insomniamademedothis

[insomniamademedothis]

First time back in a gay club after months, didn’t realise how badly I needed it, to be trying to peer over three men hesitantly initiating a three way to watch an ironic drag performance to jojo siwas newest song on stage. Singing happy birthday with the crowd to another drag queens’ mum. It has reset me I am myself again.

#this is why I’m sceptical of all the blogs on here denying even wanting to ever try clubs. you get weird when the world restricts its #view of normality around you. the real world is happening and it’s happening in gay clubs #I saw the three guys a few hours later btw it seemed to be going well for them. I was pleased it’s just a matter of: if you’re tall and #there’s three of you and you’re preoccupied you canNOT be at the front of the crowd #or at least make sure there aren’t short dykes behind you

[insomniamademedothis]

Something about a pre-mixed tin. I always think they’re a waste because they’re comparatively so little alcohol compared to what I’d pour myself. But then they’re so cheap that I’ll grab a few. And then I swear they put aphrodisiacs in these. They move like nothing else.

#or I’m just an incredible light weight these days I actually hardly drink lately #wait except last night #And that barely touched me #see proving my point #okay I’ll stop drunking up tumblr soon I’m going out ✌️

[insomniamademedothis]

randomly remembering the time in 2012 when everyone kept saying the world was going to end at midday that day and like, i didnt really believe it, but i didnt want to be a complete fool if i was wrong, so i excused myself from class to go sit the field and perfectly timed the beat drop to a skrillex song just in case something happened. and im just. retroactively amused by the idea of ushering in the appocalypse with skrillex. most 2012 thing you could possibly do.

[insomniamademedothis]

at least there are pansies and fairies and faggots and dykes and transsexuals on this earth. thank god.

[insomniamademedothis]

Quiet Quitting is when you're not doing anything wrong but the vibes are off

[insomniamademedothis]

when lady gaga was like i want your love and i want your revenge.. i want your love I DONT WANNA BE FRIENDS

[insomniamademedothis]

Since the OP made their post unrebloggable (and blocked me. Both actions they are well in with their right to do)

I'm going to make my response it's own post because I think the point is important

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As someone who is autistic and has BPD and CPTSD and loads of trauma yes you sometimes need to change how you interact with others to keep people around

When I was 13 I hit the few friends I had when I was angry

I had to change that in order to keep those friendships

When I was in my early 20s if I was losing an disagreement with my husband I would threaten to kill myself. My husband told me it hurt him and was cruel and manipulative behaviour, because it was.

So I worked hard to change that to keep my relationship

It's easy to say "I shouldn't have to change for others" and that's true to an extent. You shouldn't change your interests or passions or dim your light. And you should have space to be imperfect and flawed and not have to pretend your ugly bits aren't real. But if something you are doing it causing other people harm you kinda need to change that.

That's called "living in a society"

People adapt to each other and make space for each other in their lives. You adapt to them and they adapt to you

You start being more diligent about throwing away the empty toilet roll because it really bothers them. They start warning you before they run the blender because you hate loud noises

I stopped threatening to kill myself because I was mad I was losing an argument and my husband stopped being so vocally judgemental amount media he personally dislikes

There is a certain type of person who heard the phrase "your emotions are valid" and took that to mean "my emotional reactions and my behaviour are always objectively correct because my emotions are valid and if you have an emotional response or react to what I'm doing negatively then you are wrong and you can't be hurt because my emotions are valid"

And that's a recipe for disaster

Your emotions are valid to feel. They are how you feel and there are reasons you feel the way you do

However, your reactions and behaviour are something you can learn to control and can be irrational

We live in a society and we as people change each other as we interact and that isn't necessarily a bad thing

[insomniamademedothis]

[insomniamademedothis]

You know that idealized version of yourself that haunts you with guilt about what you haven't yet become?

They didn't show up.

They don't deserve your praise.

The you who is reading this made it here, despite everything.

This you is the garden worthy of your love and effort.

[insomniamademedothis]

i hate you shein. i hate you wish. i hate you temu. i hate you aliexpress. i hate you fast fashion. i hate you consumerism. i hate you planned obsolescence. i hate you plastics.

[insomniamademedothis]

#no joke one of those kids could be me

[insomniamademedothis]

nyt thought i was getting too good at the word games and decided to try distracting me by making me so horny i forget how to read

[insomniamademedothis]

My favorite kind of “I was cancelled” celebrity tour is when it’s part of the press tour for their newest Netflix comedy special for which they were paid millions of dollars

[insomniamademedothis]

just to reiterate: intentionally targeting hospitals is a WAR CRIME and a TERRORIST ACTION

[insomniamademedothis]

maybe you could fix him, but I personally, don't intend to. i want to see him baring his teeth while covered in blood

[insomniamademedothis]

crazy that all those 13 year old girls clocked dan and phil so hard. like mustve been intensely fucked up and invasive etc etc but so crazy that 13 year old girls worldwide were like those men are secretly gayandinlove and they literally were

[insomniamademedothis]

i hate when i send someone a meme in another language and they're like "uhm... translate? 😒" fucker i sent you a meme where 90% of the words have an english cognate and/or you don't need to know what they're saying to find it funny. can you at least TRY