsense.

I believed it when I was younger, when I had a strong, strong faith in the Catholic god. That god was always with me, so I believed. That was all you had to do for it to be “real”: believe it was happening. How convenient.

But here I am, about 25 years later, revisiting this thought about beliefs. I have heard the stories of the Norse gods. They say that my fate is already decided, all of it. The three Norn sisters weave the strands of fate, mine included. I have to say, as a feminist, I love the idea of three women deciding who I am meant to be in this life. Odin gave me breath, sure, but three women are the ones who have plotted out my life like some 13 year old girls playing the Sims. I love it.

My problem, as always, is that I don’t know how to believe. I have such a revulsion toward traditional prayer, offerings, regular expectations that come from Catholicism and Christianity as a whole. I also admittedly don’t know what I’m doing aside from Catholic practicing. That is the only way I know how to “worship”. (Even typing that came out with a scowl...)

Catholicism has left such a sour taste in my mouth that I worry I won’t be able to let go and see where this takes me. I think I just need to do things. I just need to try. Until next time.

#personal

[justanothertyrsday]