invisibleinorange

[invisibleinorange]

Chapters: 22/? Fandom: Bridgerton Rating: M Warnings: Presumed Character Death, Violence Descriptions (In This Chapter) Relationships: Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington,  Eloise Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington(besties),  Bridgerton Family Dynamics, Simon Hastings/Daphne Bridgerton Characters: Colin Bridgerton,  Penelope Featherington, Eloise Bridgerton, Anthony Featherington,  Benedict Bridgerton,  Portia Featherington, Violet Bridgerton,  Pretty Much Everyone (at points) Additional Tags:  Bridgerton, Polin Summary:  Unexpected bad news arrives for the Bridgerton Family (and friends) regarding Colin's travels. This will be a series that is set after "The Duke and I" or season one of the show. It is a companion piece to "Goodbyes".

It was a simple affair that lacked the formality and solemnity that such a wedding might have had should it have been performed back home in London. Country weddings, especially elopements weren’t exactly known for their stark adherence to the religious doctrines.  The fact of the matter was that the men who performed such rites were hardly true clergy.

Penelope could hardly believe that this had become her life and that she was indeed marrying Colin. After everything they’d been through,  he had deemed her worthy to be his bride and the sentiment wasn’t lost on her.  She couldn’t but look back seeking the safety and approval of Anthony and Benedict as she uttered her vows though.

Hearing Colin say the words and knowing that he meant them had been everything that she’d ever wanted before he’d gone missing and when he’d come back she’d been so caught up that she’d failed to really take notice of the fact she wasn’t quite the same infatuated girl she’d been before. She had changed as a person.  She could hardly ignore the loudness of her thoughts against the quiet of his words and her own.

She certainly didn’t intend to regret this though, even if the whole thing felt a bit like an out of body experience.  She wasn’t unhappy but she had imagined that she would feel more joy flittering through her veins, excitement at spending the rest of her life with the man she’d deemed as her soul mate.  She felt something deep inside that she couldn’t quite explain though and she wasn’t quite willing to investigate.

To be perfectly honest she was terrified of what she might find if she did explore it.  She loved Colin. She always had.  God knew that she always would but a part of her couldn’t help but wonder if maybe she hadn’t made the right choice. Maybe they should have taken it slower, maybe they both needed more time to grow before they had their happy ever after if it was meant for them.  It didn’t make sense to her when it felt so right though. She’d been so sure moment ago.

The smile she’d plastered on her face through the aftermath of the ceremony felt like a cover for the sheer and utter panic she was trying to keep down.   There was something she felt deep down inside that she couldn’t quite explain, some feeling like something had to go wrong. She’d felt like that most of her life whenever something was going right. It didn’t normally take hold of her quite so strongly. She could feel it wrapping around her life a vice.

They were all to walk together to the local inn to eat and celebrate the occasion.  Her arm was held steadfast by Colin and she was trying desperately not to have him catch on to the fact she was a bit shaky.

“It’s not like you to be so quiet,” Colin finally told her after a moment. His eyes gazed over her appraisingly from the side, his grip on her all the tighter.  His normal smile was still there, never ceasing but there was concern etched in the depths of his eyes.

“I was just thinking,” Penelope told him though she didn’t choose to expand upon it.  She nodded sympathetically, patting a hand on his arm to provide some sort of reassurance that she was okay but she wasn’t sure if it was believable or not.  “Perhaps, I’m just a bit hungry.”

“Well… we’re going to fix that,”  he insisted.  Whatever skepticism he had over her words didn’t seem to last as he went back to smiling, holding conversation with Anthony as they walked.  The words sort of managed to blur together until they’d found their way to their destination.

--

There had been food and dancing.  It was definitely not the kind of thing that would have gone over as a social event in London but it was comfortable and homey. Penelope did feel full and the dancing did happen to calm her nerves and as the sky began to transition from day to twilight, she felt sure that maybe she’d simply let her mind get the best of her.

When Colin excused himself to go ensure that they had a proper to sleep on their wedding night, she’d let herself be left amongst the mix of stranger and Bridgertons.  Anthony had certainly had allowed himself to partake of the libations to the point where he was a bit sloppy.  She couldn’t help but feel a bit like she was intruding on a bachelor’s night with the way he was carrying on with a random woman.

Benedict for his part was keeping a respectful distance though every so often she would feel his eye on her and know he was more concerned with her safety than finding someone to spend the evening with.  She was grateful for it honestly.

“You can actually converse with me, you know?” she told him, decisively moving so that she could sit across from him at a table.  “You don’t have to go back to ignoring me.”

The fact he couldn’t quite meet her eye told her that it might have actually been his plan.  He forced his gaze up after a minute though.

“I wasn’t planning on it,” he lied.

She knew he was lying and she fully intended to call him out on it. She would have if she didn’t hear a crack of the door that pulled both of their focuses away.

A tall, broad shouldered man came barreling into the room.  There was something about the presence of him that commanded everyone’s attention.

“Clara?” he bellowed.

The woman that Anthony had been carrying on with pulled away from Anthony and seemed to practically disappear into the wood of the floors. She paled and it became quite clear who Clara was.

The man’s next actions were to move toward her and raise his fist to strike.  Anthony, for his part, attempted to stop it. His drinking had made him unsteady and he took the punch himself.  Like any man of honor, he decided it appropriate to strike back.

Goosebumps formed on Penelope’s skin as she watched in absolute horror at what was taking place, the world slipping away. Before she could try and stop Benedict, he was up moving to try and get the giant away from his brother.

Anthony was most definitely losing. It wasn’t an even or fair fight by any stretch and he was going to be bloodied and bruised come the next day.  Benedict simply wanted to stop it from being worse than all of that.

What she didn’t realize was the man was reaching for a knife and neither did Benedict until he was in the process of trying to get in the middle of them.  The whole thing happened so abruptly that there was little she could do to stop the blood curling screams that escaped her as Benedict’s eyes widened and he crumpled to the floor.

The man clearly realized his mistake as soon as it happened, taking off running just as he’d came leaving a bloody mess in his wake.  The woman who’d caused it all taking one look at everything before following after.

Penelope didn’t think, didn’t breath as she moved to try and see the extent of the damage.  Anthony was trying his best to get up and be helpful but he was in no condition to go get a doctor when he needed one himself.

His voice broke as she demanded someone go find a doctor before crumpling to her own knees, accessing the wound.  She ripped the fabric from her dress, trying to use it to compress the bleeding at his abdomen as if it might be enough to hold him until a physician could arrive.

“Hold on,” she demanded.

Benedict was still awake. His eyes were open and he was breathing.  Those were all things to be hopeful for. He opened his mouth to speak a few times but the words seemed to be a struggle for him, the fact he wasn’t speaking only alarmed her all the more.

His hand moved to rest on top of her own, becoming increasingly caked in his blood.  He didn’t have to utter the words for her to know what he was trying to say.  She knew that he wasn’t going to make it but it wasn’t something that she could stand for. She wasn’t sure if she could live with herself if that was the outcome of this.

“Please don’t,” she begged.

Word had apparently gotten back to Colin about there being a problem. She didn’t hear his footsteps but she did know when she heard his horrified voice and saw him there kneeling beside her.

There was so much blood, it wasn’t completely clear who was hurt now.

“Are you hurt?” Colin asked her.

“No, Ben – he was trying to protect Anthony,” she couldn’t even finish the words.  Colin tried to take over her task of holding the wound, trying to order her away with his hands.

“I have this,” he tried to tell her.

She didn’t move.

“I’m not leaving him,” she uttered. She was near hysterical anyways. She couldn’t unseen what she’d seen.  She’d never be able to get the imagery out of her head.

“Pen, you shouldn’t have to -  I’ll stay with him,”  Colin insisted, trying to keep a calm exterior but he was far from it.  The little cracks in the normally calm exterior were on full-display.

“No,” Benedict uttered, giving Colin a look that made him relent and completely give up on any ideas he might have had about sending Penelope away from the carnage.  The damage was already done.

--

By the time they’d actually managed to get a physician there,  Benedict was already beginning to fade.  He was going in and out of consciousness. Every time that he went there, it began to feel as though he might not come back.

Anthony had begun to sober up thanks to water and the horror around him.  If it was possible, he looked worse than Benedict. The guilt was clear on his face. He blamed himself for the whole damn thing.

“Not your fault,” Benedict had told him a few moments of alertness. “I’ve always had your back in a fight.”

“You’re not going anywhere,” Anthony told him solidly as the physician attempted to examine the wound. The grim look on his face made it clear that Benedict wasn’t going to be okay.

“The wound penetrated the spleen,” the physician informed them,  cleaning the wound with liquor which caused Benedict to writhe in pain.  He was paler than usually the shirt that he’d been wearing long discarded to be used to help try and stop the bleeding.

Penelope had read enough books that she knew that the odds weren’t in favor of anything being able to be done here except provide comfort, drown out the suffering until the brutal end.   There was a choice to be made here. They could either selfishly keep him alert or allow the physician to allow him to sleep until the end.

One look at his face and she knew the path he wanted.

“We need to get him to a bed,” she uttered. Colin and Anthony could get it done, especially with a little assistance.  Benedict deserved a little dignity and not the floor of this place.

