itcannotbrain

[itcannotbrain]

The best, the absolute best part of a surveillance state is that I have so many opportunities to catch my new apprentice try and explain to so far everyone he’s met on Dromund Kaas that his name isn’t Pixie.

I did give him one of those damned cats Tholgeth left behind and my assumption is after it mauls and potentially at least partially consumes enough people they’ll figure out it’s maybe not the best idea to dismissively call him Pixie.

It’s one of the bigger ones. The cat, not the Nautolan. He’s pretty normal sized as far as I can tell.

Haven’t told him he’s allowed to do that, but he seems bright enough.

I’m sure he’ll figure it out after a particularly bad day.

I am looking forward to the first conversation with someone in which I get to ask, “Well, did your formerly alive person call him Pixie instead of Pikxei? After he corrected them?”

#swtor #nautolan #LOOK AT HIM! #Lord Hhhh didn't deserve to keep such a gaudy wonderful thing with a name like that #He's really slow to anger too which I like #hair trigger temper is only fun for awhile #it's mostly just immensely annoying and stressful #I should figure out who Lord Hhhh is considering I interrupted the Overseer who was trying to tell me #just so I can go and shake them for letting that nautolan wander around where someone else could just TAKE it

[itcannotbrain]

(( First of all, look at this amazing, gaudy Nautolan I made. I love him. :D ))

Many Acolytes would have loved for a Sith Lord or, even better, a Darth to notice them. That was one of the better ways to add to the chances that one might survive the Sith Academy. 

Pikxei,  however, was typically happy to not have them notice him or, at least, not notice him in a way that would make them do anything but sneer some comment about aliens or colours. Neither particularly bothered him; he could hardly change the fact that he wasn't human or Sith and many things that were either venomous, poisonous, dangerous, or a combination of any of those things were brightly coloured.

Unfortunately, there always was the risk that it would attract attention and the luck that had kept it from attracting attention beyond the superficial seemed to have just run out.

"Look at you!" Standing much more quickly than one might have expected from someone looking Bi'ev's age and standing rather a lot shorter than one might have expected for one of the Sith Purebloods, Bi'ev managed to do both, leaving his tuk'ata to raise its head lazily then lower it again, seemingly dozing off once more as its Master moved away. The Overseer that the much shorter Pureblood had been speaking with appeared to be momentarily shocked that their conversation had been so jarringly cut off by Bi'ev standing from his previous position of using the Qorit as a sort of reclining, living chair on the Academy floor.

"What are y--no, no, wrong question, wrong question, you're clearly Nautolan. A very colourful one at that..." Bi'ev trailed off, staring in a way that Pikxei couldn't easily determine, doubly so since it didn’t appear that Bi’ev was looking at him so much as sort of through him; if the small man with the large, hideous Sith beast was missing a few screws it was likely he was still well enough in terms of skill to be just fine with a few screws missing.

If it was an act, it was a good one, enough to make him vaguely nervous.

Pikxei had a passing thought that perhaps this Darth  might be on some kind of spice but he wasn't acting anything but a bit--scatterbrained, and that might have been nothing more than personality.

Pikxei stood, patiently waiting for Bi'ev to catch up with--Bi'ev, evidently.

"Name!" The metallic claws on the Pureblood's gloves made a sound that put Pikxei's teeth on edge as fingers snapped when Bi'ev...sort of remembered what he'd been trying to ask. Without a word, the snapping gesture fluidly moved into a sharp clawed shoving away of the Academy Overseer who had tried to re-insert himself into the conversation, though whether that attempt had been made for Bi'ev's benefit or Pikxei's, Pikxei wasn't certain.

"Yours, I mean. You were standing there long enough to have overheard mine before whichever Overseer's," the Overseer who was, of course, still standing well within earshot, "concerns I was pretending to take seriously."

The Nautolan blinked slowly, "Pikxei, my Lord."

