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in the gc rn we are Rotating, due to critical first-time-homebuyer brainrot, a mundane AU where hinata is a home inspector. "hey can you peep inside that wall real quick and let me know if there's water damage? thanks"

itachi is a real estate agent (who often works with hinata) not because he has social skills but because he mind controls everyone else into cooperating. the mangekyō sharingan can see all aspects of the california housing code at once, etc

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metroidvania where you play as a xenobiologist trying to restore the native ecology of a planet that's been devastated by human colonization and the introduction of all manners of invasive species. you move from level to level, destroying human settlements, killing invasive aliens, and planting stalks of tentacles in key areas where they can once again take root and fill the level with tentacles. as these "vegetation" flourish, all manners of native molluscoid and insectoid species return to populate the landscape

of course, the human settlers loathe her, deeming her a terrorist for destroying human colonies, and sics space mercs on her to stop her. they even portray her as infested by alien swarms, but as the plot progresses, the player finds out more and more the nature of the planet. as it turns out, the entire planet is actually a giant fleshy sphere, a single gigantic organism that's populated by innumerous symbiotic species. the "soil" that covers the ground, which humans have been using to terraform the planet, are actually dead cell clusters and debris that's meant to be shed off into space, but are now instead suffocating the planetoid creature. by planting tentacles in places where they've been cleared out, the xenobiologist is essentially restoring amputated body parts to the planetoid creature she loves

eventually, as the planet is once again covered in tentacles and fleshy pits, the colonists abandon the surface and returns to orbit, vowing to use their battleships to bombard the planet to oblivion, convinced that if they don't destroy it, it will destroy them. so the final level and boss fight takes place on the orbital platforms, where the xenobiologist, armed with powerups granted to her by the planet, has to destroy the colonial fleet before it can destroy the planet

as the colonial fleet, along with the orbital platform, explodes apart, she's sent hurtling towards the surface. she's convinced that she was going to die, but was happy to have saved the planet. before atmospheric friction burns up her suit though, the planet reaches out with its tentacles, gently cradling her fall like that scene in nausicaa, before lowering her to the surface once again

despite her success in restoring life to the planet and destroying the colonial fleet, however, the planet mourns that it may be too late for its species. it's not the only planet that humans have devastated, and the asteroidal pods that they hatch from have been decimated by humans mining the asteroid belt for minerals. their species may end once the current generation dies out. however, the xenobiologist reassures it that she's been preparing to solve this issue - she's modified her own body with genetic samples from other planetoid creatures so that she will be able to help it repopulate as much as is necessary in order for the population to rebound once again

during the credits scene, the planet can be seen ejecting numerous asteroidal pods into space. these pods journey deep into space, filling the asteroid belts of not just this solar system, but others beyond as well, sowing the seeds of a new generation of life

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Ha I wonder how many strokes the most complex Chinese character has like maybe eightee-

#laugh rule

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so embarrassing when i forget im checking someone's blog and i start scrolling through and liking and reblogging shit as if it's just my dash. it feels like wandering into someone else's apartment and not noticing and making myself lunch

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me throwing the canterbury tales across the room: flying chaucer

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The Doctor and The Master implies a third, less prestigious renegade timelord named The Bachelor

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#I love this shit

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i am BEGGING y’all to watch season one of stargate

#Stargate is GOOD

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there's a cherry blossom tree in DC that keeps blooming every year even though it shouldn't and the park service keeps thinking it's dead and then it keeps blooming! well they're removing a lot of trees to rehabilitate the area and they've said it's finally time for stumpy to go and they're going to mulch it and use the mulch to enrich all the other trees so it can help everything else keep going. and they're also going to plant spliced little pieces of it all over so that stumpy can live forever and this is genuinely sending me into a spiral

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I love those tumblr threads where the first person makes a vague post like "I am extremely sleep-deprived, should not be at work in this condition, and I will fuck technology itself. Behold man about to become a machine." And then someone replies something along the lines of "me when I am a simple engineer in [country that does not exist anymore] at [extremely specifically precise date] about to have a nice day at work."

And you gotta do some googling and find a wikipedia page about some poor fucker in like the 1800s who would not have gone down in history if it weren't for the way he got sucked into a horrible industrial machine dick first.

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I bought a book with extremely modern and relatable translations of Sanskrit poetry from 2,000 years ago

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At the gate for my flight home from visiting friends and there's a woman here with a service Shiba Inu. No pics because he has a Do Not Disturb vest and taking pics of strangers is illegal but I need to stress how ON DUTY this animal is. Ears up. Eyes doing Lazer scans of everything. Examining everyone who passes within 10ft like a security guard. Ass planted on her feet. I have never seen a dog with such intense chivalric guardian energy before. He has tiny eyebrows and they are FURROWED with concentration.

#Real life is better than fiction #laugh rule