There was no argument from the two of them either, especially as they moved to help with Anthony taking the feet and Colin taking the torso. There was a room with a bed not far off from there so they made their way, physician in tow.

When they managed to get him there, she moved to help remove his boots and socks. She was trembling but there was a mission to be had here.  She’d spent most of the last year grieving in one way or another and she would spend more of it doing the same but for now she needed to keep it together.

“Help him with the rest of his clothes,” she ordered to her new husband, turning away to provide him a little modesty.

Colin did precisely as instructed, Anthony fetching extra blankets to keep their brother warm.   They were far too shell-shocked to offer much argument over what they should be doing.

When she turned around, the physician was mixing some ingredients in a mortar and then pouring it into a drink.

Benedict’s eyes were closed but the shift in the sound of her dress, made him open them again. He nodded through the pain, offering her a silent thank you for taking control of this.

“I want you all to leave me,” he said resolutely after a long moment.  It was the strongest his voice had been since this whole nightmare had began.  “He will let you know when it’s over.”

“I will not,” Penelope said firmly.

“We will not,” Colin chimed in.

“You will. You can’t deny a man’s last request,” he said trying to offer a weak smile.  The wince made it clear it was a struggle for him.  “Take her away from this.”

Colin and Anthony exchanged looks.  As men, they had no choice but to honor the request.

Penelope wasn’t going to go as easily.

“Your last request is denied,” she told him firmly.

“I’m going to miss that fire,” he murmured after the doctor gave him the concoction.  It was already starting to make him feel drowsy. Whatever words he had left would be slurred. His gaze moved between his brothers and then Penelope again. “I’ve loved you all.  Take care of each other and… the others. Go.”

Bridgeton men were not above overly sentimental moments but Anthony touched a hand to his shoulder and nodded as if to silently say he loved him too.  He then turned heel and left, following direction.

Colin followed suit, attempting to grab Penelope by hand at first but when she refused, he picked her up and outright carried her while she kicked and screamed to be allowed back down.  He didn’t put her down until they were all outside to where they could get fresh air.

While the men handled this with stoicism, she absolutely fell apart.  She crumbled into Colin’s arms, crying and screaming until her voice was gone.  She had known something bad was going to happen and now it had.

#Bridgerton #colin bridgerton #Penelope Featherington #benedict bridgerton #⚜ writings — polin

[invisibleinorange]

A Different Ending  | 8/?

Chapters: 8/? Fandom: Bridgerton Rating: M Warnings:  Only be forewarned that this is an AU from the Adrift saga but Colin actually died in this one, so if he’s mentioned he’s actually gone. Relationships: Benedict Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington, Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington (past feelings),  Eloise Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington(besties),  Bridgerton Family Dynamics,  Daphne Bridgerton/Simon Hastings Characters:  Penelope Featherington, Eloise Bridgerton, Benedict Bridgerton, Daphne Bridgerton, Anthony Bridgerton Additional Tags:  Bridgerton, Penadict (do we have a ship name yet?)

Summary:  There were some requests for an alternate/Parallel word to "Bridgerton's Adrift" where Benedict and Penelope actually did get married. So this is the result of that peer pressure.

Penelope hadn’t had the luxury that most women have of having a mother who would dote on them and fill them in on the mysteries of the world.  It wasn’t that she felt that Portia didn’t have the natural maternity of people like Violet Bridgerton.  Portia had done the best she could to get her children to adulthood and Penelope knew her sisters were simply easier to deal with.

On her wedding night it hadn’t been Portia who explained marriage or all that came with it though. It had been Violet Bridgerton who had attempted and then there had been Daphne.  The information had felt a bit overwhelming, daunting at the time.  Penelope liked to think she’d figured out most of it.  She still found herself with questions though.

Pregnancy ought to have been one of the first things that crossed her mind when she found herself ill but some part of her felt like it ought to be more complex to create a child. There was no denying that she and Benedict had been intimate quite a few times since that first heated tryst in the kitchen in the family home but it seemed foolish to think her malady more than just a little virus that would pass.

She had been wrong though.

Returning home to Benedict had helped. She’d slept comfortably in their bed with him once she’d managed to get herself clean and the nausea tempered down.  It came back as soon as she awoke that morning though.

She didn’t want to trouble Benedict with it but there was no hiding it from him and even if he was supposed to go meet with their contractor and check the progress on their home, he refused.

He simply held red curls back and comforted her in the moments of calmness until enough time had passed that he felt comfortable to assist her back to bed.

She should have known he wasn’t going to let it just slide, especially when Violet Bridgerton let herself in.   Penelope was so exhausted and sickly that she hardly protested as the woman invaded the personal space of their bedroom and brought an older man with her.

“Anthony asked me to escort the physician over,” she overheard Violet explaining to Benedict.  There was something in the way that it was said that told her that Violet had insisted.

The physician moved toward the bed and began to look Penelope over.  Penelope wasn’t going to protest as anything to help be able to eat something as simple as buttered bread and keep it down would have been delightful.  It was a bit weird to have someone poke, prod and get in her personal space but it was tolerable.

It was when the questioning began that her cheeks started to burn pink.

“When did you last bleed?” the physician asked candidly.

“Last week in the garden, I pricked my finger on a rose,”  she offered not completely understanding the question at hand.

Benedict covered his mouth to not laugh while his mother nudged him hard with an arm.

“Penelope, dearest, he’s asking about your … womanly bleeding,” Violet attempted to explain in an eloquent way.

It only made Penelope blush all the more brilliantly.

“Oh then over a month ago,” she said quietly. “We hadn’t come back to London yet.”

The physician nodded.

“And you’ve had nausea.   Have had any growth or sensitivity in the…chest area?”

Clearly the doctor was trying to be delicate but he was gesturing toward her breasts.  Penelope nodded to the question.  Her corsets definitely weren’t fitting the way they used to.

“Assuming that you and your husband have consummated your marriage, my assumption is that you have a case of pregnancy,” the physician explained with a nod.  “We have no way of confirming for sure for now but you should start to feel better in the coming weeks.

Penelope looked a bit shell-shocked at the prospect of it all.

“And what until I feel better?” she asked. “And what if I’m dying?”

Violet was the one to laugh at that.

“Don’t worry darling, we’ll make sure you get whatever rest you need and I have a few old tricks up my sleeve. You don’t have as many kids as me and not know how to get through this,” Violet explained.

“I’ll leave a few of my recommendations and I’ll check back in with you but I don’t suspect you’re going to be dying, Mrs. Bridgerton,” the physician said, scribbling a few things down and extending them to Benedict.  He then nodded and departed to see another patient.

“It seems very unprofessional to just leave someone to die,” Penelope murmured from her bed, giving Benedict a glance that said she probably actually believed that she might.

Violet grabbed her hand, nodded softly.

“I know it feels like you might but you’re in good hands,” she told her simply. “Daphne is due to give birth any day now and then I suppose I’ll turn my efforts to you and grandchild number two. – I really must go since I have to meet Kate for some wedding arrangements.  We’d hoped you might join but I will let her know you’re under the weather.”

Violet Bridgerton didn’t know how to keep a secret though so there was no question half the Ton was going to be aware she was having another grandchild by the end of the day. Any speculation that might have started at Aubrey Hall was destined to be confirmed.

“I’ll walk you out,” Benedict offered before leaning to give his wife a little peck to the forehead.  “I’ll be back in just a moment and maybe we’ll try some bread and tea.”

--

Benedict knew his suspicion was probably going to be right. It absolutely thrilled him to have it confirmed, seeing the absolute pride on his mother’s face at the prospect of another grandchild.  He’d always pictured himself a father, imagined doting on this small thing that looked the perfect combination of himself and whoever he wed.

Penelope was his wife now and the prospect of a child that looked just like her was enough to make his heart swell with pride.  He was absolute overcome with joy even if he was admittedly concerned that his child wasn’t taking it easy on its mother.    He wasn’t going to leave her any longer than necessary until she felt better though. He would figure something out for the day to day supervision of their home getting built.

Anthony was out of the question as he was about to get married and there would be a honeymoon there.  Gregory was far too young. The Duke had enough to manage between Daphne and the much anticipated arrival of their first child.   He was going to have to find a suitable proxy. He needed more time to think on it though.

He took the steps two at a time, smiling like an idiot when he came back with some fresh, hot tea and toast heavily slathered in butter and jam.  He found Penelope just as he’d left her lying in the bed but her hand was on her stomach and he couldn’t help but feel like he’d interrupted some private conversation that he couldn’t quite hear.

“We’re going to get your strength back up,” he told her softly, moving to sit near her.  She offered a small smile, her eyes moving toward the toast. She started to reach for it but he pushed her hand away. “I’m going to feed you.”

“That’s not necessary,” she insisted though it was too late.  He was already breaking a piece away for her and moving it toward her mouth.  The moan that escaped her at the taste of it was almost sexual.  It had been so long since she’d eaten and managed to keep something down, she’d stopped even trying but that was the best bread she’d ever eaten.

“I have to keep you from eating too fast,” he said before moving to lift the tea to give her a sip. “There’s ginger in that. It always helped mother and Daphne is a fan herself.”

Penelope certainly wasn’t about to fight anything that might give her a fighting chance of resuming some form of normal life.  She just wanted to be able to eat food, enjoy her husband’s company and attend Anthony’s wedding in a few weeks. She didn’t think she was asking for too much.

