it-helps-me-on-the-inside-blog

[it-helps-me-on-the-inside-blog]

Animal Constellation Cookies

#I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

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[OOC | Announcement]

Yeah, I know I’ve been inactive lately, but hear me out first - I have my accounts set up on separate browsers and separate accounts, so I’m constantly switching between them to check my messages. Sometimes I get lazy and don’t check for a week. 

So, I’ve taken measures for anyone who wants immediate responses or just want to keep touch outside of roleplays/have spontaneous roleplays. I’ve created a ‘Roleplay hub’ of sorts on Discord, a server with endless channels for both OOC discussion as well as channels to roleplay in. Want a specific channel, bot, or role? Shoot me a message, I’ll put it up. Don’t want to see other people’s roleplays? Perfect, just mute the channel. 

It’s great for me because I can keep it all on one application and don’t even have to bat an eyelash to check my messages. Replies will usually only take 1-4 minutes, but this doesn’t mean I expect instantaneous responses from you all, I just type quickly and my brain flies faster than I can keep up with, so I type it as fast as possible. (Plus I’m scared of people getting impatient whoops.)

Do I expect this to be 100% perfect? No, not at all, in fact, it’ll probably crash and die within the next two weeks, if not sooner. But hey, its an experiment that I want to see through, so here we have it.

If you’re interested, here’s the link.

#OOC #DP.txt #Discord #Roleplay

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Danny, it's okay not to have humanity so long as you have a conscience and the knowledge of what's right and wrong.

But will I have that when I die? I may personally know ghosts, but I-I don’t know my ghost, y’know? I don’t know what I’d become - hell, I already have ectosignature fluctuations between green and red, what if I die in the red? What then? All I’ve worked for, all that I’ve ever fought for, would be torn down. 

So, thanks for the reassurance, but... staying alive, if only half, is top priority right now.

[it-helps-me-on-the-inside-blog]

We both know my muse needs therapy, send in anons as their therapist and we can see if we can help them out.

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The boy flinched slightly at the sudden contact, but made no further movement to escape it, instead almost leaning into it - it made him feel somewhat more real, more alive, to have contact with another. He was glad that he hadn’t personally killed anyone else... though he still held the death of his friends, family and teacher over himself, because he knew that in several ways, it was his fault for not being able to save them.

He flinched more violently when both hands fell on his shoulders, sharply inhaling before forcing himself to relax and do as he was told, taking in a shuddering breath and holding it before sighing, ears drooping. He could practically feel the redness of his eyes - well, green-ness, now, seeing as he was only ectoplasm now. Clockwork was right (then again, when was he not?) - he needed to regain control of himself so that he didn’t do any further damage.

“I’m sorry,” He whispered - he had not intended to be so quiet, but his vocal cords choked him slightly as tears built once more behind his eyelids.

it-helps-me-on-the-inside:

The boy’s eyes widened considerably before he ducked his head to take in the sight of his hands, taking note of the changes that had occurred in what felt like such a short amount of time - not only were his hands stained with his own blood - well, what was his blood, at one point - but there were talons poking through behind the gloves of his HAZMAT suit, curved and clearly intended for predatory purposes.

He stood shakily before managing to right himself fully, taking in the rest of his appearance as it were, only put off by the blood, talons and slightly blue-green skin, though he was certain that there’d be more shocks along the way, especially with the large fangs and incisors he felt prodding at the gums of his mouth.

“So–So you’re saying that I killed them, and myself?” His ears drooped as he tried to process the information given to him, resorting to staring at his hands once more, clenching his fists and giving up on holding back the tears that flowed regardless of his opinion of them, clenching his eyes shut in a final attempt to stop them before sagging.

“Was–Was anyone else hurt? The less people hurt, the better, right?” Right? Why had he felt the need to add that? Gods, was he really losing his humanity so easily and quickly? It had just been there, and now all he felt was an icy chill.

Clockwork set a hand on his shoulder to help stabilize him. He wasn’t coping well. Not that Clockwork had expected him to, of course. Danny didn’t usually react to things mildly unless he was being sarcastic. But Danny was already starting to unhinge again. The boy needed help if he didn’t want to end up like other Dans.

This one could be different. Clockwork could see it. He could feel and care in the future. Yes, there was a chance.

