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jigsisanalien · 26 days
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Its just so weird looking back at memories and not remember much at all, i have diaries with entries, some almost daily, ive written lately some stuff, some that i though would fill pages but from what i remember, it barely fits a page, im sure back then i had much more, i have written a whole book almost, but theres just so much i forgot that only fits a page, like half of my life was deleted and i only remember the actual big enough stuff, i remember feelings, but nothing more, not the underlying stuff, some details are also gone. I dont know, maybe i moved on, maybe they dont appeal to me anymore, i dont need to have that baggage anymore. For sure if i had an honest convo with someone talking about my whole life, i sure enough would had a lot to talk about for hours, a lot of feelings coming through. Maybe one day i start to write a book about my life and not just random stories i enjoy, since the ones im writting do cross some of those parts and its hard to explain when that story doesnt belong there, i dont want to write that part, but at the same time i do because it does feels like its lost in there.
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jigsisanalien · 8 months
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jigsisanalien · 9 months
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I just had a "shower thought" about that person, the only reason shes high up there (god knows where because i dont), is because shes manipulative.
I kept wondering how a weird girl in school was able to gain all of this "skills" in order to success, maybe she grabbed those bad thoughts and turned them into so toxic and horrible, thats the only explanation i have.
And you can say whatever you want, ive moved on, im living my own life, this person hasnt been on my mind in years and out of my life for more than that, the only reason she came up was because other people would brought her up, i had to cut those people out of my life for my own good (and other issues that dont add anything to this). I just cant cut my sister out of my life, so whenever she sees her she comes to me "i saw your friend today" which annoys me like shit because shes not my friend and neither was for a long time, she was like "i saw her with her son shopping at X" great, now a bit of that trauma returned of seeing her the same place i need to go to buy groceries, just great.
This just came to my head because i was remembering all of the guys i liked and she was in the middle of it, so its my fault on that, like i said, just a showerthough.
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jigsisanalien · 11 months
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I honestly dispise how my sister is salty, idk, its always the same shit she throws at me since i was young. A person who never actually worked, who went to live with her bf and now hes the one paying most bills, a person who just helps said bf doing the smallest task with their home business, yet im the parasyte one. She keeps throwing at me that im still living with my mom and shes the one paying all the bills and shit, like, i have a job, i pay for my own shit, i pay for groceries, i pay for cable, internet and phones, i pay my car, i dont depend on anyone, my mom just pays the normal house bills.
I dont take my mom out because i know she will pay for my shit like she does, i dont say "im going to buy x" knowing that my mom will offer the money straight away, shes dependent on her bf and its still dependent on whatever money my mom gives her.
This time, this all came from my nana wanting to give me 50€, she wanted to give me that amount for me to buy my baby food, not that i needed but, she wanted to give and i cant digress from her. My sister heard it and she was like "why did she give it to you? Why didnt she gave it to mom since shes the one paying bills", and thats why i dispise going to her home because it only takes them 10min or not even that, to make me want to leave. I ignored and just payed attention to my baby.
She even judges me because i order takeout or i buy something for my son, like, she judge me because i bought him a swing, god forbids i have money to pay for my own shit.
The worst part is that i cant even say half of it to my bf because he takes it personally and will fuse, and i just dont want to create unecessairy drama, they did shit that made him angry and not wanting to spend time with them, so i dont want to add more, i just tell him "just let them be", theres nothing we can do about it, people will judge and feel like they can do it so.
After getting pregnant and having my baby, i see a lot more, and tbh i cant wait to have our own house so we dont have to deal with this shit anymore.
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jigsisanalien · 1 year
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Oh i now realize why i get mad anytime im trying to write anything on my phone and its so damn hard and annoying. Back then, my ex bff said it so, i think the convo went like this me "what about your pc", her "i dont need the pc, i have my phone", because now she had an iphone...and then i started to remember about all of this things, about the expensive red parka she wanted her mom to buy for her, it was just a plain red parka, it was cute but like, too hard to match with other clothes, not her style at all and it wouldnt make her look more emo/gothic or whatever, it was just a bright red parka, but she wanted and wanted and almost cried in the middle of the store to have it. Her mom ended up giving her and she wore like a few times before just leaving it in the closet, next year she didnt wanted to wear it because it was last season...anyway. Her parents werent rich, she lived in a house with a backyard a garden and a garage, but her parents were very simple people, they were also savvy about it, they would buy stuff to last and stuff they actually needed, her on the other hand was always nagging her parents to give her what she unnecessary wanted, her parents would say no a lot or to get the cheaper version which is also good, she had a phone that her parents could afford, yet all she did was complain how her parents never would give her anything, well they did give her what she wanted, one time they spend 200bucks on her bday party, she was just spoiled.