"Pixie? Not what I would have expected, but--"

"No, my Lord," internally, he cringed at having just interrupted a Darth to repeat his name a little more slowly, "Pik-zae."

"It still sounds like Pixie, only with a z somewhere in it. You look like one--I--no, not really, you're a great deal larger, but you do look like the sort of person who would be called Pixie with all the angles and colours."

Whatever that was supposed to mean. Bi'ev's vague gestures to Pikxei in general didn't exactly give him any clues as to what in the hell he meant by that.

So, he just stood there.

And Bi'ev just stood there. Long enough, in fact, that Pikxei wondered if he'd somehow fallen asleep standing upright.

"Hey," Bi'ev lazily beckoned for the Overseer to step closer and join them, "anyone got their eye on this one?"

"Yes, my Lord, Lord H--"

Bi'ev cut him off, "I didn't really care, I was just asking as a formality. Go ahead and tell Lord Hhhh--whatever it is you were going to say that it's mine now and if that's a problem Lord Hhhh can feel free to scream at the walls of their house about it because my calendar is packed and I don't read mail from people who want to argue about which Acolyte belongs to who."

"Alternately," Bi’ev continued as he fished what looked to be a cookie out of a small bad and shoved it into his mouth, “Lord Hhhh can try and catch me at work but I'm just going to make them go and talk to Kosha about it because already dislike Kosha and now dislike Lord Hhhh on principle."

"Darth Aculeatus, you know full well that's not how it works..." The Overseer, rather than sounding angry or even annoyed, simply sounded very, very tired.

"Right, maybe, but if I go and start killing people like Lord Hhhh then I have to take on responsibility for everything of theirs and I don't want everything of theirs despite not knowing what all it is they've got, I just want the Pixie apprentice. Look at him! Why would you ever claim something like that then just let it wander around where any other Sith could just take it?"

"The alien is an Acolyte, my Lord."

"Overseer, do you ever get tired of being wrong every time you say words?" Bi'ev canted his head to one side, cheerful as he'd sounded the entire time.

Qorit, however, slowly and deliberately opened one eye to keep it on the Overseer. The old Tuk'ata never really cared to get up and move if he didn't have to but, if he had to, it wasn't bound to end terribly well for whatever caused him to be required to get up and move. This time, however, it was only Bi'ev that had given the indication and the beast walked past the Overseer, interrupting his attempts to circle back and not be incorrect by knocking him over.

"That's Qorit," Bi'ev carefully grabbed Pikxei's forearm and started just--walking toward one of the shuttle landing areas, "Probably should be guarding a tomb somewhere but there's not really anyone buried in it that I can say I particularly care for and there's nothing worth looting in there so why not let looters waste their time?"

The beast made some sort of sound that Pikxei couldn't determine; it sounded like it was a few words that were both an acknowledgement, and possibly a dry joke. He'd only ever seen the feral ones on Korriban, not one that had been kept and tended to or that didn't immediately lunge at the nearest living thing.

What he noticed, however, was that they'd passed the area where private ships would typically leave a shuttle and were at the one place the--public one between Korriban and Dromund Kaas ran. He must have made some kind of face about it because it elicited a response.

"Do you know how much fuel it takes to run even the smallest thing I've got that holds me, him," he patted Qorit's spiny head, "and at least one other relatively normal sized humanoid type creature? And how many credits that runs?"

Pikxei shook his head, "I--no, my Lord, I don't."

"More than I'm willing to pay for what amounts to commuting; plus, nobody will talk to you on the public nightmare ship if you've got either a lightsaber, a tuk'ata, or both. You can do anything you want, and they'll just pretend they don't see and won't try to strike up conversation at all--not that I do particularly much but sit there and read, but you know." Bi'ev shrugged.

"It's cheaper, and I don't have to drive! Or hire someone to do it for me.

There was probably a response to that that was correct. Somehow. Pikxei, however, had no idea what that might be and thought it best to sort of nod and follow the small old Sith and his comically large by comparison horror dog onto the shuttle to Dromund Kaas.

