ipsxm , xkiritsune , irwinctrl
' get in the car. '
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' GOOD -- !! there's no possible way you
could hurt me more than the rest of the
FUCKING world does. go on. hit me -- !! '
❝don’t test me. i will hurt you.❞
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' ... or WHAT? '
⊰ : open : ⊱
❝you need to back off -——N O W !!❞
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" ---- HELPING me ?! ... you're LEAVING me, when
i need you the most. that isn't helping me, matthew!
you told me that we'd get through everything together.
you PROMISED me. don't run away -- !! we can work
through it, matthew, please. you don't understand how
much i need you." declan's voice was strained, and
suddenly, all of the sadness dissipated. it turned into a
sort of blind anger, fists clenching at his sides as matthew
touched him. he thought of his brother ; how arsen would
have called declan's actions pathetic, that he needed to
be INDEPENDENT, so that's what he did. "no, no you don't.
you wouldn't leave me, not if you loved me. don't -- fuck,
don't give me EXCUSES. especially when they are lies.
just go, matthew. get out of my house. & don't bother
coming back in two months, not if you're going to leave again."
“look at it as a way of me helping you
declan we need to get this right, quick
because the way our relationship has
been going in the last months is not
the way i want us to remember.”, he
stepped forward to him, resting his
hand on declan’s cheek and letting
his thumb stroke it softly before taking
his hand away. “you know how much
i love you but i think just leaving for
i—i don’t know a couple of weeks?
two months would do us both good.
try to understand, please just try to
understand.” matthew bit his lip,
swallowing. “i love you.”
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how do you do that on you /d. page?
basic coding & i'd be willing to help you out if you come off anon
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"no." there was a split second that declan figured
that the taller male was only kidding ; -- a prank
of sorts, but it didn't take long for him to realize
that matthew wasn't cruel, he wasn't going to play
with declan's emotions for a joke. he was serious.
at that point, declan wished it was only a joke.
seconds later, declan's heart was pounding in his
chest & his breathing became shallower, quick
breaths tearing from his throat. "NO -- !!" the same
word, repeated with the desperation he felt. "matthew,
pl ------ please. don't leave me, i -- you're all i have left,
you're the only one i have, please don't do this. it's not
you! it's me! don't go, babe, please, i NEED you!!"
matthew bit his lip, not saying anything
for a longer while seemed better than
saying something that he would regret
later however the male felt himself
being desperate with his decision because
he had already made up his mind about
the situation— it was hard speaking it
out though. “declan, if I am the reason
that you keep on blaming yourself. if
all MY mistakes lead back to you maybe..”
he swallowed, this would kill him but
it would also help him and right now all
matthew wanted to do was help him.
”maybe i should leave then.”
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declan finally turned his gaze upwards,
dark hues focusing on that of matthew's
blue. at the same time, his fingers became
occupied in toying with the hem of his
too - large shirt. he was well aware that
his habit of blaming everything on himself
had to be something of an annoyance to
the other, but he couldn't just STOP. he
had been living his entire life convinced
that everything wrong that occurred was
his fault, and his fault alone. "then ----
DON'T. don't reassure me. don't tell me
anything, matthew, it -- it doesn't help,
either way. i'm sorry if i -- if i annoy you."
he sighed, resisting the urge to groan out loud
he needed declan to stop blaming himself and
he needed him to finally get over arsen’s death
because matthew had a hard time showing any
sort of sympathy for the whole thing. “nothing of
that is your fault, declan— me relapsing is my fault
only m i n e. listen— we can’t keep go on like this
i can’t keep reassuring you that you are not the
one to blame. i— i just can’t."
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"i'm allowed to blame myself when it's my fault,
matthew." spoken as only a soft mumble, declan
didn't want to start an entirely new argument with
his fiance. "don't ------ don't say that about him. it's
not HARD to understand, he was the last family i
had left. my mom and dad are gone, my brother's
gone and i wish i was gone. i know this is my fault,
matthew, the -- the relapsing and the fights and ---
i AM sorry. i love you, okay? i don't want to fight."
”dec. you need to stop blaming yourself for every
fucking thing that happens between us. or me.”
matthew grit his teeth, running a hand through his
hair. “you know how much i hated that bastard so
i won’t feel any sort of sympathy for the loss of his
disgusting almost laughable life— but you were his
brother and i am trying to understand.”
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"i ---- ... yeah. we need to talk." -- declan averted
his gaze, swallowing thickly as he chewed anxiously
upon his lesser lip. "i -- i'm sorry. arsen's ... he's gone
& i'm taking it out on you & i ----- i'm sorry ... !"
“declan—we need to talk. everything has been going
weird lately. i mean you leave, we fight more than
ever and i relapse—i just”, he paused blue orbs meeting
his chocolate ones. “.. it’s not right.”
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cat asking for a pet
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{ p l e a s e }
love the
parts of me
that i
can’t.
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19
i got so pissed off in this audio recording you can really hear the 12 yr old boy in me come out
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Say something in a different language.
uhhhh
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how the actual fucking shit do you get so much followers?
i buy friends
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