joeybarnacles

[joeybarnacles]

On Instagram everyone was commenting slurs under a video made by a black, Jewish woman and when I left a comment supporting her it was taken down

i received a comment on tiktok that said "why did you go queer mode you used to be funny"

i responded with "i was never funny dumbass" and my comment was automatically removed for harassment.

[joeybarnacles]

I do wholeheartedly believe Wes Anderson is a sick sick freak. I like his movies but I definitely think this guy has like a hidden room in his spacious french apartment that he slips into quietly each night and it is just filled with tiny little doll replicas of all the actors he's ever used in any of his movies and he puppets them around and mimicks their voices and shit. and sometimes he'll text Owen Wilson pictures of his little doll with a comb or something from an untraceable number and pair it with like "see how I take care of you Owen?" and then the following day Owen Wilson will find him at the service table and go, "Geez Wes look at this," and Wes will pretend to be all concerned and horrified but there is this calculating almost eager look in his eyes that unsettles Owen Wilson. and the next time Wes is having a little soiree with all his actors, his beloved beloved actors, maybe Owen Wilson will accidentally get lost on his way to the beautiful bathroom and find that little room and see all those dolls and his throat will hitch with horror. And before he can call Bill Murray or Adrian Brody to look a dark silhouette will appear in the doorway and Wes looks sort of resigned when he says, "I see you finally found my secret, Owen," and Owen Wilson will try and pretend that he's fine with it but they both know better. and Wes will go (the look in his eyes back again) "We both know this can't get out, right?" and he'll grin very suddenly and Owen Wilson will laugh along very nervously and leave the room and eat some brioche and when the evening is over he will rush over to his Prius and frantically click his keys but over the cobbles on the beautiful beautiful street there is the sound of footsteps. and tears are running down Owen Wilson's cheeks but he can't say a word and Wes, emerging from the shadows, will gently touch him on the shoulder and say, "look, I'll drive you to the airport, huh?" and Owen Wilson will try to refuse but they both know it's futile. and, halfway through the drive, Wes Anderson will smile and say, "I'll miss working with you" and then perfectly jump and roll out of the car, wiping off his corduroy pants, while Owen Wilson's Prius swerves into a local patisserie, bursting into flames

[joeybarnacles]

i cant get over the king charles portrait. they made that thing to age in his place. that painting hangs in the house of a too-friendly family you find in the post apocalyptic wasteland who inexplicably has a ready supply of fresh meat. if mario jumped into that painting he wouldn't find a charming platformer he would be flayed and hanged like a medieval criminal by an unseeable force in a droning red void. that painting is a color blindness test for people who work in IT but believe in the divine right of kings. that painting is going to weep the sequel to blood. after he dies charles is gonna crawl outta that thing like sadako.

#what sins has he committed for it to look like this

[joeybarnacles]

Absolutely obsessed with the House renaissance happening on tumblr right now. Really glad everyone woke up 12 years after the show ended and went "Wait a minute. what the fuck was THAT"

[joeybarnacles]

oh to be nine years old and hear you're gonna go far, kid by the offspring for the first time again

[joeybarnacles]

i do not think you could do that actually, tiktok user

[joeybarnacles]

Out of pure curiosity and fun!

#poptropica

[joeybarnacles]

extraordinary things are happening on tumblr.com/dashboard

[joeybarnacles]

How about we let characters have flaws 🙄🙄 it doesn't mean Squidward's a bad person, but he clearly has a lot of pent up emotional problems and he's allowed to make mistakes. SpongeBob used that against Squidward and suddenly when Squidward has the courage to give SpongeBob a taste of his own medicine, it's "unnecessarily cruel" are you saying that people can't stand up for themselves? Do you think that someone being attacked should just stand there and take it instead of fighting back? Because that's what you're saying to Squidward right now. Just admit that you hate mentally ill queers and move on, okay sweetie?

This was disgusting coming from Squidward. I get he was pushed to his limit but it was unnecessarily cruel.

#/j #/j /j /j #i am kidding

[joeybarnacles]

I started calling her Joanne as a joke months ago but apparently she actually really fucking hates being called Joanne lol

[joeybarnacles]

literally this:

[joeybarnacles]

was handed a new style guide at work and now we gotta use "person-first" language meaning you can't say "lgbt person" you gotta say "a person who is lgbt" and it's very fun and whimsical for me to imagine a world in which this helps anyone

[joeybarnacles]

does anybody else remember that reality show where they gaslit a bunch of americans into thinking they were competing to marry prince harry but it was really just some guy

[joeybarnacles]

if i had a penis i would still wipe it after peeing

[joeybarnacles]

guy who does a cost benefit analysis that concludes killing the ceo is the most profitable opinion

[joeybarnacles]

shoutout to electron microscopes for making the faces of everything look unimaginably fucked up and stupid

[joeybarnacles]