–Hazel to Killian
tiramisu am i right
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Do not blame me for who I am. The doctor prescribed me 20 mL of #magiford twice a day.
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Baby Aphrodite
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Evariste: Blood loss? No I know exactly where it is
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Chloe: You remind me of the ocean.
Paragon: Because I'm deep and mysterious?
Chloe: No, because you're full of salt and you scare people.
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Pip: How many vampires do you think have been hit by a car backing up in a parking lot because the driver couldn’t see their reflection?
Grayson: I’ve never considered it but you’re really shining light on what’s probably a very serious issue.
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Killian : Are you busy?
Hazel: No.
Killian : Want to do something?
Hazel: Why would you try to ruin this for me?
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Josh: Surgery is basically just stabbing someone to life.
Rupert: Please never become a surgeon.
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The Paragon: As your best friend-
Killian: you’re not my best friend.
Paragon: AS YOUR BEST FRIEND
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Killian: Why dont we start a fire, pull the fire alarm and get everyone out of here?
Hazel: Or we could just pull the fire alarm?
Killian: Without a fire? Thats illegal! Do you want me to get in trouble?
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The Pargon: You should change your passwords to “incorrect”. Then, every time you forget it, the system will remind you, “your password is incorrect”.
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Hazel: I am convinced Momoko and Felix share a brain cell.
Killian: And it's not in use very often, it seems.
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Hazel: Of course we’re in love. That’s why I tried to shoot you.
Killian: If we were really in love, you wouldn't have missed.
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Rupert: Every talk I have with you people gets more and more absurd!
Great-aunt Marianne: You say 'you people' as if you're not a part of the group. Well, I've got news for you, bud- you're already on the Christmas card.
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[bank drive-thru window]
Felix, in an Italian accent: I'd a like-a to make-a the deposit.
Bank teller: HEY BUDDY I REMEMBER YOU.
Felix: *frantically pours marinara sauce into the vacuum tube*
Bank teller: DANGIT IT'S HIM AGAIN!
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Paragon: Fae can always understand the inner voice of our best friends!
Paragon: So I can always hear your "I love you," Killian. I love you too <333
Killian: How about you go to an ear clinic.
Credit to @lemonduckisnowawake
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Leila: So what is it you do?
Rigel: I kill people
Leila: Like…. legally?
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