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*During a game of Hangman*

Harry: Nope, there’s no Q. You lose.

Niall: Are you kidding me?! You can still add something!

Harry: I already added a belt, four earrings and an extra arm! YOU LOSE!

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Louis: I have one foot in the grave but in a kind of fun flirty way, the way one might slip on a fishnet stocking.

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Niall: *Gasp*

Liam: What?

Niall: What if soy milk is just milk introducing itself in Spanish?

Liam: *inhales*

Zayn, in another room with Harry: Why can I hear screeching?

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*Harry and Zayn are in a car teetering on the edge of a cliff*

Harry: Oh my god, Zayn, go backwards!

Zayn: Really, Harry? I thought I might go forwards into the river, I thought that would be a fun thing to do.

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Liam: Why is Paul making me do the dishes again? You haven’t washed them in a week, Zayn!

Zayn: It’s because I’m Paul’s favorite.

Liam: I hate you.

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Louis: Harry told me that brown is just navy orange, and I have never been more disappointed with something I agree with.

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Harry: That’s the key slice of truth we need to complete the entire truth pie.

Niall: Ooh, can we get some actual pie?

Harry: I like the way you think.

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Louis: Hello, McDonald's, I would like to purchase 130 chicken nuggets. Prepare yourselves.

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Harry: ...This is one of those moments where it doesn't really matter what I have to say, isn't it?

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Zayn: Wow you and Harry are home early from the movies. What happened?

Niall: We got kicked out because Harry wouldn't stop yelling diving scores as people jumped off the titanic.

Harry: That last guy had a solid 8, I'm telling you!

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Liam: Zayn is not a morning person. Or a night person. There’s really only about seven minutes a day you are fun to be around.

Zayn: The best part is you never know when they’re coming.

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Niall, walking into Louis and Harry’s bedroom in the middle of the night: I had a bad dream.

Harry: What was it about?

Louis: No, don’t ask him that!

Harry: Why not?

Louis: Cause he’ll answer!

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Niall, texting Louis: Louis there’s a moth on the outside of the bathroom door can you get rid of it?

Niall: Pls hurry because I’m going to cry

Niall: Louis

Niall: Louis

Louis: Louis is dead. You’re next. Love, Moth.

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Harry: When I met you I thought you were a real bitch.

Zayn: What changed your mind?

Harry: Oh, I still think you’re a bitch, I’ve just grown to like that about you.

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Liam: Come to dinner tonight. I can’t cook, but I’ll bring plenty of free wine.

Zayn: Marry me.

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Zayn: Pick a card, any card.

Louis: Fine.

Zayn: Wait, that's my credit card!

Louis: You said any card.

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Harry, to Louis: You wanna fight? All right, let’s take this outside. The stars are so bright tonight and the moon looks so nice. Here, hold my hand—