#swtor #Bi'ev used to be a Very Serious Sithy Sith #then something like 7 years of RP happened #and he just went the route of you're all insane and I can't deal with any of you people sober #and used the entire fact that he specifically works in the genetic engineering of plants #to crank up the 'how stoned will this make you?' factor of more than one thing up to #it'll make people wonder if a really old previously hair trigger tempered sith somehow #switched to jedi and didn't tell anyone #He's been consistently high as a kite for almost five years now #sith

[itcannotbrain]

My aesthetics are making you hate to be seen with me in public.

#swtor #sith #darth aculeatus #I'm old I can do what I want #and I can probably take a hit better than you

[itcannotbrain]

#swtor #star forge

[itcannotbrain]

My thoughts every time someone from one of the other Spheres starts going on about making a “new superweapon”:

#swtor #they never work #ever #not a single solitary one has ever worked in the history of the Galaxy #yours is not going to be any different and it just wastes credits and time

[itcannotbrain]

Three days. I was gone for /three days/.

One would think a group of adults could handle themselves for three whole days, considering I don’t often have to intervene with anything or even necessarily go down to a lab unless I get bored with my own work.

And they could, for the most part.

The problem is that I also decided they could handle my collection of projects/office decorations and someone made the brilliant decision to send a protocol droid rather than deal with proper gloves and handling protocol.

One of my plants nearly died after ingesting parts of that droid, and three others sustained damage to their foliage, stems, flowers, and root structures as the stupid thing flailed about and got fluids that should not be used to water plants everywhere.

Of course, none of them thought to send me a quick message to let me know; if they had, I likely could have told them how to fix the problems caused. Instead, I came back to one nearly dead and several damaged projects.

I can’t even blame Kosha for it, which is somehow oddly frustrating. I know, however, who is at fault after going through the damaged droid’s memory banks.

Next time I’ll just drag Merthul in to do it; he hates tending to the plants, but at least he’s not stupid enough to think a protocol droid can handle it.

#swtor

[itcannotbrain]

Note: Find out where that Rattataki went.

Or if he’s dead.

Either way, I doubt the answer is dead. 

Those things are notoriously difficult to kill.

I took an apprentice from a Sith Lord.

He wasn’t required to like it and the apprentice wasn’t required to approve.

A lazy Lord that can’t be arsed to more closely follow their chosen one’s progress doesn’t deserve to keep them, and I did offer him the option of taking one or both of the acolytes remaining in the group.

It got a bit ugly after that.

I’ve not had a Rattataki before.

This will be interesting.

#swtor #apprentices

[itcannotbrain]

There is always the feeling that he’s /done/ something.

It’s only a matter of time until I find out what Kosha did a couple of weeks ago when he was trying to reassure me that nothing was amiss down in his lab.

That right there is almost confirmation that something was amiss down in his lab; whatever it was, he did a good job of scrambling to hide it, because I haven’t yet found anything.

#swtor #ebon hawk

[itcannotbrain]

I never enjoy introducing people to Kosha.

I'm sure the creep has a proper Sith name, but I can't be bothered to remember the name of a Darth who cowers if someone scowls at him.

That disgusting creature is lucky he happens to be damn near a savant with Alchemy or I'd have killed him myself years ago--or would have at least thrown him into the incinerator with my mother after she died.

I almost feel for the woman who agreed to work with him, but then, she agreed to it after meeting him so it's entirely her fault at this point.

#swtor #ebon hawk #kosha

[itcannotbrain]

I took an apprentice from a Sith Lord.

He wasn’t required to like it and the apprentice wasn’t required to approve.

A lazy Lord that can’t be arsed to more closely follow their chosen one’s progress doesn’t deserve to keep them, and I did offer him the option of taking one or both of the acolytes remaining in the group.

It got a bit ugly after that.

I’ve not had a Rattataki before.

This will be interesting.

