ilybutilovememore

[ilybutilovememore]

Best books you've read written by women? I hate reading stuff written by men lately...

Fiction(ish)

The Memory Police, Yoko Ogawa

A Ghost in the Throat, Doireann Ní Ghríofa

Paris, When It's Naked, Etel Adnan

Dept. of Speculation, Jenny Offill

My Sister, The Serial Killer, Oyinkan Braithwaite

Possession, A.S. Byatt

Cat's Eye, Margaret Atwood

The Tenderness of Wolves, Stef Penney

The Doll's Alphabet, Camilla Grudova

Her Body and Other Parties, Carmen Maria Machado

The People in the Room, Norah Lange

Água Viva, Clarice Lispector

Collected Stories, Clarice Lispector

The Empty Book, Josefina Vicens

Four Bare Legs in a Bed, Helen Simpson

The Thirteenth Tale, Diane Setterfield

A Tale for the Time Being, Ruth Ozeki

A Girl is a Half-Formed Thing, Eimear McBride

The God of Small Things, Arundhati Roy

Autobiography of Red, Anne Carson

White Teeth, Zadie Smith

Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte

The Waves and Mrs Dalloway, Virginia Woolf

Non-Fiction:

Second-hand Time: The Last of the Soviets, Svetlana Alexievich

A Field Guide to Getting Lost, Rebecca Solnit

Bluets, Maggie Nelson

Living, Thinking, Looking, Siri Hustvedt

Feel Free: Essays, Zadie Smith

The Need for Roots, Simone Weil

Family Lexicon, Natalia Ginzburg

An Inventory of Losses, Judith Schalansky

Persepolis, Marjane Satrapi

Little Weirds, Jenny Slate

Braiding Sweetgrass, Robin Wall Kimmerer

Women Who Run with Wolves, Clarissa Pinkola Estés

Journal of a Solitude, May Sarton

Poetry:

The War Works Hard, Dunya Mikhail

Barefoot Souls and A Red Cherry on a White-Tiled Floor, Maram al-Masri

Tell Me and Wild Nights, Kim Addonizio

What the Living Do, Marie Howe

What We Carry, Dorianne Laux

Extracting the Stone of Madness, Alejandra Pizarnik

Poppies in Translation, Sujata Bhatt

The Neverfield: A Poem, Nathalie Handal

Women of the Fertile Crescent: An Anthology of Modern Poetry by Arab Women

View with a Grain of Sand, Wislawa Szymborska

The Black Unicorn, Audre Lorde

[ilybutilovememore]

Imagine degrading yourself like this 😖 get off the table stupid

[ilybutilovememore]

We need more stories with no men in them. There are certainly enough, more than enough, with no women. To have more stories where the only characters are women would be filling a deficit. More about men is just feeding a grossly overbloated ego

[ilybutilovememore]

here's a fake interview about my me & my girlfriend that i transcribed from my head. enjoy!

[ilybutilovememore]

Wow! What a womanly thing to say! Real women definitely threaten people who don't entertain their delusions with violence and flaunt the fact that they were once a man, which is absolutely possible. And it's not like the entire point of transgenderism is to separate oneself from their biological sex or anything like that. If you're MTF you're totally allowed to stay intact with your male self and mention as often as possible that you still have male characteristics and could use them to hurt someone who doesn't agree with you. I suppose it really is us "cis" women who aren't acting womanly enough. 🥺

[ilybutilovememore]

This is disgustingly offensive, and their “explanation” is even worse.

Women being killed for dressing like men, for behaving like men—aka having agency, making decisions, leading others, wearing pants—is the definition of sexism.

She was killed because she was female and acted in ways that men didn’t want to her act.

[ilybutilovememore]

It annoys me so much that bangs are associated with terfs. Look at Audrey Hepburn

Most iconic brunette with bangs who definitely hated the nazis.

Sometimes bangs are just flattering on a person's face and those terfs can suck my dick/tit.... So tiresome.

[ilybutilovememore]

there is something so gross and manipulative about transphobia being the only type of bigotry/hatred that is never acceptable under any circumstance.

On twitter, people treat misogyny as a cool personality trait/funny punch line and any actual instances misogyny isn't worth talking about because TiMs are going through a LiTeRaL gEnOcIdE. They treat racism as bad until said person of color does something the hive mind doesn't approve of then racial slurs are fair game and "they should've kept their mouth shut!" Homophobia, like misogyny, is a punch line and nobodies homophobic unless theyre a "cishet rich white male prolife republican whos a gemini rising and wears crew cut socks!!1!!1" so they can wash their hands of any guilt because they don't want to acknowledge the fact that they are homophobic too.

