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song released in 2008 with a comment on it reading "who else is listening to this banger in 2011? Music isn't the same these days"

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one time I had a dream that I unlocked a secret never-before-discovered achievement in Disco Elysium by squeezing into various nooks and crannies and got a special copotype called “Crevice Cop: seek out and inhabit crevices like some kind of man-spider” and I thought yeah!!! man-spider!!! crevice cop!!! this game GETS me!!!

and then I woke up to find that I had fallen partially down into the gap between my partner’s bed and the wall and was horrifically contorted and in agonizing bodily pain from sleeping in a position only comfortable to a brown recluse

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I can't be autistic bc I'm actually great at understanding social cues!

[Cut to my POV, a Terminator-style overlay analyzing word choice and body language while over everyone's head a bar labeled Are They Mad At Me shows varying levels]

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My favorite headlines from The God Damn News, as featured on engineering disaster podcast Well There’s Your Problem 

part two of two

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Híradó cameraman Péter Kiss, 1977. From the Budapest Municipal Photography Company archive.

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Tshirt idea I had

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No one ever tell me anything bad about the person who runs this account.

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dominatrix paul revere the british arent coming until I say so. paul revere orgasm denial the british arent coming. paul

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i must not stir the pot. stirring the pot is the notifications-killer. participation in the discourse is the little-death that brings total activity obliteration. i will face the bad opinions on the internet. i will permit them to pass over me and through me. and when they have gone past, i will turn the block button onto their source. where the discourse has come from there will be nothing. only i will remain.

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Can I be controversial for one sec

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has anyone ever tried putting raw eggs in the detergent slot on the washing machine and olive oil in the fabric softener slot to make clothes mayonnaise

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https://x.com/tommchenry/status/1428891618770407428/

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If Pikachu were real, it would not be a very pleasant animal. An enormous mouse that shocks you like an electric eel. I would run from these beasts

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free him

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having a king bed sounds scary what if you try to put the fitted sheet on and get lost in there and die like a caver