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judememories · 4 years
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judememories · 4 years
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scige‌
Eyes attentive to the glowing screen of her iPhone and nothing else - Saige let out a small, surprised yelp at the brush against her cheek, hand coming to swat against her cheek like it’d been a bug instead of the pack of cigarettes and phone clattering, tragically, onto the pavement. “Oh my god -” it’d been a dramatic second of reaction - and then she’d broken out into a grin and a nervous laugh, the aftereffect of her nerves jumping. “Aw, Jude - you’ve stuck, like, a mouse up your nose, that’s very unethical. Peta would be very disappointed,” she had reached up to bat at the tampon string - like she was going to grab it, but she hadn’t - just her lips pressed into a thin smile in an attempt to not laugh at him, “Surprisingly large boxes? Is she - is she like, carrying an entire box of them around? Just, beneath her arms - an entire supply to last every girl inside a month. Like - like one of those um, medicine dogs, like - in Alaska? Or something? Y’know? Saint Bernards?”
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Expression extremely serious, as he always pretended to be, Jude pointed a limp finger in Saige’s direction. “I would never do that to a mouse. Mice go in my mouth, and no other hole. I’m, uh... I’m very strict, about that. No horsing around, with my snacks.” Gesturing his hands out with a subtle lift of the eyebrows, Jude mimicked a nonverbal “what can I say?” before slotting a cigarette between his lips. “Box was pretty fuckin’ plump, I have to say. Just, uh... Just an entire briefcase’s worth. Dunno her story, though. Maybe she needs all of them. Different, uh...” Red rimmed eyes narrowing to a squint, he considered the territory he was venturing. “Specifications, I guess. Different... stuff, going on, down in the nether.” In reality, he wasn’t too sure what he was talking about, but he didn’t have the experience to specify. Jutting the pack Saige’s way, he offered a cigarette wordlessly. “Hair looks nice,” came after he’d spent a few seconds investigating her, apparently thinking nothing of the random compliment. They were rare, from Jude, but not in a deliberate way -- he only said nice things when he wholeheartedly meant them. “Very hair-like. Just, uh... Just dangling, there.” Slipping a hand into his jacket pocket, he rustled for a moment before producing his lighter, unlit cigarette bobbing with every mumbled syllable. “Kudos, on the dangling.”
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judememories · 4 years
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an underappreciated moment from monster factory as a whole
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judememories · 4 years
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judememories · 4 years
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*wakes up* oh fuck i need to protect women *runs out into heavy traffic*
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judememories · 4 years
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judememories · 5 years
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📱 merciville
mercy: respect
mercy: ok give me a second i have a picture of the guy who helped me get it out
mercy: it's with him now
mercy: [...]
mercy: https://66.media.tumblr.com/1e2d4ee1eaec5cc8373a4d66b6c26e80/tumblr_ou639nhrwn1qeppx4o1_1280.jpg
jude: my dad?
jude: my own fucking dad?
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judememories · 5 years
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📱 yurine
yuri: I mean yeah it's a little cruel but I'm really not qualified to solve crimes. Sounds like a lot of work. Dying would take a lot less effort.
yuri: Drunk would be I cant remember my own name.
yuri: What do you expect me to do? Ring this Knox guy up and be like "Hey man give Jude his toilet back and unblock him or else." Imagine that in a thick Russian accent for max intimidation.
yuri: Somehow I don't think this will work. Have you considered just buying a new one and locking your door?
jude: cheers i'll drink to that
jude: invalid. i rarely know my own name. i painted over it in white on my own birth certificate so no-one can ever know it for sure
jude: yeah? he can't keep getting away with it, yuri. he's a one man weapon of utter destruction
jude: this isn't a very promising start to our friendship if you won't even stick up for my toilet
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judememories · 5 years
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📱 merciville
mercy: She
mercy: how long have you two been together for?
mercy: ok i'll give you a hint but it's really risky
mercy: risking our lives risky
mercy: are you okay with that?
jude: it's unofficial. we don't like labels
jude: yeah fuck it we all die
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judememories · 5 years
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imssg / judass
blake: doesnt seem like benji is taking this very seriously.... i get the vibe its not what he wants?
jude: his reasoning was shit
jude: if we'd been in a court of law i would have got his case dismissed
jude: the power went to my head a little i'm considering switching majors
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judememories · 5 years
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📱 yurine
yuri: That's understandable honestly I'd rather die too tbh
yuri: Were you maybe drunk or something last night? Sometimes I do crazy shit after a few drinks.
yuri: You got any weird friends that might have borrowed it?
jude: that's a bit cruel, yuri.
jude: uh
jude: i mean it's hard to say, really. what qualifies as drunk, exactly?
jude: yeah actually you know what yuri i know exactly who might have done it. it's that bastard blake knox again. would you mind messaging him for me and giving him a piece of your mind? he's blocked me (probably as part of this mastermind scheme of his)
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judememories · 5 years
Conversation
📱 merciville
mercy: i can't say
jude: don't be a cunt
jude: where is she you sick bastard
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judememories · 5 years
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imssg / judass
blake: i didnt know you were there
blake: why are you pairing me and benji up like this i dont even think of him
jude: fuckin hell blake
jude: can a man not do his bit for his community to mend some bridges? can a man not partake in a good deed?
jude: i'll just go ahead and kick a child in the head shall i? be the bad samaritan you want me to be?
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judememories · 5 years
Conversation
📱 lord tuckleton II
tuck: just put a towel over the urine at least jude :/
jude: and ruin my towel? what did the towel ever do to me? it's been loyal
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judememories · 5 years
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imssg / judass
blake: and what do i get out of this? no bacon? no eggs? just a fucking weird message from someone i kind of want to beat to death?
jude: well if you wanted me to box up some bacon to go you could have asked? that's on you, blake.
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judememories · 5 years
Conversation
📱 yurine
yuri: How did you know I was wearing my halloween costume?
yuri: If I'm Sherlock you can be Watson. Where was the last place you saw your toilet and did it have any enemies?
yuri: Yoda is my back up costume.
yuri: I dunno are you a saucy little harlot? I've already branded myself one so no judging here.
jude: i don't mean to be harsh here but i'd straight up rather die than be your watson. i'd straight up rather die
jude: dunno i think it was in the bathroom that i saw it last but i can't be sure?
jude: uh
jude: [...]
jude: i don't like this conversation very much
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judememories · 5 years
Conversation
📱 lord tuckleton II
tuck: honestly no but i was hopeful
jude: there's no need to donkey kick me in the testicles? my poor little testicles?
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