At first, his tone was kind and concerned. “The only one you killed was yourself. Failing to save someone isn’t killing them.” Then his tone hardened as he set both hands on Danny’s shoulders. Clockwork’s voice carried authority, speaking more from position than from himself. “Take a breath. You need to calm down, child. Try and control yourself, child. This is no time to lose your head.”

Danny could be different so long as he could control himself. If he couldn’t keep calm and learn to deal with things as they were now, he would break like the others.

#It's more than I can usually manage to write

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RULES | Answer the 20 questions and tag 20 amazing followers you’d like to get to know better!

I was tagged by @ghostlymun​

NAME | Danny [still trying to find a permenant name] NICKNAMES | Daddy Phantom, Ghost Fuck [thanks Aleks] ZODIAC SIGN | Leo/Virgo but honestly more of a Scorpio  HEIGHT | 5″10 & 1/2 ORIENTATION | Panromantic, graysexual NATIONALITY | American FAVORITE FRUIT | Grapes, I love ‘em FAVORITE SEASON | Winter for certain FAVORITE BOOK | Chris D’ Lacey’s The Fire Within FAVORITE FLOWER | Baby Blue Eyes - Dani says they remind me of her FAVORITE SCENT | Shea butter and a type of berries FAVORITE COLOR | Black and white FAVORITE ANIMAL | Probably minks - they’re adorable yet ferocious COFFEE, TEA, OR HOT COCOA | Hot cocoa for sure, I drink it whenever I need to overload my system with sugar and pass out AVERAGE SLEEP HOURS | Usually 6-9 CAT OR DOG PERSON | Dog - my two schnoodles have stolen me FAVORITE FICTIONAL CHARACTER | Oh, well, uh... As of right now, it’s a tie between Sam and Maddie, but uh, I’m biased NUMBER OF BLANKETS YOU SLEEP WITH | 1-2 DREAM TRIP | To finally meet my boyfriends @dreaminq-ink and @scar-of-regret ♥

BLOG CREATED | Gods, let me check.. Thursday, March 9th

NUMBER OF FOLLOWERS | 13 on this account (created separately for roleplay)

I tag whoever wants to fill this out because I’m too scared to directly @ someone without permission. \o/

#OOC #[guess I gotta tag you all... but I'm lazy]

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grandfather-time:

it-helps-me-on-the-inside:

[ @grandfather-time “What’s the last thing you remember?” starter ]

“I was running towards the Nasty Burger– I-It was, y’know… seconds before it happened. I-I was stupid enough to trip on a rock and I reached out and…” He trailed off, choking before clearing his throat to make the tears dissipate. Despite what Jazz would tell him - had told him - he was unable to keep himself from raising a mask around his emotions - he was supposed to stay strong.

“The next thing I know, I’m here, covered in someone else’s blood without a scratch on me. I… Clockwork, what did I do?” Red eyes looked up at the master of time in distress, trying harder to keep his emotions at bay.

One could Clockwork had grown rather callous towards Dan. The man had killed countless people, razed and leveled cities, and all but destroyed Earth. He’d closed off the ghost zone portals. He’d torn apart any ghost or ghost hunter he’d come across to the point most of them were helpless, and none stood in his way. He’d forced Clockwork’s hand to intervene. And he’d single-handedly almost destabilized two timelines. Destabilization meant a timeline’s collapse. And Dan hadn’t cared about any of that.

Yes, it sufficed to say that Clockwork was a bit callous towards Dan.

But this wasn’t that same man. There was feeling in those teary eyes, there was care. This man-this child-wasn’t malevolent or evil. No, this was not the same.

A hint of sadness touched his eyes as Clockwork shifted to his elderly form. He couldn’t feel callous towards the child, especially when the boy couldn’t remember the little evil he’d done. “Daniel,” he began quietly, drifting down towards the ground, “that blood isn’t someone else’s.

“They didn’t live. You went to Vlad to stop the pain. He tried to help by splitting your ghost and human halves. Then you split him, and,” he paused a moment to tap his chin. How could he put this lightly? “You accidentally merged with Plasmius. That merge caused you to go berserk and kill your human self before fleeing. And now you’re here, too shocked to remember.”

The boy’s eyes widened considerably before he ducked his head to take in the sight of his hands, taking note of the changes that had occurred in what felt like such a short amount of time - not only were his hands stained with his own blood - well, what was his blood, at one point - but there were talons poking through behind the gloves of his HAZMAT suit, curved and clearly intended for predatory purposes.