But god forbid you say anything even slightly "transphobic"

[ilybutilovememore]

Vulva art is terfy, uterus art is terfy and now breast art is terfy. We really can't celebrate any part of our body without some man calling it terfy.

[ilybutilovememore]

On October 23, 1915, twenty-thousand suffragists marched on Fifth Avenue in New York City demanding the right to vote.

In the photo there is Komako Kimura (1887-1980), a prominent Japanese suffragist, who arrived from Japan to help out her sisters in America and joined in the parade.

Kimura came from a traditional Japanese family, who had arranged a marriage for her when she was 14 years old to a man she had never seen. Like many women in Japan during that time, she was expected to obey the traditional customs. She was expected to be obedient, she was expected to follow the same traditions that generations of her forebears had followed before her.

But, on the way to the marriage ceremony, Kimura had other thoughts. She would slip out of the carriage and go into hiding. She sold her wedding finery and bought a ticket to another city. There, she would make a name for herself as a dancer.

She then again defied Japanese convention by eloping with a young doctor. She would become a writer, publishing a novel, then edited a woman's magazine in Tokyo, called Shin Shin Fujin, the first publication in Japan of its kind asserting women's rights. It would be so controversial that the magazine would be suppressed.

The conservative government of Japan then started watching her and would refuse her to hold suffrage meetings in the streets of Tokyo.

She would also become a well-known actress in her country who would take on daring roles. Again, the government would step in, telling her that she needed to stick with nice and mild roles befitting of women at that time.

She responded to that edict by opening her theater to the public without fee. She would be arrested and put on trial. The government, however, never knew what they were truly dealing with: Kimura would defend herself, providing arguments that were so well thought out that her trial would receive much publicity. Because of her, the word "suffrage", previously unspoken before in Japan, would be carried into the remotest districts of the empire.

[ilybutilovememore]

lmao

[ilybutilovememore]

Coworker with the tim brother - Tim apparently took NOT ONLY the family dog’s name as his first name (female dog), but his mom’s and sister’s middle name as his own. Like took the names of every female in the house he grew up in.

[ilybutilovememore]

Hi! I saw your comment about “new radfems” not reading radfem theory and I was wondering if you could list some resources or tell me where to find some? I’ve only recently started to read radfem blogs and I really want to get into it more, and not just read posts about it. Thank you so much, I appreciate your blog!

Hey! I'm really glad you want to do your research, it is heartwarming to know the newbies out there actually want to study the theory.

I think The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir is probably one of the most important and complete books in the path to understanding Radical Feminism. It is also super long and daunting, so while I do think it should be a read-in-progress for all of us, I think it's important to have more "beginner friendly" books, in order to avoid burn out. [link to pdf]

I've been into radical feminism since 2017 now, and I'm not a great reader, so for those of us who find it hard to focus for too long, I think Andrea Dworkin is also a good place to start. Her books are filled with rage – and important analysis. I find her language easier to keep up with, more approachable if you will. Woman Hating was my first [pdf]. You can find all of her other works [here] as well.

The book that made me want to really read more and get educated is honestly A Politically Incorrect Feminist: Creating a Movement with Bitches, Lunatics, Dykes, Prodigies, Warriors, and Wonder Women, by Phyllis Chesler. It's an autobiography, and gives some great insight on what it was like to be involved directly in the Second Wave, and also why sisterhood is powerful and needed, but also not easy to achieve. It gave me hope, and helped me to see radical feminism in a new refreshed light. You can get the audiobook for free as an [Audible trial].

[Radfem.org] has some other books handy as well

And [here] is a post with some other feminist books.

My current to-read list, as offered by a dear friend who's been involved with radical feminism for the past 10+ years, is as follows:

> The Second Sex - Simone de Beauvoir (a current read-in-progress for me)

> Lesbian Nation - Jill Johnston [borrow]

> For Lesbians Only: A Separatist Anthology - Sarah Lucia Hoagland, Julia Penelope [borrow]

> Sappho was a Right-on Woman: A Liberated View of Lesbianism [borrow]

> The Lesbian Revolution: Lesbian Feminism in the UK 1970-1990 - Sheila Jeffreys

> The Wanderground - Sally Miller Gearhart [borrow]

> Woman Hating - Andrea Dworkin

> Intercourse - Andrea Dworkin [pdf]

> SCUM Manifesto - Valerie Solanas [pdf]

> Lesbian origins - Susan Cavin [borrow]

> Sisterhood is Powerful - Robin Morgan [pdf]

> Like There's No Tomorrow - Carolyn Cage [pdf]

> The Lesbian Heresy: A Feminist Perspective on the Lesbian Sexual Revolution - Sheila Jeffrey [pdf]

> Gyn/Ecology - Mary Daly [pdf]

Okay so now I flooded you with reading material... What next? How do you even get started, how do you tackle this?