“If I weren’t already married to you, I’d do it all over again,” Penelope confessed. “Please let me have some more.”

“That’s a good thing since you’re going to be the mother of my child,” he teased quietly, giving her more of the bread. He was pretty sure the fingers holding it were in danger if he didn’t move them quickly enough.

“Are you okay with that?” she asked as she awaited another sip of the tea. Benedict could read the anxiety over it all over her face.  She had no reason for concern there.

“I’m over the moon about it,” he confessed, balancing the plate on his leg long enough to reach a hand to touch her belly. “I can’t wait to meet our son or daughter and to teach them how to draw, swim and adventure. I’m pretty in love with them already.”

It was something she was a little self-conscious about but she did let her hand move to cover his.  She offered a nod and a light smile.  “They’re going to love you as much as you love them,” she said giving him a glance before her hand moved to reach for his caller, tugging him for a bit of a kiss.

She wasn’t sure if it was the tea, the toast or just Benedict but she felt a little better and well if they made an absolute mess in their bed so she could show a little appreciation it wasn’t going to be a bit loss.

#penedict #penelope featherington #benedict bridgerton #bridgerton

[invisibleinorange]

Update still isn’t ready.  I think I just needed more time to recoup to get ready for my work week but God am I ready to get back to my children.

#⚜ musings — scrattered thoughts

[invisibleinorange]

Still alive. Updates haven’t happened lately.  Life has just been busy and I recently got my second covid-19 shot and it really knocked me on my ass.  God willing. I’ll do at least one update tomorrow. :)

#⚜ musings — scrattered thoughts #tw: covid-19

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Bridgerton’s Adrift | 21/?

Chapters: 21/? Fandom: Bridgerton Rating: M Warnings: Presumed Character Death Relationships: Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington,  Eloise Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington(besties),  Bridgerton Family Dynamics, Simon Hastings/Daphne Bridgerton Characters: Colin Bridgerton,  Penelope Featherington, Eloise Bridgerton, Anthony Featherington,  Benedict Bridgerton,  Portia Featherington, Violet Bridgerton,  Pretty Much Everyone (at points) Additional Tags:  Bridgerton, Polin Summary:  Unexpected bad news arrives for the Bridgerton Family (and friends) regarding Colin's travels. This will be a series that is set after "The Duke and I" or season one of the show. It is a companion piece to "Goodbyes".

Anthony almost wished he’d brought a gun with him if only to send a warning shot.  It wasn’t that he didn’t love Benedict but he was beginning to regret stopping at Aubrey Hall for reinforcements. He’d never seen Benedict like this.  They were barely stopping, barely sleep and when he’d try to get a few more hours he’d get snapped at because they ‘weren’t going to make it’.

He had assumed a few things about Benedict’s feelings when he’d promptly left town upon Colin’s return but he hadn’t know things were this bad.   Anthony liked to think that he knew his siblings pretty well considered he was the oldest.  He’d always known Benedict to be a bit more emotional than the rest. He wasn’t as dramatic as some of the others though.

Benedict tended to suppress and bury things until they could be suppressed no longer. Anthony had seen things bubble up in his younger brother plenty of times over the course of their lives.

Apparently, this was one of those situations.

He knew better than to try and get in the middle of it.  More than anything he was terrified of what Benedict was going to do when they made it to Scotland.  There were too many unknown factors here.

For starters, he didn’t know if they were going to make it before Colin could successfully elope.  Second, he didn’t know if the suspicion was even correct or if it was that they’d even find them there. Anthony was honestly terrified to think of what he’d be dealing with if they didn’t find them.   His mother would be the least of his worries.

By the time they reached, Northumberland with a clear view of the River Tweed exhaustion was threatening every moment. Anthony couldn’t stop because he knew Benedict would not aside from pausing to interrogate people in passing about where across the bridge people went to wed.

It earned a few curious glances since there wasn’t a woman with them.  Benedict clearly wasn’t thinking about how it might be coming off and Anthony’s insistence that they were brothers seemed to be the only think preventing someone for reporting them for attempting to undertake illegal activities.

The little stone inn on the other side of the bridge looked precisely as they had been informed it would.  There wasn’t much to it.  It was so unassuming and yet there was something about the structure that made seemed to leave both Bridgerton men silent, terrified.

After riding through England like an absolute mad man, it was Benedict who seemed to completely freeze at the sight of it.  His tall form locked into place and the color drained from his features.

“We haven’t gone this far for you to just stop now, have we?” Anthony asked, turning on his heel to gaze at his little brother.

Benedict just shook his head lamely.

Anthony couldn’t help but feel sorry for him.  He knew he just had to pause and wait for Benedict to snap out of it.

While he was waiting he saw Benedict’s expression change though and he had no choice but look back toward the structure.

“Ben,” a voice called out, followed by a sea of loose red curls moving out of the door.  The body that the red curls, moved toward them and hugged the frozen boy which was definitely not appropriate but it didn’t stop her.

“You know, I’m here too,” Anthony said making a face.  

Penelope laughed at that and turned to greet Anthony with a nod.

“What are you two doing here?” Penelope asked gaze moving between them.

“Where is Colin?” Ben asked finally regaining use of his tongue.

Based on the look on his face,  Anthony wasn’t sure if he was asking this to truly know where their brother was because they didn’t see him or because he intended to murder him. If he could have gestured for Penelope to maybe not answer that without Benedict seeing, he very well might have.

“He’s had to go a ways to collect to a Priest Dickson,” she said before shaking her head. Priest Dickson apparently had a reputation for performing marriage rights and could come join them there for the right price.  “Apparently, he’d decided to enjoy a day of leisure at home since it’s the slow season.”

“So you fools really are doing this?” Anthony asked.

“That was our intention. I presume you’re here to try and talk us out of it,” Penelope said with a nod.  Her gaze moved from Anthony to Benedict who was being remarkably quiet.

“No,” Benedict replied before Anthony could.

Anthony didn’t really plan on stopping it either but he was admittedly surprised to hear that come out after all of this.

Penelope looked conflicted by this information and relieved all at once.  Anthony couldn’t help but see the way her gaze seemed to be trying to pierce the wall that Benedict wasn’t letting down.

“I promised to look after you,” Benedict said after a long moment. “You don’t have to have any sort of special wedding but you do have to let me be the one who gives you away.”

Anthony threw a hand up at that, another moving to massage his own temple.  He’d been dragged half-way through England, nearly died with exhaustion for that when they could have just gotten there after the deed was done.  

Blood on a wedding day probably wasn’t a good omen, so not murdering Benedict was going to be his wedding gift.

Considering the fact, Penelope’s response to the words was tears told Anthony that Colin might be the one to commit the Fratricide.

--

Colin did return as expected with a man that even he had been unsure about as priest. He had no choice but to give it as pass if he wanted to do this. He knew that when it came to these things, half the time the ‘priests’ were just simple village people who had the ability to sign legal documents.

It was a bit of a shock to return and see his two brothers there.  Admittedly there was one that gave him more rise to concern than the other. His mind raced back to the conversation he’d had with Benedict before he’d fled to the country and a part of him feared was there to put a stop to this.

Jealousy raced into him that he couldn’t begin to control and irrationally he did wonder if Penelope was going to back out. What if she’d come to her sense and didn’t want to marry him? What if she realized that she preferred his brother?

“I defiled her,” he announced to his brothers in a moment of panic, knowing that if her honor was in question there was absolutely nothing they would do to stop it.

Penelope’s eyes widened at that, catching the complete change in Benedict’s posture threw herself between them.

“It was consensual,” she assured, keeping her voice low. “I wouldn’t use defile to describe it.  Your brother is clearly out of mind.”

Anthony debated stepping in before there was actual blood spilled but decided that he was too tired for that and he was just going to stand there and let Penelope handle it. She was doing well enough.

Benedict relented at her request, not pleased to hear that Colin couldn’t even constrain himself long enough to make it proper first but it had been her choice.

“Out of my mind in love,” Colin said pointedly.

“Jealousy,” Anthony coughed into his hand.

This earned him three glares.

“If you don’t mind, I’d like to begin the proceedings,” the man who’d come with him said, so they did.

#polin #bridgerton #colin bridgerton #penelope featherington #⚜ writings — polin

[invisibleinorange]

Today is one of those days where you just want to write a chapter and you have the general idea of it in your head but you’re just tired and want to curl in your bed.  The next Bridgerton’s Adrift chapter is going to be a big one.  It’s just a matter of composing it.

#⚜ musings — scrattered thoughts

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Colin Bridgerton being sad + giving us for the first time a tiny glimpse of his neck without his cravat 👁👄👁

#⚜ muse — the best bridgerton #okay but if s2 and s3 doesn't have a bunch of scenes like this #where colin is beating himself up over pen #I don't want it

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A Different Ending |  7/?

Chapters: 7/? Fandom: Bridgerton Rating: M Warnings:  Only be forewarned that this is an AU from the Adrift saga but Colin actually died in this one, so if he’s mentioned he’s actually gone. Relationships: Benedict Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington, Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington (past feelings),  Eloise Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington(besties),  Bridgerton Family Dynamics,  Daphne Bridgerton/Simon Hastings Characters:  Penelope Featherington, Eloise Bridgerton, Benedict Bridgerton, Daphne Bridgerton, Anthony Bridgerton Additional Tags:  Bridgerton, Penadict (do we have a ship name yet?)

