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me comforting a friend:

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one screw to make, one screw up to take

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no one is keeping track of sacrifices you make so if you make them do so without expectations. feeling entitled to a return that isn’t guaranteed isn’t healthy and will hurt you

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Who is responsible for this I want answers

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Today in the park I was walking my dog and there was this other girl walking her poodle. She was really pretty and very very nice. Our dogs played for a little while. And then her poodle squatted and pooped, and when she leaned down to pick it up a dude started yelling obscenities about how he’d like to put his dick in her ass.

She got up and literally threw the bag of warm poop at him.

It hit him in the face.

I got to witness that. This might be the best day of my life. 

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How I feel about adulthood

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I call my girlfriend “b” and most people think its short for baby or babe but its actually short for bro

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You’re either lucky or screwed. #illustration #mermaids

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mailman: *tries to put mail in my doors mail slot*

me: *shoves my sword through and goes for the knees*

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Naps 🛌

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i can’t wait til 50 years from now when there’s gonna be grandmas with china cabinets full of anime figures

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This is for the times you went through hell so someone else wouldn’t have to

Andrea Gibson, Say Yes (via hisshissmotherfxcker)

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how is this 6 seconds