Her bf knew it was a "dream" for her to have an iphone, with dream i mean, she wanted so she could look rich, iphones werent a thing at that time, he didnt had one either because there was no use, the iphone back then was as good as any on the market, just way more expensive, but she wanted and he gave it to her, she cried ugly tears over a phone but each one to their own. But then all she talked about was how she had an iphone, with all this apps, she could take pictures, she could have instagram blah blah blah, and then was like "why dont you use instagram? Its so cool", something along those lines and i was like "because my phone isnt a smartphone" it was when smartphones were starting to come out and my old one was still a plain looking one. And from that, the whole thing started, she had the pc her parents gave to her which wasnt cheap yet she complained, and once she had the phone she didnt need it anymore, and now was saying that she doesnt need a pc because she had an iphone...sure jan. so everytime im writing any shit on my phone because im not able to do it atm on my pc, i get mad, its impossible to write anything on there, ill be writting a comment and my pinky starts to hurt, the damn keyboard is on the way and going up and down, you barely see what youre writting, you need to scroll and it just takes ages, you want to format and you just cant, copy paste something kick, nope....its just not, maybe for a basic person like her who thinks an iphone is a status.
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jigsisanalien · 1 year
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Can i get pics of Tom without Heidi on it?
No, this is not a hate post, the opposite, but i was trying to remake my sim Tom (and Bill). A few years ago i was able to get good pics, front and profile, now, whenever i search just Tom, all it appears is pics of him with Heidi, its like he cant be his own self, i just want pics of his face and profile to do my sim and i have to scroll for shits to actually find something useful. I dont have any saved, i mean, i think i have, but they are burried on my phone somewhere since it was so long ago, and the ones i have on my pc were when i used to do photo collection with a friend from our teen years, when they looked like babies. Im just annoyed with myself because i had my sims save on a cloud but for some reason i deleted and now i have to do my simself and them all over again, and sliders arent cooperating at all.
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jigsisanalien · 1 year
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About photo albums. I was born in the early 90s, where you had a roll on your camera and then you had to go to the store to get the pictures, me and my sister both had our photo albums since we were born till digital images were a thing. One thing that i love about looking at my album, is how the pictures are from moments, my dad literally grabbed his camera and took the pics, they look like they have a story in each of them. Im about to print some pics because i want my son to have one as well, i dont care if the pic is not good or its not pretty, it shows a moment, when he took a bath, when he smiled the first time, how he used to sleep...i want him to look at those pics and enjoy them just as much i enjoy mine. Dont get me wrong, i do like some posed pics or/and photoshoots, those are good for frames, or to post, or to have as phone screen, but i just want my baby to live the moment through them.
My sister did the same for my nephew, but all of his album is full of posed pictures, even family pics are them posed, he enjoys seeing them but just scrolls through past them because they all look the same, just changing clothes and scenario, it feels empty, theres no story. I remember when he was younger there was so many moments that she could have taken pics but decided not to, i couldnt because i couldnt keep my phone when i was with him(my sisters rules, god knows why) but also i was in the moment too, when he was eating, when he was playing, when he was laughing his ass off, there are none, just "lets go to the beach and do a photoshoot", it feels so empty and i dont want that for mine.
This is just a rant.
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jigsisanalien · 2 years
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jigsisanalien · 2 years
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big heart but very low tolerance for bullshit
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jigsisanalien · 3 years
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jigsisanalien · 3 years
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jigsisanalien · 3 years
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jigsisanalien · 3 years
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jigsisanalien · 3 years
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GIF by all-the-daisies-in-her-hair
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jigsisanalien · 3 years
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jigsisanalien · 3 years
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jigsisanalien · 3 years
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