Summary:  There were some requests for an alternate/Parallel word to "Bridgerton's Adrift" where Benedict and Penelope actually did get married. So this is the result of that peer pressure.

Benedict was grateful to have found reasonable contractors who knew the urgency to have his and Penelope’s new home finished.  While they’d managed to make the most of his bachelor home, he wanted to provide more for her.  That was why he spent the majority of his days in Kensington, watching the progress and ensuring that everything was falling into place.

Despite the fact he didn’t want to be without his wife for any extended period of time, his mother had practically begged that Penelope be allowed to join the family at Aubrey Hall.  The plan was to seal the deal on Anthony’s match to Edwina Sheffield.  Benedict had his doubts that it would happen if only because Penelope seemed fairly certain that Anthony was better suited to Kate. He knew better than to bet against his wife.

It made sense for Penelope to help chaperone at Aubrey Hall. Her presence allowed her to stay abreast on the happenings of the parties and he could make sure their home was completed before the worst of the rainy seasons arrived.  It was only a matter of a week but it felt like a century without her.

He’d been fully prepared to show her how much he missed her upon her return.  He’d planned to have her favorite meal ready for her when she got home. They’d be able to sit together and she could tell him about everything he’d missed while they ate.

He knew that Anthony would escort her home but he was not quite prepared for her to him to practically be keeping her up right.  He’d known Penelope most of her life and while he hadn’t been around her while she was ill, he instinctively knew that her coloring was wrong.

“Pen,” he murmured moving to collect her from his brother. Concern creased her features as he moved her inside and to a small sitting room, so he could sit her down.

“I’m okay. Just a little carriage sick,” she said, protest clear in her voice though she wasn’t quite in a carriage anymore and she looked as if she was struggling to not retch. “I don’t need all this fuss.”

Benedict gave his older brother a look, as if waiting to verify the veracity of that statement.  If she’d been fine before departing Aubrey Hall he might could pass it off as carriage sickness. He’d been in many carriages with her at this point and not once had she been ill though.

“That’s a lie,” Anthony confirmed. “She’s been sickly since the last dinner party. She gave us all a bit of a laugh though.  She apparently tried to excuse herself from that miserable Cressida Cowper and she wouldn’t stop talking.”

“You didn’t?”  Benedict said trying not to laugh at the thought of Cressida covered in vomitus.  He was actually concerned for his wife but even he wasn’t foolish enough to note see the humor in that.

Penelope nodded though when she attempted to open her mouth, her eyes widened and she covered mouth. She was to her feet trying to run and find somewhere to properly retch.  Benedict’s eyes followed with concern. He really was going to have to go take care of her.

“Trying to upstage my engagement with a baby?” Anthony asked raising an eyebrow.

The two parts hit Benedict with equal force.  Anthony was engaged and he was going to have a baby?  They’d both seen their mother pregnant so many times that it was almost foolish that it didn’t hit him immediately. In a matter of seconds, his face flickered from confusion to excitement to absolute elation.

“Does she know?” he found himself asking.

“About my engagement to Kate? Of course. They’re strangely fond of each other. I daresay Kate might like Penelope more than she likes me,” Anthony said.

Kate. Penelope had been right about that one.

He shook his head though. That wasn’t what he was inquiring about.

“As happy as I am that you’ve selected a wife. I meant about the baby. Does Penelope think she’s with child?” he asked again.

“No. She seems to think she’s had a bad run of food poisoning and travel sickness,” Anthony said with a laugh. “Should I have a physician stop drop by tomorrow?”

“No – yes,” Benedict said after a long moment.  “Does anyone else share in your suspicion?”

“Mother,” Anthony said after a moment. “She didn’t verbalize it to me but I did see her and Mrs. Featherington chatting rather suspiciously in recent days. They’ve been peddling a ‘digestion’ tonic toward her for days.”

“Well thank you for returning her safely home,” he said. “I should probably go take care of her but please forward my congratulations to Kate.  We’ll have to have you both over for dinner while you plan your wedding.”

Anthony nodded before taking his leave.

--

Benedict took the steps to the wash room two at a time.  They’d only ever vaguely discussed children in the sense that they knew that they wanted children to be part of their life and not just because it was what society dictated that children should be a product of marriages.

He hadn’t really given much thought to when it would happen. He’d been so busy focusing on the construction of their home and finding his stride with her that he hadn’t imagined it happening so soon. He was honestly thrilled at the prospect of being a father.

“Everything okay?” he asked gently from the doorway when he found her, bent over though no longer retching. The smell let him know that she definitely had been. She was breathing fairly heavily from the effort.  He crossed the space to lean sit in the floor next to her and rub her back.

“You shouldn’t see me like this,” she told him, embarrassed by the whole thing. Penelope felt dirty. She honestly hadn’t planned to be ill upon her return to him.  God how she’d missed him while at Aubrey Hall though.  Her bed felt empty without him.  Her days were boring without the conversations or the company.

“Sorry but you’re stuck with me,” he told her stubbornly. It had been quite a few years since his mother’s last pregnancy and he admittedly tried to block out those memories. It was painful to look back and think of Hyacinth growing in his mother’s belly and the way his father had absolutely doted over her until his death.  He didn’t care if other men chose to be absent. He fully intended to dote over Penelope. “I’ve seen worse. If I had known you were ill, I would have come to you.”

She offered a weak smile as she managed to sit up.

“I’m home now,” she told him quietly. “You’re not going to be mad if I just want to bath and sleep, will you?”

He pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head.

“No, I’ll even prepare a hot bath for you,” he told her.

“You really don’t have to,” she told protested. “I can do it.”

“No. Go grab yourself a cup of tea and a biscuit from the kitchen if you can stomach it and I’ll come get you when it’s ready.”

He didn’t tend to keep staff here full-time. It wasn’t like in the family home.  He did have people who came and went during the day to ensure cleaning and cooking was done. He had little complaint of handling basic things like starting fires or preparing water on his own.

He stood, rolling up his sleeves before setting into motion, helping her to her feet first before he set off on his task.  It wasn’t quick a quick task but he did manage to heat up water over a fire and fill the movable tub in the washroom until it was at a satisfactory temperature.

He was pleased to see a little color back in her when she came by up to try and help him.  He’d been about to go grab her though so there was little left to be done aside from enjoy.

“I’m spoiled,” she told him, curling into him slightly for a moment in gratitude. “I saw the dinner you had prepared. I’m honestly so sorry for being sickly. Tomorrow when I’m better, I’m going to make it up to you.”

He shook his head.

“You don’t have anything to make up to me,” he insisted. He debated telling her of his suspicion but he also didn’t want to get ahead of himself.  If it turned out she was just ill and not carrying his child, he would feel foolish for suggesting it. He turned his head enough so he could lean down and kiss her appreciatively. “I’ll leave you to your bath, Mrs. Bridgerton.  Please do call if you need any further assistance. I’m pretty good with a wash cloth.”

“Don’t go,” she told him when he started to pull and walk away. Her hand reached out to grab his arm in an attempt to stop him. It worked quite effectively.  “I want to hear about everything I’ve missed in London while I was away.”

Benedict smiled, helping her out of her clothing and into the tub. He couldn’t help but envisioned how her form might change if she was carrying his child. He pushed the thought out of his head though so he could comply with her request. He had a lot to tell her and even more he wanted to hear from her.

He loved his wife.

#benedict bridgerton #penelope featherington #bridgerton

[invisibleinorange]

Swelter Weather  | 7/?

Chapters: 7/? Fandom: Bridgerton Rating: M Warnings: None at this point. Relationships: Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington,  Eloise Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington(besties),  Bridgerton Family Dynamics, Marina Thompson/Phillip Crane, Eloise Bridgerton/Phillip Crane, Kate Sheffield/Anthony Bridgerton, Daphne Bridgerton/Simon Hastings Characters: Colin Bridgerton,  Penelope Featherington, Eloise Bridgerton, Phillip Crane, Benedict Bridgerton, Daphne Bridgerton, Additional Tags:  Bridgerton, Polin

Summary: Colin Bridgerton is weary from travel and decides to spend the summer at the Aubrey Hall. While his initial plans were to avoid his perfect family, he ends up sharing the house with Eloise and Penelope. This is a Modern AU!

If it weren’t for the fact it would have disturbed the warm, soft body curled into to him, Colin wouldn’t have hesitated to get up and shut the curtains to stop the sun from filling his room.  He had zero interest in leaving his room or her though.

It was the strangest thing.  He’d never really craved someone’s company as much as hers. There had been people who had inspired less than gentlemanly thoughts in him.  There were many times he’d considered giving into those desires but not once had he wanted more than those things with those other women.

He wanted everything with Penelope and that was why he’d forced himself to take a step back, to make sure that he was doing things the right way with her.  He couldn’t possibly be happier than he was to hold her tight or listen to the little sounds she made in her sleep.

He’d always thought she was beautiful but seeing her at peace, lost in dreams only made him think her more beautiful. He dare say she was the most beautiful person in the world and she was his.  The novelty of the thought of it hadn’t worn off nor did he think that it ever would.