I think first of all it's really important to find community. There are discord servers out there for radical feminists and gender critical women, communities which are open to you, and were made for women just like you. Surround yourself with women, build yourself up with them. Don't just say your politics are woman centric, but actually make your life woman centric. And read up. Study. Trade notes, ask questions, question... Everything. Be critical. Not just of your past beliefs, but of this new information. Where is it coming from? Who wrote it? What do they gain from it? Who loses if they win?

Be aware that radical feminism is a political movement. It can be heavy. Unfortunately, we deal with the knowledge that the world is ugly, especially ugly towards women. Part of radical feminism is addressing borrow such as human trafficking, pedophilia, incest, and the likes. Have positive things to balance this out, take breaks, take your time. Work against overwhelming yourself. You can do this.

Apply the same kindness you'd offer other women to yourself, and treat yourself with respect. Reach out! To me, to others. We're here for you. We have space for you. We'll make time, we'll try our best. I just spent an hour finding these links for you. Not because you owe me anything, or vice versa. But because I care that you have a good experience of it. We are stronger together.

Anyway, take care. Good luck!

[ilybutilovememore]

i’m so relieved i got out of rowing before tras tried to let men into women’s sports.

i participated competitively for four years, and even managed to bring home some medals from certain regattas. but one thing that every girl who rowed with me had in common was resentment towards the male group of athletes our age. because what tras don’t seem to understand is that men will always be physically stronger then us. i don’t mean this in a “women are weak 😐” kind of way, but as a response to the proof i saw at every. single. rowing. practice.

a boy who has never practiced on a rowing machine can pull a faster 2km test then the girl who is top of the league. it doesn’t matter how old this hypothetical boy is, cause he’ll — i’ve seen a 13 year old male outpace and then laugh at girls who lose or fall behind in co-ed races. while the girls boats and teams had better technique in the boat or on land, a boat full of males always won no matter what. this is fact, and it cannot be ignored.

tras need to understand that sports are not something that can be compromised for dysphoria or male feelings. if governments and sports programs care about young girls at all, they will keep the sexes separate in these cases.

[ilybutilovememore]

The terms girlcock, girldick, girlboner, ladyboner never fail to disgust me to a level of wanting to vomit. Trans identifying males are invasive, disgusting and perverse rapists.

[ilybutilovememore]

It is interesting just how much of the rage directed at JK Rowling seems grounded in utter bafflement that she will not back down.

She is just about the only woman in the world with the power and the financial resources to take the stance she's taken in as uncompromising (though polite) a manner as she has done, and both women and men the world over are clearly baffled by this because it's without precedent in a woman.

And all she had to do was write the most popular fiction series in the world to do it.

There's clearly an element of the backlash and confusion that has to do with what I think of as soft-online-version American cultural imperialism (see also all the references to the UK as "TERF island") but the majority of it is such obvious woman hatred it is truly galling to watch it be peddled as somehow representing the feminist POV.

I'm thinking of (and these are just from the top of my head) the now commonly peddled ideas that she:

Made up or is exaggerating the violence of her first husband in their marriage (the truly poisonous idea that victims can "weaponise" the violence by which they were victimised)

Is not that talented anyway and the terrible films of her books are why she is famous (factually untrue, as anyone who bought one of the original series books at a midnight release to frantically read before the whole world was finished with it by morning knows)

Was peddling uniquely terrible views in her books which were secret hidden Signs Of Her Problematic Nature (often due to the poor reading comprehension of people who don't understand what she was doing with SPEW)

Is an Evil Rich Capitalist who deserves any abuse she had coming to her (the only billionaire here to lose that status by appropriately paying her taxes and sinking so much of her money into sound evidence based charity work)

Has in some way discriminated against or inflicted violence on the trans community (untrue, the usual reversal)

Owes grace and mercy to the people stalking her home address and posting it online to incite others to go there and commit violence because they are "q*eer activists" who face "ruined lives" because she stood up to them and called out what they did as wrong by name (obviously bonkers to think you can stalk and harass and face no consequences for your actions because they're righteous in your own head).

Only in a world this steeped in the hatred of women could you write the most beloved children's books of all time (Diana Wynne Jones hipsters don't fight me, I am one of you) and still, for daring to publicly hold the safety and health of girls and women more dear than the desires of men, be instantly deemed a liar, a fake, an attacker playing the victim, a harasser playing the harassed.

In short, a woman, whose every action to defend herself is but further evidence of her fitness for greater and greater punishment at the hands of the mob who have decided they have the right to mete it out, and call it justice all the while.

[ilybutilovememore]

Even from the same sources (NHS and CDC) men’s cancers are referred to as such while women’s cancers are not. But tell me again about how it’s about inclusivity…