He stood shakily before managing to right himself fully, taking in the rest of his appearance as it were, only put off by the blood, talons and slightly blue-green skin, though he was certain that there’d be more shocks along the way, especially with the large fangs and incisors he felt prodding at the gums of his mouth.

“So--So you’re saying that I killed them, and myself?” His ears drooped as he tried to process the information given to him, resorting to staring at his hands once more, clenching his fists and giving up on holding back the tears that flowed regardless of his opinion of them, clenching his eyes shut in a final attempt to stop them before sagging.

“Was--Was anyone else hurt? The less people hurt, the better, right?” Right? Why had he felt the need to add that? Gods, was he really losing his humanity so easily and quickly? It had just been there, and now all he felt was an icy chill.

#[ Danny needs a hug 2k17 ]

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[ @grandfather-time “What’s the last thing you remember?” starter ]

“I was running towards the Nasty Burger-- I-It was, y’know... seconds before it happened. I-I was stupid enough to trip on a rock and I reached out and...” He trailed off, choking before clearing his throat to make the tears dissipate. Despite what Jazz would tell him - had told him - he was unable to keep himself from raising a mask around his emotions - he was supposed to stay strong.

“The next thing I know, I’m here, covered in someone else’s blood without a scratch on me. I... Clockwork, what did I do?” Red eyes looked up at the master of time in distress, trying harder to keep his emotions at bay.

#[It's a little short sorry] #[I'm thinking that this is a young Dan who just gained a conscience after being merged with another ghost for so long?]

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Send “What’s the last thing you remember?” for my muse’s reaction to yours asking them that after my muse has forgotten the past 10 years

#OPEN / ACCEPTING #Starter/Prompt #Proooooobably set after TUE

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[ I’m alive to at least some degree, I promise, I just really need to get xKit installed but chrome hates me ]

#OOC #[ I'm so frustrated right now ] #[ IT'S BEEN AT LEAST 5 DAYS JUST WORK WITH ME HERE ]

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Sam: From the moment I met you, I knew.

Danny: K-Knew? Knew what?

Sam: That you were an idiot.

Tucker: I can confirm

#DP.txt

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Sad Lyric Starters!

“Sometimes when I close my eyes, I pretend I’m alright.”

“I would take a whisper if that’s all you had to give.”

“You could come and save me and try to chase the crazy right out of my head.”

“I just wanna feel alive ande get to see your face again.” 

“Can the lonely take the place of you?”

“Now there’s only me and the lonely.” 

“This house no longer feels like home.”

“You still owe me a reason.”

“When you told me you’d leave, I felt like I couldn’t breathe.”

“I should’ve known better, now it hurts much more.”

“All my friends always lie to me!”

“You make me wanna scream at the top of my lungs!”

“It hurts, but I won’t fight you.”

“Sell your soul, not your whole self.”

“If you leave me then I’ll be afraid of everything.”

“You build me up and then I fall apart.”

“I’m only human.” 

“I can take so much, until I’ve enough.”

“If that’s what you ask, I’ll give you all I am.”

“Your bottles’ almost empty, you know this can’t go on.”

“It’s all over for you.”

“You do this all in vain.”

“It gets under my skin to see you giving in!”

“I thought you were beside me, but I reached and you were gone.”

“I hear you crying softly for the way it was before.”

“Are you alone, are you afraid?”

“Why did you go when I had to stay?”

“Will I see you again?”

“You tell me to hold on, but innocence is gone.” 

“I wanted to hide the truth, I wanted to shelter you.” 

“There’s nowhere we can hide.”

“Don’t get too close.”

#[Starters/Prompts] #[Accepting]

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The boy wrung his hands out anxiously, trying to think of what could possibly be the cause - had Clockwork meant the cause of his friends’ endangerment, or the cause of his suspicion towards Gregor? Thinking further, he found that he was having trouble discerning the two - perhaps he was becoming too territorial, or, god forbid, possessive of them.

“I... I think I interpreted your meaning wrong,” he confessed after a long moment of silence, glancing up with apology in his eyes, thinly veiled behind the hair that fell over his face. “All it comes back to is the portal and me walking into it - without that, there’d be no ghosts or GiW to threaten anybody, and I wouldn’t constantly endanger the whole of Amity.”

