jakehello

[jakehello]

#ps they went to highschool together bye #zooey #*

[jakehello]

#my fav picture of this idiot #love u bae #*

[jakehello]

#this is sO CUTE #annie

[jakehello]

do you ever want to have babies

It’s only my dream. I don’t think I’m ready at the moment, but whatever life tosses at me, I’ll take. But yes, I do want a little Jake Gyllenhaal running around.

#oUCH

[jakehello]

how does it feel to have anne carry your child?

Is this a trick question?

[jakehello]

you stole taylor swifts virginity?

Well this was random. What is up with all the random anons, huh?

#dUDE #i have like aldkfjlaskdjfs so many anons/?????????????? #ok

[jakehello]

You love me.

…..you’re a strange man. But that’s okay.

#i love it too

[jakehello]

This is fucking happening. Can we please?

We’re taking a trip to South Africa and getting ourselves an Okapi or whatever the fuck.

[jakehello]

Well whatever happened in that jungle, I'm happy it did.

……sounds like some animals had an orgy and that animal is the product of it.

#hes such a caveman

[jakehello]

Don't. I'm just weird.

I only know two of those. I feel so uneducated.

[jakehello]

I'll look into that.

I feel like you should open up a zoo for under appreciated animals. That way you can educate the world about them and also help them feel more loved.

[jakehello]

Half fucking zebra, half giraffe, half horse, I don't even know. They're the shit though.

What’s an Okapi? I don’t know how to Google. 

#that oaky hahahhlkfjsldkjf

[jakehello]

Aren't they badass though?!

Okapi? Googling it. They look trippy as fuck, dude. Half giraffe, half zebra? I don’t know. 

[jakehello]

[text] You can't do that to me now. And... would you mind waiting a few minutes? Or use the backdoor it's open. I'm kinda in the bathtub having a nice time.

{text} I could. If I was careful? No, I'll still to verbally hitting you. you're texting in the tub? not sure how i feel about this.

[jakehello]

From now on, I'm going to love the under appreciated animals. Anteaters, Elk, Okapi, Aardwolf...I mean, fuck, they're all so beautiful and cool looking. I want a pet Okapi. Someone get me a Okapi. Google it if you don't know what it is. Fucking majestic as hell.

#hfrpstarter #sTILL WAITING FOR A HUGH #thank

[jakehello]

[text] I will use the baby to win arguments, you can't even hit me. Hah. I will at life. And you don't have to come.

{text} I wouldn't hit you anyway. I would just....playfully tap you to prove my point. Or tackle you. I mean, either way. Ha. I'm outside your house so I win.

[jakehello]

[text] Yep, it's confirmed you're asleep and I felt like shit for nothing. Goodnight. Love you and I... want you here.

{text} I'm coming over now.