He was admittedly a little nervous about how Eloise might react to the news that they were together but he knew things would be okay. Eloise would come around. She always did.

He pushed all thoughts of his sister from his mind as he buried his face into Penelope’s messy red curls, closing his eyes as if to push away the morning and extend this bliss a little longer.

He smiled when he saw her eyes flicker open and her own tired smile form across her face.  Penelope wasn’t shy about snuggling into him all the more.  It was funny how intimate they could be despite the fact he hadn’t let them complete intimacy.

“Do you think Eloise would buy me still feeling ill and us needing to stay in here all day?” she murmured quietly.

“Not a chance,” he told her with a laugh.  Eloise definitely wouldn’t just leave them be unless she was explicitly told to.

Neither of them were any particular hurry to get up.  Colin knew his stomach would eventually betray him and demand breakfast would strike but for now, he just wanted to savor the moment.

In fact, he was pretty sure he could smell bacon permeating from the kitchen. Normally that would have sent him wandering down to try and get first dibs but times were changing.  His desire to keep cuddling Penelope trumped any food craving.

“I can’t believe she’s already up,” Penelope murmured, apparently smelling the bacon too. She sighed at the thought they were probably going to have to get up and show their face downstairs. “She’s not even a morning person.”

“I could always go down and make a big plate,” Colin said after a moment.  “Breakfast in bed?... All day in bed with me.”

“I’d be crazy to say no to that,”  she murmured leaning to steal a kiss before he could get up, which honestly made him not want to get up. He pushed himself up and out from under the comforter with a sigh.

Eloise was going to have to deal with him coming down in pajama bottoms and no shirt.  This was as dressed as he was going to get.

“You just stay right there,” he said with a grin. “I’ll deal with Eloise.”

--

Colin fully intended to grab a plate of food and tell Eloise to find something else to do today.  He had the whole thing prepared in his head, carefully crafted to deal and then escape back to his blissful little bubble.

His mind went blank when he made it down the kitchen and didn’t just fine his sister.  His eyes widened slightly at the sight of Phillip helping her make breakfast.

He watched for a long moment, trying to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating things. Phillip was a little bit too comfortable for his liking and the protective older brother in him debated whether he ought to punch his friend or start asking questions.

He cleared his throat loudly, an act he hoped to split up whatever was happening.  Eloise didn’t even have the modesty to look embarrassed by this whole thing though.

“How’s Pen?” she asked a little too casually. “Still feeling under the weather?”

The mention of Penelope did bring his mission back to mind. He was supposed to be grabbing plates and heading back up stairs.  His mind was flailing trying to figure out what exactly he was supposed to be doing at this point.

“- I was coming to get her a plate,”  Colin said, eyeing Eloise and Phillip suspiciously.  “Clearly it was too late last night and you offered Phillip one of the other guest rooms.”

“Not exactly,”  Eloise said sheepishly.

Colin knew that look. He’d seen it on their older brothers plenty of times after they’d brought random girls back in the past.  He clenched his fist. He was going to murder Phillip Crane.

“What do you mean by that?” he asked despite the fact he had zero business doing it.

“Well, you could say that he was ill and I took care of him,” Eloise said crossing her arms. She definitely knew that Penelope hadn’t been ill and she definitely knew Penelope was in his bed at the moment.

“I didn’t -  we literally slept,” Colin said defensive over his own actions.

“I really should get going,” Phillip said clearly not wanting to get in the middle of family drama.  “It seems like you two have things to talk about.”

Both Bridgerton heads turned and said ‘no’ in unison. This really did have to stop becoming a thing.  They didn’t wait to see that he was staying though as they were busy squaring off.

“You invited him to distract me so you could fuck my best friend,” Eloise said in an accusatory voice.

“I’m still here,” Phillip felt a need to interject.

“Oh dear,” a fourth voice said from the doorway. Penelope had apparently heard the voices and decided to come mediate. She raised an eyebrow at the presence of Phillip.  That was a turn.

She moved closer to Phillip and shook her head, giving a consolatory smile.  “There is really no getting in the middle of these things. You just have to let them fight it out. You’ll learn.”

“I didn’t fuck her,” Colin argued. “We are together though, no thanks to you and your constant need to get in the middle.”

“You’re a liar and a hypocrite,” Eloise said right back.

“I’m neither. But you have no business sleeping with people that you don’t even know, especially not when you’re –“

“I wasn’t,”  Eloise said shaking her head. “I’m not a child.  I have just as much right as you do to invite whoever I want here. I like Phillip.”

“He’s literally years older than you and he has kids,” Colin argued.

Phillip wasn’t sure whether he should be offended or not but Penelope gave him a sympathetic glance,  reached to grab a filled plate handing him one so they could at least eat breakfast while watching and making sure blood wasn’t drawn in this fight.

“You’re a few years older than Penelope,” Eloise argued.

“That’s different.”

“How is it different?”

“Because I love her,” he said talking with his hands. “I’ve literally been in denial for years and you’re really going to falsely equate hooking up with some guy you’ve known all of two seconds to me wanting to be with Penelope.”

“You what?” Penelope interjected, nearly choking on her bacon. Phillip had to give her a pat on the back to stop the coughing.

“I thought you said we weren’t to interject,” Phillip murmured.

“Well when people say they love you get to interject,” Penelope murmured.

Eloise shook her head, narrowed her eyes.  “I don’t need to travel the world to figure out what I want,” she said pointedly.  “Don’t try to get in the middle of it with this big brother nonsense and I’ll get out of your way.”

“Really?” Colin asked after a long moment, slightly unsure whether he’d won this argument or not, especially since Eloise was going to let him be with Penelope without trying to stop it, if he got out of her way.

“I mean, she’s still my best friend and I will hurt you if you hurt her but she’s also an adult and clearly she is a willing victim.”

“I wouldn’t really go with victim,” Colin said after a moment, remembering there was food now that things were at least semi-decided. His gaze finally moved over to where Penelope and Phillip had been standing, eating and watching.  He offered a small smile. “Girlfriend is the term we’re going with these days. Speaking of which, we’re going back upstairs.”

Eloise made a face at that.

“At least me and Phillip will be able to keep our breakfast down,” she said to their retreating backs as they disappeared just as easily as they’d interrupted her morning.

#bridgerton #colin bridgerton #⚜ writings — polin #polin #penelope featherington

[invisibleinorange]

Things that haven’t happened this weekend:

Any updates... 

I am trying to at least get up one before bed tonight.

#⚜ musings — scrattered thoughts

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@brielyse95

I’m sensing a new fic, I fully support and look forward to you wringing more Pen and Ben

Maybe after I finish the current stuff.   I’m definitely not sure I will ever have Sophie muse though so... no one hate me if she is never part of any story.  I know that she’s beloved in the fandom but she’s not for me.

#brielyse95 #⚜ musings — scrattered thoughts

[invisibleinorange]

I’m currently working on book 3 and like Sophie interrupting Benedict thinking about how much he actually likes Penelope while about to ask her to dance didn’t endear me to her.  At least Colin ended up dancing with her instead but ... like fuck you, Sophie Beckett and your broke ass Cinderella storyline.

Also, fuck Portia Featherington for the family fruit costumes but making Penelope be a leprechaun. Like why would you not have just made her the orange or even a banana. 

This book is a travesty.

#⚜ musings — scrattered thoughts #tw: vent

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Bridgerton’s Adrift  | 20/?

Chapters: 20/? Fandom: Bridgerton Rating: M Warnings: Presumed Character Death Relationships: Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington,  Eloise Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington(besties),  Bridgerton Family Dynamics, Simon Hastings/Daphne Bridgerton Characters: Colin Bridgerton,  Penelope Featherington, Eloise Bridgerton, Anthony Featherington,  Benedict Bridgerton,  Portia Featherington, Violet Bridgerton,  Pretty Much Everyone (at points) Additional Tags:  Bridgerton, Polin Summary:  Unexpected bad news arrives for the Bridgerton Family (and friends) regarding Colin's travels. This will be a series that is set after "The Duke and I" or season one of the show. It is a companion piece to "Goodbyes".

Eloise didn’t know what it was like to fall in love.

Everything that she knew about the concept came from books or the relationships of people around her.  She only had a vague recollection of her parents prior to her father’s death. Half the time, it felt more like other people’s memories than her own.  She hated the fact that with every passing day she remembered her own father less and less.  Aubrey Hall had been her first home and yet it always felt strange to be there. London always felt more like home but that was where she’d spent the majority of her formative years.  She’d returned there out of love for her brother though.

Benedict hadn’t been himself since Colin returned.  She dared not speculate his feelings at first but she had known he was running away from something. She’d always been particularly close to him. Even though he didn’t tend to have many secrets, she usually was the family member to figure them out.  Just like he’d treated her cuts and bruises as a child, she wanted to fix whatever ailed him. That was why she followed him to Aubrey Hall.

She assumed that like all the past moments where they’d experienced an upset or difficulty they’d be able to fix it.  It was a bit of an egotistical notion to think that she could be the one to help him find his way back to the family but it was truly what she’d thought.

She had assumed it would be easy.  It wasn’t.

