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Buzz: Oh look, it's a package from Woody.
Jessie: It's heavy, what's in it?
Forky: It must be his disappointment in me.
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Jessie: If Buzz and Woody were drowning and you could only save one, who would you save?
Mr Potato Head: My energy
Jessie: Idk what else I was expecting
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Rex: hey hamm
Hamm: yeah?
Rex: how so you spell orange?
Hamm: o-r-
Rex: the fruit btw not the colour
Hamm: oh, okay uh...
Woody: really???
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"You call it a near death experience, I call it a vibe check from God."
- Jessie
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Jessie: Bullseye threw this note at me. It reads "please dont pronounce 'hors d'oeuvres' as 'horse divorce' ever again."
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Jessie is the best!!! ❤️🌼
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Jessie: holy shit!
Woody: don't swear in front of the preschool toys
Jessie: mama mia that's a spicy meatball
Woody: nevermind just say fuck
(Source: tumblr)
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Slinky: You lost a lot of blood and passed out. Do you remember anything?
Hamm: I remember the ambulance ride to the hospital.
Woody: That wasnt an ambulance, I drove us.
Hamm: But I heard a siren.
Slinky: That was Rex.
Rex: Sorry! I was nervous!
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Rex: You better stop raising your voice at me RIGHT now
Woody: Or what??
Rex: I'll... I'll cry and I really dont want to be embarrassed right now.
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Dolly: I dont have time for this.
Buttercup, *stuck in a chair*: for what?
Dolly:
Buttercup:
Dolly: *walks away*
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Woody: You three explain yourselves!
Rex: It was Potato Head
Buttercup: It was Potato Head
Jessie: It was Potato Head
Mr Potato Head:
Mr Potato Head: Damn
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Slinky: I'm going to need you to calm down.
Buttercup: *slams fist on the table* BUT HOW CAN IT BE BIRTHDAY CAKE FLAVOURED IF BIRTHDAY CAKES CAN BE ANY FLAVOUR
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Mr Potato Head: Hannah Montana said nobody is perfecr
Mr Potato Head: But here I am
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Woody: Did you just refer to a knife as a "people opener"?
Jessie: Should I not have?
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Woody: Please, please... After everything we've been through...
Buzz: I'm sorry, Woody...
Woody [through tears]: I'm begging you, don't do it.
Buzz: It has to be done...
Woody:
Buzz:
Woody:
Buzz: *places 4+ card*
Buzz [tearfully]: Uno.
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Buttercup: My aesthetic is the kid on the playground who told all the other kids Ring Around the Rosie was about the black plague.
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Woody: adding "lmao" doesn't hide your pain
Forky: yes it does lmao
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