iwritemynamebackwards

[iwritemynamebackwards]

[iwritemynamebackwards]

(source)

[image description: a photo of a landline phone designed to look like a small, simple green frog. end id]

[iwritemynamebackwards]

[iwritemynamebackwards]

00:37

I'm feeling cold and warm at the same time. I have this thing of turning the fan on despite the cold air entering our living room from the balcony then I just cover myself in blankets instead of embracing the extra coolness of the room. Am I okay? Am I really? A lot of people have been asking me this lately, especially when my papa died 2 weeks ago. I was completely devastated for a night. Cried a bit after a few days. Still thinking about him, his pain, what he felt on his very last moment.

I spent my days distracting myself from the sadness that shelters me. I got busy from work. Even my managers are telling me to take a week off because I have to deal with this great loss. But I can't. I know it would've gotten worse. I've been planning to see a therapist but I keep on forgetting (or just not doing it) to make an appointment with my GP. Maybe I am just scared to be labeled as something or I am just indenial?? I don't know.

I actually have a handwritten journal but I feel lazy to write so I just created another anonymous tumblr account. Perhaps these thoughts will be better in here than in my other social media accounts. I also want to practice my writing skills because who knows, I might join the writing industry or something. I could say that I got inspired by this 90s anime that we used to watch when we were kids, it's called "Daddy Long-Legs", it is based on a novel written by Jean Webster. I wouldn't elaborate on what the novel is all about because I haven't read it and I am still in the process of finishing the anime series.

I am having this stupid headache as I type these things. I texted Sphynx (not his real name) that I can't do goten tomorrow. I am just very very anxious for some reasons and I don't want to bother other people. He hasn't replied yet and I feel that I might be asking too much. I hate this brain. But I am pretty sure Sphynx will understand my problems.