The brother that she found at Aubrey Hall looked like Benedict but there was something very hollow, sad about his presence. He was there but he might as well have not been. It had been weeks and despite having plenty of opportunity, he kept every conversation succinct and impersonal. He hadn’t once confided in her how he was feeling when she’d ask how he was. A simple ‘fine’ was his go-to reply and she knew he was far from it.

She had thought that if she brought up home, that might encourage him to speak about it.  Every time she received a letter from Penelope or an entry from Whistledown, he’d read it aloud.  He looked uncomfortable at the latest mentions of Colin and Penelope but the way he looked when she’d get a new article from Whistledown was much worst.  Even on a good day, those things would cause him to make an excuse and lock himself away. She usually wouldn’t see him until days later.

The first time he’d skipped a meal, she’d thought he might be ill and she’d even gone as far as to take it to his room for him.  The door was locked though and when she knocked he didn’t let her in to deliver it.   When he finally did emerge the next day, he looked tired and older but he acted as if he hadn’t been a ghost.

She’d had never seen him like this and she was beginning to worry.  It did cross her mind that Benedict might never return to the family. She didn’t want to meddle and make things worse but she didn’t like the state of things. She didn’t want to see her favorite brother unhappy but she also didn’t quite know what the solution was.

She had thought a solution could be found in non-familial companionship. He also didn’t seem to want to discuss that either. She’d casually suggested he reconnect with the Modiste or literally find anyone to be less gloomy. She’d mentally prepared herself for him to say no but she hadn’t been prepared for an absolute meltdown.

Benedict was always the quietest and the gentlest of her brothers. The bottled up emotions exploded at that suggestion though. He destroyed one of their mother’s favorite vases with fist. When he realized what he’d done, he cried and Eloise couldn’t remember ever seeing him cry. She knew it wasn’t about the vase or the fact he’d managed to hurt his hand. He didn’t say it but somehow she knew: his heart was broken.

If this was what love was like, Eloise was more certain than ever that she wanted nothing to do with it.

--

Even though Eloise didn’t tell him that she pitied him. Benedict knew it. He hadn’t asked her to come. He hadn’t wanted anyone to be there with him. He needed time to mourn in peace without anyone in the Ton judging him.  Penelope Featherington might not have been dead but she might as well have been.  She was going to marry Colin.

A few months ago, it wouldn’t have been a problem. He would have been thrilled at the choice and welcomed her into the family.  He didn’t think he could stomach it now. He couldn’t bear to put on a smile and watch her marry Colin. He couldn’t handle seeing them at family dinners and seeing her smile or laugh at the things Colin could say. He couldn’t handle thinking of them sharing a marital bed or her stomach swelling with his nieces and nephews.

He wasn’t foolish enough to try and stop it nor did he want to. He wanted nothing more than for her to be happy and he knew that she would be. He knew Colin would actually treat her well.

It was selfish but he intended to never return to London. If he’d been less of a coward he would have bought a ticket to America or France and slipped beyond his mother’s grasp. Aubrey Hall was his stepping stone.  He needed to go so far away that no one in the family could question why he didn’t return home for holidays or weddings.    

Eloise wasn’t letting him.

The morning after he’d cried in front of her, he debated leaving at first dawn.  She wasn’t a morning person so she wouldn’t hear him slip out and by the time she saw his letter informing her of his plans he’d be too far gone.

When he started to write the letter, he couldn’t bring himself to compose it so things continued on as they had been.

--

Mothers rarely interrupted the solitude of bachelor quarters but most men didn’t have Violet Bridgerton as their mother.  Anthony had been sleeping off a hangover when he heard his mother’s huff as she pushed back the curtains to the room.  The sunlight was appalling and he attempted to pull his pillow over his head.

“Where is your brother?” she demanded of him.

He grumbled in his sleep.

“At his place or… wherever Penelope is,” he said.

“That’s to be assumed. She told me she was visiting her family but Portia Featherington says she hasn’t seen her in weeks,” Violet said.

He lifted the pillow away, dark hair shaggy from bed head. His gaze moved to his mother and he realized she was worried and not actually mad. His brain caught up to the moment.

“I’m sure they’re fine,” he said after a moment.

“Colin was supposed to be with you at a match,” she said after a moment. “I can only imagine that there wasn’t one.”

Anthony debated covering for his little brother there but he knew better than to do that in this moment. Violet was a force and even if they were okay, he was going to have to go and find them.

“I was at the club until hours ago,” he confessed.  “If you’ll be so kind to give me some privacy I’ll get dressed and go find them.”

Violet crossed her arms, narrowing her eyes.

“I gave birth to you. There’s nothing I haven’t seen,” she uttered before complying and headed toward the door.  “You better find them before I do.”

--

Anthony checked every place he knew to search and came up empty handed as far as the city went.  He’d thought he would find them easily but there was no sign of them anywhere.  He begrudgingly called upon the Duke of Hastings for assistance.

Simon had far more resources in the city to operate from.

It was dusk before they learned from a servant who had heard from a footman that Colin had taken to sneaking away with Penelope for romantic time.  They’d apparently last been seen leaving the city in a carriage.

His theories went salacious but it was Daphne who suggested that perhaps there was nothing salacious happening at all.  It was possible that they were headed to Scotland to wed.

Anthony did the math in his head.  It would take 4-5 days if they traveled 12 hours at a time.  They had a good lead on him but if he traveled on horse instead of carriage, he might be able to catch up.  He didn’t necessary intend to stop them.  Perhaps if they wed, the family could finally have a little peace.

He took off immediately only stopping to rest the first time when he reached Aubrey Hall because he was famished and exhausted.  He knew he could find Eloise and Benedict there and if there was anyone who’d know how to find them it would be that pair.

He found them in the drawing room.

Eloise was face first in a book and Benedict was drawing.  He briefly caught sight of it and found it a bit… somber but now wasn’t the time to focus on that.

“What are you doing here?”  Eloise asked.

“I own this home,” Anthony said after a moment. “Besides, I needed rest and reinforcements.  Colin and Penelope have gone missing and my top suspicion is that they’re headed to Scotland.”

Benedict stiffened, struggling to keep his face impassable while Eloise looked alarmed at the news from London.

“You should just let them go,” Benedict said after a moment.

“I’m not planning to stop them,” he said with a sigh. “I’m mostly planning to drag them back home so our mother can murder them for not having the decency to inform someone of their intent as my wedding gift.”

“Coldstream Bridge,” Eloise said after a long moment. “Lady Whistledown mentioned it recently.  She was talking about – well, it was an elopement for a young Earl who fell in love with someone and couldn’t bear to await a special dispensation.”

Benedict was on his feet, grabbing his coast before there could additional discussion of it.  Anthony exchanged a glance with Eloise before shrugging.

“So much for rest,”  he grumbled before following him.

Series this work belongs to:

#bridgerton #benedict bridgerton #eloise bridgerton #penelope featherington #colin bridgerton #⚜ writings — polin

[invisibleinorange]

When you’re home sick and decide you didn’t write enough angst over the weekend.  We all have characters who love to hurt us and apparently I have mine.  

#⚜ musings — scrattered thoughts

[invisibleinorange]

A Different Ending |  6/?

Chapters: 6/? Fandom: Bridgerton Rating: M Warnings:  Only be forewarned that this is an AU from the Adrift saga but Colin actually died in this one, so if he’s mentioned he’s actually gone. Relationships: Benedict Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington, Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington (past feelings),  Eloise Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington(besties),  Bridgerton Family Dynamics,  Daphne Bridgerton/Simon Hastings Characters:  Penelope Featherington, Eloise Bridgerton, Benedict Bridgerton, Daphne Bridgerton, Anthony Bridgerton Additional Tags:  Bridgerton, Penadict (do we have a ship name yet?)

Summary:  There were some requests for an alternate/Parallel word to "Bridgerton's Adrift" where Benedict and Penelope actually did get married. So this is the result of that peer pressure.

It had been a touch mortifying for the entire family to be aware of his private marriage life but at least they weren’t questioning that Penelope was happy anymore. He felt semi-smug in the fact that he’d actually been able to draw that side of Penelope out. He was thankful that in the heat of the moment his brother had been the least of his thoughts.  Based on the fact it had been his name of her lips, he was pretty sure that he hadn’t been on hers either.

It hadn’t just been a satisfactory or okay experience for him either. It had been good; So good in fact that he nearly scandalized his mother by apologizing off shortly after the biscuits were returned, saying that they were tired from their travels and needed to depart so that they could rest. Benedict had very little intent of letting her rest.

While he did take the time to show her the modest space they’d spend the next few months of their marriage while they awaited their forever home to be built, he wasted little time excusing her to their bedroom and stealing her away from the bloody gowns that she’d been tormenting him in for weeks. He spent every single second of the night making up for the fact he’d deflowered her in his mother’s kitchen by exploring every single inch of her flesh multiple times over.

He was somewhere between a nap and worshipping her creamy thighs when the knocking began.  He was bleary eyed, gaze seeing the first hints of sunlight coming in through the curtains.

“Ben,” she murmured.

“They should know better,” he muttered, pressing a delicate kiss there. He sounded half-asleep and gruff. He could very well kill whoever thought this was an appropriate time to call.  “They’ll go away.”

