im-a-wizard-dammit

[im-a-wizard-dammit]

DM: Corl’ssss gonna hit a bitch…

Grommock PC: Whack

DM: *rolls 23* Whack. That hits. *rolls 20* Thwack, that hits. *rolls 16* Smack, that hits—actually that misses.

#corl is back!!! #dnd quote #the dm themself #grommock the green #corl nadare #into the underdark

[im-a-wizard-dammit]

Medici: Jim, would you like to go hug the mysterious floating crystal?

Jim: Well, you see…

#dnd quote #fouquet medici #jim caneson #into the underdark #wild magic was sure fun

[im-a-wizard-dammit]

DM: It starts to get more humid.

Medici: Yay!

Grommock: We’re heading towards a volcano.

Medici: Noooo!

Aspen: Less yay!

#dnd quote #it was not in fact a volcano #fouquet medici #grommock the green #aspen blackthorn #into the underdark

[im-a-wizard-dammit]

Corl: I found a shape-shifting…. shape.

Jim: Don’t touch it!

Corl: Too late!

Jim: Oh. Okay. Thanks for starting the fifth apocalypse we have to deal with.

#dnd quote #jim caneson #corl nadare #is a rubix cube! #sort of

[im-a-wizard-dammit]

Grommock: Medici was there anything in the hole?

Medici: Yeah, a big fucking spider.

Grommock: Yeah, and the stuff we were throwing at it. Did you see anything else?

Medici: No, I was too busy trying to not get killed by the giant fucking spider!

#dnd quote #it's a good reason!!! #fouquet medici #grommock the green #into the underdark

[im-a-wizard-dammit]

Grommock: Is it poisonous?

DM: Are you eating some?

Grommock: No! Is it poisonous? I rolled a 23!

#dnd quote #the dm themself #jim caneson #23 on a nature check should do it! #into the underdark

[im-a-wizard-dammit]

"This is the art-deco warforged."

--Jim PC

#dnd quote #jim caneson #into the underdark

[im-a-wizard-dammit]

W.A.T.T.S.: Why is there a couatl around me?

Grommock: It’s not real.

Medici: It was giving you a hug!

W.A.T.T.S.: … There there… this is not a real couatl.

#dnd quote #fouquet medici #grommock the green #into the underdark #w.a.t.t.s.

[im-a-wizard-dammit]

Grommock PC: I love that the Artificer was trying to fix the robot, and the Barbarian just says, “Hey robot. Can you fix yourself?”

#and it worked!! #dnd quote #grommock the green #w.a.t.s.

[im-a-wizard-dammit]

Aspen: Corl, any sudden movements, and you need to be ready to restrain him.

Corl, on 2HP: … Hnngg

Medici: Aspen… Aspen…

#dnd quote #fouquet medici #aspen blackthorn #corl nadare #into the underdark #he was not doing so hot

[im-a-wizard-dammit]

Metal Man: I am W.A.T.S.

Medici: Are you WATS because people tell you WAT are you doing all day??? Because WAT ARE YOU DOING???

W.A.T.S.: I am the Warrior Acclimated to Treatment and Stabilization.

#new friend! #dnd quote #fouquet medici #w.a.t.s.

[im-a-wizard-dammit]

Aspen: Do I know what a robot is?

DM: No.

#dnd quote #the dm themself #aspen blackthorn #into the underdark

[im-a-wizard-dammit]

Laina PC: My new character idea in two words: Stephen Universe. So we can have an actual healer.

Medici PC: I’m trying!!! I’m trying!! I have paladin levels I swear!!

#dnd quote #fouquet medici #laina rabbit #into the underdark #again!!! laina is not dead!!! #she might have come back sliiiightly wrong tho

[im-a-wizard-dammit]

Mysterious Metal Man: Hello. How can I be of service?

Laina PC: THREEPIO???

#dnd quote #into the underdark #laina rabbit #nooootttt quite threepio

[im-a-wizard-dammit]

DM: Grommock, back in the world of chaos, are you shoving the potion of revivify down Laina’s throat?

Grommock: …Yes. I’ll pour some on her wounds, I’ll try to get it everywhere. Soak her whole body in it.

Medici PC: She’s small enough, it’ll work.

#dnd quote #the dm themself #fouquet medici #grommock the green #into the underdark #she's mostly okay!

[im-a-wizard-dammit]

Grommock: I will loot Laina’s dead body.

Laina PC: Glad to finally be of assistance.

#dnd quote #grommock the green #laina rabbit #into the underdark #yeaahhhhh.... i would say rip laina but she didn't stay dead very long

[im-a-wizard-dammit]

Medici PC: From the bottom of the hole, you hear, "SHE JUST TRIED TO SHIT ON ME!"

#dnd quote #fouquet medici #he was not having a great time #into the underdark