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jaken-guentz · 4 years
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first intermission interview
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jaken-guentz · 5 years
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Thor: Ragnarok (2017) // Men in Black: International (2019)
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jaken-guentz · 5 years
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when girls like horses we call them ‘horse girls’ and mock them for their bond with giant nightmare leg-finger creatures
but if boys like horses we call them ‘future cowboys’ and ‘rugged outdoors men’
I’m just saying, I’ve met a lot more horse girls than horse boys so when the dystopic breakdown of society hits us, it’s not going to be roving bands of young men on horseback (they don’t know how to ride, they haven’t B O N D ED)
it will be Kelly from elementary school and her band of fifty midwest girls in pink cowgirl boots who have come for your resources
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jaken-guentz · 5 years
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aesthetic / / Nick Bjugstad + rotisserie chicken
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jaken-guentz · 5 years
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Some new leaked stills from the Falcon & Winter Soldier Show
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jaken-guentz · 5 years
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I got the fiddles in the back 🎻💪🏾
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jaken-guentz · 5 years
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jake guentzel has more goals on the season than c*nn*r mcd*v*d so if you’re looking for who sid’s gonna pass the torch to after he r*tires the answer is his son jacob “and bakeob” guentzel
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jaken-guentz · 5 years
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ding dong the witch is dead
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jaken-guentz · 5 years
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what to do about mad king jim?
If Pens fans want to start piling the pressure on GMJR that the media won’t (or really, can’t because they want to keep their spot in the press room) then take it from someone who lives near Philly and it’s desperate ownership/coaching situation: you need to get that shit trending where it can be seen. Use his full name when you post, and focus on using platforms most likely to get picked up by PR departments and media. When journalists and beat writers do Q&As, bring him up. Leave comments on the relevant articles and videos etc making it clear you want him out.
Do not get drawn into obfuscation or “spreading the blame”. Bring up the fact that the only period in which he’s been in charge of crafting the team’s roster has had the result of losing the threepeat and a first round sweep. That the only reason he was around to see the back-to-backs was the work of those around him and before him. Bring up him doing the exact same thing in Carolina, and being forced to leave because of it.   
Make it clear you firmly believe that the core want more Cups, that you find it absurd that he thinks they are satisfied with how many they have, and that you want him out.
Without intense pressure and cohesive consistent argument, all the bellyaching in the world won’t reach high enough to even affect him. But if this message follows him wherever he turns, he’s just old enough and just new enough to replace. 
Here’s a handy timeline of events from just this season to use that illustrate his every misstep (please add if you like!): 
- sticking to his wrong hot take on the team by saying their slow start to the season was due to the players being complacent by having won Cups already
- therefore spite-trading Hags only to try to get him back months later, then discovering he can’t because of fine print 
- proceeding on an ever-increasing level of scrambling of last-minute hokey-pokeying players in and out of the team so fast that Pens social media content was out of date sometimes within weeks of publication 
- all of his trades moving the lineup farther and farther away from the speed and skill that won the back-to-back Cups, and instead focusing on grunt and size 
- his fascination and indulgence with hard-luck cases contrasting wildly with his extreme impatience and intolerance with skilled players who experienced temporary slight dips in performance
- trying to claim credit for the back-to-back lineups when in fact he largely had a backseat to all of it
- returning to blaming the Cup-winning core - who he would not be allowed to move even if he were so stupid as to try - of not being hungry enough for more Cups to form a cohesive identity
- failing to see that trades being used like warning shots do not a cohesive identity make
- failing to see that rotating a maddening ever-changing roster around his Cup-winning core does not a cohesive identity make
- failing to see the example in Dallas’ core of superstars who roundly and publicly rejected head office’s negative reinforcement bullshit, and instead improved their game on their own - as everyone knew they would, and which owes nothing to bullying and threats from on high and everything to a team who stuck together even through bad luck and slumps
- failing to see that his petulant and antagonistic relationship with the media and fanbase is not the Pittsburgh Penguins identity
Ultimately, failing to see from his far-removed and relative newbie vantage point that the problem was never the Cup-winning core going soft or losing their hunger for more Cups. It was that core simply getting older and needing the coaching and game strategy to shift to accommodate them losing their speed. Dropping Hags was tragically hilarious self-sabotage considering what was actually needed.
The post back-to-back Pens team needed some non-invasive therapy to adjust back into Cup-winning status again. Jim Rutherford has performed repeated surgery with a sledge hammer.
Ironically, Jim Rutherford is the one who got too complacent with managing a Cup-winning team and assumed he had plenty of room to play around and make irreverent changes and expected the superstar core to make them all functional. This is entirely his fault and at his age, clearly he is sufficiently happy to retire with his current laurels and blame everyone else for failing to get him more.
Get him out to get more Cups. 
(if you don’t agree with this post then just move along, I don’t care about shielding a baby boomer who eats nachos and yells from his tower and accuses the likes of Crosby, Malkin and Letang of ‘not wanting any more Stanley Cups’)
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jaken-guentz · 5 years
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#nocaps
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jaken-guentz · 5 years
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jaken-guentz · 5 years
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pittsburgh penguins meme: 7 goals [1/7] → olli maatta’s first nhl goal
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jaken-guentz · 5 years
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When your line change goes really wrong
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jaken-guentz · 5 years
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did Nick say nothing about his baby but Jared told the media? omfg (x)
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jaken-guentz · 5 years
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“Game 4 could be his last”
“They’ll wear black and gold for the rest of their lives”
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jaken-guentz · 5 years
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I’m about to fist fight the entire Penguins org, why the FUCK were they allowed to play!!! What the fuck!! What the FUCK!!
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jaken-guentz · 5 years
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