They didn’t go away though and the pounding seemed to get louder, more incessant. He was pretty sure that he heard screaming –

“That’s Anthony,” Penelope said sitting up, concern displayed across her flushed features. “Something’s wrong.”

Benedict hated the fact that she was probably right. Anthony certainly knew better than to come bother him.  He’d teased him after all about married life certainly making him for fun.  He pushed himself up, stumbling a bit to tug on some trousers. He was still tugging a shirt over his head as he opened the door.

Anthony’s hand nearly met his fist.  Once glance at his older brother and he knew something was very wrong and he tried to not let his mind go to worst case scenarios. Something was wrong with Daphne and the baby or maybe it was their mother.  They had a strange scared experience with death and he just knew from the countenance on his face that someone was.

“They found him,” Anthony said sounding shell-shocked.

Benedict nearly the previous last night’s supper at those words, instantly knowing what that meant for his family and for him.  He had to put a hand on the door to keep himself up right.

“Found who?” a voice said from behind him.

Anthony and Benedict exchanged glances before their gaze moved back to Penelope who was wrapped in a robe. This was men’s talk. It wasn’t something that either particularly wanted to drag her into.  Benedict also knew that he couldn’t lie and yet he felt mute.

“Colin,” Anthony said after a long moment, the word shaky.   He’d been presumed dead for months.  Whatever was there probably didn’t resemble Colin at all.  They had gone through all the processes. They’d mourned, they’d gone through the necessary funeral rights and they’d assumed whatever was left of him remain at the bottom of the sea.  They’d been wrong.

Her mouth opened slightly but she didn’t speak at that. The way she curled her arms around herself, stepped away from them made all those fears that had kept Benedict from acting on his growing feelings come racing up to the forefront and there was little he could do about it.

“They need me to identify the – him,” Anthony said trying to keep it together. It was pretty clear that the news hadn’t just arrived. When it had arrived in the night, Benedict couldn’t be sure but he was fairly sure that this unnerved Anthony was what he’d managed to come up with after being armed with several drinks.  He desperately wanted one himself at this point.

It was clear why he was there now. Anthony didn’t have to verbalize it for Benedict to know. He couldn’t go and do that alone.  They’d been through too much when they’d lost their father.  This was a trauma too far for the eldest Bridgerton. Benedict wasn’t sure he could handle this either but there wasn’t much choice in it.

“We’ll go then,” he told him simply.

He silently left Anthony standing there, long enough to find his boots and a jacket.  He quietly gave Penelope a kiss to the top of her head, almost afraid of what the state of his marriage would be when he returned.

In an instant, he was at Anthony’s side and off they went to handle the task no one was interested in.

--

The body had been kept boxed away at the harbor.  They’d been warned that it would be shocking to their systems but they’d been unprepared. Benedict was certain the smell of death was never going to leave his nostrils. Decomposition had already started in on what flesh hadn’t been eaten by sea creatures. Anthony openly retched at the sight and he wasn’t far behind him.

The task was done though. It looked nothing like Colin.  It was mostly skeletal at this point but there was some skin that had been protected by the cold water and the winter months.  They had found a birthmark in some it and that was the thing that they pointed out, to see if it was familiar.  It had been. There was no question who had they had.

Colin, or what remained of him, would be sent to the family tomb without much adieu since everything that could be done had been done.  All this meant was that he could finally be at rest.  Somehow, it didn’t feel like rest though.  It all seemed unfair.

Anthony was in no state to be alone after identifying their brother so they went to the club and shared a few drinks like they always had when they were all bachelors together. Before there had been ABC there had been AB.  Anthony had always been the one who kept it together, lead without fear but Benedict had seen just how vulnerable his brother was.

“When I die, keep it simple,” Anthony told him over. The words were a bit slurred but Benedict knew he meant it.  Anthony had spent the greater part of an hour going over his plans and requests for a day that Benedict prayed to never experience much less soon to occur. Benedict let him.

“We’re planning on going to Aubrey Hall soon,” he had added.  “Mother wants to make sure that I close the deal on a marriage.  I always thought that you and Colin would provide potential heirs to everything so I wouldn’t have to.  Eloise said things weren’t going well – you and Penelope seem to be doing fine though. I worried though-”

Benedict was pretty sure he needed to cut Anthony off now.

“I thought that Eloise said that there was a potential match,” he said choosing to redirect the conversation away from his marriage and his potential to produce a Bridgerton heir all together.  

“Edwina Sheffield,” he announced with none of the enthusiasm that should be anticipated at the prospect of a marriage match.

Benedict half-expected him to go into detail on her finer assets and why she was going to be a great bride but he didn’t.  It wasn’t someone he was familiar with since he’d been away and missed the start of the season.  He could only assume he’d meet his brother’s future bride soon enough.

“You do know that you’re allowed to be happy right?”  Benedict asked after a long moment.  Perhaps, it was something that he should have been willing to hear himself.

Anthony didn’t exactly respond to that.   The brooding only intensified.

It was going to be a long night.

--

Benedict could barely walk straight by the time he departed his brother who said he could find his own way home.  He had a sneaking suspicion he was going to find his way to one of this many flings.  He was so tired he was nearly delirious.

It was dark when he let himself in.  He moved toward his bedroom, prepared to check on his wife before slipping to try and get the stench of death, sex and booze off him.   The sound of Penelope sobbing startled him. The sight of her curled on her side of the bed, clutching her pillow hit him hard.

He kicked off his shoes before climbing in, arms curling around her from behind in hope that he might ease distress. She hadn’t apparently heard him come in through since she froze.

“I’m here,” he told her quietly, prepared to stroke her hair and hold her as long as was necessary to help her be okay again.  He was surprised when it only made her cry all the harder.

It took everything within him to not cry right along with her after the day that he’d had but he knew someone had to keep it together.

“I thought you weren’t going to come back,” she said after a long moment as if he deserved an explanation for it.

He couldn’t help but laugh when she said it. He’d thought she was crying about Colin being found or maybe because she regretted consummating their marriage.  The fact that she thought for a second that he was going to leave and not come back hurt him though.

“I’m sorry,” he said once he caught himself. She was in distress after all and laughing wasn’t the right way to go.  “I’m not leaving you though not as long as it’s within my power.”

“I didn’t mean to react the way I did this morning,” she said as if to offer some explanation. “I saw the look on your face and then it was getting late and I – I didn’t think you were coming back.”

Benedict pressed a kiss into her hair.

“I was worried about you,” he told her. He’d promised to always be honest and he supposed he owed her to be as much.  “I wasn’t sure what today would mean for us.  Not just what Anthony and I had to do but … everything that came before it.  It didn’t change the way I feel about you.”

She turned around slightly at that.  Her eyes were red-rimmed but he was grateful to see that she wasn’t actually still sobbing.

“It didn’t change how I feel about you either,” she told him softly.  There was a pause and a sniff that followed and she made a face.

“Such harsh criticism,” he said with a laugh, pecking at her lips before releasing her and climbing back to his feet. “I’ll be back after my hygiene is back up to your high standards.”

#bridgerton #penelope featherington #benedict bridgerton

[invisibleinorange]

creativity1905

Omg 😍😍😍😍 I let out a giggle that I haven’t heard since I was 15 lol

These fools had me clutching my pearls and then laughing at them.  I’m glad you enjoyed it. 

#⚜ musings — scrattered thoughts #creativity1905

[invisibleinorange]

A Different Ending |  5/?

Chapters: 5/? Fandom: Bridgerton Rating: M Warnings:  Only be forewarned that this is an AU from the Adrift saga but Colin actually died in this one, so if he’s mentioned he’s actually gone. Relationships: Benedict Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington, Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington (past feelings),  Eloise Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington(besties),  Bridgerton Family Dynamics,  Daphne Bridgerton/Simon Hastings Characters:  Penelope Featherington, Eloise Bridgerton, Benedict Bridgerton, Daphne Bridgerton, Additional Tags:  Bridgerton, Penadict (do we have a ship name yet?)

Summary:  There were some requests for an alternate/Parallel word to "Bridgerton's Adrift" where Benedict and Penelope actually did get married. So this is the result of that peer pressure.

Eloise had always been the kind of sister who didn’t hesitate to tell him precisely how it was and apparently Penelope had sought advice on their marriage from her. Benedict couldn’t help but cringe as he read the latest from his sister, addressed strictly to him where she railed on him for mistreatment of her very best friend and sister. It actually hurt his feelings a bit to think that Eloise would question his devotion or loyalty.  It hurt even more to think that Penelope might think that the time he spent away, discussing the construction of their home and dealing with the bank was spent in the arms of some other woman.  

They couldn’t possibly understand where he was coming from with this.  He had kept his promises. He literally wouldn’t have been with another person even if the opportunity presented itself. He didn’t want to be with anyone else either. He couldn’t allow himself to be with Penelope in that way either though. Not yet.  It was illogical but some part of him was afraid that if he let things progress beyond tentative kisses she’d be picturing his brother.  The thought was enough to keep him dodging advances that would have progressed their marriage.

He balled the letter from his sister in his hand, tossing it into a fire and watched it burn before moving from his study down the hall to where he knew he would find Penelope reading.   It took some measure of strength to force down his feelings of inadequacy and keep a level head about him.  They’d been married for weeks at this point and he had thought things were going well.  He didn’t want to inspire another letter from sister or worse his mother.  That would be who came for him next.

