irondetectivegardener - Tumblr blog

irondetectivegardener · 4 days

Photo

Tom of Finland, Assorted Covers from 1960s - 1980s

625 notes · View notes

irondetectivegardener · 4 days

Text

THE 40s: THE QUEEN AND TRADE YEARS 1. is barely out of his teens 2. is a queen 3. or a bit of a rough trade 4. dances with strangers 5. works in an office 6. or wears a uniform 7. has big hair 8. smiles sweetly 9. knows how to dance a Finnish waltz 10. irons his trousers 11. wears shoes 12. a sports jacket 13. and doesn't shrink from a bow tie 14. has serious eyebrows 15. has a narrow waist 16. and likes it to be close to yours (is that a gun in your pocket?)

THE 50s: THE LUMBERJACK YEARS 1. is in his early 20s 2. gets a haircut 3. keeps smiling 4. lives in the great outdoors 5. gets his muscles from logging trees 6. keeps that [waist], though! 7. has a knife 8. wears wading boots for work 9. really likes wood 10. starts wearing blue jeans 11. goes where his feet take him 12. has small nipples 13. and a washboard stomach 14. loses those eyebrows 15. knows how to handle a big stick 16. but doesn't have sex on his mind

THE 60s: THE BIKER YEARS 1. is in his late 20s 2. wears biker boots (machine's parked outside) 3. starts going to the gym 4. doesn't forget his pecs 5. grows a wider waist 6. grows his hair in a fringe 7. and sideburns 8. has lots of body hair 9. grows serious nipples 10. wears a soft leather cap 11. with a phallic logo 12. smokes 13. likes tight white T-shirts 14. doesn't go anywhere without his leather jacket 15. lives in his jeans 16. button fly, of course! 17. lost his belt 18. starts bursting at the seams 19. has 'fucker' written on his back (just in case) 20. is popular in bars 21. guess what he's after 22. smiles less 23. but is very happy to see you

THE 70s: THE CLONE YEARS 1. is in his early 30s 2. gets a serious haircut 3. but keeps the sideburns 4. and tries out a moustache 5. doesn't have a bike but gets around 6. grows veins 7. goes to gay bars 8. looks happy but doesn't smile 9. always has his poppers handy 10. gets a Tom belt 11. buys leather shorts 12. with a zip fly 13. wears biker boots 14. loses his body hair 15. likes a bit of SM 16. and doesn't spare the whip 17. knows his hankie code 18. gets his ear pierced 19. keeps up at the gym (late afternoon) 20. and grows his pecs 21. because he knows bigger is better

THE 80s: THE FETISHIST YEARS 1. in his late 30s (pushing 40?) 2. after '85 is often black 3. gets his head shaved 4. or has a mohican 5. and loses his sideburns 6. develops a love for hard leather caps 7. and starts to smile again 8. grows a big moustache 9. pumps more iron than ever 10. and knows big tits are here to stay 11. (not sure what happened to those nipples, though) 12. has cast iron hips 13. and his neck outgrows his face 14. sometimes has a foreskin 15. gets a sword-belt 16. jodhpurs 17. with a button fly 18. and a wide belt 19. wears riding boots 20. is clearly identifiable as one of Tom's men 21. uses a condom 22. and knows biggest is best