This time, he did sit on the floor, crossing his legs and placing his elbows on his knees as he rested his fists against his cheeks to prop his head up as he continued to dwell on the issue, bitter resentment for himself and previous decisions welling up in his chest and clenching painfully.

it-helps-me-on-the-inside:

He gaped up at Clockwork before an indigent look came over him, arms crossing defensively as he dared to glower up at him.

“I absolutely think they’re in danger! The Guys in White have weapons that can harm humans as well, especially the explosive missiles. And seeing as they show up every time… Gregor… does…” He trailed off, face falling as he realized his error.

“They’ve been chasing me this entire time. God, I’m an idiot! I should’ve seen it sooner - they don’t show up when Gregor does, they show up when I do! They were doing the right thing all along and here I am, Danny Fenton, the biggest screw up in the universe, trying to get them away from Gregor when really I should be getting them away from me.” His voice broke, and he pitifully tried to clear his throat to cover it as he slumped slightly, subconsciously wanting to sit on the floor and hold his head in his hands.

Crap, that was a reaction he hadn’t wanted. Emotions. Why. Why did they have to be so problematic? Clockwork knew they served a purpose, but sometimes they just didn’t make sense. In fact, it was often to Clockwork.

He placed his hands together in front of his face, taking a breath. Patience, he told himself. That much the time ghost was good with. If nothing else, he could be patient enough to help Danny come to a better conclusion without snapping at him. “That isn’t what I was aiming at, Danny. The GiW targeting you is not the issue here.” Well, it was an issue, but it wasn’t the source of it this time.

Clockwork wanted him to think, not blame himself. “Consider these feelings, Danny. Look for a cause, not a problem.”

#[I am SO sorry this is over two days late] #[Tumblr didn't notify me for some godforsaken reason]

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#Promo #[Because this is adorable hell]

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A LOVELY KHONJIN / DAN FUSION DRAWN BY MY BOYFRIEND @dreaminq-ink

#[ Spreading this to spite my boyfriend :3c ]

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He gaped up at Clockwork before an indigent look came over him, arms crossing defensively as he dared to glower up at him.

“I absolutely think they’re in danger! The Guys in White have weapons that can harm humans as well, especially the explosive missiles. And seeing as they show up every time... Gregor... does...” He trailed off, face falling as he realized his error.

“They’ve been chasing me this entire time. God, I’m an idiot! I should’ve seen it sooner - they don’t show up when Gregor does, they show up when I do! They were doing the right thing all along and here I am, Danny Fenton, the biggest screw up in the universe, trying to get them away from Gregor when really I should be getting them away from me.” His voice broke, and he pitifully tried to clear his throat to cover it as he slumped slightly, subconsciously wanting to sit on the floor and hold his head in his hands.

it-helps-me-on-the-inside:

He let out an annoyed groan, ignoring the scathing tone of his first response and shoving his face in his hands for a moment before he looked up once more. “I mean, I know I’m jealous of him for, well, obvious reasons, but that’s not entirely why I’m worried for her– their- safety. Wherever Gregor shows up, the Guys in White aren’t far behind - call me crazy, but that can’t be a coincidence.” He crossed his arms and began to pace, fingers teasing through his hair out of habit as he thought aloud.

“And she knows that I’ve been watching over them- no, it was not spying, thank you very much- but I have to make sure they’re safe. If I lose them…” He trailed off, a blank look plastered over his face before he returned to his argument with, well, himself. 

“She can hate me all she wants, but I can’t lose her.” He reaffirmed himself, a nod to himself ensuring his words. He seemed to realize at that moment that he wasn’t alone in his thoughts, cringing a bit awkwardly as he turned back to the ghost of time. 

Clockwork stayed silent for a few moments, thinking over what to say. Which option was best to take. He could tell Danny and quiet his worries, but then Danny wouldn’t be there would be there when he was needed. Not until it was too late.

But if he confirmed Danny’s worries and said Gregor was a problem, or completely disregarded Danny, the boy would feel even worse. And those had problems all their own.

“Call it what you want, spying, protecting, you’ve been with them and watching what happens.” He motioned back to the monitor, showing a scene of Sam, Tucker, and Gregor walking together. “Do you really think they’re in danger, child? If you do, then why?”