“We’re returning to London today,” he said after a moment, using the door frame to hold up himself up. “I feel as though you’ll have more to do there and we’ll be closer to our families.  The construction is set to begin anyways and it’ll mean less time away from you while I monitor the progress.”

She looked up at him, nodded quietly as she closed her book.  Her lips pursed and it was clear that her mind was working over something.  She let out a hint of a sigh, giving him a glance that Benedict could swear was her looking right through him.

“Eloise had no right to meddle,” she said after a long moment confirming his suspicion that she really could read him.  He hadn’t planned to mention the fact he’d just been scolded by his sister but there she was saying it.  “I’m happy with you.  I was just – well, I understand completely that I might have overstepped.”

Benedict shook his head.   Penelope clearly didn’t see everything and a part of him was grateful for it. He wasn’t quite sure he could handle her knowing all his inner workings and feelings, especially if she didn’t return them.  He was a romantic at the end of the day and the unconventional life that he’d always wanted stood before him.  He was absolutely terrified of allowing himself to love her only to find out she didn’t love him back.

“It’s not that at all,” he said pushing himself forward enough so to allow himself to place his hands over hers.  “It’s much more complicated than all of that.”  He didn’t know how to explain it without exposing himself completely though.  Once he spoke his heart, there would be absolutely no walking it back.  “Eloise is just looking out for you.  She know that you’re not fully happy that you’d much rather have been married to –“

Penelope did not let him finish that season.

“Don’t you dare suggest that,” she said in a tone he hadn’t heard before.  Sure, she’d had her moments when he was trying to get her to accept his proposal but she’d never used this angry-hurt tone at him before.  It felt like a punch to the gut.  The fact that Colin had been dead for months now and factored into every little aspect of their lives, even what was distinctly starting to feel like a fight, infuriated him in a way that he felt wrong for feeling at all.

“But we both know it’s true,” Benedict said before he could stop himself. “If Colin hadn’t run away instead of dealing with his feelings, we wouldn’t be right here. You wouldn’t have even remotely considered a proposal from me.”

“You wouldn’t have made one,” she said right back as if it were fact.

Benedict wanted to argue that she wasn’t right but he didn’t know. He couldn’t possibly know if he would eventually grown as close to her as he had even with Colin’s presence.  It didn’t matter when he just knew who she would have chosen.

“I don’t know– that’s not fair,” he said after a long silent moment.

“It’s the truth and we both know it,” she said barely holding back suppressed tears that made him want to draw into a hole. Benedict had not sought to make her cry. The fact she removed her hands from his didn’t help. “You only did this because of pity and because I was the lesser of all the evils your mother would have pushed on you. I’m certainly better than Cressida Cowper but you can barely kiss me.   That’s fine but at least admit it and don’t insult me by suggesting that I’m the one who wouldn’t have chosen you.”

Benedict didn’t care about how he had felt before. The only thing that mattered to him was where he’d ended up and he had wanted to marry her. Not because she was the lesser of a bunch of evils or because he wanted to save her from a cruel world where she there was a solid chance she’d be a spinster.  He had developed feelings and the fact that they’d spent nearly every waking moment together for weeks until he panicked because it was becoming too real.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured.

He wanted to pull her close and tell her the truth but he just shook his head, left her alone in their room.  He wasn’t normally the sort of violence but he needed to scream, to break something and if he didn’t leave now he was going to do it in front of her. He wasn’t even mad at her. He was mad at himself and his grief and resentment over his brother was pulling out needing release.

--

Things weren’t okay. That much was clear in the fact that she wouldn’t look at him and barely spoke to him in their travels back to London.  They’d never had a true fight before and he didn’t like it one bit.  It felt like there was a crater between them. There was going to be no hiding it away until he figured out how to fix it either.

His mother had all but insisted that they join the family for dinner when that night instead of sorting it out at his former bachelor pad.  Truth be told he didn’t have much of an appetite, especially since he knew he was going to be raked over the coals by the females of the household. He felt certain that they’d pick up on the fact Penelope was keeping him at arm’s length.

They didn’t though. It was kind of funny how he braced himself to be attacked for being the worst husband in the history of the Ton only to have Penelope put on the performance of the lifetime.  He watched waiting for a crack between the friendly catch up with Eloise and the stories of unsuitable suitors that his mother had attempted to introduce combined with the stories of eligible women practically throwing themselves at Anthony who apparently had decided to court someone.

After dinner when everyone was winding down with their drinks or desserts, he felt his breath catch when his mother casually suggested that she could certainly go for another round of knotted orange biscuits from the kitchen and Penelope said she’d do it.  All eyes immediately went on him and he knew what the suggestion was.

“I’ll come help,” he said following behind her dutifully.

He trailed behind her until they were in the abandoned kitchens. The staff always left plenty of extras to be had just in case someone desired a late night snack.  There was usually someone trying to find an extra nibble of sweets into the late night hour.

“Grab a plate then,” she said sneaking the first four words directly to him since their little argument earlier in the day.

He dutifully grabbed one and watched as she grabbed enough biscuits for the whole crew of present Bridgertons to snack on.  He then moved behind to attempt to grab it from her but when she turned around, there he was and there wasn’t that much space between them and the counter.

In her surprise at the proximity, the plate of biscuits went spiraling to the floor. The fine porcelain shattered into a million pieces, causing quite a clattered.  Their eyes locked and Benedict knew he was done for right then and there.  He couldn’t even remember how or why they’d fought to begin with. All he knew was that his hands were on her hips, pulling her up to sit on a counter as if it was nothing and his mouth was on hers in seconds.

He knew that things were going to be alright when she was returning the kiss, legs wrapping around him to pull him closer.  Her hands clutched into made quick work of removing his jacket and he didn’t exactly stop her, especially when his own need felt so urgent.

Benedict really hoped that no one was foolish enough to come see what had delayed them because it wouldn’t end pleasant.

“I’m sorry,” he managed against her lips.  He wasn’t sure if he was sorry for the fact they’d fought or the fact that he was definitely going to be having his wife in the family kitchen while his family sat wondering what was keeping the biscuits.  He’d certainly imagined that when and if this did happen, he’d take his time with her but there would be other times for that.

Penelope wasn’t exactly dissuading this course of action either, especially not when she was clearly pushing at his suspenders and tugging his shirt loose of his trousers. No, it only encouraged him to push the various layers of fabric that made up her dress until he found some skin and then welcoming warmth that he hardly stopped himself from exploring with his hands.

The sound that came out of Penelope at the introduction of a single digit nearly made him come undone. Even if it was muffled against his mouth, he was fairly sure that that if there was anyone in proximity to the kitchens they’d have heard it. He’d never quite noticed the echo of the room before.  He wasn’t quite coherent enough to think when was so warm and tight there.

His older hand found hers, leading it to the buttons of his trousers.  He could certainly do it himself but she’d been doing a decent enough job of leading him down this path so she might as well be responsible for getting them the rest of the way.  He openly groaned when he felt the fabric give away and the cold air touch him and her hand curl around him like she almost knew what she was going.  Yeah, he definitely wasn’t going to last long.  

“I’ll stop if it hurts,” he murmured against her lips, moving to her neck for a moment as he removed his hand and used his other hand to position himself.  He forced himself to take it slow, mindful that she wasn’t as experienced as him and she was his wife.  He did actually want to think about her pleasure and not just his own.

“Don’t you dare,”  Penelope warned him and he couldn’t help but laugh, especially when he pushed the rest of the way and she let out a noise so loud that he could only prayer the rest of the family didn’t hear.  For now, he was going to have to muffle her mouth with his own.

One hand was set gripped firmly at her hip the other, the other moved between them touching her as he if his life depended on bringing her over the edge with him.  If their first time together was to be frantic and quick, he still felt obligated to make sure it was good for her. The urgent way her name had taken to her lips made it clear he was succeeding at that.

When he felt her stiffen against him, her hands clutching him slightly that was all he needed to let go himself his hips jutting several more before his release. The tension he’d been feeling melted away.  He found himself smiling despite himself and he leaned it to press less needy kiss against her lips then her forehead.

“We’re going to be okay, yeah?” he asked breathlessly.

“I hope so,” she told him honestly.

He decided to help her down to reconfigure her clothing, mindful of the broken porcelain before he decided to try his luck for a round tree.  He sheepishly pieced himself back together after cleaning himself up.    What a mess they’d made.

Aside from a few lose curls, Penelope looked shockingly less suspicious than him, especially when she took to cleaning up the mess of biscuits and broken pieces with a broom.  He helped her maneuver it to the bin before they could wash their hands.

They grabbed another plate, refilled it with what was left of untarnished biscuits.  Benedict tried to keep a straight face as they entered back to the family after an inappropriately long trip the kitchen.

“I hope we didn’t keep you waiting too long,” Penelope said in her kindest voice toward Violet as she set them down.

The fact that literally no one in the room could meet their eye made it clear they knew what the delay had been.  Benedict wasn’t sure who was more pink him or his wife.

“Newlyweds,” Hyacinth said making a face.

That only served to set off a chain of laughter.

#tw: nsfw #benedict bridgerton #penelope featherington #bridgerton