#I saw it and now it's mine is a great philosophy #swtor #sith #ebon hawk

[itcannotbrain]

From: Kosha'ayehe Subject: Re-animation project reports.

Replicating the process has proved troublesome with only a 27% rate of success although the subjects perish after a few hours of new life. The rate of deterioration, however, has decreased from 87% to 32%. We are pushing to lower this to 20%, if not ideally lower, to increase the chances of bringing the corpse back for a longer period of time.

The body of Lord Koyi'tar was preserved via chemicals and alchemy for two years, and this may have contributed to the success in reviving her body.

[Detailed report attached]

Darth Velenis

[Reply ((Edited to fix one of my typos in the screenshot!))]

To: Kosha'ayehe Subject: RE: Re-animation Project Reports.

Excellent work.

For the project contracted to Military Offense, it is not required for the subjects to 'live' for an extended period of time. It would likely be more desirable that the targets deteriorate rapidly and perish within a few hours, though the subjects lasting more than a few hours in some circumstances may also be ideal as we'd not want the targets believing that all they have to do is 'wait it out' so to speak.

If possible, the Sphere of Military Offense would like to put it to test use in a combat situation once the success rate of the artificial revival is better than fifty percent.

- Darth Aculeatus

#swtor #rp #ebon hawk #sith #psychological warfare GO #swtorrp

[itcannotbrain]

Oh. Well, then, that's unpleasant.

(( This contains mild spoilers for a daily quest for the Shadow of Revan TOR expansion; I've got early access, so yay. Best to move along if you don't want even mild spoilers.))

There is something to finding that--despite Tholgeth being right--your entire species isn't quite extinct. Tholgeth used to go on and on about the Massassi and how he fancied himself one of them, but I don't think even Tholgeth would want to be associated with these--ah--people.

However, that's very easily mitigated by the fact that what's left is:

- Remanants of the lower caste.

- Completely and so far regressed, for whatever the reasons, that they might as well be dumb animals at this point--not as though the Massassi were ever much more than that to begin with, but at least they were capable of speech and semi-coherent speech.

I'd thought, for a moment, that maybe I'd found a somewhat intelligent specimen wandering about inside one of the caves; he didn't try to immediately smash me into meat chunks, so, step up and all of that. In fact,he was keen enough to guard me and keep the local wildlife at a distance, which did speak of throwbacks to him knowing his proper place in Sith society, but then?

Then, I actually managed to get past the warding and locks on the box that, in theory, contained a few interesting relics.

...and he shoved me out of the way and ate them.

Ate the relics.

He ate the relics, the whole box full, just--chewed them up and ate them in about two seconds flat.

Who eats stone relics? Massassi, apparently.

These wouldn't even make decent display animals. They're big, stupid, hulking beasts that resort to "grunt, point, smash" for communication.

I took several genetic samples from specimens that got a bit too close and tried to bash my skull in, perhaps something can be done to re-create some proper Sith and not these--ah--right, we'll just forget these exist, or at least not try to claim them as evidence of any sort of superiority.

I've met rancors that were easier to train and deal with.

#swtor #shadow of revan #massassi #sith #embarrassing relatives

[itcannotbrain]

[ENCRYPTED REPLY]

Cipher,

If I were a petty man, I'd tell you no, simply to spite you.

However, personal benefits from the results of your work outweigh the desire to make you perpetually miserable for all of your past failings, personal and professional.

Therefore, you have my authorization.

- Darth Aculeatus

[MESSAGE END]

Encrypted Message to Bi'ev

((oh calleo/itcannotbrain ))

<DECRYPTING…. DONE

My Lord,

Vivalium Testing and return has reached a peak with a controlled number of identifiers and modifiers used, results both positive and negative have been processed and final results are ready for use.

As per prior information provided to you, these results are yours to study should you desire the data sent to you. As follows is the final data summary. Also available should you desire is Cipher 16, who was my ‘partner in crime’ in this complicated project through the testing phases if not study and acquisition.

Control Batches Aurek 5, 6, 14 Besh 16, 17 Dorn 1-13

Beneficial Batches Aurek 1-4, 7-29, 30 Herf 28-32, 36, 39Krill 16, 17, 19

Malignant Batches Cresh 12-14, 18-20 Grek 20-22, 25-30 Osk 6

With some fine tuning, packaging and manufacture, beneficial batches can be altered and sent into production for use in a matter of months. Results include medical, stimulant, adrenal mixtures. Would not recommend malignant batches for production use. The potential in these  test results show a large potential for use in work surrounding inquisition, interrogation and correction.

Final Authorization needed for personal synthesis.

Using beneficial and inert batches, a combination of several medical chemicals will be attempted in a solid and stable whole, single dose of Vivalium for use in mental and impulse modification of agent Cipher Twelve. If successful, should replace current use of medical doses used to control issues pinpointed in base medical files - access through Intelligence only. Also possible to realign current chemical misfires and reset neural state to a more stable constant that does contain programmed interruptions and blanks.

Authorize: YES | NO

<MESSAGE END.

#swtor #caspira #ebon hawk #rp

[itcannotbrain]

A short, terse holo.

(( *pst* funk-yeah ))

Caspira,

Report to hangar CJ23LX-R for immediate transport back to Dromund Kaas.

Come alone and tell no one of where you’re going or why.

You will be escorted to the Sanctum on arrival.

Any deviation from the above will result in a memory wipe, Retirement and execution of any companions or those who are trying to ‘save’ you.

- Darth Aculeatus

#swtor #ebon hawk #caspira #rp

[itcannotbrain]

The next time I use the word 'flamboyant', I really need to clarify that I mean in terms of fabric olor and possibly pattern, not in terms of what parts of me are /exposed/.

Nobody needed to see that, not even me.

#swtor #The last one looks like it has a frowning face on the chest

[itcannotbrain]

Akk Pups vs. Students

When I have an akk pup that acts out to get attention, I ignore it until it wears itself out and it gets attention when it can behave properly and not turn into a barking, snarling, jumping, whining mess the instant I look at it.

Students are the same.

I don't reward a dog's poor behavior with attention or what it wants, and I certainly don't reward a student's behavior with those things either.

Strangely, I've found the akk dogs figure it out faster than most students. Ah well, they come around in the end.

#swtor #ebon hawk #rp

[itcannotbrain]

[Sent to Tholgeth's Datapad]

Tholgeth,

Since I seem to recall that your communication devices are off as opposed to destroyed, I assume that means you might occasionally check them.

Your remaining living apprentice has been doing well with very little interference; still a Lord, but he seems content there and is rather good at what he does, so it's difficult to fault him for that.

Your agents stay in contact when necessary and let me be when unnecessary.

Caspira being the exception, of course. I doubt that comes as any surprise; she's as much a thorn in my side as she was in yours, but it rarely bothers me.

The cats are all still around; nexu and sentient.

Ire has, strangely enough, improved significantly. He's managed to get someone trying to hunt him down and has been doing well at not only avoiding death but planning--and planning well--how to strike back at not just the apprentice, but everything up the chain to the apprentice's Master.

If he succeeds at that, I'll have to admit that he deserves a Lord title. Perkele's daughter--the hulking behemoth one with the bad hair--told her to sit down and stop acting like a brat recently. Admittedly, I am far more amused than I should be about that.

Overall, things are largely the same. I've figured out ways to compensate for the absence of your previously obnoxiously constant, loud presence; and I don't mean your physical presence. I found that mostly quiet, oddly enough.

I've restructured, re-wired, re-worked, and re-configured energies and circles and bonds to compensate for the partial loss of your energies. It's taken awhile, but I've managed to re-strike a similar balance.

Don't mistake: It is not the same, nor is it close, it's simply sufficient.

Nu nezek j'us.

- Bi'ev

#Because screw you Bi'ev DOES miss Tholgeth #swtor #sith #ebon hawk #tholgeth